Title: Never Hers
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon, and never will.
Helios/Usagi. One-sided ChibiUsa/Helios. Angst/Romance.
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The others may pretend all they like, but she knew.
She knew that she was just a replacement, an echo, a reflection, a shadow of the real thing. After all, she is the closest that he would get to the real thing.
They had the same heart-shaped face and wide eyes. The same love for life and people. The same laugh...
Their similarities only grew more evident when she finally hit puberty and slowly began to develop.
She now had the same stature as her. Her hair grew as long, though styled differently - but it was just as silky and smooth. Her figure mirrored the other, right down to her facial features.
However, she could see the glaring differences - and it was this that she loathed.
No matter how similar, no matter how much she could imitate the real thing, it would never be enough.
Her hair was pink, not golden. Her eyes were red, not blue. And no matter how much she laughed and smiled for the entire world to hear, it was not as distinct or as merry as the real thing.
She could tell by the looks that he would send her way.
Whenever he held her, kissed her, and whispered sweet nothings into her ear she knew it was not meant for her.
She could feel it with every kiss and touch - they were never as loving or as earnest as she wanted them to be.
When he looks at her, it would always be through her and not at her. How she longed for the day that he would see her, and not that woman.
The day that Helios saw ChibiUsa and not Usagi.She didn't know when she began to notice, but she eventually did. There was always something off about the way that Helios' blue eyes stared at her, as if he couldn't quite see her.
Before she would always wave it off as her imagination, but over time, she slowly began to see the truth. And the truth hurt.
Helios didn't love her - he never had.
At first, she was furious - she wanted to scream and shout, she wanted to break down and cry.
And she did - in her room, away from prying eyes.
Then, in the silence of her room, she felt something well up inside of her - desperation and need.
Without knowing why, she realized, to her horror that she came to love him. The thought of him leaving her, of him not loving her, was enough to bring her to the brink of despair.
Thus, she lowered herself to mimicking Usagi. It hurt, to try and act like Usagi, her own mother. But she did it, in hopes that maybe just maybe Helios would love her.
Even if it was not really her, but Usagi.
Because she knew, even if the others pretended otherwise...
...that Helios would never be hers.
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