A/N I own nothing. Princess and the Frog song parody with a bit of dialogue thrown in to keep the story going. Full 'song' 'lyrics' at the end if you just want to read along with the song from the movie. IDK. Live your life. Enjoy this train wreck!

"I need your help."

"With what?"

"The internet."

"What about it?" The wifi wasn't down on my laptop.

"My new supervisor keeps making jokes that my coworkers get and I don't. They asked to follow my Instagram but I only have a few photos."

"So you want to get into internet culture to fit in."

"Yeah, kind of. Just so I don't look like a complete idiot from 9-5 everyday."

"Ha. Mood." Mom raised her eyebrows. There was a lot to do. "You're sure you want to do this?"

"Positive. It can't be that hard!"

"Don't you disrespect me, Mama dear! Don't insult me, or get upset!"

"Excuse you?"

"Sorry I- It's part of this bit I'm doing. It's a quote from a movie. Kind of."

"A cartoon?"

"Disney. The Princess and the Frog. It's more than just a cartoon, gosh!" I sassed. For the sake of not getting grounded, I pretended my 'outburst' was a joke before moving on to my melodic lesson.

"You're in my world now, not your world. And I've got friends on the internet."

"What have I told you about talking to strangers? I know you're almost an adult but-"

"They're called mutuals, Mom. Just a someone I chat with online, a little banter now, don't worry. Pull out your new laptop, hold your questions please. If you just wait that'll let me, teach you 'bout the digital scene." I opened her browser for her. Internet explorer. We'd probably change that later. Or partway through the song without mentioning it to the audience. (That's right, I've got fourth wall jokes).

"I can show you tumblr."

She started to search for "tumbler".

"Which is spelled without an 'E' " I tried to keep the melody going as much as possible.

"I'll look deep into your twitter feed. You still use twitter, don't you Mom?" She gave a half-hearted shrug. We had a lot of work to do. "Make these Vine jokes less crazy."

"Vine had those funny videos, right?"

"Yeah, but there's so much more."

"How much more do you have to show me?"

I barked in laughter before continuing the song. "I've got shit posts, I've got finstas, I've got memes I ain't even sent! But most of all: I've got friends on the internet."

(A/N Memes change too fast for this fic to hold up so I'm leaving out this verse. Also it took forever to get this far. And it's finals week. Let me have this...)

"Start a blog. Come on, Mom. Just reblog a few, little posts?"

"Alright then."

Soon she was going through pages of tweets, finding classic vines, and sharing new posts. I got back online myself to let her explore.

After a while I checked her tumblr to see how she was doing. My eyes almost popped out of my head. She had a whole system going. "Are you tagging?" Mom barely looked over. She was responding in the tags and not dragging out the post. "Are you tagging?!" I exclaimed. "Look at this blogger go." Look at this blogger go. "Posts more than just for show!" Posts more than just for show. I started up the song again.

"What's the big deal?"

"Don't you see it?" I turned her eyes to the clock; several hours had passed since she started her blog. "You're posting! You're posting! You're posting all night!"

"How is it that late?!" She had finally turned to the 'meme-side', as my friends jokingly called it.

"I hope you don't regret. But if you do, don't blame me! Blame my friends on the internet!" I finished the song like a proper performer, with a dramatic spin and jazz hands while the pre recorded audio track played the last, telling lines of the original song: You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!

Mom stared at me with a look of confusion, amazement, and a touch of fear. "You had all that prepared?"

"I have a lot of free time."

"Well you need to pull your weight around here. No more slacking off. You're getting a job tomorrow."

"So are you, if you paid attention!"

.

.

.

.

.

Don't you disrespect me, Mama dear! Don't insult me, or get upset!

You're in my world now, not your world. And I've got friends on the internet. (They've got friends on the internet.)

They're called mutuals, Mom. Just a someone I chat with online, a little banter now, don't worry.

Pull out your new laptop, hold your questions please. If you just wait that'll let me, teach you 'bout the digital scene.

I can show you tumblr... Which is spelled without an 'E'

I'll look deep into your twitter feed

You still use twitter, don't you Mom?

Make these Vine jokes less crazy.

I've got shit posts, I've got finstas, I've got memes I ain't even sent!

But most of all: I've got friends on the internet. (They've got friends on the internet.)

(Verses to be made in the future maybe?)

Start a blog. Come on, Mom. Just reblog a few, little posts?

Are you tagging? (Are you tagging?) Are you tagging?! (Are you tagging?)

Look at this blogger go (Look at this blogger go)

Posts more than just for show (Posts more than just for show)

Don't you see it?

You're posting! You're posting! You've posted all night!

I hope you don't regret. But if you do, don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the internet!

You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!

deleted potential lines: "I'll guide you through classic tweets and vines! You remember Vine, don't you, Mom? Make all these posts seem less crazy."