Another Love Story
I didn't know exactly why I was drawn to him of all cats. There were tons of other possible cats I could moon over, many without a troublesome reputation and a knack for causing trouble everywhere he went. It was a gift, he would tell me, anytime I happened to bump into him during one of his many pranks. Though, although many cats only saw him for what he was- a trickster; a troublesome warrior who could easily have the attitude of a kit- but I saw deep down, past all the devilish smirks, witty comments, and sarcasm that he was a good cat.
I knew I was drifting off, so to stop myself from farfetched daydreaming, I directed my gaze to the half-eaten mouse at my paws. Yet, no matter what I did, I couldn't push away those brilliant, leaf green eyes of his, the mischievous glimmer that was ever present in his gaze. They were different from many green eyes his clanmates possessed. When light seemed to hit them, I could've sworn there were flecks of gold in them, like the golden colour leaves turned during leaf fall.
"Hiya Nightflame!" I jumped at the playful voice, snapping me out of my fantasy. "Oops, didn't mean to scare ya," the cat purred and I practically melted at the sound of his voice. Looking up slowly, I saw a wide, almost devilish smirk that belonged to none other than Sunwing.
"Oh, h-hey." I cursed myself silently for the stutter. Why in StarClan's name did this tom have to make me so nervous? Swallowing, I gathered some courage before continuing. "It's fine, I was just thinking."
"What were you thinking of?" The tom sat down across from me, curiosity present in his voice.
Foxdung! What would I say? Quickly scanning the clearing, my eyes fell on the large prey pile. Perfect! "I was just thinking of how great this new leaf has been," I replied, trying to sound casual rather than nervous. Sunwing seemed to believe me when he nodded in agreement.
"Ya, the prey has basically been leaping straight into our paws!" He exclaimed and I mutely nodded, trying to avoid anything embarrassing happening with him. "Hey, Foxmist is busy and since I need another cat on my border patrol, whatcha say?"
Instantly, there was a fluttered in my chest and I felt my heart soar. He was asking me to join his border patrol! "Sure!" I responded and hoped that I didn't sound too eager or desperate.
"Great! I can't stand being stuck on a patrol with my brother and Lilypaw," he meowed before changing his tone to mimic his Redflame. "Sunwing, stop your kit-like behaviour and start acting like a warrior than a four moon old kit! Any of the other clan cats would never guess you were the deputy's kit!"
I couldn't help but laugh as he mimicked his brother perfectly. Redflame was one of the most stuck up warriors in all of Shadowclan and making him the deputy's son just added to his large ego. Soon Sunwing joined in in the laughter, and before we knew it, the two of were struggling to breath, wheezing.
"Sunwing! Can you tone it down before my ears fall off?" Said warrior looked up to find his other littermate staring down at the two of them.
"I always wondered what you would like if you had no ears bro," Sunwing said teasingly and I swallowed back my laughter, not wanting to get in trouble with Sunwing's other brother, Fogstrike. He was more easy going than Redflame, encouraging- and sometimes joining- Sunwing in his pranks but had a dangerous temper that everyone knew to stay clear of.
"Well, if you want to see what an earless cat looks like, I would be more than glad to claw off yours," Fogstrike meowed jokingly. I began to hesitantly shrink back, not wanting to be part of this argument, playful or not.
"You know, we should go. Redflame is probably wondering where we are." The words left my mouth, a bit quieter than how I usually spoke but Sunwing seemed to understand.
"Fine," he groaned over dramatically but listened as we padded over to where Redflame and Lilypaw had been waiting. I already knew what would happen during most of the patrol so I allowed myself to daydream once more, not eager to hear the constant bickering between the two brothers.
The deeper we got into the pine territory, the more I found myself gazing at Sunwing. His golden pelt was dappled from the rays of sunlight that had successfully broken through the pine trees. He was lithe, unlike his broad shouldered father and had a long plumy tail that would twitch if impatient or angry with someone (who usually was Redflame or his father). It hurt me that he may never reciprocate my feelings. With a quiet sigh, I pulled my blue eyes away from him, trying to distract myself from anything but him. To remove the hurt that came with never having Sunwing by my side, ever.
"I just want you to be happy, Nightpaw. Find a mate and have kits of your own," Berryheart murmured lovingly. "I want you and your sister to be happy."
I wanted to smile, tell her I would follow her words but I knew deep down, this secret that weighed down on me would make it harder to keep to my mother's promise. She never knew. I never had the gut to say the truth to her and only observant Morningpaw, my sister, was able to figure out the truth.
"I love you and I know." Her final words struck hard, air escaping my lungs.
"W-What? Mom?" I let out a whimper, fiercely shaking the limp she-cat as Morningpaw sobbed beside me. She knew, but how? "M-Mom? You k-knew w-w-what?"
"Do you think I act like a kit?"
The words snapped me out of my memories and I blinked back to reality, only to find both Sunwing and Redflame looking at me. I swallowed, hesitant.
"See, Nightflame agrees with me," Redflame snorted and Sunwing glared at his brother.
"I don't think you act like a kit, Sunwing," I replied, not wanting him to think I was on Redflame's side. "You act more like an apprentice," I purr with a smile and he gives me a shocked look.
"Why…how dare you Nightflame! I thought we were best friends!" he wailed over dramatically, pretending to be hurt and his actions only made Redflame roll his amber eyes.
"Let's just finish this patrol already." He sped up his pace, forcing the three of us to hurry to not be left behind.
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We were finally back at camp and I was glad. It was almost unbearable, being so close to Sunwing yet the tom had no clue about my feelings directed towards him. With a sigh, I padded over to my sister and Specklefoot were sitting. The two she-cats looked up when I arrived, smiling warmly at me.
"Hey Nightflame!" Specklefoot purred, beckoning me to sit with them. Her smile then turned to a frown as her amber eyes must've caught the slight sadness in my blue eyes. "What's wrong?"
Morningbird gave a sad smile before replying, "It's him, isn't it?" Normally, I would hiss at her to not mention it in the clearing, especially when preying ears were near but today I was just too hurt. With a solemn nod, I plopped down between the two of them.
"Is my sadness obvious?" I asked and they both meowed "yes."
Specklefoot rested her tail on my shoulder, understanding look in her eyes. "Has my brother still not clued in yet?" She knew about my secret along with my sister, after seeing the glances I gave to her littermate and putting two-and-two together.
"He doesn't like me Specklefoot, it obvious. StarClan destined for me to never be happy in life," I said with defeat, head resting on my black paws. "It's no use pretending things will get better."
"No use? No use?" Morningbird snarled, blue eyes narrowing. "Stop talking like that, now! Do not give up on yourself Nightflame! And I better never hear you say that again or StarClan help me, you'll wish-"
"He'll wish what?" I mentally groaned as I felt my heart leap in my chest. Why now, of all times? Why did he just have to show up?
"He's been beating himself up about the thrush he nearly caught yesterday but messed up at the last second," Specklefoot lied and to be honest, it scared me how easily all four of Pinefang's kits could lie without anyone catching on.
"Aww, it's okay Night! It was just a teeny thrush. Nothing to go hating yourself about," he meowed, settling down beside me and I felt tingles as his fur brushed up against mine. The kind smile of his seemed to lighten my mood- only slightly- but then the truth crawled back into my brain.
"Thanks Sunwing," I murmured, lifting up my head.
"Any time! Besides, you are my best friend. I couldn't stand to see you unhappy."
I wanted to yell at him that he was hurting me, but I kept quiet. Unless he loved me back, I would never admit it. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and making things awkward as well as leave it open for teasing and torture by my fellow clanmates.
"How was the patrol with Redflame?" Specklefoot asked, spitting out the name, Redflame like it was poison.
"Same old, same old. He was the same stuck up tabby with a large ego," Sunwing meowed cheerfully. Although Redflame was the favourite of their father, all three of his littermates hated him and I overheard Fogstrike when he was younger say, 'I'd rather sleep with a badger than be near Redflame.'
"Well, we will all know the day when the Dark Forest takes over when he starts acting nice," Specklefoot said teasingly and both Morningbird and Sunwing couldn't help but agree with the grey she-cat.
They continued to chat but I tuned them out, instead focusing more on Sunwing. I tried my best to not stare at him but it wasn't as easy as I though.
"Hey, I have an idea Nightflame." I looked at the golden furred tom, curious, not just at what his idea was, but also due to the fact I hadn't been paying attention. "Since you still seem a bit upset about the whole thrush thing, how about the two of us go hunting?" The moment the words escaped his jaws, he quickly added, "you know, to uh-"
"Sure." He stopped his nervous fumbling and coughed, getting to his paws. I followed him out of camp and back into the pine forest, heart pounding in my chest. Just the two of us, alone in the forest. Oh how I wished I knew if he loved me or not! Then this pain wouldn't be so difficult to manage!
I had been so busy lost in my own thoughts; I didn't realize that Sunwing had led us fairly deep into the marshy parts of the territory where very few cats actually dared to go. Thrushes didn't prefer marshes; they liked trees and the ThunderClan border. I tried to explain that to him but the green eyed tom only shook his head before coming to a stop.
"We both know my sister back there lied for you," he meowed in a serious tone- which he rarely used so once he did, you knew it wasn't something to joke about- and I felt my eyes grow wide.
But, how did he-
"How did I know?" he asked, answering my question. "Please, who do you think taught my sister how to lie and get away with certain things?" his joking tone had returned.
"Fine, okay?" I sighed, sitting down on the damp grass, "she lied about the whole thrush thing. Happy?" The last word I spat towards him and he seemed surprised by my anger but didn't flinch.
"What, or who, made you feel so heartbroken?" He was genuinely concerned, which only hurt me more. I refused to look at him, instead gazing at my black paws, pushing back the tears that threatened to spill. I could not tell him. I would not tell him!
"Please look at me Nightflame! I hate seeing my…my closest friend in so much pain," he was begging me, begging to know but I shook my head, stubborn. I had kept this secret for so long and was not going to reveal it to him unless I was sure it was the right choice.
"I'll claw the cat that did this to you." He tried to sound cheery but panic and worry could also he heard in his voice.
He cared about me. No, I reminded myself. He sees you as his closest friend, nothing more.
I flinched ever so slightly as he sat down beside me, our fur brushing. "I did this to you," he whispered, barely audible. "I did this, didn't I?"
He took my silence as a yes and used his tail to lift my chin up. "Hey, Nighty," he purred, green eyes gazing into my own blue ones. "I've noticed all the stares you give me, and I-"
"How did you know?" I rasped.
All he did was give me one of his signature smirks, tail entwining with mine. My whole body when ridged, heart racing and mind spinning. "I admit, I never expected you to be like me, but secretly I was glad, you know? Some of the weight lifted off my shoulders once I knew you liked me back."
"Wait, you like me? I thought-" I was shocked. Sunwing actually liked me? But the she-cat he was getting close to, Smokebreeze, everyone thought they would become mates.
"About me and Smokebreeze becoming mates?" he finished. "Eh, she was nice and all but it just didn't feel all that right."
I swallowed, heart practically jumping out my chest. I let out a purr as I nuzzled his neck, which only made his smile grow wider. Gathering up the courage, I finally said, "Sunwing, I love you."
"Me too Nightflame. I love you too."
And the two of us just sat there, tails entwined, gold fur meshing with black, and the heavy, choking weight gone from my shoulders. For so long I feared about being the only one, love rejected when the truth was, Sunwing was just as scared as I was to admit his true feelings. So, as we sat there, I remember how my mother wanted me to be happy and for the first time, I was. Any cat would wonder what I saw in him, the trickster tom with the golden pelt and leaf green eyes, the cat who caused trouble everywhere he went. The tom who was the son of the deputy and had three other littermates- one with an ego larger than all of ShadowClan, one who was only a bit more mature than his brother and a loving, kind sister. I saw a cat who understood me, cared about me and a cat who I knew would never leave my side.
I was Nightflame, a tom who loved another tom cat.
A/N: Plot twist! Yes, everyone, Nightflame is gay (likes other toms) and so is Sunwing. I actually had this idea from reading a Sabriel (Sam and Gabriel- Supernatural) Fanfic (can't remember which one!) but basically they both liked each other but didn't know the other reciprocated the same feelings. Props to anyone to realized that Sunwing has a personality similar to our beloved ArchAngel and pagan Trickster God Loki, Gabriel!
I also wrote this because I read over DeviantArt that recently; the US had passed a law about Gay Marriage being recognized and thought to myself, what better way to celebrate this achievement than to make a Warriors Fanfic than with two gay cats? "Warriors" has no same sex couples which disgusts me because we live in such a homophobic society and these people shouldn't be treated differently. They can't control who they like so why should we judge them? I don't judge people on their sexuality but rather on the good of their heart. Coming from an Aromantic (who has never been drawn sexually, never had a crush on someone ever, or aroused by either sex), we-being Gay, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Transgenders, Asexuals etc. are no different than a straight person.
We are just people and I wanted to dedicate this little one-shot to anyone who isn't a heterosexual, that I support you and see you as an equal :)
Also, this was written in first person so anyone at first glance would think Nightflame was a she-cat in love and by the end, learn that whether you love someone of the same sex (using gender is an improper term) or of a different sex, we are all the same.
I don't care about any hate I receive on this, telling me it's stupid, or "Warriors" can't have gay/ same sex couples because if you stopped being such a homophobic idiot and opened your eyes, you would realize the truth that all that matters is if you're happy. Whether it is guys, girls or even just close friends rather than a boyfriend/girlfriend that makes you happy, that's what matters. So even if I'm catholic and it goes against my beliefs (about one man and one woman) I don't give a crap. I support everyone of any sexuality.
-Grasswing