Title: A Beacon Hills Christmas
Pairing: Caroline/Derek
Rating: T
Warnings: Language
Author's Note: Requested by Shannon (CastleLover96).
"I've seen Christmas lights reflect in your eyes…"
He hated Christmas.
Hated the memories that can with holiday, all wrapped up with a nice big, red bow on top; the color of blood and fire. Every moment, of everyday he remembered the family he lost, the life he would never be able to live. Everything lost.
He made enemies of friends, manipulated and lied to his pack, put them all in danger…And just when it seemed he would be alone for the remainder of his life, if it were a life worth living, she appeared. Her white light shined, almost blinding him; her genuine beauty undeniable to anyone's eyes.
She was kind and honest. So incredibly honest his pride had been wounded on more than one occasion. But, for some reason, he delighted in the brutal truth of her words. There was something about the way she spoke, the way she viewed him without judgment in her gentle blue eyes.
She was perfect. Like a Christmas angel, with her soft blond locks, framing her porcelain white face; delicate, pink lips set in its habitual smile. A smile that always seemed to be directed his way.
Her innocence was blaringly obvious to all those around her. And he knew he should stay away from her, especially with a mother like hers. But there was something about her that drew him in, this utter goodness that pulled him to her like a moth to a flame. She was everything that was good in the world. And he realized, every Christmas wish he'd ever had…had been for something…or really someone to change his life. Give him something worth living for.
The man couldn't deny, Caroline was a good as it got. The pack had already deemed her one of their own. She had found a kindred spirit in Stiles—something that had become more apparent after their parents started hooking up. In Lydia and Allison, she had found the friends she had left behind. They understood the drawbacks of having a relationship with…his kind.
And they did…have a relationship. As much as he tried to deny it at first, the almost instant connection, he no longer could. Not now with the holidays rearing their ugly head. Not with Caroline bringing them up every five minutes whenever they were together.
The tree, the lights, the decorations…That's when the memories came flooding back. Of baking cookies with Laura, hearing his mother laugh from the kitchen doorway after they'd burnt the first batch…And she could see it, in his eyes, the pain he harbored. And he knew, on some level, she understood that pain.
"There is no way I'm wearing this." He almost growled out, scowling down at the ridiculous costume. It was a Santa suit. The blond had somehow gotten the notion into her head that they would be going to Lydia's Christmas party dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Like hell.
Caroline rolled her eyes at his display of disgust. Derek thought it was childish to hold onto such things as the belief in some big, tubby old man that sneaks down people's chimneys and eats their cookies, but there was something in his voice that told her otherwise of his Scrooge-like tendencies. It was sad, really.
She loved Christmas. She loved everything about it; from the tinsel to the plastic snowman decorating the front lawn of her new home.
"Oh, yes you are Hale," The blond informed him, poking him in the chest for emphasis while looking into his green orbs. There was an unspoken sadness held in them. And as much as he tried to keep himself from the array of feelings that coursed through his body whenever she touched him…whenever she asked something of him, he knew he would be unable to deny her of anything.
A growl rumbled in his chest and he gazed down at her with a scowl. Even now, he could not deny the flare of happiness that ran throughout his body at the prospect of spending more time with the woman, who had unknowingly claimed him heart from the instant he laid eyes on her.
For her, the experience had been as depicted in those romantic movies. It was as if all time had slowed down and the only people on the planet were her and him. There was little else she could think about after. All that came to mind was the dark leather…his thick brows raised in slight surprise…and everything about him excited her.
"I don't do Christmas par—," He began before Caroline raised a hand to silence him. The look she gave him told him there was possibly no way he was getting out of going.
"There is no way I'm going to Lydia's party by myself when I have a perfectly, sexy boyfriend to go with me," She managed to get out before the man's lips came crashing down over hers in an attempt to shut her up. God, he was insanely attracted to the blond but there was little else he could do to get her to quell her when she was in neurotic-control freak mode.
She tasted of mint candy cane, a flavor he remembered faintly from his youth; recalling Christmas mornings when he and Laura would devour each and every candy cane that their towering tree adorned gleefully while their father sat, watching from his seat wearing a ghost of a smile.
There was a pang in his chest at the memory. Derek pulled away from the young woman slowly, noting the look of obvious confusion that crossed her face. Caroline could always sense when something was wrong. And when she stared up at him with her big, blue eyes a part of him wanted to break down and tell her exactly why he did not celebrate Christmas.
Why should he be able to when his family was dead, his sister was dead and he was the one to blame?
Caroline cupped his cheeks gently, thumbs rubbing soft circles along his stubble, trying to regain his attention. He did that often…retreat back into his mind whenever something struck a heavy cord within him.
A sigh escaped his lips and he took her hands, gently removing them from his face. He stared down at their joined hands for a moment, craving the sensational warmth of her touch. It was something he had grown accustomed to over the time. The unusually soft skin of her hands against his callused ones. The way she simply fit against him. Everything about her was perfect.
And he did not deserve her.
"Derek," She called out to him as he stormed away, leaving her standing in the middle of the woods alone. He ignored the pull of her voice, the one urging him to return to her side. It was something unexplainable, but he needed to clear his head. He needed this Christmas to be over and done with so things could go back to the way they usually were between him and her. The looks, the casual touches, a peck here and there, the things that made his heart drum rapidly in his chest. That is what he needed, not some Hallmark holiday that held nothing but regrets.
What he felt for her was something he hadn't felt in a long time. It encroached on love but…it had been such a long time since he'd felt that particular emotion that he was not quite sure. Even when he'd been with Kate in high school, what he'd felt for her had not been love.
He knew that now. But what he felt for Caroline was something complex…pure even with the blood that was on his hands. She accepted him for all he was. Wolf and all. It was how she'd endeared herself to his pack.
"What do you mean you're not going to Lydia's party tonight?" Scott asked flat-out, surprise evident in his voice. It was no secret that the strawberry blond girl had invited the alpha (mostly due to his relationship status with her newest best friend). It was also common knowledge that Caroline had not been able to shut up about the party since she'd heard about it.
"I mean I'm not going." Derek stated, breathing out each word stiffly through his clenched teeth as he lifted his chin over the bar hovering overhead. He ignored Scott's prying eyes, instead choosing to focus on his next set of pull-ups.
"But…I thought—Allison said Caroline was really excited to go." The boy got out, voice laced thickly with confusion. He sat uncomfortably from his perch by the fireplace, eyes shifting to where Jackson and Isaac stood, watching on silently.
Derek's feet hit the ground with a loud thud as he released the steel-like hold he had on the bar lift, turning his full attention to Scott.
"I just…can't." He began, pausing as an old memory came to mind. It was from his early childhood. He'd been about nine, writing a letter to Santa about what he wanted for Christmas. It was a stupid wish, really, but it was something that he thought about around the holidays. Snow in Beacon Hills.
"Why not?" Scott inquired, crossing his arms over his chest with interest. This was possibly one of the few moments in their relationship when neither of them was lying, manipulating, or threatening the other. It was kind of nice. Almost as if they were becoming…friends. Although he wouldn't go so far as to say Scott was his favorite person to deal with.
Derek ran a hand across his face, rubbing his temples absentmindedly as the memories—the reasons came flooding through his head. The regret, the guilt, and the constant reminder of what he would never have. The family he had lost. If it weren't for Caroline…he knew the others would not put up with him. Not after everything he'd done.
"It's complicated," Was all he offered. Scott scoffed, eyes narrowing slightly as they stared back into his.
"Then make it uncomplicated." He snapped back before crossing the room, pausing as he came to stand before the alpha, adding thoughtfully, "If you keep pushing her away, you are going to end up losing her."
"What do you mean you're not coming?" The girl's voice shouted in her ear over a loud rendition of what sounded like the Twelve Days of Christmas.
A slight frown graced her lips as she responded over her cellular, "I mean, I think I'm just going to stay in, watch the Christmas special with my mom…"
"Care, I've been planning this party for weeks," Lydia exclaimed in obvious disappointment before adding as an afterthought, "Allison and Scott are already here. You have to come. It won't feel the same without you."
The blond sighed, eyes flickering over to her doorway where her mother suddenly stood, peeking in. She motioned for the woman to come in before returning to Lydia. "I have to go Lydia, but have a good time. Don't worry about me."
She hung up, not giving her friend the opportunity to speak up in response before turning her attention to her mom, who was a little bit too dressed up for a movie night. The older blond wore a champagne colored dress that fell to her knees, her short hair curled slightly at the ends.
"Mom, what's with the glitz and glam? Not that you don't look nice…"
"Sheriff Stilinski was nice enough to invite me to the precinct Christmas ball." Liz informed her, unable to contain the smile that threatened to overtake her face. It was weird, seeing her mother dating again; especially when her attempts were proving to be more fruitful when it came to getting the man in her life to spend the holidays with her.
"Oh."
"I should be back by midnight, but if I'm not you have the emergency numbers on the fridge and you know where I keep my shotgun." Her mother offered a parting smile, leaving Caroline to her own devices.
The blond stared after her, eyes closing as a thought occurred to her. Was this how she was going to spend the rest of her life? Alone—even when she was in love. And he loved her back; she could feel it…in her heart. Would he eventually leave her alone, as she felt now?
A soft knock stirred her from her thoughts. She stood up slowly from her bed, making her way toward the sound. Again the sound of knuckles against wood filled the silent hall. She eyed the front door, hand grasping the knob and pulling it open hesitantly, uncertain of whom she might find on the other end. Hopefully not Lydia coming to drag her to the Christmas party.
Her eyes widened slightly, taking in the sulking figure of Derek. He gazed back her intently, silent for a moment.
"Hey." She murmured gently, a small smile marring her face at his unexpected arrival. She had thought he would have hauled himself up in his home. But here he was, standing before her wearing an expression of uncertainty.
"I—I'm—"
"It's okay Derek." Caroline sighed, simply happy that the man was standing before her, within arm's reach.
An inkling of a smile crossed his lips before it disappeared. "Come with me."
Before she could raise any questions, he took her hand in his, leading her down the front porch of her new home and across the street where there had been a small, open area that had once been a house. Instead it had been torn down years ago, leaving an empty space.
A shiver ran down her spine as the ground beneath her feet began to crunch with every step she took. It was snow—in California. The empty lot was covered in it. Frothy, white snow.
She sent the man a side-long look, wonder clouding her features.
"When I was a kid…I used to dream of having snow, on Christmas." Derek admitted voice low as his eyes meet hers in a long stare. It was hard, sharing his past with a woman who had so much sway over him. But…inside, he knew she would never use it against him. Not as Kate had done. Caroline was different. She was special.
The blond's expression softened slightly at the reveal and she squeezed his hand comfortingly, turning so that he could wrap his arms around her petite frame.
"Thank you, Derek." She muttered into his chest, fingers running along the nape of his neck absentmindedly. "Really. I loveit. And…I love you."
He pushed away from her slowly, hesitance in his eyes as he took in her words. It had been such a long time since someone had said those words to him. A long time since he'd had someone to call his own…since he'd had a family. And here was Caroline, professing her love for him without fault. He could hear the utter truth in her words. She meant what she said. It was one of the many reasons he…loved her. He did—love her.
Derek's mouth quirked, lowering to capture hers in a slow, tender embrace. He relished the feeling of her soft lips against his, the way her hands wound their way around his neck, the way she stood on the tips of her toes so that they were almost at the same height.
After a beat she drew back to catch her breath, cheeks flushed with heat; something he found strikingly beautiful. The blond stared up him silently, lips quirked into a soft smile.
"There is one more thing…" He began, pulling out something from his back pocket.
"Derek…" Caroline breathed out, eyes widening with the sudden idea of what he could possibly have behind his back flooding her mind. She was too young to get married—though the gesture would be incredibly sweet.
He craned his head, sliding a red cap over his dark hair. Santa's hat. A sigh escaped her lips, realization dawning on her that he was simply upholding the wish she had of him being the Mr. Claus to her Mrs. even though she herself wasn't quite dressed for the occasion.
To say he looked…ridiculous in the red, velvet cap was an understatement. But he didn't seem to mind in the least. Not when she wore a smile that could run miles long. Not when it was directed at him.
"Me—Merry Christmas, Caroline." Derek whispered into her hair, placing a swift kiss on her temple.
"Merry Christmas." She murmured as he pulled her into his arms, the sensation of her beating heart against him causing a string of emotions to swell in his chest. He loved the feel of her…he loved how he felt when he was with her. Like he could do anything. Have anything—possibly even everything he ever wanted.
But…all he really needed…or wanted more than anything in the world…was her. To have her look up at him in that way that only she could, give him that looked that told him he had made her happy. To be the one that could make her happy. There was very little from Scott that Derek would take into consideration, but this…was something the boy knew well.
The happiness of the woman he loved was the most important thing in the world. It trumped the painful memories from the past that he wished to forget. It was more important than how he felt, when it came time to the holidays. Besides, the holidays were about spending time with family…and the people in your life. And well, while he no longer had family (although the Caroline would state otherwise that pack was family) he did have the blond who'd managed to get him on-board the train of merriment.
Though, going caroling was not going to happen.
"Thank you." He could have sworn he heard her mumble into his chest. "The fact that you did this…for me…just, thank you. So much."
"Caroline…I'd do anything for you. Even put up with Christmas." Derek informed her with an utter truth in his voice. There was nothing a wolf wouldn't do for his mate and…so there was nothing the alpha wouldn't do for the blond that had taken his breath away the moment he laid eyes on her.