A/N: This will be a series of different one-shots I had written some time ago, but never had the guts to upload them… you will see why after you read the first story…

You can consider this something like behind-the-scene-material or something like that…

There will be much crap… so be warned and flames are accepted and expected…

To the first story: I wrote this in February or March… not sure, but it was my lame attempt on humor… it's weird and I don't really like it anymore, but maybe you will…

Anyway, enjoy and keep in mind not to take this story or the following too serious… you will be disappointed if you do… I'm just warning you…

Ok, enjoy the first chapter…

Disclaimer: Not mine!

5 Ways to Seduce a Raven

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Step One: Make her laugh

"Beast Boy, are you sure that this will work?" Robin asked unsure.

The green changeling rolled his eyes. "Of course it will work. I mean who can resist something like that? Girls love funny guys. Why do you think the ladies love me so much?"

"Uh Beast Boy, the only girl who ever liked you was Terra. And for most of the time your relationship with her was when she was a stone figure."

Growling loudly, Beast Boy said. "Please Rob, just do it."

Robin looked one last time at his green friend who was holding his thumps up and walked to the couch where the dark member of the Titans sat reading a book.

"Raven?"

Raven looked up from her book an impatient expression on her face."D-Do you want to hear a … joke?" he asked laughing nervously.

Raven raised her eyebrows. "Uh, yes?"

"Knock, Knock!"

Raven sighed loudly. "Who's there?"

"Who!"

"Who Who?"

"Is there an owl in here?"

Raven's right eye began to twitch slightly.

"Ok, wait, I've got a better one." Robin said laughing his head off.

"Knock, Knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Wendy. "

"Wendy Who?"

"Wendy Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbing' Along..."

Now Raven's left eye began to twitch as well.

"Or, this one …"

Two hours and hundredths of Knock, Knock-jokes later.

"Raven, believe me this one is great: Knock, K-"

By this time Raven eyes twitched uncontrollably and her whole body shivered.

"NO!" she screamed loudly and her eyes were glowing red rather than the usual white when she used her powers. She grew to an impossible height, at least three times as tall as Robin, and thick black tendrils shot toward him from under her cloak to grab him. Robin cried out in shock and fell off of the couch. Raven smiled viciously down at him before turning to her normal seize.

"Never. Tell. Me. Any. Jokes. Again."

"Ha, ha, my bad!" Robin stammered and watched Raven leaving the room.

Step two: Buy her a present

"Star, I'm not sure if she likes this present. Maybe I should-"

The red-haired alien-girl shook her head. "Believe me friend Robin, she will love this present. No one can resist such a beautiful present."

"But it's-"

"No dear friend, she will love it. Just give her that and she will love you forever." Starfire beamed and left Robin alone in front of Raven's door.

He knocked and the door was opened revealing Raven.

"What?" she asked clearly annoyed.

"I… I have a present for … you." He sputtered out hastily and held out a large box.

Raven looked at him for a moment and then took the box from him opening it, she saw …

"It's a … teddy bear." Raven stated shocked.

"Yeah."

"And it … it … it … is … p… p…p…" she tried to bring out the words but it sounded as she would choke on the words especially the last one.
She tried it again. "Pi ... pi … pi…" but at no avail she could bring out the word.

"Pink?" Robin helped her anticipating the danger. "Squeeze his belly." He said already knowing that he was dead.

Raven reluctantly squeezed the teddy bear's belly and a fountain of pink glitter and confetti bubbled out of the bear all over her face.

Robin laughed nervously and took some steps away from the dark sorceress. "So, do you like it?"

Raven's eyes were blazing red and the teddy bear flew at his head knocking him down and then it exploded like a volcano, leaving him covered with debris of the pink toy and glitter.

With a loud bang Raven's door was closed leaving a pink glittering and twinkling Boy Wonder on the floor.

Step three: Give her flowers

"Terra, not that I don't trust you. I mean, you were always so trustworthy. But women really do love flowers, right?"

The blonde earth-shifter nodded her head at her leader. "Yeah, they do."

"And Raven will love these flowers?"

"She has to be crazy if not."

"Ok." Robin said and walked to the kitchen where Raven was sitting at the table drinking her tea.

"Ehm, Raven?" he said timidly.

Raven looked up at him her eyes showing clearly her suspicious and anger.

"I wanted to give you something," as he saw her eyes turning in anger he added. "Don't worry it's not pink."

He pulled the bouquet of orchids from behind his back and held them under her nose. However, he began to panic as he saw her eyes winding and watering. Her mouth opened and she let out a loud …

"Hatchou!"

"Gesundheit!" he said.

"I- Hatchou!"

"God bless!"

"Am – Hatchou!"

"Gesundheit!"

"Allergic- Hatchou!"

"God Bless!"

"To- Hatchou!"

"Gesundheit!"

"Orchids- Hatchou, Hatchou, Hatchou!"

Robin's masked eyes grew larger than his open mouth and withdrew the flowers from Raven's nose before running away for his dear life from an overly angered half-demon.

Step 4: Prepare her dinner

"The best way to romance a woman is to cook her dinner. Believe me, women love men who are able to cook." Cyborg told his friend while helping him to cook an edible dinner. "And so will Raven."

"If you say so." Robin said.

"You can call her now and make sure that she eats from the steak. Women love steak. They got turned on from meat." The half human-hybrid whispered in his ears as Raven walked to the kitchen.

Robin looked at him unbelievingly but turned his attention to Raven while Cyborg discretely departed.

"Raven, I prepared a dinner for you – as an apology for the flowers earlier." He said to Raven and gestured her to take a place.

Sighing deeply, Raven sat down and a smiling Robin served her a steak with a cream-sauce.
Raven took a piece from the meat while Robin turned his back to her to open a bottle of sparkling cider with a corkscrew.

"You know, the only reason I told you these jokes-" he began to explain while Raven choked on a piece of meat.

"and gave you the teddy bear-"

Rave desperately tried to call his attention. She winked and coughed.

"and the flowers-"

Slowly, Raven turned white her hand on her neck.

"was-"

Robin finally turned around to look Raven into her amethyst eyes only to see her turning an interesting shade of blue and violet and choking and coughing.

He immediately ran behind her and helped her with the "Heimlich"- move. The piece of meat flew out of her mouth and landed in the salad bowl.

Robin stepped from behind Raven. "So, do you want to drink some cider?" he asked nervously swaying the bottle in front of her before once again running. He yelled and screamed for his dear life while being chased by a flying frying pan.

Step five: Just be yourself

"Raven?" A bruised and batted Boy Wonder called out for the dark empath who was sitting at the couch.

Raven growled. "No, I don't want hear a joke and no, I don't want any present or flowers from you and I as well don't want to eat any dinner."

Robin gulped. "Actually, I ... wanted to know if you wanttogoonadatewithme?"

Raven blinked and slowly stood up from the couch and positioned herself right in front of

Robin. "You want to go on date with me? After you bored me death with your stupid Knock-Knock-jokes and plastered me with p-p-p-pink glitter and made me have an allergic-reaction and if that all wasn't enough you almost sent me six feet under with your dinner, you ask me to go out with you?"

"Uuhhmm, yeah?" Robin choked out and prayed to God that this time, she won't hurt him so much.

"Ok."

Robin's jaw dropped and his eyebrows went to his forehead.

"Ok? You agreed?"

Raven shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, I did. So, let's go before I change my mind and decide to chase you around once more."


A/N: Ok, the ending sucked and the beginning and not the forget the middle… ok, the whole story sucked, but I warned you… so, tell me what you think and if I should continue this "story".

Do you want to read more of my crappy and cheesy and fluffy one-shots? Or should I forget the whole idea and go on with my life…? Tell me what you think…!

Last, but not least, a big, fat thank you and kudos or Cherry Jade for being the best beta on the world…

Alena