Title-Miss Independent
Rating- PG-13, for a kissing scene. Oh, come on, you'll live! Just read it!!
Warnings- None, unless for some reason you don't like fluff. Who doesn't like fluff?
Pairings- Remus/Tonks
Disclaimer- If I owned Harry Potter or anything in any way related to it, I would probably have better things to do with my time than sit around and write fan fiction. But I don't; so yay for time that I don't have better things to do with!!
Author's Note- I became randomly inspired with this fic when I had this song stuck in my head all day. Then I though hey, wouldn't that make a great fan fiction? And since I'm in a romanticy mood today, you all get to see it in all it's fluffy glory:-D Oh, and if you want a time frame, just stick it somewhere in OOTP because, really, it's not about agreeing with the story. It's about Remus and Tonks! I originally intended this to be a one-shot, but this fic is possibly to expand, if I get enough reviews. So review! Please? I'll love you forever...
[Edit]: Since I've decided to expand this, assume this chapter takes place near the beginning of OOTP. This fic will hopefully cover the RL/NT ship all the way through OOTP, so I figure what's a better starting point than the beginning? Unless it's the end and you're going backwards. But I'm not. So…enjoy!
********
Nymphadora Tonks poured herself a cup of steamy hot coffee and took a sip. She sighed in relief-her work for the day was done. For the night was more like it; even though she wasn't on night guard again, she had been kept out till nearly midnight trying to sort out paperwork for the Order. Paperwork, honestly! Although she was glad to help the Order, one would think a highly qualified Auror had better things to do with her time. She pulled a kitchen chair out from under the table and sat down. Somehow, she still wasn't tired. Bodily she was exhausted, but she knew her mind wouldn't allow her to sleep. She produced a red and white stripped straw from the air with her wand and stirred the coffee rhythmically, sinking into a trance of mangled thoughts. Thank goodness no one was here to disturb her from her thoughts; now that she was in the Order she hardly ever got a minute to think.
But of course, her time alone with her thoughts didn't last long.
Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance
"Tonks? Tonks, is that you?" Came a tired voice from the doorway. She jumped in her seat, causing coffee to spill down a pair of faded jeans. A small shriek quickly followed as she turned around simultaneously.
"Bloody hell, Remus! You didn't have to scare me like that, you know! Scourgify!" She spoke the last to her wand, which got rid of most of the coffee stain but left a damp spot on her jeans.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I was just...wondering who could be downstairs this late," he sighed lightly. "Get much work done?"
She growled under her breath. He gave a quiet chuckled. "I'll take that as a no. Mind if I sit down?"
"Go ahead, and take some coffee, too. I think I've made too much."
"Why did you make coffee this late at night?"
She paused. "I don't know. It always calms me down-" Wait-had she let him in too far? He shouldn't know the things that calmed her down, or riled her up, or got her to crack a smile, for that matter. He shouldn't be allowed into her mind, that she was readily allowing him access to now. "Err…never mind."
"No, I know exactly what you mean. But I'm wondering how much later you plan on staying awake tonight."
"Who are you, my father? I'm a grown woman now, I'll stay up as late as I want, thanks," the words came out more harshly than she'd intended them. Honestly, she didn't want to say them at all. But if she didn't...well, then things might get too personal. And she most definitely couldn't afford things getting more personal with Remus. She'd get ahead of herself and things could go horribly wrong. She ignored his efforts to help her out of her chair and busily set her wand to cleaning and replacing the coffee cup.
Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
"Tonks, are you feeling alright?"
No, she wasn't. She was feeling very much like she'd make herself sick with the thoughts she'd been having about the man right before her eyes if she didn't get out of the room that minute. But really, what harm could being nice do?
"Sorry, Remus. I just-I'm tired, I guess."
He took a long sip from his coffee mug. "You're fine, nothing to apologize for." He raised the mug slightly, "How did you become so good at making coffee? Surely you wouldn't have had much need, growing up in a wizarding family?"
"No, it's something I picked up right before my apparition test. Rumors were going around that it stopped your ears from popping."
"And does it?"
"Well, no, not really," she felt her face gain a pinkish tinge at revealing she'd been foolish enough to believe things the other people were saying. "But it's nice to have something warm in you, all the same."
"Ah. I see." He smiled, seeming to go into a daze from behind his golden hazel eyes. She wondered vaguely what was going on in his mind at that moment before being able to pull herself together and remembering she now had no reason to remain in the kitchen. She knew she was drawing suspicion to herself, but she didn't want to leave.
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love
"Tonks, I mean no offense, but you honestly do look tired. Are you sure you wouldn't consider going to bed?" He stood and pushed his wooden chair back under the table, sending his coffee mug to be cleaned with a flick of his wand.
Her hand slid up to her forehead and supported her brain, which was slowly beginning to take a backseat to her heart. 'Get out of there,' her brain begged her, 'before you screw this one up!' But its voice was becoming fainter and fainter, and all she heard was the velvety flow of Remus' voice tainting the very air around her.
"You're right," she said softly. "Perhaps I should," although it sounded more like a thought than a plan. Wait, was he closer now? And what was that in his eyes? She wouldn't allow herself to dare to think-
"Alright. Goodnight then." If possible, his voice came more slowly and quietly than hers. His long fingers reached slowly to her face and replaced a few stray strands of her hair. She relished the feel of his fingers against her skin, wanting to stay in the moment forever. She swallowed a sigh and attempted to regain what was left of her composure. She could never remember feeling so weak in all her life, and she had never remembered enjoying her weakness.
"Yes…Goodnight…" She felt the last of her sanity leave her body with an exhale. At this moment she had nothing to lose; his face was so close to her she wanted to scream, to end the torture before it agonized her any longer. Just when she felt about to give out, she felt his lips brush against hers, so softly it might have been by accident if he hadn't known, if they both hadn't known he'd meant it. But that wasn't enough-she wouldn't let him stop there, she'd waited too long. Closing her eyes, she took his gentle, placid face in her hands and kissed him more deeply, using her tongue to part his smooth lips. He responded quickly and not only allowed her access to him, but kissed her harder, with a need, with an emotion so much more intense than desire he could never find the words. Back in her head, she heard the voice of her brain calling back to her. She willed it away from her consciousness, tried to make it smaller, but it shouted at her until she could no longer enjoy the fact that she, Nymphadora Tonks, had just kissed the man she'd loved for longer than she cared to admit, the man she'd been thinking up till this moment that she'd never be with in this way. Now she was certain she could never do this. She broke away from him suddenly, rendering him speechless. The light in his eyes told her what she already knew-that he wasn't done with her. She hoped her eyes didn't give the same message away; now she understood why people who are lying blink so much. In effort to conceal her eyes, her windows to the world, she concentrated on changing them to another color as she spoke, trying to summon the emotion of anger that simply wouldn't come.
"I think that's a bit of enough. Goodnight, Remus," she said with force. She turned and left him staring at the backs of her jeans as she strode out of the room and up to her own.
What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door
Surprise...It's time
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you
When love is true
As soon as the door to her room was shut, she plopped down on her bed and attempted to pull out her hair, which had just gone a brilliant shade of magenta. She started to scream into her pillow in frustration, but realized she didn't want to contaminate the place where his lips had been just moments ago. This thought only made her want to scream harder. Love wasn't supposed to be this hard! If only they weren't in the Order together, or even if she was just a few years older it might seem more possible. But she could never be with Remus. It just didn't make sense. Not to mention that voice in her mind would never allow such a thing. She wanted to drive it out of her head, to make it stop making things complicated, but at the same time she wanted to build a shrine to it, for it seemed the only sensible thing in her life.
Except for
Remus. But he was a different story.
Miss guarded heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no
But she miscalculated
She didn't want to end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love
She laid her head on the wrong end of the bedspread and decided just to think for a minute. She already knew she was in way over her head-she most certainly didn't need any voice to tell her that. But did it really matter? What would happen if she went straight back downstairs and told Remus exactly how she'd felt for all this time? What would he say? It was obvious to her now that he wouldn't hate her. But would she be ready for whatever his reaction happened to be?
She wanted him. But was it as simple as that?
A knock at her door answered her question.
So, by changing her misconceptions
She went in a new direction
And found inside she felt a connection
She fell in love.
"Tonks? You've got to be in there, please open the door."
She sighed as she rose and approached the door. Whatever he had to say, she wanted to hear.
"Yes, Remus?" She cleared her voice of all emotion. She didn't know when she'd mastered this talent, but it had come in handy more times than she could count, and it wouldn't fail her now.
"May I come in?"
"Of course, of course," a hint of an icy tone crept into her voice. He entered and closed the door behind him. She suddenly wondered if she trusted herself alone in a room with a door that closed after her display of weakness downstairs. Well, there was no backing out now. After several moments, she realized he hadn't spoken.
"Did you want something, Remus?"
"Not me. You."
"Excuse me?" She tried to hide her surprise. What kind of game was he playing?
"You want something. You want me. You know you do, don't you even try to deny it," he said as she opened her mouth in protest. "Just let me tell you this, alright? It's obvious now. All the casual glances, all the favors, all the times we've taken jobs with each other, it meant something. Neither of us can hide it any longer, alright? That means me, too. I'm telling you this because I want you to hear it, because otherwise you'll try to forget and you know you can't. Part of you knows that wouldn't be right. It's my job to fix the other part, because I won't let you let me go. And I won't let you go, either. You know I'd never hurt you. You know I care for you, and now you know I love you. That's all that matters, Tonks, and you know it. You do." He ended with such finality and force she'd never known him to have.
What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door (open my door)
Surprise...It's time (yeah)
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), old you (oh you)
When love, when love is true
"But…I can't." She began to wring her hands nervously, trying to think of some way she could fix this in her mind so she hadn't kissed him mere minutes ago, so she didn't so desperately want to collapse into his arms and spend the rest of her life there…
"Why? Why can't you?"
"Because it's you. You're Remus…I could never do that to our friendship."
He took one of her graceful hands into his own slender palm. "Listen to me," he began quietly, his eyes boring into hers now, and she knew that if she tried to conceal herself, if she tried to mask her love away, he'd know. "Listen, Tonks, you can't do this all your life. You can't deny yourself a love just because some part of you thinks it makes you stronger. I won't let you do that. Because now that you know, now that we both know, I don't know if I could live if I let you go away."
She could feel a tear forming in her eye. No one had ever spoken to her like that before. Of course, no one else made her feel so many emotions she'd never known until she was with him. But to allow this weakness to prosper would be to allow herself to meet her downfall.
"No, Remus," her gaze shifted to the floor. "I don't know what's gotten into you. But you're wrong. This 'love' you speak of…I think you've made it up in your mind. A manifestation of one too many fairy tales and an animalistic desire to protect, I daresay. But know this, Remus, I do care about you, if only as a friend. It was an illusion. Nothing more."
When Miss Independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to miss no longer afraid?
His eyes fluttered doubtfully for a moment, and as the beautiful hazel orbs focused themselves on her, she found herself asking if he really could have believed her? For one moment in her life, she wished she were more transparent. He sighed.
"Forgive me. Of course you're right." So he had bought her act. Now it was back to a lifetime of wondering what could have been...
"Just answer me one question, Tonks." His eyes searched her own madly.
"Yes?"
She knew what was happening only about a second before it did-in one heart stopping moment, his lips closed against hers, entering her slightly opened mouth and ushering his tongue back and forth between their mouths for a few mere seconds. He broke away from her all too quickly, with her eyes still closed she gave a deep sigh.
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can't that be me
I'm so glad I finally see...
"Did you really think I'd buy into your little act?" He asked, grinning crookedly at her. She felt her face flush and shifted her gaze to the ground.
"Well yes, actually, I did," she said in mock resentment. "Like you're such a
good actor yourself, I've seen right through you this whole time."
"Tonks? Do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"Less lying. More kissing."
What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door
Surprise (surprise), it's time (yeah)
To feel (to feel) what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), old you
When love, when love is true...
Miss Independent
********
And they snogged happily ever after. The end!!!:) Ok, now where are all my reviewers?
