The cat was out of the bag, or her true sexuality so to speak. With that development came her downfall. Yes. Santana Lopez was dropped from the top of the McKinly High social pyramid faster than she had time to brace herself. It had been a little over a month since and besides her now walking around, blending in with the rest of the students as opposed to strutting around in a red and white uniform, nothing much has changed.
It was the end of the day, the school was empty save for a few people milling around. Since being dropped Santana had more time to herself to focus on things that were now more important to her than rank. She returned her books to her locker after her routine Friday study session after school in the library. As she walked past the choir room she cast a quick glance inside expecting to see Rachel Berry practicing her vocals. She never understood why the girl practiced so much when she obviously didn't need to. Usually she would just hang outside and listen for a while but curiosity won out and she strolled into the empty room. Rachel's pink bag sat lone by her chair and a neatly folded paper stood out against the black of the piano top.
"Fellow Glee clubbers" she mumbled to herself as she read the paper. It was like a speck of dirt to Miss Pillsbury she couldn't help but wipe it off. Well Santana couldn't help but open the paper. As her eyes drifted across the note her brows furrowed, her heart rate and panic rose in tandem. Dropping the paper back onto the piano top she turned and ran out to the nearest bathroom. Throwing the door open she scanned it running her eyes under the stalls. No feet. Leaving just as fast as she came she ran to the next one a few halls down. Nothing. Suddenly in the midst of her panic it clicked, she remembered the bathroom on the third floor at the very end of the hall. She remembered Rachel saying it was her bathroom of choice being cleaner due to it's lack of regular use.
She had never climbed stairs so fast in her life. Not even when Coach Sylvester made them run up and down the bleachers as punishment. Finally reaching the end of the hall she pushed open the door. Thankful it wasn't locked or she would probably have a broken something in her hands.
"Don't do it!" A stunned Rachel whipped around at the intrusion. Santana was panting telling Rachel she had been running.
"What?" she croaked
"I said, don't do it. I saw the letter." Rachel's face blushed at hearing this admission. She wasn't supposed to be alive when someone read her letter that exposed her deepest feelings.
"Santana I-"
"No. Just, no. You're not killing yourself. Alright?"
"Why?" she hissed suddenly becoming angry with this girl telling her what she could and couldn't do.
"Because, because-"
"That's a very compelling argument." she scoffed "I knew I shouldn't have put where I was in that note…and locked the door" she said berating herself.
"Just give me a minute okay? I'm not good with words."
Rachel sighed turning to rest her shaking hands on the sinks edge. She could see the girl in the mirror behind her struggling with her thoughts.
"Just go. If it's that hard to think of something…anything to say to me then just go." She said looking down at the leaky faucet. Truth is Rachel didn't want her to go she was wishing, hoping with everything in her that Santana could say something to help her change her mind.
"You know how people always say that you don't really know how much people mean to you until they're gone?" she said fighting tears. Rachel glanced at her through the mirror but stayed silent so Santana continued. "I'm not ready." Seeing Rachel's confused face she explained. "I'm not ready to find out how much you mean to me Rachel." she said tears now slowly making a path down her face. "I know that's kind of confusing but-"
"I get it…" Rachel interrupted as she turned back to face the other girl. "I thought you hated me" she said in a small voice.
"Yeah, well people think a lot about me." she said shaking her head. Rachel just looked at her trying to figure out why this girl of all people was here trying to convince her no to off herself. "I like you Rachel, I care about you. And I'm sure those other lames in glee care about you too. They just haven't thought about a world without the one and only Rachel Berry in it." she said a slight grin on her face at the last part.
"And you have?" Rachel asked meekly
"Well yeah. I mean when I read your letter in there it all just hit me and I just-" she raised her arm and then dropped it back to her side with a sigh trying to find her words.
"You what?"
"I just. I thought about ya know…not seeing you and your sweaters and those socks you wear. Not hearing another one of your long winded rants or big words. Not seeing the way your face lights up and you smile real big when you get really excited about something…your eyes, you have big eyes, they're nice." Santana felt slightly embarrassed as she realized everything she'd just said and bit her lip not meeting Rachel's gaze. It was silent save for a few sniffs here and there until Santana spoke again. "You said in your letter that you were a nobody. That's not true. You are somebody and one day you'll get out of here away from all us nobodies and become an even bigger somebody."
Rachel couldn't help but smile at the girls wording but it quickly faded. "What if I fail? What if I can't do it?"
"Then at least you would have tried! So what if you don't become big and famous. You at least gave yourself a chance and tried!" Rachel thought about everything Santana had told her in the past few minutes.
"You're a somebody" she said breaking the short silence that had come over them. Looking up at the other girls eyes. "You said us nobodies. You're not a nobody Santana." Santana looked at her with watery eyes and smiled gently.
"Promise me that you'll try. That you won't do, anything." she said gesturing to Rachel's body.
"Only if you promise to try with me, we could help one another." she said hopefully. They looked at each other for a few long moments, a new understanding passing through them.
"I will" Santana said nodding
"I said promise"
"So did I" Santana stepped forward and held out her pinky.
"I promise, I'll try" Rachel said wrapping her finger around Santana's.
"I promise" Santana repeated letting her pinky break loose and pulling the slightly smaller girl into a hug. Rachel grasped at Santana's back wrapping her arms around her tightly feeling warmer than she'd felt in a long while. Pulling back they both wiped away any remaining tears.
"Now give it to me" Santana said
"What?"
"Whatever you were going to use to ya know"
"Oh." Rachel stuck her hand in her skirt pocket pulling out a handful of pills. "I'm not much one for blood so…." Santana shrugged and swiped the pills from her hand, walking to a stall she dropped them into the toilet and flushed.
"Don't tell anyone I said all those things. My social status may be shot at this school but I've still got my bitch status."
"I won't and I trust you to not say anything about this either"
"Right." she nodded "Well, I'm hungry. I needs at get my eats on." she said heading towards the door, halfway into the hall she stopped. Holding the door open with one hand she turned holding out the other. "Are you coming or not? Times a wastin." Rachel quickly shook off the look of surprise on her face and stepped forward grasping Santana's hand, as she lead them out of the restroom."I never hated you, ya know" Santana said as they walked hand in hand down the empty hall.
"I knew it" Rachel said smiling at the confused look turning into a smile.
"So, Rachel do you like Breadstix?"
"Well, they don't have many vegan friendly choices but the salad is good and the actual breadstix are delicious."
"Yep. I can already see that this" Santana said motioning between them "it's going to work out just fine"
Yes. The cat had been let out of the bag. Resulting in the loss of friends and status. But maybe it was all fate and now she was where she was supposed to be. Now that she was at the bottom she had no choice but to try and go up. And she would or better yet they would. Santana no longer cared so much of what others people thought and so she welcomed Rachel Berry's friendship with open arms. And if it evolves to more than friendship? Well, she guesses she wouldn't mind welcoming that either.