Alex and Olivia and Someone else

by MHfanSmoezz

Just an other story about Alex and Olivia, and someone out Alex' past. Just let me know what you think! I add some parts when I have written it, so it'll get longer every time... It's definitely not finished yet and it won't be anytime soon.

10 am courthouse steps…

'Heyy. Are you okay?' Olivia asks a girl who's standing crying on the courthouse steps.

'I will be… But can I ask you a question?' the girl asks, now little blushing.

'yeah sure, what do you want to know?'

'Was that Alexandra Cabot you were talking to, two seconds ago?'

'Yes, do you know her?' Stupid question Olivia, if she knew Alex, she wouldn't ask if it was Alex. Olivia thinks by herself.

'No. It was stupid from me to come here. Damn, I should have stayed at home.' The girl says more to herself than to Olivia.

'May I ask what your name is?'

'It's Melissa. Melissa Corns. Why? What's yours?'

'Olivia, or Detective Benson. Whatever you like.' Olivia winks.

'I should go.' Says Melissa in a hurry now.

' Sorry for asking, but why did you want to know if it was Alexandra Cabot?'

'Well, sorry for answering' and very stupid for answering, she knows Alexandra of course! Stupid Stupid Stupid Melissa. Think before you answer. NO don't think before you answer… If you can't even tell this stranger, how on earth are you ever going to tell Miss Cabot the truth?

'but?' Olivia asks the girl who's now completely lost in her thoughts.

'Sorry what?' Melissa asks after she was brought back to earth by Olivia's voice.

'You said: Sorry for answering, but you never answered. So, what was your answer?'

Tell her! Tell her! Damn Melissa JUST SAY IT!

'I think Alexandra Cabot is my biological mother.' She says, her face completely red from the blushing.

'WHAT? No wait.. WHAT?' Olivia asks, now complete in shock. 'She can't be, it's not possible, no you must be wrong. She's almost 40 and you're 18? Then she must had been 22, so that means that if you were her kid, she would have kept you, wouldn't she?'

'I guess she found her career more important than her baby, don't you think?' Melissa says, fighting against the tears. Don't start crying, you knew this already, don't start crying, DO NOT START CRYING. Damn. Why is my body fighting my thoughts and why the hell does my body win? Melissa thinks while the first tears fall down her cheek.

Oh god. Why did I say this, now this poor kid is crying. Of course Alex chose her career over her baby. I knew that, now she wouldn't but 18 years ago.. She would! Of course she would. All she cared about was to be a DA once. Now that she is, the rest comes. But back then…. Oh God. I need to say something to this poor kid.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. Are you okay?' Olivia says, still blaming herself for being such an ass.

' Yeah, I already knew this. She choose her job over me. But I had a good life, I just wanted to find her since I was 10, but my mom never told me who she was. I think she was scared to lose me. And my dad, he wanted to tell me, but he was killed before he could. And 2 days ago, my mom told me who she was, she showed me a picture of Alexandra. That was actually the last thing she did, she asked me to get the box where the picture was in, she told me that the woman on that photo was my real mom, and then she died.'

'Oh my God, I'm so sorry!' Olivia said while she fights the tears. 'Do you want me to tell her you were here?'

'No! Well, I don't know! Maybe, I just want to know if she wants to know me, I mean, I have no-one left. Everyone died in the last 2 months, except my dad than. But my grandparents they died in a car accident on the way to the hospital to see my mom. They never took the same car. My dad's parents couldn't stand my mom's parents, because they blamed them for the murder of my dad, because my dad's killer was my mom's father's enemy. Long story, I know. And when they finally made peace because my mom was so sick, a drunk driver killed them all. I think that's why my mom gave up. She just couldn't stand it anymore. And I cannot blame her. But why the hell did she leave me alone. She couldn't handle it anymore, but what about me?' Whatthefuck. Why on earth am I telling this to a stranger? Like she cares? Wait.. That look on her face, it's like she's listening. OMG.. Why does she care? What the fuck is wrong with me? Who cares if she listens? I don't have to tell it.

'Oh God, I'm so sorry for you. Wait do you want to sit down somewhere and talk? It's easier and warmer then out here in the freezing cold on the court steps.' Olivia asks truly feeling sorry for the girl.

'No, I don't think that's a good idea, I wasted enough of your time. You probably need to go home, don't you?'

'No. I don't, at home there's nobody waiting and my boss gave me the day off, that's why I was seeing Alex.'

'Don't you have any family than? And why is your day off the reason you go to see Alexandra?'

Shit, she's smart. How do I explain to her that I went to see Alex on my day off? Should I tell her that I just asked Alex if it was okay if I made her dinner tonight. And then what, also tell her that I want to confess my love to Alex tonight?

'Uhm, I asked her if she liked dinner tonight, and if it wasn't my day off, I wouldn't be able to cook dinner. And no, I don't have any family waiting for me, just a lot of dishes waiting in my sink'

'You cook dinner for Alexandra? Does that mean that she doesn't have kids who ARE living in her house?' Melissa asks curious.

'Yep, that's what it means. Look I'm sorry to break this chat, but if we're not going somewhere inside, you have to call a bus, 'cause then I'm frozen to death.' Olivia says. After it comes through what she had just said she looks at Melissa to see if it did any damage. 'Damn, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that, sorry.'

'Oh don't worry it's okay, I get it. I would've said the same thing I guess. I think I'm going in on your invite. Let's go somewhere warm.' Melissa says, feeling completely save.

'Okay let's go than!'

10.30 A.M a little restaurant

'Are you planning to tell Alex that you're trying to find her?'

'I had it all figured out this morning, you know. I knew she was a DA. So all I had to do was go to the courthouse, find her, and then tell her who I was. But seeing her, laughing and talking to you, I chickened out. I don't know why, I'm normally not that shy. But I think I didn't want to ruin her life. You know, she gave me up for a reason. Of course she doesn't want to know me, because if she did, than why didn't she contact my parents. It was an open adoption, my grandparents knew her parents and that's how it came up, like I was an old car that my parents needed and Alexandra wanted to get rid of.'

'I don't think it was any like that. I think it was a really hard thing for her to give you away, don't you think?'

'Does she ever talk about me? No! Because you were completely shocked when I told you I thought she was my mom. Did she ever contact me? Again… NO! She didn't want me then, and I'm almost sure she doesn't want me now! I just never should've come here. I should have stayed in Holland. That's where I belong, not here. Not on the other side of the ocean.'

'Holland? What? Are you telling me that you're not from here? You said your mom died 2 days ago. Did she die here or there?'

'there'

'Then how did you come here so fast? Where have you slept last night? Outside?'

'No, not outside, on the airport. I took the first plane to New York and I landed last night round 11.'

'Olivia, I knew I could find you here!'

OMG, don't tell me she did. Oh god yes she did. Alex came here. Oh boy. That look on Melissa's face. I'm feeling so sorry for her.

'Alex, hi. What can I do for you?'

'I couldn't reach you at home, so I…' Suddenly Alex sees the girl on the other side of the table. 'OH MY GOD. No this can't be, It's not possible, it can't be.' She mumbles while tears fill up her eyes.

'Alex? What is it? Do you recognize her? Alex?' Olivia asks.

'I should go. I knew this was wrong from the start. I'm so sorry for wasting your time Olivia and I'm sorry for making you cry Alexandra.' Melissa says while she put on her jacket and want to get up.

'No! Stay!' are the only words Alex can get out of her mouth.

'Yeah sweetie, sit back down, finish your drink. It's okay. Alex, you too, go sit down.' Olivia says softly.

This is going to be a very very very long day! Olivia thinks by herself.

'Melissa? Why are you here? Your mother told me that she didn't want you to know about me, that I never should contact you, that she wouldn't tell you that you were adopted. Why on earth are you here?' Alex asks crying now.

'SHE TOLD YOU WHAT? She told you that YOU didn't want to see ME! That there was no point in knowing who you were! That you found your career more important than me!'

'WHAT? No! I never wanted to give you up! My parents made me. They told me it was better and that they wouldn't give me money for my study anymore if I decided to keep you. I was a student. I didn't have any money. I wanted to have you so badly. But they kept yelling at me that it was better for everyone if I gave you up. And I don't know how, but they convinced me to sign the papers. And after you were born I didn't want to lose you. I wanted to keep you, but they took you away when I was asleep. And when I woke you were gone. They showed me a picture of your parents and told me over and over again that it was better this way. And I don't know how, but I started to believe it. I knew who your parents were. I was at the same school as your mother. So I started it was better for you, that they would give you the life I never could give you. That they would love you like you were they're own. And the first months my mom forbid me to go see you! Because she was afraid I would want to take you back. And when I finally could go see you, your mother told me that she would never tell you that you were adopted. I never should have listened to any of them. But how on earth did you find out?' Alex said, crying and angry.

How could they do this to me? And to her? Why did I believe any of them? What the hell was wrong with me? I never should've believed any of them.

'I found out when I was 10. A boy in my class told everyone he had been adopted. That he was told when he was 7. He told us that he felt different, that he didn't have his mom's eyes, and neither of his parents were blond, and his hair was almost white. So he knew somewhere that he was different since the age he could think. And after he told me that, I started to think. I felt different from my parents. I felt like I didn't belong there. They loved me, they sure did! And I loved them to, but it wasn't the way my friends parents loved their children. So I asked my dad, I don't know why, but I just knew he wouldn't lie to me. And that's when he told me. So I also asked him who my real mother was. But that he wouldn't tell me. I started to ask everybody. My mom, my grandparents, my neighbors, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, everybody. No-one would tell me. My dad almost told me when I was 11, at least I think so. Because he told me that morning that we would talk that evening about who I was, and where I came from. I couldn't concentrate at school that day. And after lunch break. The dean came in class and told me to come with him. He told me my dad was killed in a shooting. And until 2 days ago everybody else kept quiet.'

Olivia had pulled her arms around Alex and hold her close to stop her sobs.

'Shhh, Alex, Shhh, It's okay. It's all gonna be okay.' Olivia says crying herself.

'Let's go to my place, it's the closest from here, there we can talk more private. If that's okay with you Melissa.' Olivia says.

'Yeah sure. I guess nobody is going to get mad at me for going with strangers. Because there's no-one. OMG. Sorry Alexandra I didn't mean to call you a stranger.'

'Call me Alex, please! And it's okay. I get what you mean.'

Olivia's apartment 1 PM.

'Shall I make a cup of coffee? Or would you like something else to drink?' Olivia asks when they arrive.

'Coffee is great, but can I use your phone? I'm supposed to be in court in like 2 hours, but I think Casey can take it over.'

'Can I use your bathroom?' Melissa asks.

'Yeah sure. Alex can u help me with the coffee?'

In the kitchen

'Sweetie maybe is it better if you take the week off, Casey or the others can do your cases. Melissa really needs you right now, and she has no-one else, the victims have the other ADA's and your boss can help them if they can't get out.'

'Olivia, I can't do this alone! I gave her up, I feel so guilty! I did this all to this girl. I don't even know where she lived. Only that she left 15 years ago from the place where my parents lived. I can't do this by myself. Please, stay with me, take a week off too! Please Olivia, I need you!' Alex says in tears again.

'Honey of course I will stay, as long as you need. I'll call Cragen tonight. But about the question where she lived the last 15 years… She lived in Holland. She flew back in last night and slept on the airport.' Olivia says taking the crying Alex in her arms.

Damn she's so soft, I want to kiss her, make her tears go away. Bad timing Olivia, bad timing. You can't tell her now that you love her. YOU CAN'T! She just found out she has a kid! A kid who needs her!

'Olivia? What are you doing?' Alex asks after Olivia's lips leave her mouth.

'Oh my GOD! I'm so sorry! Oh god.. Sorry sorry sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen , sorry Alex sorry!'

'No It's okay, I'm in love with you too, I know this is a very bad timing, but I love you. I wanted to tell you tonight after you made me dinner, but… Well, Melissa came around.' Says Alex while she leans in and kisses Olivia back.

Olivia feels the lips of Alex on her own, she lets her tongue find Alex's. After a few passionate moments they both let go of the other, completely out of breath.

'God I love you' is the only thing that comes in Olivia's mind and out of her mouth.

'I love you too sweetie. Damn. Wait, where's Melissa? Still in the bathroom?'

'that's not possible, she went in there 10 minutes ago, do you think she saw us and ran away?' Olivia asks suddenly scared of what she might have done.

'I'll go check the bathroom, look in the hallway. Maybe she's still waiting for the elevator, that slow thing takes 10 minutes to come to your floor!'

'I will!'

'OLIVIA! Oh my God Melissa, Wake up sweetie! Wake up! OLIVIA! Wake up honey, please wake up! What have you done? Please wake up sweetie, wake up, please Melissa!'

'What the hell? Oh God Melissa! I'll call a bus, stay with her Alex, stay with her!'

'I'm so sorry sweetie, I never should have let you go! I should have taken you with me! Who cares if my parents wouldn't give me money anymore! I could've made money on my own. Damn Melissa, Wake up! I need you to wake up! I want to get to know you, I NEED YOU! I can't let you go once again! Please Wake up!'

'the bus is on his way. Oh my god, what did she take? I don't have a lot of medicine. Nothing more than a few painkillers from the last time I was shot! But there were no more than 10 of them!'

'Here's an empty bottle!' Alex says looking terrified.

'Is that all she took? Oh! Then she will wake up tonight! Those are my sleeping pills! There were 5 left!' Olivia starts laughing.

'HOW CAN YOU START LAUGHING? And it doesn't say that those are sleeping pills, this are heart medicine!' Screams Alex out of frustration!

'Yeah, I know what the label says, I think that's why she took them! But last week my other box, where my pills are usually in, broke. So I had to find a new one! And there were a few pills from my mom left, so I emptied the bottle in the toilet, and put my sleeping pills in it! Trust me! But the bus will be here any second and then you'll hear it from them! Common, I'll carry her to the couch! On this hard floor lying isn't the best way to get some sleep!' Olivia says while she picks up Melissa from the floor.

'HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU BE SO CALM? My daughter just overdosed! She just tried to take her own life away! And your laughing! How can you say that you love me? You're laughing!'

'Oh sweetie! I didn't mean to laugh, it's from the frustration I guess. Wait, I'll put her on the couch and then we'll talk.'

After Olivia put Melissa on the couch she takes a fighting Alex in her arms.

'Go away Olivia! You laughed! How could you do that? My daughter tried to take her own life and you laughed! GO AWAY! I don't want your arms around me! GO AWAY!' Alex screams before she breaks and let Olivia take the control over her body.

'Shhh baby, Shhh, I'm here, It's okay, It's all gonna be okay! Oh the paramedics are here, I have to open the door honey. Alex? Come on, go lay down on the couch. It's okay, I'll be right back.'

The paramedics take Melissa with them, Alex first wants to ride with them, but Olivia stops her. 'We'll be right behind them, Alex. You can't sit in the ambulance, you will completely freak out!' 'yeah I think you're right! Can you bring me, Olivia, please?'

'Of course I bring you! Honey! Of course! Come on!'

After they arrive in the hospital, Olivia calls her boss that she has to take the week off. She also takes Alex's phone when Casey calls to ask where Alex has been.

'Hi Case. It's Olivia, Alex is not able to get to the phone, so tell me, what's up?'

'Uhm, yeah, hi Olivia, Where is Alex? She needs to be in court in like 10 minutes. Where the hell is she?'

'Didn't she call you yet? She can't be in court today, actually she can't be in court for the next week. Someone from her past showed up. And now we're in the hospital. Long story, don't ask. But can you cover for her?'

'Yeah, sure. I'll do my best. But Good Luck, I think.'

'Thanks Case, I'll tell her.'

'Oh my God, I totally forgot to call her. I was planning on doing it, but you kind of distracted me, and then the thing with Melissa happened. So I totally forgot. How mad is she?' Alex asked Olivia after she hung up the phone.

'She's not mad. No, she doesn't like that she has to work overtime, but she's not mad.'

'Excuse me miss, are you Alexandra Cabot?' the doctor who just walked in asks Olivia.

'No, but this is. Did Melissa woke up yet?'

'Yes, she asked for miss Cabot. Miss? You can see her now. '

'Right, okay. Olivia please come with me!'

'Can I come, doctor?'

'Yeah, fine. Melissa is a little bit sleepy, but she's awake.'

In Melissa's hospital room 3 PM.

'Hey Melissa, how do you feel?' Olivia asks.

'I'm so sorry! I just couldn't see a way out anymore. I heard you two talking, about… well you know… each other. And it just came trough to me that I don't have anywhere to go now. My mom is dead. My dad is dead. My grandparents are dead. Everybody is dead. I came from Holland yesterday. So I don't know anybody here. You two have your own life. Your guys even try to build a life together. I have nowhere to go. I just… It was better if I were dead! Everybody else is, so nobody was gonna miss me!'

'Wow! Stop! Why are you saying all those things? How did it got into your head that nobody was gonna miss you! We would! Even though we didn't know you before this morning! I would love to get to know you! And I think I'm talking for Alex also! Just don't say that kind of things in front of your mother!'

'How can you say she's my mother? Like you said she didn't even know me, till this morning!'

'How can you say she's not your mother? She gave birth to you! I think that's a very good reason for me to say that she's your mother!'

'STOP IT! Both of you! Just STOP!' Alex screams trough the room. 'I am your mother, yes! I gave birth to you, yes! I didn't know you till this morning, yes! But that gives both of you no reason to fight in this freaking hospital and scream out loud if I'm your mother or not! IT'S NOT A REASON! Do you both get it? And now STOP SCREAMING! I'm getting sick of both of you!' Alex screams in tears.

'Alex are you okay? I'm sorry!'

'If I'm okay? No of course I'm not okay. My daughter tried to kill herself 2 hours ago. And now she's awake and you two are screaming at each other. OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY!'

'Alex? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. I'm sorry! It's just I don't know what to do! Do you want to get to know me or not? Because if you won't I get it! I just barge in into your life, without warning. And I would understand. Don't feel pressure.' Melissa says, in tears and shocked of seeing Alex like that.

'Of course I want to get to know you! You're my daughter! I love you! I know I didn't show it by giving you away. But I had no choice! And I still hate myself for it! I do, I swear! It's just! Please! Both of you stop fighting, and please Melissa don't act like I'm some sort of idiot! And Olivia, I know how to speak. And if she don't want me as her mother I understand! You don't have to force me on her! She's 18! If she doesn't want me here! She can say. You don't have to scream at her that I'm her mother! Because I'm not! At least I wasn't. I want to be like a mother to her, of course I want to, but if she doesn't want to see me as her mother… I understand! So both of you stop!' Alex screams, and right after that she passes out.

'Alex? Alex honey? Wake up, sweetie! I NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE! Melissa get a doctor, just press a button or something!' Melissa tries to get out of bed but is still attached by a tube. 'PRESS A BUTTON, you can't get out of bed yet! What would the doctor think if you fell on the floor as well. That I did this! I don't want to have to explain that Alex passed out because we were screaming at each other and that you went out of bed to get help and passed out as well because you weren't fit enough to get out of bed and stand on your legs. PRESS THAT BUTTON!'

'Woww! Relax! Sorry! I already pressed the button! RELAX!'

'STOP SCREAMING AT ME!'

'YOU STOP SCREAMING AT ME!'

'Excuse me? What the hell is going on here? Miss, wake up. What's her name?'

'Alex. Her name is Alex. Wake up sweetie, please?'

'MOM? Please wake up! Olivia! MAKE HER WAKE UP!'

'STOP SCREAMING! And I guess your name is Olivia.' Olivia nods. 'Well, Olivia. Don't even think about screaming back at her! Just don't!'

'I'm sorry! I'm doing the best I can Melissa, I do!'

'Olivia? Liv? What happened?' Alex asks when she wakes up.

'You passed out, I was screaming at Melissa, and Melissa was screaming back, and you got mad at screamed at both of us and passed out.'

'Yeah, okay, I remember now.'

'I'm sorry Olivia, I won't scream at you again. Sorry.'

'No, I should be the one apologizing. Sorry Melissa! I was just caught up in the moment I guess. Sorry.'

'So nurse, how is she doing? Can she come home with us?'

'Uhm, I don't know, I'll ask the doctor.'

After the nurse left, there's a awkward silence. Alex is the first one to break it.

'Melissa, do you have a place to stay tonight?'

'No. But my mom left me money after her dead, I'll get that in a few weeks, and I had a job in Holland, so I have money. I'll just book a room in a hotel.'

'Don't be silly, you come with me, and you too Liv, I can use your company!'

'Okay, I'll come too! But first we need the doc's permission for you to come! Maybe you have to stay tonight.' Olivia tells Melissa.

'you think that's possible? Do I have to stay? I don't want to stay here! I want to get in a normal bed and get a lot of sleep!'

'You can! You don't have to stay tonight, go home, get some sleep. You can call me anytime if something is wrong, okay?'

'Really? Thank you doctor.' Melissa says with a huge grin on her face.

'So, let's go than.' Alex says while she looks at Olivia. 'You're coming?'

'Yeah, sure. Let's go!'

Alex's apartment 5 PM

'So what do you guys want to eat?' Olivia asks while they walk in to Alex's apartment.

'Anything, I really don't care what to eat, anything would be fine, even spinach is good. Oh btw, I don't like spinach, but right now, I can eat everything!' Melissa says, feeling at home already.

'Pizza then?' Olivia asks smiling at Melissa.

'Great! One with extra cheese please.'

'what about you, Alex? One with salami? Alex? Someone in there?' Olivia asks Alex who's very deep in thoughts.

'Uhm, sorry, what?' Alex says brought back from her thoughts.

'If you would like a pizza with salami?'

'No, I just want to go to bed, I'm not feeling very well, sorry Melissa. Olivia can show you the guest room I guess. I changed the bed a few days ago, and nobody has slept in it since then, so… You can sleep in it. Oh God…' Alex says while she runs to the bathroom. A lot of barfing sounds coming out of there. Olivia follows Alex and keeps her hair up.

'Oh my god, this is my fault. I can't stay, I'm going to a hotel, I can't do this. I can't. Sorry Alex, sorry Olivia, I have to go.' Melissa says while she runs to the front door.

'Melissa wait, don't go! Get back in here! MELISSA! Sorry Alex, I have to get her. I'll be right back.' Olivia says while she starts running after Melissa. Melissa is waiting on the elevator when she sees Olivia. She looks around and sees the staircase. But before she can open the door that leads her there Olivia grasps her arm.

'LET GO OF ME!' Melissa screams while she tries to get rid of Olivia's grip. 'I can't let you leave, you know that. Why are you running away? Alex didn't get sick because of you. She just had a really tough day. I think it's just stress. Please come back in, we can talk and after that you can always leave, okay? Please?'

'I can't go back in there. I messed up her life enough, first by being born, and today I came back out of nowhere, and then I took those pills and now she's puking because of me! I CANNOT GO BACK IN THERE! So let go of me!'

'Please Melissa, listen to Olivia, come back in, stay tonight. We can talk tomorrow, okay? And if you still want to leave than, you can leave, we won't stop you then, I didn't throw up because of you, I've been feeling sick for a very long time, it just had to come out. I feel much better now, please come in.'

Melissa is looking at Olivia and then back at Alex. 'Are you sure you want me to come back in?'

'Would I say that I want you to, if I didn't want you to?'

'I don't know. But I don't know anything anymore.' Melissa says while she starts crying and also starts walking back to Alex's apartment. Behind her she hears a sigh of relief. Olivia also starts to walk back to the apartment.

Back in the apartment Alex sits down on the couch and Melissa is sitting down on the chair facing it.

'Shall I make some thee? Or do you want something else? Coffee? A beer? Wine?' Olivia asks from the kitchen.

'thee please and an aspirin!' Alex shouts from the couch.

'Are you okay? God I'm exhausted! Is it okay if I just go to bed?' Melissa asks looking concerned at Alex.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Go to bed. We all will be better tomorrow morning. Sleep well.'

'Thanks, you too for later. Good night Olivia!'

'Uhm, yeah, sleep well!' Olivia shouts from the kitchen.

A few moments later Olivia walks back into the room with two steaming cups with thee. 'Here, it will make you feel better I hope.'

'You think? My daughter is sleeping in the next room. I mean… My daughter… Can you believe that? After she was taken away, every morning I would wake up asking myself how she was doing, if she was loved by her family. Where on earth she would live, if she had a boyfriend, if she had good grates at school. I went to bed every night with the same questions. And now… She's here. Her whole family gone… travelled around the world to find me. And what am I doing? I pass out, I make her feel miserable, make her want to kill herself, letting her walk out of the apartment and make you stop her, not me… No… I was too busy getting my breakfast in the toilet. And after you get her back in the apartment she goes to bed, I can't even get her to talk to me. I don't even know what to say to her. What if I'm losing her again? I can't deal with that! I just can't! I don't know what to do anymore. What if I push her away even more? I never should have given her up! NEVER!' Alex talks and talks, while tears fill up her eyes.

'Come here, take a deep breath, come here baby, shhh.. It's all gonna be okay. Shhh, It's gonna be okay!' Olivia says while she wraps her arms around Alex and tries to calm her down. 'Shhh, it's okay, shhh…' she says while she sways Alex back and forth like a little kid.

Alex crawls into Olivia arms a little bit more and feels her body relax. The crying makes her feel tiered and before she or Olivia know it she falls asleep. And the flashbacks begin. In her dreams she sees it all happen to her again. Getting knocked up, telling her parents, telling her friends at school, telling the baby's father, getting bigger, getting into labour, having that screaming tiny person coming out of her, her mom screaming that she should let go of the baby, the nurse taking the baby away from her, the tears from losing her baby, it all comes back.

'Alex? Wake up honey, you're having a bad dream! Wake up, sweetie, Alex?' Olivia tries to wake the screaming Alex.

'What the hell is going on? Why is she screaming like that?' Melissa asks running out of the guestroom. 'Olivia? What is going on? What are you doing to her?'

'GIVE ME MY BABY BACK!' Alex screams when she finally wakes up, looking confused around the room, seeing Olivia staring scared at her. And seeing Melissa looking terrified on the other side of the room.

'I'm here mom, I'm here!' Melissa says while she walks to the couch and hugs her mother. 'I'm here! I'm not going anywhere!'

All three women are crying now. Alex because of her bad dreams, Olivia because of seeing Alex like that and Melissa because of everything that happened the last few weeks.

An half an hour later Olivia gets off of the couch and wipe away the last few tears. 'I think it's time for bed now. Come on, Alex.' Melissa has already fallen asleep on the couch.

'Shall we take her to the guestroom? Or shall we let her stay here? She looks so sweet, so innocent, why did all these things had to happen to her, Olivia? Why?'

'I don't know Alex, but I think it's best if we let her stay on the couch. She might wake up if we move her. So let her stay here, I'll go to my own apartment and crash there, I planned to sleep on the couch, but that place is taken. So, I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?'

'Can you stay? Please? You can sleep on my bed, it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before. You know, when my nieces and nephews stayed and you had to many drinks to drive home. You remember it don't you? Just stay, please!'

'I remember. If you want me to stay, I'll stay! But we really need to go to bed now, I'm so tired, what time is it anyway?' Olivia asks while searching for something that can tell her what time it is.

'Uhm, it's eight thirty, very early! I feel like I've been awake for several days. And it hasn't even been 15 hours! Let's go to bed!' Alex says before taking Olivia's hand and leading her to the master bedroom.