Uh...hi.

Oh dear lord what have I done. I'm writing Looney Tunes fanfics the hell is wrong with me

Just enjoy I guess. o3o

He wondered sometimes how he'd got there.

Bright lights blinded him as he walked into the green room, he blinked, desperately trying to adjust and failing miserably. He could see various props scattered around the room, fake rayguns and disintegration beams that in actual life did nothing save from making an odd poofy noise. There were boxes too, full of costumes; Protectorate garb, Martian military skirts (he would normally find this quite racist but he had to admit it was quite accurate) and other miscellaneous bits, like gold coloured bras and Little Bo Peep dresses and other useless and wonderful things.

All in all, Marvin couldn't help thinking that he had it pretty good here.

He could see his friends standing awkwardly by one of the backdrops (Oh hell he was late, Kate was going to kill him) and he waved at them guiltily before running up and joining them. Among them was Elmer Fudd, the guy was a nervous wreck about his one shot role and was asking loads of questions to the point where Marvin felt like shooting him.

"Mr Martian, exactly what time do you call this?"

Oh hell, Kate had found him.

Marvin shrugged again. "I'm sorry."

She jokingly hit him around the head with her clipboard. "Make sure it doesn't happen again." But she was smiling, and it didn't look like she was about to kill him any time soon.

"Now, now that we're all here," Everyone looked at Marvin, who looked down, "I'd like it if you could improve on what you did yesterday, being that we had to leave early." It was something about a disaster in the cafeteria which somehow meant that everyone needed to be evicted. Marvin wasn't sure why, he was too concerned with Elmer Fudd repeatedly asking if this happened often. The former had said no about four times and had been very irritated by the end of it.

He was jogged out of his thoughts by the feeling of someone pulling his arm. Upon closer inspection (i.e., looking up) that someone turned out to be Daffy Duck. Marvin wasn't entirely sure Daffy was trustable, and he certainly wasn't clever, but there was something likeable about him. He didn't know what.

"Hey Buthter." he lisped. "You're with uth."

"I know." Marvin muttered, following him. "I don't have short term memory loss, you know."

Daffy laughed, and even though he wasn't joking, Marvin laughed with him. Just to be polite, after all. That had become part of his image for some reason. Which was all good apart from the annoying gophers that kept following him around.

"Eh..A-Apparently we n-need to i...i..eh-b-eh-eh improvise this part." The one thing about Porky Pig that Marvin couldn't stand was the stutter, but he supposed it was a nervous habit that he had to live with.

"Ah, improvithation. I love improvithation." Daffy's smile disappeared. "Uh...what ith improvithation?"

Marvin sighed. "Basically we have to make it up."

A pause.

"...I knew that."

Well obviously you didn't, Marvin thought to himself, and pulled out his gun.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was going very well.

One thing he liked about his co-stars was their abundance of imagination. Most of it had been Daffy.

"And there could be a treaty! Like the...the-the-the...Finderth Keeperth Treaty! That would be hilariouth! Oh, and jetpackth! We need jetpackth!"

He got jetpacks.

As Daffy flew through the air (wires were wonderful things) Marvin stepped back, taking a moment to admire his incredible acting skills before Daffy's hand came down and unceremoniously grabbed his ankle.

And suddenly everything stopped.

Memories. Memories were flashing through his mind, painful images of a small boy (he could only have been one or two, he was still in diapers for gods sake) being held by his ankle, shaken, as he screamed and cried and suddenly Marvin hit out.

"No!"

It was meant to be a scream but it came out as more of a gasp.

Daffy didn't look like he was going to stop any time soon. "What's the matter Marcia?" he teased. "Afraid of heights?"

Actually, he was.

He wasn't aware of what he was saying; hell, if any of it made sense. "My father once dangled me off a balcony to impresspaparazziand-!"

The last few syllables came out as a sobbing garbled mess.

"Aww." Daffy was still mocking him and it hurt. "Poor little pipsqueak." He let go of Marvin's ankle and the latter screamed before control and the grip was regained.

Daffy smirked. "Whoops."

Part of Marvin knew that Daffy was still in character and thus thought it was all an act. But it still felt like he was being stabbed multiple times through the heart.

Finally his prayers were answered. "Cut! Stopstopstop~"

Marvin was put down, and he desperately tried to regain sanity. It took him a while before he realised Kate was staring at him.

She had this big smile on her face. "Brilliant, guys. That was brilliant! And wow Marvin, I like that character ark for X2...whoa...his could add a whole new angle to the climbing-the-beacon thing...God I love you man."

She didn't seem to even notice the tears running down his face as she kissed Marvin on the forehead before running off, yelling another thank-you.

Daffy returned to normal. "I agree with the lady, that wath pretty thwell..." He trailed off as he realised the state Marvin was in. "Uh...you are okay, right? Cuth...I...That wath thome amathing acting."

"Acting?!" Marvin automatically spluttered, before realising what he'd just said and looking at Daffy, who seemed genuinely shocked.

Marvin desperately tried to get a sound out of his mouth.

"I...I wasn't..."

And suddenly it was too much to bear and he ran, frantically making for the door and knocking Elmer into Porky as he did so.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

He could hear his trainers tapping out a rhythm as he sprinted down the corridor.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

Why didn't he smile? Laugh it off? Pretend he was acting? Now the whole room knew personal things about him, they'd seen him cry...they'd seen him cry. They were probably laughing at him right now, about how pathetic he was, a crybaby. He never should've tried for this job, he never should've tried for the military, he never should've tried anything...

Suppressing a sob, he practically fell through the doors of the men's bathrooms, sliding across the floor and landing against the big, ornate mirror that was nailed to the wall. He lost it then, and broke down against his reflection, curling up and hugging his knees.

Stupid.

Pathetic.

Weak.

Useless.

Pathetic...

...Footsteps?

Marvin didn't bother to look up. He just continued to sob and hug his knees, hoping whoever it was would just go. He heard someone clearing their throat, then...

"My parentth...weren't the nithetht people either."

Marvin still didn't look up. "I bet they n-never dangled you off a balcony."

"Well no, they weren't that harsh." A pause, and Daffy sat next to Marvin, putting an arm around him awkwardly. "Jutht...uh, tryna make ya feel better."

Marvin sniffled.

"I never wanted to be an actor, funnily enough," Daffy continued. "I wanted to be a fire-fighter."

Now Marvin looked up. "A...a firefighter?"

"Yeth, a firefighter. Don't laugh."

"I'm not laughing. D-Do carry on."

"My father forthed me into it. Acting, that ith, not fire-fighting. And I wath jutht tho dethperate to impreth him." a sigh. "Funnily enough I don't think I'd be that good at firefighting, while I'm a pretty good actor if I do thay tho mythelf." He looked at Marvin. "But thith ithn't about me. Thith ith about you, you poor pipthqueak." Daffy sighed. "If I'd known, I never woulda thuggethted the jetpackth."

At some point during this monologue Marvin had buried his head in his hands. "It's okay." he mumbled into them. "I think I can manage it."

"...Oh come here." And Daffy pulled Marvin into his arms.

The latter lost control again, and clutched his friend's shoulder as he sobbed. He could feel Daffy gently patting his back, and he completely lost it and broke down again.

It was strange, he really wasn't that much of a clingy person; when Daffy had suggested an all-cast group hug not five weeks ago he'd been repulsed by the very idea...though that might have been more the fact that the actor playing Star Johnson was making bisexual bedroom eyes at him.

Anyway, he wasn't that clingy. But this felt nice. True, he hadn't done this for about fifteen years. But it felt good. He gasped, desperately trying to get more air and somewhat failing, his arms still wrapped around Daffy's neck and his head on the others shoulder.

"Hey hey hey. Needy Gonthaleth." Daffy patted his back again. "You okay now?"

Marvin unwrapped his arms but left his head where it was. "Sort of."

A few moments passed, before he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Thank you,"

An awkward silence.

"...What elthe did he do?"

Marvin shrugged. "A lot. I left home at fourteen."

"Ah."

"I'd been promised to the military anyway. I just came four years earlier." He leant against the mirror again. "It was so stupid. I did the stupidest things."

"Like what?"

"Well, I tried to blow up the Earth about ten times."

Daffy looked incredulous. "Why?"

Marvin shrugged again. "It was blocking my view of Venus."

"...Wath?"

"Well one day I realised that blowing up the Earth would be impossible, so I just bought myself a better telescope, I wish I'd done that earlier, it would've saved me a lot of humiliation." Marvin sighed and rested his head against Daffy's shoulder again. "A lot of humiliation."

"...Elaborate?"

"Well...uh..." Marvin trailed off, not sure he wanted to divulge such information. "While on my, ahem, travels, I met a rather...uh...contrary Earth creature who kept sabotaging my plans."

"Uh...huh."

"And...well, a lot of things happened. Really embarrassing things. I never want to see a carrot again."

Daffy's facial expression had abruptly changed, and he pushed Marvin off his shoulder. "Wait, did you thay carrot?"

Marvin's expression was that of confusion. "...Yes."

"Did thith "Earth Creature" have a name?"

"Yes. He told my his name was Bugs Bunny." Marvin said the words like he was spitting out particularly bad-tasting mouthwash.

Daffy was silent for a moment. Then he said "Bugth Bunny."

Marvin rested his head again. "...You know him?"

"Yeah...I've known him for a long time." He laughed. "He'th thtarted on you too?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like I said, I've known him for a long time. He'th one of my betht friendth, actually. But that doesthn't mean he ithn't a jerk." He looked down. "Tho...uh...what did he do to you?"

"Well...um..." Marvin trailed off. "It's...all quite embarrassing really. Well...The first time we met...I'd just come to earth, to bring back an Earthling for studying and such."

"Uh-huh. Then what?"

"I chose Bugs. You can probably guess."

"...Ah."

Marvin looked down. "Yeah. He tied me up in a straightjacket and tried to sell my flying saucer."

"Doesthn't sound very nice. Anything else?"

"There was a lot actually." A pause, as Marvin dredged the painful memory from the back of his mind. (He had no idea why he was confiding such a thing to his co-star, he just needed to let it out somehow.)

"I...I tried adopting an abominable snowman once..."

Daffy noticeably cringed. "I think I know where thith ith going."

"Oh, I'm not sure you do." Marvin fiddled with his hands a little. "It's a...ah, very delicate memory."

A pause.

"And kind of painful-"

"It'th okay," interjected Daffy. "He thpanked me too."

Marvin looked up. There was an awkward pause.

"...when?"

"A long time ago."

"Well, I suppose that explains some things."

"Like?"

"When Bugs saw the snowman he said, "not again". I've always wondered about that." He looked back down. "W-What else did he do to you?"

"Who, Bugthy?"

"No, Hugo. The snowman."

"Didn't know he had a name. Well, uh, nothing much. He melted eventually tho...I got a bit wet."

"...that's it?" And Daffy couldn't help noticing the incredulous expression on Marvin's face.

"Yeah. Why?"

"...Oh." Marvin looked down again. "I got trapped inside a watch."

"Ah."

"It was more then "Ah". It was extremely claustrophobic and overall unpleasant." A pause. "And I was the one who gave him the name."

"Any particular reason?"

"Well I couldn't keep calling him Snowman. That would be rude." Marvin sat up again, feeling vaguely yoyoesque, and on a sudden thought looked at his watch. "Welp. We should go, we'll be late."

Daffy looked over his shoulder and welped too. "Wow, we've been here for about half an hour."

A pause.

"Marvin?"

"Yes?"

"This heights thing you have...are you going to be ok? I mean, we could change the improv-"

"Daffy."

"-or we could get you a stunt double. I'm sure there'th some gullible Martian kid desthperate to get into acting somewhere-"

"Daffy."

"What?"

"I'll be fine. Don't worry."

OooOoOoOoOoOo

Daffy Duck was a very persistent man. Well, duck.

Marvin spent the next few days sitting in a box with a microphone, looking at the stunt double (who was apparently named Tomek) being thrown around on wires a lot.

Being that Marvin had a rather distinctive accent, they'd decided he was going to say the lines and Tomek the stunt double was going to lip sync them.

It wasn't something they usually did, as Kate told him about five times. It was a big change.

But then, he thought, glancing at the figure of his friend (did he honestly call anyone that?) across the room, he was getting used to that.

Flames will be used to fuel my spaceship o3o