Disclaimer: All the characters, Hogwarts, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling and her publishers. I only own this monologue. I'm not trying to make any money off of it, so please do not sue me.
Nobody really can understand. I'm expected to be great. Expected to be doing things that ordinarily great wizards would only do, while I'm only a kid, still young, still learning. I'm saving the world, and I'm just a kid.
I live up to what they want. I've done more than most wizards do in their lives. But do they know how hard it is for me? How hard this burden of saving the world is to carry? Don't they understand that for a kid, even for a kid who has the things he needs to use, this is a heavy burden? Even if he knows he can do it, it's difficult.
I don't mean just that the saving the world part is hard to do, that defeating Voldemort is difficult. I mean the whole thing about fame, and expectations. That everyone knows I'm different from every other kid in the wizarding world, and treats me different because of it.
I just want to be a normal wizarding kid. Not expected to save the world, not expected to save lives, just expected to do well and have fun. Nobody expects the other kids to do this. Why can't they treat me the same?
Yes, sometimes I feel like another kid. There's times at Hogwarts where I don't feel special, don't feel different. Times that I'm truly happy. I love those times, savor those moments. If only they could last, if only that was how it always was.
I put on the mask of happiness, I wear it so well. No one knows that the face they see is not really true, nobody knows what is hidden under the mask. What is underneath is something I can't tell anyone, not even my closest friends. Under there is ange, for I'm angry at everyone for expecting so much of me, angry at them that they won't just treat me like any other kid. Because that's all I really want: to be a normal kid.
Maybe someday I'll remove the mask, and let show to the world what's inside me. That would be a nasty shock for them. To know that I don't really want to be saving the world. Know that I have some wishes that they aren't fulfilling. That just because I've saved the world and I'm famous doesn't mean I'm happy. That if I'm to be truly happy, they need to do something else for me.
But every time I want to take off the mask, every time I feel like it, I can't. I can't let them see what's inside me. It's too painful, too hard, not just to reveal it to them, but to reveal it to myself. My mask, my costume, the thing which I have been hiding under, has been a protection to me as well as them.
For I try not to think about it. I try to convince myself, too, that this is how I really feel. That I'm not resentful, not angry, not sad about what has happened to me. But in the end, self deceit can never pay. For though you may be able to lie to others and they won't find out, if you lie to yourself, there's still a place inside you which knows the truth. Still a place inside you that will tell you you're wrong, tell you what you really feel, what is really true.
That's why I can't take off this mask. Because inside it, there is that place that tells the truth. That's what the mask is hiding: the truth, and I don't want to face the truth. Not now. Maybe someday, somehow, I will be strong enough to remove the mask. But for now, I must live with it and wear it. I must hide the truth behind this mask...