Disclaimer! I do NOT own Naruto. Also, just so everyone knows, the warnings for this fic are Dub!con, SNJ use, MPREG!, and that there is some explicit content. So donm't be all surprised! I've warned you all! :) Thanks for reading!

Uchiha Sasuke. The bane of Naruto's existence. The most annoying person he'd ever met. And he'd met a lot of people in his life. He was just so... so frustrating. He made Naruto want to punch things. Mostly that self-satisfied Uchiha face, or maybe a good kick in the balls.

And yet... he was the main reason Naruto got out of bed in the morning. He made Naruto want to be better, want to be acknowledged. Made him ache for just a sliver of that attention.

But of course Sasuke had left the village as soon as they'd decided to release him from the prison they'd made for him. He hadn't even taken Sakura-chan with him, much to Naruto's relief. Although he wasn't entirely sure why he was relieved. Was it because Sakura-chan was still in the village, or was it because that meant that Sasuke wasn't off doing who knew what with her?

He'd never been so confused. And, of course, there was no way for him to vent his frustration, because every time he so much as tried to leave his apartment he was bombarded with well-wishers who were a lot more like stalkers now than anything else.

But at least he had two arms again. Granny Tsunade's plans to make him an arm out of Hashirama's cells had been a success, and now he was perfect. He could weave seals on his own without that asshole's help.

"See me now," he muttered as he glances out his window. Yeah, those shinobi were still out there waiting for him to come out. What was he supposed to do? He just really wanted to go to Ichiraku without a big fuss and maybe take a trip to his training grounds to get some practice using his new arm. Was that too much to ask for?

Actually- what he icould/i do, was to create a clone, and then a diversion. It was something that Kurama never approved of, but that was ok. Now that he had two arms again, he didn't need assistance amassing his chakra.

The arm still felt a little stiff, though, so when he made the seals for the clone, it felt a little uncomfortable. Not painful, just weird.

Now. His clone was staring at him with a pleased look on his face. "Yo!" They loved being created. And, as Sasuke had once accused him of, they did cover his loneliness. You couldn't feel alone if you had an army of clones to keep you company. Besides... it wasn't like they didn't all have their own personalities. It was like having low-maintenance friends.

"So... what's a good distraction that makes me look good to the crowd, doesn't require a lot of chakra, and won't be too obvious as a ploy to get the hell out of here?" He asked the clone.

Clone-Naruto gave him a once over glance and the corner of his lips quirked up. "I think you already know."

Naruto raised a brow. He had an inkling of what the clone was suggesting, but it didn't sound too too good. It would be... "Isn't it too obvious, though? Won't they know?"

The clone shrugged and shook his head. "Not if you do it correctly. Change the colour of your hair. Act a little shy. Don't yell anything. And don't be naked."

It did sound like a good idea. If he used the Sexy-no-Jutsu, he could convince the villagers that the great Naruto had a girlfriend, and that would help a whole lot to make them stop suspecting that the war had ruined him. And maybe it could even make Sakura-chan jealous? No, probably not. But he wasn't entirely worried about that. Sakura-chan had become his... was it weird to call someone you'd once thought that you would spend your life with romantically, his sister? He still loved her, but not the same way.

She was his perfect family. She loved him back, too. He knew it. Just... in a different way than he'd always wanted. So he had to create a different dream.

A dream that included... actually, he wasn't sure who he wanted to be with anymore. There was Sakura-chan, but that was already explained. There was Hinata who had professed love for him. But he'd never really known a thing about her. So he didn't know that that was something he wanted to follow through with. Which might've been weird, but... he liked her. She was a good friend.

Speaking of friends... Sasuke. What about Sasuke? Was it weird to wonder if he ought to have been doing the same rounds of self discovery Sasuke was doing? Wasn't he equally a threat to the village if anyone found him? After all, he was the jinchuuriki of all of the bijuu.

Which was probably why there was such a conglomeration of people just hanging outside his apartment. Trying to look as though they were his well-wishers.

Well, he'd sure show that bunch. Just like eventually he'd be able to show Sasuke.

Folding his hand into the symbols for his sexy-jutsu, Naruto felt his body undergo a change. A full change. One that wasn't as uncomfortable or weird as it had once been. He felt himself grow shorter, definitely bustier (although he didn't go crazy with that, just enough to impress anyone that saw him leave the room.), and grow his hair down to his shoulders. He decided to ignore the clone's ideals of changing his hair colour. He loved being blond. It set him apart.

But inside, deep down, he felt a change as well. He felt himself softening and moulding, and his chakra even underwent a transformation. He felt feminine on every level. He felt his whole body become a woman's. From the inside out. That was the only way to trick everyone (including any specialists, like the Hyuuga) that he wasn't Naruto.

Finally, to finish the transformation, he rifled through the bottom drawer of his dresser until he found a small blue dress that he rather thought would be flattering. It had been something he'd bought for Sakura-chan not that long ago, but that now he felt would be awkward to give her. Besides, this was a much better use for it.

"Here goes." He murmured as he pulled it on and had the clone help him zip it up. When he looked into the mirror, he never would've recognized himself. His hair was still blond, his eyes still blue. But he was lacking the tell-tale fox whiskers on his cheeks and he looked every bit the girl-next-door type. He was soft curves and pretty legs. He would've dated himself if it wasn't so weird.

Drawing in a deep breath, he pulled his hair back into a ponytail and slipped on his sandals and headed out the door.

The shinobi who had been stationed there turned to face him and they all at the same time looked rather taken aback. "Who are you?" Asked one of the more forward men.

"O-oh!" He exclaimed, stepping forward (although making sure that they still caught sight of a shirtless clone-Naruto in the room before closing the door. "I'm just headed home! You know... I, uhm, need to go home."

The guard that had first asked the question looked a little gobsmacked and nodded as he stepped back. "Of course, but what's your name? If you're acquainted with Naruto we should have you... known to us, shouldn't we? So that you don't get stopped every time you come in. so we know you're not a threat and all that."

Naruto nodded and bowed her head a little. My name's Na- erm, Naru. Naru. Yeah. That's it, just Naru. I'm from Kirigakure. Naruto-kun took me in when I had nowhere else to go."

They looked at him in that body like he was a piece of meat or some kind of whore just because he'd been in the room with a shirtless guy. Double standards. He didn't like it one bit.

"I'm just going to go and get something to eat. You know how talking and stuff can bring on the appetites!"

And he scurried away, pleased with the way the sundress tickled at his legs as he did so. Also pleased that his plan had worked. Even the Hyuuga stationed out there hadn't noticed that he was still Naruto.

Hands clasped behind his head as he walked through the village, Naruto felt entirely too pleased. He was proud of this village. It was his home, and he'd never seen one any better. But in this body, in this moment, walking through the streets that were still rebuilding, he felt even prouder.

These were his people. Sure they were... not the best sometimes, but they were still his. All his.

He was lost in a daze that he didn't even realize he'd walked so far that he was standing at the entrance to the village. Should he leave? Go on a vacation or something? Find Sasuke and pummel him?

"Excuse me," came a familiar voice from behind him, and it made Naruto jump. Holy shit, hadhe summoned him?

"O-oh! Sorry!" He said as he stepped aside. Although something he hadn't accounted for was how much too big the sandals were going to be, and as he stepped to the side to avoid the Uchiha, he tripped and fell to his knees.

Glancing up, he noticed that instead of walking away the way one might assume Sasuke would (because he'd done it so many times before), he reached out a hand for Naruto. "You need shoes that fit, girl. You look like you just grabbed the first pair you saw. Are you blind or something?"

Cheeks flushed, Naruto batted Sasuke's hand away, and pushed himself up, dusting off the dress as he did so. "Shut up, asshole! I know how to walk."

At that, Sasuke looked entirely surprised. Oh, yeah, Naruto was a girl now. He was supposed to show an extreme weakness to the Uchiha... er, charm? Or whatever it was.

Actually, not. He wasn't going to do that. He wouldn't humiliate himself any further. He was too good for that. Besides, it might be good for Sasuke to get the what's what from a girl for once. Not every girl was in love with him.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a beautiful girl before?" Sasuke was still staring at him with his lips parted a little.

"I'm not sure what you mean," he finally replied, closing his mouth and narrowing his eyes in irritation. Good. A familiar response from the other guy.

"Well you're just staring at me. My tits ain't that big, and I'm not naked. So why are you staring? Haven't you ever seen a kunoichi before? I'm going to go and train until I'm strong enough to kick all the ass."

Sasuke's lip quirked a little and he dropped his hand. "Do I know you? You do look... and sound, familiar."

Naruto's eyes widened a little, and he wondered if he'd been a little too brazen. "No! I mean, I'm not from here, I'm a Kirigakure kunoichi! So you wouldn't know me! But you might know my... er, iboyfriend/i Uzumaki Naruto?"

At the mention of Naruto's name, Sasuke's eyes flashed, and he tilted his head, looking the feminine body from head to toe a little suspiciously. Like maybe he knew? But there was no way. Naruto had disguised his chakra.

"Naruto is your... boyfriend? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. That guy is so... so..."

Naruto had to pipe up just then. He couldn't let Sasuke ruin his rep. "Great? Strong? Good looking? Big dick?"

Sasuke's cheeks warmed just a tiny bit and he shook his head. "I was going to say; too stupid to have a girlfriend. But you're not what I would've expected."

The way Sasuke was looking at him made Naruto feel suddenly naked. He rubbed his thighs together a little under his dress. Oh! That felt nice. But maybe not for the mood.

"And what's that supposed to mean? Have you spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of girl Naruto might go out with?"

One shoulder lifted and dropped. "Maybe a little."

The admission made Naruto's mouth go dry. He blamed it on the girl body. He wasn't.. he didn't care about what sort of things regarding his sex life Sasuke had ever thought about.

"Oh. Uh..."

"What's your name?"

Oh shit. The most underthought thing of this whole plan. He'd meant to spend more time thinking about a name, but since he'd already blurted one out, he had to stick with it. "Naru."

Sasuke raised a brow at that. "Naru, Naruto's girlfriend?"

His own cheeks reddening a little, Naruto puffed out his cheeks in annoyance. "I can't help what my parents named me, you turd!"

Sasuke laughed at him. A real laugh, one Naruto himself hadn't heard in iages/i. What made Sasuke feel so at ease?

"Anyways. I'm going to get something to eat, you want to come?" Naruto offered. Now that he had Sasuke in his sights, he didn't want to let him go.

"Isn't that the sort of thing Naruto would mind?" Sasuke asked curiously, eye that wasn't hidden by hair dancing in amusement.

"Naruto is well satisfied, I'll have you know. He trusts me."

"Well... satisfied? Really? That's how you're going to say that?" Sasuke asked somewhat incredulously.

Naruto simply shrugged, and lips quirked a little when the strap to his dress slipped from his shoulder and Sasuke's gaze followed it intently. Who would've thought that Sasuke had a pulse, too?

"It's the ionly/i way to say it. Besides, it's not like we're married or anything. We're just... having a good time."

Sasuke lifted his gaze to where it had been focused on Naruto's bare shoulder (which he now reached to awkwardly pull that strap back up), and he grinned widely. "Come on, moron, let's get something to eat!"

It was actually quite fun, and thrilling, to be able to pull such a feat off in front of Sasuke. The person that knew him the best. The only thing he had to be sure of was that Sasuke didn't see him fight. Or fight him. Because he was still Naruto Uzumaki mentally. Even if that mentality was wrapped up in a pretty little package.

"all right, then. Maybe you can catch me up about Naruto without being as annoying as him."

Bristling slightly (and still pretty pleased actually), Naruto lifted his nose in the air and began to walk back towards the village. "Doubtful. You seem like you have a stick up your ass and are just going to get annoyed by your own breathing."

Sasuke shook his head and followed alongside Naruto.

There was a companionable silence as the two walked beside each other, and Naruto wondered if he ought to have been feeling real guilty about what he was doing. He was tricking Sasuke into liking him in this form, into believing that he was some girl that was giving it uo real easy to... er, himself.

But he couldn't stop the comfortable warmth that settled in his belly at the way he and Sasuke were just... enjoying each others company. He knew that were he Naruto instead of Naru, there was no way that Sasuke would just walk beside him and have dinner with him. Or... even look at him that way.

What way was he looking at him? There was something dark under that gaze that Naruto had never seen before. Especially not directed at him. But it wasn't like he could just walk up to any woman and ask her what it was.

He had a clue, besides.

"So. Naruto told me you spent a long time away from the village. You find anyone to... keep you satisfied?"

He was rewarded with a dusting of pink across Sasuke's cheeks as he looked away. Good. Time to reset the balance of things.

"Not that it's any of your business- it's really not- but I've always been rather too busy for that kind of thing. And if I'm going to look for a woman to rebuild my clan with, it's not going to be-"

Naruto tilted his head to the side a little, his ponytail brushing against his shoulder and nearly scaring the life out of him. "You want it to be special, don't you? That's the cutest, most adorable thing I've ever heard. Really, we should tell more people about that. It would be the best pick up line ever, you know? Even if you're full of shit which is kind of what I'm thinking."

Sasuke stopped at that, reaching one pale hand with beautiful, long fingers and wrapping those fingers around Naruto's delicate wrist. "Don't you dare tell Naruto- look, I don't even know why I told iyou/i that. You're not- I just met you, and still it feels like I've known you for a long time. You're just too easy to talk to. So let's make a pact. Anything we say, between the two of us, private, all right?"

Naruto was taken over by a sudden feeling of heaviness. Sasuke looked so serious. Like he didn't know what he'd do if Naruto refused him. Which was something Naruto had spent his whole life trying, and failing, to do.

"Deal. Besides, I can make it fair. I know more than even you about Naruto. Different things, too. Stuff that will make you feel better. I'm a wealth of knowledge, and so long as you promise not to mock him for it, I'll tell you anything you ever could've wanted to know."

There it was. The hint of a smile behind Sasuke's usually so serious face. It took Naruto's breath away a little, and he wondered if that was what all the girls were usually fussing about.

"Sure. How about we take this ramen to go? I'd rather talk alone, and it's been months since I've been back here. I need to make sure the Uchiha grounds aren't being overrun by ninja cats."

Naruto laughed loudly at that. A sound that burst from him in a way that surprised even himself. Sasuke raised a brow, but seemed to settle into himself at the sound. It was good, but the sound was a little masculine, even to his own ears, and he wondered if he'd given himself away.

Sasuke's hand released his wrist, and they began walking towards the compound, ramen in hand. Naruto could smell it. Pork cutlets, and noodles, and oh. Oh, Ioh/i, that silky smooth broth that he loved to slurp up. It was perfect. He wanted to eat it right then, but he knew that it would be worth it to get to the Uchiha compound and hear more of Sasuke's deepest, darkest secrets.

Idly, as they walked together (and side by side instead of Sasuke in the front and Naruto following behind) he wondered if it would be really safe to tell Sasuke anything about himself. But, he reminded himself, Sasuke had never gone back on his word, had never done anything to let Naruto believe he'd be talking about whatever they said to anyone. Besides, who would he tell? It wasn't like Sasuke was brimming to the rim with friends.

It would be perfectly safe, and Naruto was a little excited. He wanted to be friends with Sasuke this way, too. In every way possible. It wasn't like he was actually tricking him. He'd eventually tell Sasuke that it was him. Just... not yet. He wanted to feel this close to him.

"So, this is it?" He asked as they walked through the streets of the Uchiha compound, most of the buildings looking rather like they were completely desolate. Dusty, and falling apart. And... wow. "There iare/i a lot of cats here, holy shit!" He exclaimed as they all looked towards the pair and then bolted from the compound.

Sasuke shrugged a little, and now that they were out of the prying eyes of the villagers, he seemed to settle, and that grin that had always been just below the surface emerged.

Just like before, it took Naruto's breath away, and he stared, full lips parted, as he took a step closer to Sasuke. Lifting the empty hand, the one that wasn't holding the ramen, he brushed a tanned finger against Sasuke's cheek.

Of course that froze the Uchiha in his place and he stared back, eyes alight, but confused.

"What are you doing?"

"It's just... I've never seen you smile like that before."

And just like that, the moment was broken, and they jumped apart. "You don't even know me, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Naruto flushed and let his hand fall back to his side as he shrugged. "I just mean that not even in the picture Naruto keeps by his bed, are you smiling. It looks good on you. Must be the thing that makes all the girls go crazy."

Sasuke lifted his nose at that, and then they were walking again, this time towards a big house in the centre of the compound. "I don't know what those girls find so appealing about me. Probably just because their older sisters remembered how much of perfect specimen my brother was, and they expected me to be the same."

"Itachi?" Naruto asked incredulously as they walked up the steps. "You think Itachi looked like a moron. He did so many- never mind. I just mean, in the pictures. He always looks so awkward and... he was pretty scrawny, you know? Not like you. You've got some muscles on you."

They reached the top of the stairs, and Sasuke forced open a door that led them into a dusty living area. "Take off your sandals. I just had the place cleaned for me."

Naruto nodded and slipped off his sandals (which was actually a relief, because wearing the wrong size was giving him a blister on the bottom of his foot.). "This place is great. Must really be a babe magnet, living on your own, huh? Naruto just has one big room. No kitchen, no living room, just a little bed in the middle."

Sasuke frowned a little and yup, there was the expression Naruto was used to having directed towards him. "I've never been to Naruto's place, but didn't he- he didn't have a family, so how could he have a family home?"

Naruto scowled darkly himself at that, lips pursing, eyes darkening, and brows furrowing. "Naruto idid/i have a family. Y'know, the Fourth Hokage, and Kushina Uzumaki. But they wanted to keep that a secret from him, and so they never gave him their family home. I'm not even sure what they did with it. Probably was destroyed in the fight with Pain."

Sasuke took a step closer to Naruto and, as though mirroring earlier motions, brushed a pale finger between his brows, soothing the furrow until Naruto's expression evened out. "Calm down. I know it's not fair, what happened to Naruto."

The touch had sent shivers down Naruto's spine, had settled something in his belly, and had made a rush of warmth sprouting from the place Sasuke had touched course through him. What iwas/i that?

Actually, Naruto had a pretty good idea of what it was. He'd had an idea for a long time. Since he'd been a kid sitting in a hospital bed, holding onto a forehead protector rather uselessly, and wondering when he'd fallen for his best friend.

So what was he doing now? What was he going to do? Was he really going to take this thing a step further and... and... take advantage?

He shouldn't. Not really. Not when Sasuke wasn't gay. (not that Naruto was. He preferred the term 'bi-curious') and not when Sasuke had no idea who he was becoming attracted to.

He did share a likely image with his male self. Same blond hair, same blue eyes, same tanned skin. But he wasn't- he was a girl like this and that was probably the only reason Sasuke hadn't punched him in the face yet.

"So, Naruto," Naruto began, swallowing past a lump in his throat and blinking hard to clear himself of any such thoughts. "Do you know... even though he pretends I'm his girlfriend, he's still a virgin? He's saving himself."

Something changed in Sasuke's expression at that, and he lowered his hand to gesture for Naruto to follow him further into the house. "I thought you said you kept him well-satisfied?"

Naruto shrugged, "That's the sort of thing I'm supposed to say, isn't it?"

Sasuke shook his head, more annoyed than anything, it looked. "No. You could've just told me you were... I don't know. His friend. His good friend."

Naruto shook his head a little. "He doesn't want people to know that he hasn't made it all the way with a girl. It's a pride thing, you know how he is."

Sasuke had a rather far away look at that, but he nodded. "Yeah. I know how he is."

Naruto wondered about that look. It made him want to transform back.

"So. You're single, then?" Sasuke asked as though it were the most natural thing to say in the world.

Naruto swallowed hard for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Maybe he was getting sick.

"N-Yeah. I guess you could say that. But Naruto and I are close, to you can't- I won't tell you anything that would hurt him in any way. Do you- do you want to hurt him?"

Sasuke shook his head again and took a step closer. They were really close. Naruto felt his nipples, as they brushed against the firm chest so close to him, harden beneath his dress and he waited with baited breath for the response. "Well?"

Sasuke shook his head, hair brushing against Naruto's nose. "No. I just want to make him-"

Naruto waited, lifting a hand to brush fingers against Sasuke's hand where it sat at his side. "I want to make him feel something," Sasuke finally finished.

"O-Oh. What?"

Sasuke sighed and tilted his head down to brush his nose against Naruto's. "I don't know," was all he said before full lips took Naruto's own in a slow, leisure kiss. It wasn't like what he'd expected. Sasuke was being careful with him. He was taking his time. He was sliding a skillful tongue against the seam of Naruto's lips, until Naruto parted them with a soft gasp and grabbed Sasuke with the hand that had been touching him lightly on the arm.

It wasn't what he wanted, though. He didn't want a Sasuke who was afraid to break him, who saw him as something fragile, something to be protected.

And so he did the only thing he could think of. He took control of the situation. He tilted his head up a little more, dropped the bag with the ramen in it, and tangled his fingers in Sasuke's hair, tugging hard and biting at his bottom lip with sharp teeth. He didn't care that he was being rough. He knew Sasuke could take it and that was all that mattered.

This was how it was supposed to be, and he knew he was doing the right thing when Sasuke let out a sharp groan and pressed his hips closer until Naruto knew without a doubt that Sasuke was very human. The hard length of his cock pressed against the curve of Naruto's feminine hip and he rubbed himself impossibly closer.

"W-wait," Naruto gasped as he pulled away, dress brushing against his knees. "I have to go."

And Sasuke was staring at him, dark eyes blown wide open, confused, and maybe even a little angry.

"What? Right now?" He was not impressed, not used to not getting his way, but he'd have to learn to live with it. Naruto wasn't there to make him feel better about himself. They were friends, but that didn't mean that Naruto wanted to- Sasuke wanted it to be special and there they were making out like the teenagers that they definitely were, in the middle of a hallway.

"Yeah, now, dickhead. I'm not- you don't- I'm having feminine problems," he blurted out before he turned tail and ran from the compound and the house as fast as he could, forgetting his sandals and ignoring the pain on the bottom of his foot.

It wasn't as obvious in that moment as the pain in his chest. Something he'd once thought about for so long, happening but not... not really. What was he going to do?

Maybe it was time for the real Naruto to step in and show Sasuke a lesson. So that nothing that confusing could happen again.

But even as Naruto stumbled through his barricade of shinobi blocking his door and into his room, all he could think about was that hot mouth slanted against his own. About that smile, and the touch of that hand.

He closed his eyes against the rush of emotion that was building inside of him and leaned heavily against the door. What was wrong with him? He should've been happy. He'd broken through the thick walls Sasuke kept barricaded around him and had seen a vulnerable side of him. It had been- it had been exhilarating. Thrilling. Perfect. Arousing. So, so arousing. He could feel his core still aching from what he'd denied himself, and he sank to the ground, ripping off the dress before releasing the jutsu that had confined him to that body that Sasuke had found so appealing.

"What's up with you, bro?" The clone asked him with a tilt of his blond head. The sight of him made Naruto feel shame and anger and quickly, without answering, he released the shadow clone jutsu as well, and felt relief as his room fell into silence.

He had to- he had to figure all of this out. Why, out of all of the people he could've fallen for, was Sasuke Uchiha now within his grasps, if only he... he just had to... ugh. Life really wasn't fair.