The Gala was over, all the surgeries were a success. Callie picked up Sofia from the daycare and drove to Meredith and Derek's where she was sleeping on the couch. Putting Sofia down in her crib for the rest of the night, Callie realized she hadn't eaten anything real since lunch. Taking the time to change out of her gown in the guest bathroom and slip into her night clothes, she then made her way to the kitchen to make something as a snack. Looking through the fridge she found some leftover pizza from the night before. Grabbing two slices she took to the couch to eat and read. After finishing her pizza Callie realized she had been staring at the same word for almost ten minutes now. Putting the book down, she got up and went to grab a drink. No wine tonight because she was at the house alone and not across the street from the hospital anymore. Water would just have to do for now.
Sitting down with her thoughts again Callie sighed. Closing her eyes and seeing how Arizona looked tonight with the one time they locked eyes. She remembered the way her breath was stolen from her chest at the sight of the woman who still held her heart completely. despite what she had done. Arizona had looked so beautiful. The first thought across Callies mind was how mad she was still, then it changed. Her shoulders fell and all she could feel was longing. A longing for the woman across the room to have not broken her into pieces. Callie wanted Arizona standing next to her. At this thought Callie started to get the well of tears in her throat. Even though she was alone Callie was tired of crying to much at the slightest thought of being without Arizona or thinking about what Arizona had done to get things to where they were right now. Tears starting to fall out of brown eyes, Callie put her head in her hands and let them fall. The picture of Arizona looking so beautiful tonight burned into the back of her eyes.
An hour and a half later, after a very long and tiring cry, Callie had fallen asleep on the couch. The sudden ringing of her phone woke her out of a very heavy but restless sleep.
"Hello?" Callie said not even bothering to look at the caller ID. Her voice was hoarse from crying so hard and it came out as a whisper.
A sob came over the line but no one spoke.
With an eyebrow raised, Callie cleared her throat to try to speak louder this time. "Hello?" Callie said with a little more force.
Another sob and then the line went dead.
What the hell was that? Callie thought to herself as she laid back down and tossed the phone, with alarm on, back to the table. She had had a long night and just wanted to sleep for a couple hours before she had to go to work in the morning.
Arizona had a lot to drink. While Arizona lived just across the street from the hospital, when she was drinking her leg would hurt if she walked that far because she was physically tired. Instead of letting April go home drunk Arizona offered to let her stay in the guest bedroom or on the couch at her apartment. April accepted because she couldn't really stand being alone right now either. After they got to the apartment Arizona gave April some clothes to sleep in and showed her to the bathroom to change. Threw some extra blankets on the couch, which took everything she had because she couldn't quite remember where Callie had stored them, and took to her room for the night.
The house was silent and cold that night. Everything feel like it was swimming in her head from how much she had to drink. When she heard the door across the house close signalling that April was going to bed, Arizona pulled her phone out. Clicking on the gallery she started to flip through the pictures of her family from a happier time. When they were all together, smiles and playing with Sofia. Starting to silently cry to herself Arizona felt an emptiness in her chest. An ache for what she had and could now lose forever. The regret of everything from the night of the storm swelling inside making her cry harder. Phone in hand, even in her drunk state Arizona knew it was a bad idea, but she dialed the number she knew better than her own.
After she heard the first ring Arizona did her best to make her breathing slow and crying silent. Everything was working until she heard Callie's voice on the other end.
"Hello?" Arizona could tell Callie had been crying and that she had woken her.
A sob escaped as she felt the pull of wanting to comfort her wife.
Hearing Callie clear her throat to speak better almost sent Arizona over the edge to say something. When the second 'hello' came over the line Arizona couldn't keep it in anymore. After the first sob escaped she thought that she could compose herself long enough to talk. That wasn't the case after Callie spoke the second time. Everything hit her so hard. She sobbed louder this time and realized there was no escape from what she had done so she just hung up. Not wanting Callie to hear her crying so pathetically at the sound of just Callie's voice.
Setting her alarm even though she was only on call tomorrow, Arizona decided she needed to sleep of the champagne before she made another mistake like the call that had just ended. Laying down in the bed Arizona wanted to desperately to just be able to talk to Callie again. About nothing and everything like they always had. Finally drifting off to sleep with thoughts of her Calliope, Arizona still had tears falling while she slept.
Eyes heavy from last nights crying Callie turned her alarm off and just sat up. Not willing to cry again she just put her head in her hands and leaned on her knees. Everything was so wrong right now and there wasn't anything she could do. Unwilling to give on this issue and not wanting to talk about it to anyone or go to therapy Callie knew things were going to drag out far longer than she wanted. All the love in her heart for Arizona paled in comparison with how much Callie was hurt by the one person she truly gave all of her heart to. Ending her sulking Callie got up and started coffee before she went to get ready. Mornings weren't near as hard as nights were. Callie was used to waking up alone if Arizona got a page in the middle of the night. But falling asleep without the woman she gave her heart and soul to in her arms was painful. So painful in fact that some nights Callie just didn't sleep. This morning felt like one of those mornings where she was running on empty.
After Callie showered and dressed, she went and woke Sofia and got her ready to go to daycare. Getting Sofia's bag ready and then grabbing some coffee in a to-go cup, Callie made her way to her car in the driveway with Sofia on her hip. After getting Sofia in her car seat and herself into the driver seat, Derek and Meredith pull up. Callie just waves goodbye to them and backs out. Thats her life now. After dropping Sofia off at daycare Callie heads to her office to get some work done. Sitting by herself with just the charts on her desk and pictures on the walls, Callie lets out a sigh. Deciding to get a fresh coffee from the cafeteria, Callie heads downstairs. When passing through the lobby she sees Arizona standing at the nurses station looking a little frantic and going over a chart. A picture of last night floods her mind and her breath is taken away again. Unable to help herself again, Callie walks up beside Arizona but doesn't say a word. Arizona hasn't noticed her yet so she just watched her Wife work. Wishing with everything that she could lean down and kiss Arizona's cheek or even put her arms around her waist and pull her in for a hug. Finally Callie gets the nerve to at least clear her throat.
After getting a 911 page this morning, and regretting being on call, Arizona rushed into the hospital. A child was in need and she didn't hesitate. After doing everything she could for the tiny human, Arizona was going to chart and couldn't stand being in her office right now. Standing at the nurses station in the lobby, her leg sore from not enough sleep, Arizona didn't hear when someone came up next to her. She did however know exactly who that noise came from and it stopped her heart before she even looked up.
Brown eyes met her blue ones and there was almost longing in them she thought. Callie was standing next to her. Not very close but still close enough that her skin was on fire from wanting to hold her wife again. Arizona knew that if she made a move to do anything Callie would just walk away again.
Callie spoke before they could get lost in each others eyes for too long. "Uh, Hi." It wasn't much but it was a start Arizona thought to herself.
No smile breaking out on her face Arizona just stood there. Lost.
"You looked beautiful last night." That was it. That was all Calliope said to her. It was breathy and low, full of love and want. Callie turned and walked away from Arizona.
A stray tear making it's way out of blue eyes and down her face to end on parted lips. Arizona could taste the tear on her lip and knew she wanted nothing more than to fix things with Callie. First though, she knew she had to fix what was damaged inside of herself. After wiping a second stray tear away, Arizona pulled out her phone and dialed the therapist she had planned to see somewhere down the line and asked for an appointment that week.