I was listening to my favorite album by Evenescence and this song made me think of my previous fanfic including Hermione and Bella- so I'm hoping to become inspired to write again - this is also slightly cathartic. Let me know what you think. I'd suggest listening to the song "Haunted" By Evanescence whilst or before reading this fic. I had it on repeat whilst writing.
Fic takes place after Order of the Phoenix and before HBP.
Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
(Bellatrix POV)
I am awoken by the sound of iron being scrapped along stone. The door to my prison has been opened; I assume the Dementors have been sent to punish me again. So I keep my eyes closed, seeing them acknowledges their presence. Cold no longer numbs my already frozen and limp body; I let the kiss be performed and allow it to turn me to nothing. This time however, I hear a whisper implemented at a slow fathomable rate: "Bellatrix, Bellatrix, Bellatrix" again and again it sought to soothe me and haunt me and for the first time, I felt something. I then awoke again, this time I was actually awake and in my bed at Malfoy Manor. I realise that finally I know the reason why I held onto my life for thirteen years when I could have just slit my own throat with the sharp stone that I hid in the wall. I didn't hold on for my lord, it was for a girl: a mudblood in fact. Hermione Granger. I think I said it out loud many times that night. I was surprised that her name didn't taste dirty on my tongue.
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there
Somehow I decide to visit you at Hogwarts, it's your 6th year and it is 3am, you are probably tucked up in your ghastly Gryffindor bedspread. Probably dreaming about boys and exams and other useless affairs. Yet still, I visit you. My enchanted cloak repels the rain from my black unruly curls as I walk purposefully unseen through Hogsmead. I remember the rules somehow. No Apparating in or from Hogwarts: a ridiculous rule to keep us pure bloods from emancipating ourselves from the absurdities of the blood traitors purging our school. Uneducated fools. Although I still believe in these correct means of life, I have a new purpose now. To purge myself from thoughts of you and my own emptiness. With this, I conjure a skilful admittance charm and enter the school grounds. I've visited you before, inside the shadows. I can see you from behind a curtain, which I make transparent for my own means. I like to watch you sleep. You're always in the same place and I'm always here.
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
(Hermione POV)
She could no longer focus on her life. She hadn't read a book in weeks, Harry and Ron had given up asking her about what was the matter and she had barely been able to eat. People were beginning to leave her and she found herself okay with that, although even feeling okay meant nothing these days. It was a gift just to be able to retire for bed at night. However even her dreams were warped and demented. She dreamt of ice and prophecies and doors with no destinations and mechanical cackles. There was no longer any colour to her dreams, there was only black. They were filled with darkness. A Bellatrix Black and the way the lines on her neck wrapped perfectly from one side of it to another whilst childlike laughter exited from it and caused it to fluctuate. During these dreams Hermione always felt on edge, like she was being watched and these dreams felt too real. Hermione would wake covered in sweat, as if she had made love the night before and fell asleep from exhausted. Sometimes in her dreams the doors would lead somewhere. To a torture chamber or maybe a room made entirely of polished black marble and where Bellatrix would undoubtedly be waiting for her. Bellatrix would stare into her eyes and somehow cause Hermione to feel drawn towards her. Hermione would comply with this need to reach her. The need in Bellatrix made her feel wanted and that's all she needed in these dreams. As Bellatrix made Hermione hers again and again; Hermione screams of pleasure but mostly pain were heard less and less as Bellatrix continued to drag her from the light to the darkness.
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down
The dreams scared her. Yet she still craved them more than anything else in her life. She wanted to feel again. She feared Bellatrix but after a time she became accustomed with hearing Bellatrix's voice talk inside her head. She had even started referring to her as "Her Bella". Her Bella would tell her to excuse herself during lesson to enter the girl's bathroom and please herself with her legs spread wide on the toilet seat to the sounds of Bella's gentle coaxing and rough thrusts in her mind. Some days her need would become so unbearable, Hermione would press her own wand to her neck and cast multiple pleasure and pain curses at herself. Sometimes she would pick between the two and fall to her knees and writhe in pleasure even more. She lusted and eventually found herself falling in love with Her Bella. But she wasn't the real Bellatrix. She could never fall for the watching monster lurking in every shadow.
Hunting you, I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head
(Bellatrix POV)
My Muddy. That's what I've started to call you. I invade your mind and between your legs at night. I plant myself in your brain and stimulate all of your senses, in your dreams and whilst you lie still in your bed. Innocent red sheets scrunched at our feet. You lie still because I tell you so, whispering softly in your ear whilst I fuck you with three fingers until you climax with sweat dripping from your forehead into your ears that I then lick away if I feel generous. Tasting you feels like I am eating something delicious for the first time in months. I am the monster yet you are the hunted and I can smell you before I even have my way with you. I like to suggest sexual situations to you in your dreams, I love watching you touch yourself whilst you think of me. Silencing the space around us in your 4-poster bed, I touch myself whilst straddling your sleeping form and I allow your dreams to enter mine. I can feel your heart in my head. How I've made you love me. This can never stop. I'm addicted to how alive I feel. My muddy.
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me, watching me
(NO POV)
Hermione pretended to fall asleep once. She had brewed a fake sleep-inducing potion and took it before she turned in for the evening. One of the effects of the potion was also the ability to stay awake until you actually wanted to sleep, then you are allowed to fall asleep properly. Hermione rested and waited and eventually Bellatrix came to her side from the shadows. Welcome back Hermione mentally joked. She wanted to watch Bella fuck her this time. She wanted to enjoy her properly. The older witch cast her usual charms and straddled the girl's waist. The movement seemed so delicate yet entirely rough and un-caring. As if Hermione were a prized stallion that needed to win first place in a race to fully serve her rider. Bellatrix seemed eager tonight. Hermione had been perfecting the act of being a willing and careful Legilimens. She had taken might pride in researching the minds state in dreams and how easily the mind can be tampered with when unguarded. She thought of the current situation and tried to reflect the scene into my dream, hoping Bellatrix would fall for it. A presence delved into her mind. Hermione had created a scenario to play at this exact moment. She showed Her Bella how she would open her eyes and tug on the black curls, using her built up strength to switch positions with Her Bella and look down at her with lust burning light into the shadow on the face bellow her. The real Bellatrix seemed to be totally startled by this vision until she realised that Her Muddy was just creating a new scenario that she could manipulate to her own advantage, albeit she was somewhat surprised at the mudblood's skill. At that moment, Hermione actually woke from her pretend sleep and pulled Bellatrix below her in the way she had just shown her. Hermione lent down and whispers to the dark witch underneath her.
"My Bella. You are a complete BITCH! You raped me, I know you did and you made me enjoy it! You've made me love you and I despise you for it. But I know something you don't. I've made you love me too." Bellatrix still looks surprised but she eventually guessed the trick that the mudblood was trying to play on her.
"I will make you suffer for tricking me like this. It's unacceptable, FILTHY mudblood!"
"Don't call me that. I want you to call me "Your Muddy" when I fuck you, Bellatrix."
And she made Her Bella scream it until the term of endearment was shortened to simply "Yours".
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you... loving you
I won't let you pull me down