Disclaimer & A/n: Harry Potter & Co. aren't mine, but the rumor that Ronnikins (sp?) has genital warts totally is. I promise to update :)

She was surrounded.

To the left were small scribbles of "Draco Malfoy xoxo"; the same vandalism appeared to the right, accompanied with non virtuous details of his anatomy.

She couldn't even take a decent piss without seeing a little fraction relating to the piece of shite. After flushing the disgraced toilet, Hermione found herself carving Neville's name next to Malfoy's.

King of the Potty Palace, indeed.

…

"Seriously, Zabini, cut it out. I am NOT in the mood."

"C'mon Granger, it's not a big deal, just a little fun. "

Hermione let out a very feminine giggle, and after hearing this strange effervescent noise, Draco had to take a look at what scandal was occurring in the Restricted Section of the Library.

Oh, well, never mind then.

"Fuck, Malfoy! You scared the bloody shit out of me."

And there they were, Hermione Granger and Blaise Zabini sitting across from each other at a small desk. Books weighing well over a ton were placed in the middle, and Blaise was in the process of constructing another paper airplane even though Hermione looked as though she had been bombarded by quite a few already.

"Bulstrode wants you. Common Room, in approximately two minutes."

Blaise ran a long pale hand through his hair, grinning guiltily at Hermione.

"Well, I'll see you next week Granger. Same place?"

"Of course."

And she let out a genuine smile that made Draco's hands clench tighter, his blood vessels near popping from the exertion. Stubborn as ever, Draco refused to step aside as Blaise was forced to squeeze between Draco and the bookshelf to get to the corridor.

Hermione snorted.

"Jealous, Malfoy? How human of you, I'm proud, no doubt. But be a little more subtle the next time this happens. Don't want dear Blaise to notice anything."

"You were flirting and giggling for Merlin's sakes! I---"

"I wasn't notified that telling a fellow peer to abort his leisure activities of shooting paper airplanes were under the categorization of flirting, Malfoy. I suspect Pansy's been leaving negative influences."

She sniffed the air and feigned shock.

"Why, is that Coco Chanel? Tsk, Malfoy, I never pegged you as the type."

Draco gave an inward celebration at Hermione's clearly advertised resentment towards Pansy.

"Granger, shagging Pansy is considered the norm, the expected. We're high-class sex chums."

He grinned as she glared menacingly, which soon wore off as she plastered on a small smile.

"The norm and the expected? I admire your ability to turn your STD-infested love life into a supposedly forced romance novel."

"Granger, must I remind you that it is Weasel with the genital warts and not me."

"And isn't that grand? I must tell you, the added friction and texture makes me so much more responsive."

With that, Hermione walked past him, rendering him speechless with her impish grin.

Before Potions, Draco Malfoy had Hermione Granger against the wall in the corridor, his long pale hands placed on either side of Hermione on the wall.
All I have to do is shove my knee just there and then I can go into class… were the thoughts running around Hermione's mind, but no, she decided to spare Malfoy the pain between the legs.

"Where is it." As he spat his demand out, Hermione was tempted to wipe the bit of spittle from her forehead.
"Hmm?" Hermione raised her eyebrows, torturing him with nonchalance towards the situation.

"Where is it", he gave particular emphasis, and tipped his head towards her chest area.

"Malfoy, the civilized, aristocratic act serves you much more justice rather than this replay of Ron during his meals. The similarity between both of your lack of vocabulary is astounding. I'm surprised Blaise hasn't surpassed you academically… yet."
Bloody sodding prick, that Zabini… She even had the gall to say his first name.

"Where's the bloody handkerchief, it's not with you."

"Of course it's not with me. I'm aware that you're relatively intelligent but do you really expect for me to wear a piece of silk that's outlined with your house colors and engraved with your bloody initials? Or are you insulted because I refuse to let you brand me with one of your items; I'm at a dilemma: should I feel privileged because the mighty Draco Malfoy extended his generosity to a mudblood, or should I acknowledge that 'us' means 'nothing worth of attention', as you so politely stated last week."

Draco snorted, and Hermione deeply took the consideration of damaging his chances at fertility once more.
"Darling, it seems you've misinterpreted me. So I will ask you once more: Where is the current location of my handkerchief, and I will gladly take it back since, and you have guessed correctly, you apparently do not appreciate my flexible generosity."

Bitch thinks she can trample over my dignity.

"When I find it, I will return it to you."
…
"When you find it?"

She smirked, "I apologize, it wasn't expensive was it? I'll buy you another one if it appears I have lost it."

What you gonna do now, prick?
(The handkerchief was under her pillow, carefully folded, handled with care. But his ego was high enough.)
He glared at her in silence, and as the footsteps of students approached, he removed his hands from the wall.

"Oi, Hermione, get in the classroom, Snape assigned us as partners and Mum'll kill me if I get less than an "O" in Potions… Malfoy, Pansy's been waiting for you ever since breakfast. I don't believe she can survive another heart break from being ignored."

Hermione gave one last smirk at Draco, and raised an eyebrow, daring him to object. Then, she turned to face Blaise Zabini, smiling and walked into the class room, discussing the effects of Valerian Roots and Erumpent Fluids.

Contemplating Snape's insanity, Draco sauntered into the room looking for Neville, who was clearly quivering with fear at his bad luck at having Malfoy as parter.

"I have one thing to say to you, squib. You don't touch anything, except when Snape's observing, and when he does, cut the Valerian Roots into pieces of at least 2 centimeters. If you jack this up, I swear on Merlin's knickers that I will---"

"Malfoy, I think he understands that you'll bring on the entire wrath of the Slytherin house and the Malfoy name. No need to make repeated threats."

For fuck's sake, the bloody Italian mutt was everywhere.

"Zabini, apparently your Mum forgot to teach you manners while she went off a bloody shag-fest throughout Europe. So, for humanity's sake, sod off."

"Bet Lucius still misses my Mum, then, eh? Tell me, does he still moan her name in Azkaban?"

"Blaise, leave it. No need to goad him, when he's in such a state." Hermione frowned at the two boy's behavior, being accustomed to the taunts that were shared between Harry and Ron.

"Oh, look Malfoy, you have Granger defending your arse."

"Zabini, I don't need a mudblood to defend me."

"Apparently you do, come on Hermione." Blaise grasped for Hermione's arm.

Draco smirked, anticipating an outbreak from Hermione at Blaise's stupidity. Hermione smiled coldly at Blaise and released herself from his grasp.

"Blaise, I will warn you, for your sake, in the near future, do not say my name in that 'come along' form of context. You are not my master of any sort, nor do you have authority over my dignity. Also, do not acknowledge or agree with any part of Malfoy's statements that I am a mudblood, because this mudblood is the reason why you're ranked second in class."

With that closure, Hermione seated herself dutifully in the front of the classroom.