Ever since that happened, Sigrun had nightmares. Terrible nightmares about all kinds of monsters, devouring her soft flesh in a slow manner, enjoying in every bite... It would be so much easier for her if that dream never happened, then she would be able to smile. Now she is merely a living zombie, without hopes or dreams.

„Sigrun... Wake up, Sigrun!" – Half asleep, she heard a childish voice, belonging to her five year old brother. Like a real family, they were unseparable. Both of them lost mother and father, and Sigrun had to protect him at any cost.

„Zephaniah..." – She whispered softly. As always, he was pouting angrily, hating the way she called him. It was his full name yet he loathed it for some reason.

„Stop calling me Zephaniah! It's uuuuugly..."

Sigrun smiled, squeezing his tiny hands gently. He will be good soldier one day, she thought, just like his mother.

„I'm sorry, Zeph. Now, tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Zephaniah put a palm of his hand under the chin, and he did it rarely. Only when he was really thinking, and this question was of great importance for a boy of his age.

„I know! I want to be a soldier, fighting for humanity. Like this, puf-puf!" – He was mimicking what he saw earlier on the practice of young cadets and that made Sigrun smile. Little did they knew that their time is drawing near...

„And... What will you do then?"

„I'll protect you!"

„You know what, Zeph?"

„What? What?"

„You'll be a great soldier one day."

He gave her a weak smile.

Basically, she lost everything that day. Dreams about bright future were scattered in thousands of tiny, little pieces. Like a glass, they shattered. Broken, forever.

„It's a titan! Take cover!"

She felt it earlier. Horrible, deadly aura was lingering in the air, especially around her and her brother. Sigrun wasn't naive or religious, and although pastor Nick tried to convince them to believe in god, Sigrun still couldn't bring herself to actually believe in all those stories.

Perhaps it was mother instinct what was talking through her, but even before she heard faint screams, she whispered:

„Zephaniah, listen carefully."

„I'm not-

„IT DOESN'T MATTER! Listen... You know where the basement is? That place where we used to play long time ago... Hide inside and don't come out until I come, okay?"

„Basement sucks!"

„I know... Look, you are not boy anymore. I know what you went through and I know it doesn't make any sense right now, but in an hour, this house will be shattered. I don't want to lose you, do you understand?"

„Yes, I do... But what about you?"

„I'll be right behind you, I promise."

Something in her voice told him that she was serious, so he nodded, disappearing behind the open doors. Couple minutes after, her worst nightmares came true.

„Monsters! Monsters!"

She heard loud yelling and indeed, when she glanced through the window, she could see tons of them, making their way through the, once safe, village.

Sigrun didn't notice when it happened, but she was praying all along, praying for her safety and safety of her brother first. If God do exist, will they both survive this day? Will everything be the same tommorow?

Just when she was about to make her way to the basement, giant titan crossed her path. In some strange way, that something reminded her of her mother. It had her face and she tried hard not to swallow a lump in her throat. But it was too late now, it saw her. Helpless.

„No... No..." – She tried to call for help, to scream, but nothing came out. In a flash, a life faded in front of her eyes. Is this how the death look like? Was her mother in this same situation? Did she tried to escape?

She felt a cold, giant hand, wrapping around her sole body. It was too late for regrets, she thought. At least Zeph will stay alive and become fine soldier. No... Her only regret was not being able to see him as one.

„SIGRUN, NOOOO!" – She immidietaly recognize this childish voice. No, it can't be. I definitely told him to stay in that basement, what the hell was he thinking?

„No..." – For a second, it looked like titan smiled, releasing a grip on her body. Now his all attention was directed to a little boy.

If only she was rougher with him, probably he would be alive by now. But, fate was sealed from that solely moment, when her mother gave birth to them.

The sight was horrible, and there was nothing she could do now. Merely a second passed, but it felt like an hour. Why did he chose him over her? Who was toying with them, was it god? Or Jesus? Where was pastor Nick now, when monster is devouring Zeph's flesh, little by little, choping him like a piece of meat?

„Sigrun... Please... Help me..." – He was a child, but minutes before he died, Zeph felt his strong hands, wrapping around his body. Strangely, but it didn't hurt, although he could heard his own bones cracking, one by one. If it wasn't for that rotten smell, this death wouldn't be so bad after all. But he felt everything.

Sigrun screamed, running as fastly as she could. It was a worst thing she could do, leaving her brother to die alone, in a hands of the vicious monster, but something in a core of her soul told her to run away. To escape.

She felt a stabbing pain in her lower knees so she decided to breathe some fresh air. But in the moment when she made that decision, another titan showed itself, right in front of her.

„Hhhhh..."

She didn't care. When he grabbed her, she didn't care. It was too much for one day, and her willpower was already weakened. Even when he bit off left side of her face, she didn't care.

Just when he was about to take the finish bite, someone came from behind, chopping his head off. Even now, Sigrun couldn't believe, it seemed like her own eyes are playing tricks on her. Why? It's that God again; obviously I have to live. I have to live whole life, making up for all the sins I did!

„For god sake, stop spacing out, will you?" – A voice of her best friend, Ymir, broke her from her line of thoughts. A good riddance, she thought.

„I don't know Ymir..." - Even as a Survey Corps best cadet, Sigrun still had some insecurities. Half of her face was scarred and was wearing a mask to cover it. The only thing that looked good on her was her long, black hair.

„You have my support, and Commander Erwin's too. He saved you that day, didn't he? Stop worrying so much, when I say that everything will be alright, it will, okay?" – Somehow, the tone of her voice calmed her down a little, so she aggried, passing through the door.

When she entered the room, suddenly everyone stopped talking. Here and there, a quiet murmuring could be heard, until someone yelled loudly:

„Get out, freak! You are scaring everyone in this room!"

Ymir almost exploded, but Sigrun sighed deeply, giving her sign to stop talking. Obviously, she had something planned.

„It's not really excuse... But that day, a titan devoured my little brother. Right in front of my eyes, he ate him. It's a blurry vision in my head, but even now, I have terrible dreams about his lifeless body... But one thing I will regret forever is that I escaped that day. I couldn't stand to watch it, so I turned around. All the time, he was screaming my name but I escaped. This scar..." – Sigrun took of her mask, so everyone could see how it looks like underneath – „It's a punishment. It will never fade away, as long as I live. And as long as I'm alive, I will bear all the sins and burdens. So laugh at me, it doesn't really matter. Real scares are inside of me, not outside."

Soon she left a room, leaving a Ymir behind. Strangely, but there was indeed one person, who found her scars beautiful and astonishing. Will that one person save her from her darkness?

„Oi!" – Jean tried to get her attention, but although she could hear him perfectly fine, Sigrun didn't pay attention.

„Hey, I'm talking to you, just turn around for one second, will you?"

„No."

„Why not?"

„Because I'm monster."

And those words were true. It was merely an act, what she said before. In front of the others, she acted all might and bravely, but her inner being was full of scars and insecurities. Like a child, she pouted, trying to somehow avoid this whole situation. Like everyone else, he'll make fun of her face and then everyone else will follow his example.

„No, you're not. I kinda... like your face." – In that moment, he blushed, but she couldn't see it clearly. The room was lit by the single light of a candle, but he could see her perfectly fine. His eyes adjusted to the dark already.

„Stop fucking with me! You're just like everyone else!" – Her screams echoed through the hall, but in this moment, only two of them were in the room.

„Finally, I gathered fucking courage to confess you my feelings and here you are, acting like some spoiled child! What's wrong with you? You still don't know me, but one thing I really hate is talking behind the back! If for a one second, I thought you're ugly, I would say that to you, got that?"

Somehow, he talked directly and his voice was honest and blunt, so slowly, she turned around, still looking at the ground.

„Cool..." – He whispered, tracing his fingers all along her face. One second passed, and he was under her spell. Like a bewitched child, he wanted more and more, to drown himself in a sweet touches. But, everything has come to an end.

„I-I have to go." – She put on her mask again, disappearing somewhere in the dark. Jean tried to call her name, but she was already gone, so he wondered if he'll see her again. No matter how he longed for that moment to last longer, it was impossible to do it now and here. It will take some time before she open her heart once again, especially to some stranger.

He'll definitely change it.

In the same time, Sigrun was running through the empty streets, crying the tears of pain. Why did he have to say that? For years, her heart was cold and emotionless and he managed to change that in once second; she was far from ordinary and hoping that someone like him will fall for her was making her sad and angry. He was toying with her.

Probably he was just toying.

With those thoughts, Sigrid sighed, making herself comfortable in the wet alley. The rain started to fall, washing away all thoughts and worries.

Tommorow will be better.