The Little Thing that has to go up here or I'll get sued: I own everything that J.K. Rowling doesn't. Happy? Oh, and remember this, because it's the last time you'll see it. I'm sick of these things. ::mutters::
A nice, long chapter for all you long-chapter fanatics. This is one of my first tries at L/J humor and teasing, etc., so please tell me whether you thought it was good, corny, etc. because I have to figure out what I can write and what I can't, so please review. I'm begging. Now proceeding to the story…
Chapter 1: The Lily Tastes Very Good.
Lily Evans stared at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. She just didn't look like herself at all--- Lily Rose Evans, genius, goody-goody-two-shoes, now Hogwarts's Head Girl.
Nervously she twirled a lock of flaming red hair around her finger. Last week she had made a spontaneous decision to "brighten up" her looks by getting rid of her mousy brown hair and thick glasses, and was now on the verge of regretting it. Not that she didn't like the way she looked--- she just didn't know what other people would think. She didn't want to be a platinum blond, so she had decided on flaming-red, and her glasses had been replaced by Muggle contacts. No one would recognize her, she was sure of it.
Dressed in tight jeans and a pink tank top, Lily looked like a gorgeous model, not the shy, nerdy witch with ordinary brown hair and thick glasses they had seen (and made fun of) last year.
"Yo, freak! We're going now!" Petunia, Lily's stuck-up, estranged older sister, yelled from the bottom of the staircase.
Sighing, Lily picked up her bags and the cage with her snowy-white owl Opal and headed downstairs.
~*~*~
James Potter swiped at the tufts of his unruly black hair that were tickling his forehead and looked around anxiously for his best friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. They had agreed to meet in front of the barrier at King's Cross so they could perform their latest experiment--- chucking various Muggle objects at the barrier to see if they would bounce or pass through.
"Hey, Prongs!" Sirius bounded towards James, shoulder-length black hair swinging wildly, and hugged him swiftly, grinning wickedly. "You bring the toaster?"
Remus reached them next, lugging an overflowing garbage bag behind him. He began to tick off objects on his fingertips, pausing only to sweep his sandy-brown hair from his eyes. "Tennis balls, history book, jug of grape juice, alarm clock, stuffed animal, lamp---"
"Yes, Remus, we know you have it all." James then turned to Sirius. "Why didn't you bring anything? You made poor Remus bring everything?"
Sirius grinned. "Nah, I have too much honor (James snorted at this) for that. Remus is just carrying my stuff too."
Remus stuck his tongue out at Sirius and said, "I'm suffering here so Sirius'll help do my Divination essay for me on the train. He's best at making up drastic events that will take place when Jupiter lines up with Saturn or something like that."
James pretended to be hurt. "And I'm not?"
"No, I'm better."
"Shut up, Padfoot."
As the three friends bickered good-naturedly, they didn't see Lily Evans vanish through the barrier behind them. Lilt didn't notice them either--- dressed in their 'regular Muggle clothing', they looked like a bunch of 'regular' teenagers.
"You guys ready now?"
"Sure thing. Who wants the honor of chucking my mom's toaster first?"
"Who else?" asked Sirius indignantly. "I was the one who thought of the experiment in the first place."
"Well, by all means go ahead and do so." James passed Sirius the toaster, who hefted it experimentally in his right hand.
"Here we go, folks." The toaster flew through the air--- and vanished through the barrier.
Remus clapped, drawing several stares from nearby people, and James whooped. "Bloody hell, the useless Muggle bread-warmer-thingy passed!"
Sirius smirked. "I knew it would. You---"
His words were cut off suddenly when the toaster came flying back and hit him full in the face, spraying breadcrumbs all over Sirius's hair and clothes.
"OW!" Sirius rubbed his sore nose. "What the---" He grabbed the toaster and crossed the barrier, his face red with indignance and fury.
"James looked at Remus, who shrugged. "Either the wall has a reverse action spell or someone threw it." He paused, grinning. "I'm betting on the latter."
James smiled wickedly. "Let's find out."
~*~*~
Lily rubbed the back of her head, wincing when she touched a sore spot. She had been standing there minding her own business (looking for her friends Arabella Figg and Ariel Silvershay) when all of a sudden a toaster had come flying through the air and slammed into the back of her head with considerable force.
The idiot who throws a toaster at Lily Rose Evans shall pay dearly, she thought grimly. With some satisfaction, Lily had picked up the toaster and sent it flying back through the barrier with the skill, strength, and aim of a girl who had been a pitcher in the town's softball team for 5 years, and was about to cross after it when a head with long, shoulder-length black hair poked through. The body followed--- carrying a beat up toaster.
~*~*~
Once more than 50% of his body had made it to the other side, Sirius snarled, "Who threw the damned toaster at me?" It was partly a rhetorical question; he wasn't really expecting an answer because the culprit wouldn't just be standing there.
That's why he was surprised when a very familiar female voice suddenly said, "I did. Who gave you the right to throw it at the back of my head in the first place?"
Sirius raised his gaze from where he had it centered on the floor, and his jaw dropped 5 feet and 7 inches to the floor to hit the ground with a loud thump. Poised in front of him, hands placed indignantly on slender hips, was a knockout red-head with curves in all the right places.
All Sirius could do was stare (and try not to drool or fall flat on his face).
~*~*~
"Sirius Black!" Lily exclaimed, surprised. Then she rolled her eyes and said exasperatedly, "Why am I not surprised."
Sirius cocked his head to the side. "You know me?"
A voice---rather, two voices saying the same thing--- cut off Lily's reply. "Hey Padfoot, how's it going?"
Then James looked up at Lily and let out a heartfelt whistle. He was accustomed to beautiful, sexy girls and knew how to act (Not that Sirius wasn't; he just hadn't seen one in that gorgeous in a long time. Leave the poor guy alone).
Lily scowled and was about to say something when Remus shouted, "We'll continue this on the train. It's about to go now, guys."
Remus's cry alerted the others and they turned to dash off, leaving their experimental equipment behind where it was. Lily just stood there, momentarily confused. What---
She couldn't finish the sentence. James had grabbed her hand and was pulling---rather, dragging--- Lily towards the compartment door where Sirius and Remus pranced about anxiously. Lily couldn't react to having James's hand in hers (or vice versa) because she was still trying to calm her thumping heart and breathe normally again.
The train pulled away just as Lily ran up the stairs to the compartment right behind James. They were both panting heavily, still high on the adrenaline rush.
Sirius was pacing the compartment floor, obviously deep in thought about something. Then he looked up and eyed James and Lily, eyebrow arched and beautiful black eyes twinkling.
Suddenly Lily realized she still had her hand in James's. Blushing, Lily disengaged her hand, muttered something about changing her robes, and hightailed off.
When Lily closed the compartment door, James and Sirius immediately turned to each other and asked, "Who is she?"
Remus looked up from the book of hexes he was reading and said, "Her voice sounds familiar", but of course no one heard him.
"Do you think she's new?"
"A first year like that?" Sirius whistled his approval. "You've got to be kidding."
"Maybe she's an exchange student from Beauxbatons or Durmstrang or something like that."
"But don't exchange students go directly to Hogwarts though?"
"Exchange student or not, she is hot." When James saw Sirius's dreamy expression, he broke out laughing.
Between giggles and gasps for breath, James managed to choke out, "You don't even know her and you've got your sights set on her already?"
Sirius looked highly affronted. "Prongs, this is me. Sirius. Padfoot. Of course I'll find out who she is. Now." He crooked a finger at Lily's bags, left alone on the compartment floor.
The moment Sirius said that, Remus looked up. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Sirius cocked an eyebrow at Remus, surprised. "Well, majority rules on this." He glanced expectantly at James, who shrugged.
"Be careful," was all James said, his voice calm, perhaps even bored, but truth was he did want to find out who the beautiful sophisticated stranger was. He just hid his eagerness better than Sirius, who would always be as excited as a dog that just saw a bone if he had his mind set on something or was about to do something fun. In this case, it was both.
The very moment the words left James's lips, Sirius whooped and scampered to the seat holding Lily's bags. He selected an ordinary looking backpack and began ruffling through it, muttering about 'female things'.
Suddenly he held up a tarnished brass notebook, triumph painted all over his slightly Gothic features. "Ah-ha!" he exclaimed, "Our fair lady's diary! 'Keep out! You have been warned!' It belongs to---"
The diary flew out of his hands and Sirius was thrown backwards into the wall.
"The diary belongs to me," an icy voice said as the small book flew neatly into her hands.
The 'beautiful, sophisticated stranger' stepped out from the shadows, green eyes narrowed as she glared at the three boys.
James inadvertently cowered back from her gaze, all of a sudden feeling--- vulnerable. Sirius shrank back into the wall even more, his expression a combination of awe, fright, and respect.
Only Remus remained unaffected. Glancing up from his book at the two boys, he remarked matter-of-factly, "I warned you, but did you listen you me? No." He shook his head sadly, then switched his attention to the figure standing in the doorway and the shiny badge pinned to her chest. "Congrats on being made Head Girl, Lil'."
"Thanks, Lupin." Lily walked in and plopped down on the seat, glaring at Sirius as she stuffed her diary back into her backpack. "I didn't think anyone would recognize me in that--- get-up."
Head Girl? "Lil'"? James's mind was whirling as pieces began to click into place.
"I didn't, for a second," admitted Remus. "It was your voice that gave you away."
Lily Evans?
"Anyways, Remus, who's Head Boy?"
James gulped. Maybe I'd better tell them and suffer now instead of later.
Remus looked thoughtful. "Actually, I don't know. Sirius, do you?" Sirius shook his head negatively.
"Me." James winced at his timid squeak and said more clearly, more loudly, "I'm Head Boy."
There was a moment of stunned silence in the compartment, then a guffaw of laughter from Sirius ("If you're Head Boy, then we won't be getting scolded day in and day out like last year by that goody-goody guy Gershwin, right?") and "Congrats, Prongs" from Remus.
"You?" Lily stared, disbelieving and frozen, at him.
"Yes, me." James sighed. "You don't believe me, do you?"
"Who in their right mind would?"
"Sirius and Remus apparently do."
Lily snorted. "I said 'in their right mind', Potter. Anyone who hangs out with you---"
At Sirius's indignent "Hey!", James snickered. He turned, fished something out of his bag, and handed it to Lily. "Beat this, Evans," James said smugly. With that, he turned to his bags to find his own book of hexes for some light, useful reading, smiling inwardly. I thought Sirius would torment me about being a goody-goody Head Boy. And Lily, of all people, is Head Girl. This year will definitely be--- interesting.
"Hey, Potter! I 'beat' it!" James turned around to find a grinning Lily brandishing his Head Boy badge--- or what was once his Head Boy badge--- in front of his face. She had placed some sort of advanced charm on it so that it would reshape itself into a stag every couple of minutes.
Wait a second--- STAG??? Had Lily somehow found out that they were illegal Animagi?
James shot a quick, worried glance at Sirius and Remus, who shook their heads slightly to respond no, they didn't tell her.
Remus cleared his throat nervously but managed to keep his voice calm. "Hey Lil', why'd you pick a stag of all the things in the world?"
Lily cocked her head to the side, causing her lush, red hair to cascade down and brush James's face. When he inhaled the sweet fragrance of lilies, all common sense and reasoning flew out of his head. All he could think of was kissing her…
Lily looked thoughtful, unaware of the [indecent] thoughts going through James's mind at the moment. "Actually, the thought just popped into my head. It probably has to do with your calling him 'Prongs' or whatever. Stupid nickname," she muttered half-heartedly.
Both Sirius and Remus sighed, looking very relieved. They glanced at James to see if he heard, but---
James snapped out of his trance, horrified. Kiss Lily? Was he bloody mad? She was a sort-of younger sibling who he made fun of and tormented regularly. What in the world was he thinking?
Though it was very hard to think of her as a sister when she stood tantalizingly in front of him with her beautiful red hair teasing his face. It was so much easier before when Lily was a shy, quiet good-goody genius with mousy brown hair and thick glasses.
Damn, he muttered, I have got to get my head checked. Then, not even knowing what he was doing for a second, James slowly stood up, his hand reaching out towards Lily's Head Girl badge and brushing her forearm lightly in the process. She shivered involuntarily, making James glance up in surprise.
"Yes, Potter," Lily replied to his silent question, her voice slightly unsteady. "I charmed my own badge too."
"Into what?"
Lily was about to answer when the compartment plunged into complete darkness and the floor shook violently, throwing Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, and their bags astray.
"Ouch! Remmy, is that you cutting off the circulation in my leg?"
"Don't call me 'Remmy', Siri. Especially if you want your leg in one piece after this is over."
"Yes, Master Remmy. OUCH!!!!!!"
Suddenly, Remus noticed that James and Lily were awfully quiet, wherever they were.
"Hey Lil', Prongs, you okay there?"
The moment the words left Remus's mouth, the lights returned.
James was, well, sprawled over Lily, his lips just inches from hers. They appeared to be staring into each other's eyes, oblivious to the world around them.
Sirius snickered. "Yes, Remmy," he said loudly, "they seem to be fine. Better than fine, too."
Sirius's overly loud voice cut through the invisible bonds that held Lily's beautiful emerald-green eyes to James's sexy midnight-blue eyes. They blushed, both thinking of how close they had been to kissing. Had they been left uninterrupted for another minute or two, James was sure he would have lost all control and begun kissing Lily breathless (He wasn't one of the "most sought-after" boys for nothing, folks). He wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed the lights had returned.
James sighed and rolled over to get off Lily, but suddenly found himself staring into those captivating green eyes again. "What---"
Lily smiled wryly. "Remember what you--- uh--- asked before the lights disappeared? Well look down and you'll see the answer."
James glanced down and saw that Lily's Head Girl badge had turned into a--- a lily (what else?). And James's stag was heartily munching on its petals, refusing to let go.
Their laughter filled the compartment, bounced off the walls, and echoed through the corridors.
It was then that Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts [and many other things I won't care to mention] chose to make his appearance.
James saw him first, as Lily was busy drowning herself in his midnight-blue eyes again and Sirius and Remus were too busy convulsing with laughter and trying to keep from falling off their seats.
"Well, hello, Professor. How was your vacation?"
Eyes twinkling merrily, Dumbledore replied, "It was good, James. How was yours, Lily?"
The mentioning of her name brought Lily back down to Earth with a thump. Realizing, a bit belatedly, that it was the Headmaster she was speaking to (or rather, who had addressed her), one of the most powerful wizards in the world, Lily blushed and scrambled to get off James, conveniently forgetting the predicament they were in.
"Yeowch! Lily! Careful!" James sat up quickly as not to get his robes ripped off. Now Lily was straddling his lap, arms loosely on his shoulders, chests brushing, and lips mere inches from his.
The stag continued to munch happily on the lily, not displaying any sign of wanting to stop and let go at all.
"Uhhh… Professor? Do you mid helping us out over here? We're kind of--- stuck." James smiled weakly as he said this.
Dumbledore grinned wryly as he looked at the unlikely couple on the floor, remembering the days when he and Tabitha Waterwing, Head Boy and Head Girl in their days and mortal enemies in the yes of the entire school, would throw hexes at each other whenever they met in the halls but then dream about each other at night. If only Voldemort hadn't murdered her… (NOTE: See my story "Lily Evans and the Sphinx's Enigma for the Tabitha-Voldemort story; it's in Chapter 2)
From their involuntary blushes, he could tell James and Lily were in fact enjoying the scandalous position they were in, as much as they tried not to show it, so he proceeded to take his time getting them apart (he may have looked old but he certainly wasn't senile, yet).
"It looks like Ms. Evans here put some very powerful charms on these badges [James grimaced at this; it didn't take a genius to figure out that Lily, Charms master of Hogwarts, had done it, because James's worse subject was Charms]. And how may I ask did you two get stuck together?"
Lily and James were too busy staring dreamily into each other's eyes (for the what? fourth time during the train ride?) to hear Dumbledore's question, much less answer it.
Sirius cleared his throat, causing Dumbledore to glance his way. He had a brilliant idea, a great way to start their new and final year, and from the lively twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes, he was sure Dumbledore wouldn't mind a little fun. He would keep James from murdering him. Or at least Sirius fervently hoped so.
"Uhhh, Professor? You see, Lily and James had just vowed their undying love to each other. Jamsie-boy proposed, the traditional Muggle way on one knee of course, and Lily accepted. You'll be invited to the wedding at the end of the year. Anyways--- well, you can probably guess what happened next." Sirius shook his head sadly, his long black hair flopping into his face. "Me and Remmy are scarred for life now, Prof---"
Remus coughed loudly. Sirius turned to James and Lily, who both had identical murderous looks on their faces, and waved cheekily.
"Yes, Mr. Black, thank you for your--- most entertaining--- rendition. I believe I'll separate James and Lily now and leave you to their mercy… Separatus!" Chuckling merrily to himself, Albus Dumbledore walked away. Those four never failed to amuse him.
"Oh wait! I almost forgot!" He turned back into the room just in time to hear Lily yell "Rictusempra!", thus firing a Tickling Charm at Sirius, and a very powerful one at that too judging from the way Sirius was rolling on the floor and laughing so hard tears were rolling down his cheeks. He saw James and Lily give each other high-fives, and Remus dive beneath his seat (both to hide and to see how the pictures he had taken with his new camera had developed).
"Ms. Evans, would you kindly spare Mr. Black for a moment? I'll let you get back to torturing him in a second after I deliver this important announcement."
"Of course, Headmaster." The calm, sophisticated, determined Lily was back, replacing the furiously blushing Lily who had been in a most interesting position atop her "mortal enemy" a minute ago. Dumbledore was almost disappointed (even though that was the 'proper' way for a Hogwarts Head Girl to act)--- he needed some cheering up at this moment and these four were always the best at it.
"After the feast, would all of you please remain in the Great Hall? I would like to address the 7th years on matters concerning, well, you'll find out soon enough. Now you may continue---"
A second after the words had escaped his lips, Sirius was back laughing and gasping for breath on the floor and Remus was back under the compartment seat.
Ah, the joys of youth, thought Dumbledore sadly. Many take it for granted nowadays. However, we will need youngsters like these to bring cheer to us again after I have made the announcement. Perhaps I should ask Minerva to spare the detention slips this year… (which would be to James's and Sirius's utter disappointment, as they were planning to collect the most detention slips (James had access to plenty of them, too, since he was Head Boy) ever in Hogwarts's history and shredding and sprinkling them in the Great Hall as confetti during the end-of-the-year feast).
With that last thought, Dumbledore turned and left the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, how was that? Very long, in my opinion. Extremely long. And I know I didn't get anywhere with this, and I'm sorry about that. Chapter 2 will be up soon, and I think the plot will finally move along. It's not as fluffy or stupid as it seems. THIS WILL ACTUALLY HAVE A PLOT.
Please review with anything you would like to say, or you can email me at sherlock718@hotmail.com
And if you haven't already, check out my other two stories, "Invisible Barriers" and "Lily Evans and the Sphinx's Enigma".
REVIEW!!!! HHj