AN: I've been really busy, so I am quite behind...plus I like to procrastinate.
Rating: T
Theme: Post-canon
Prompt: Rumour
Disclaimer: Sorry
Warnings: Okay, first I am going to say that I actually like Karin (she reminds me of my sister), and that I love straight and gay and lesbian and bisexual and transgender people (I just love all people~), and...I forgot what else. Story contains swearing, sexually suggestive nature, and yeah.
...
Faraway, in a village about a million miles away from Konoha, sat Sasuke and his team. They were hungry, they were thirsty, and they were struggling not to kill each other.
"Damn it, four-eyes, this is all your fault! If you didn't buy all that crap to try and seduce Sasuke, we'd have enough money for water! And food! But mostly water!"
"Well excuse me, but if you could last 5 minutes without gulping an entire bottle maybe we'd have some left! And you're one to talk-you spent yours drinking!"
"Water is the basic necessity of life, and I am entitled to drink until I am completely hydrated! Besides, no man-except maybe a gay one-would want to have sex with you-and even then, I'm pretty sure they'd still pass!"
"You'd know a lot about gay men, wouldn't you-"
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL YOU FUCKING-ah, sorry Sasuke-sama."
Sasuke felt a tinge of regret at stopping Juugo from killing Karin and Suigetsu, but he knew their deaths would too messy to clean up.
...
After bartering with the inkeeper, Sasuke won Team Taka a small meal per person. It didn't take long to finish, but it left them in a much better mood. Unfortunately, that meant Karin was in a good mood.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun." Karin batted her eyelashes, purring. "What you did for us...getting us food...that was really sweet. And sexy."
"I'll be back." Sasuke stood up abruptly.
"I'll come with you-"
Sasuke almost gagged as she added a coy wink.
"No."
Sasuke hightailed it out of there, ignoring Suigetsu guffaws.
...
"Hey, did you hear?"
Two boys strolled the streets, a few meters ahead of Sasuke.
"About Sakura Haruno?"
Sasuke's ears perked at his former teammate's name; he'd admit, he thought of her sometimes. It was a little hard not to, he reasoned, when Sakura had such bright hair.
"I know! I'm so mad!"
"You mean jealous."
"I mean jealous!"
Sasuke began to grow suspicious; first of all, it was a long way from Konoha. How would they know who Sakura Haruno was, let alone care? Second of all, what were they so jealous about? He decided to investigate as he followed the adolescents into a small convenience store.
"I wish I could date her."
Sasuke stiffened.
"Dude, she's mine."
"Dude, she's his!"
Sasuke needed to get to Konoha ASAP.
...
"Do you even think the rumours are true?"
"Probably not."
...
"Sasuke-kun, you're back!" Karin squealed, leaping up from where she was sitting.
"We're leaving."
"Where to?" Suigetsu made a face.
"Konoha.
...
"Can we please take a break? We've been travelling for days!" Suigetsu whined.
"No."
...
Meanwhile, in the peace of Konoha, Sakura was furious.
"DAMMIT, INO-PIG! I TOLD YOU THAT HE WASN'T MY BOYFRIEND!"
"Then who is he?" Ino smirked, obviously thinking she'd win.
But Sakura wasn't finished.
"HE'S MY COUSIN!"
...
Naruto pointed his finger accusingly.
"YOU'RE GETING MARRIED?"
Sakura choked.
"How did it get from me having a boyfriend to me getting married?"
"Guess he heard the marriage version. I heard the eloped story." Kakashi drawled, blushing at his book.
Ignoring Kakashi ("Perverted old men" Sakura grumbled), she turned to Naruto.
"I'm not getting married."
"Then why is everybody talking about it?" Naruto crossed his arms stubbornly.
"Because stupid Ino-pig spread a rumour when she saw me with my cousin."
Naruto hesitated.
"So it's not true?"
"Nope. It's all-"
"Ugly! Congratulations on the baby! Guess someone's been getting it on."
"Kill me now." Sakura groaned.
...
Greeting him at the gates of Konoha, Naruto stood defiantly with his chin jutted.
"Teme."
"Dobe."
The silence stretched on, before it was interrupted by the growl of a stomach.
"I'm hungry, okay! So can we just come in or what?" Suigetsu whined.
"This your new team?"
"Hn."
"I guess I should take you guys to the Hokage, then."
"Hn."
"Maybe."
"Hn."
"I'll wait a few minutes, just in case-"
"HOLY SHIT JUST LET US IN!" Karin shrieked.
Suigetsu snickered. "That's what she said."
"OH YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT-"
...
Breaking slightly ahead of the rest of Team Taka, Sasuke and Naruto sped up.
"I'm sorry, but you picked them over us."
"...hn."
"I-you can't be serious! I guess we're sort of similar, but they've got to be worse than us! And we're better now-not only can I kick your ass without getting a scratch, but Kakashi doesn't read his porn to children anymore and Sakura...well, you'll see." Naruto winked.
What. The. Hell. Does that mean.
"It means she's got a huge rack." Suigetsu piped in, catching up with the two.
"It is quite nice." Naruto nodded solemnly in agreement.
"Is it perk-"
"Stop. Now." Sasuke interrupted gruffly, ears turning red.
"Aww, is Sasuke-kun getting embarrass-"
"Why is Sasuke-kun getting embarrassed?" Karin quickly butted into the conversation upon hearing Sasuke's name.
"No reason." Naruto smiled cheekily before whistling inconspicuously.
Sasuke wondered of Konoha would be mad if he killed Naruto.
...
There was a number of ways Sasuke could expect to see Sakura again. Tears streaming down her face, she could tackle him into a hug. She could treat him at the hospital. Hell, she could even punch him in the face.
Or, in this case, throwing bottles of sake out of the window.
"Hey, Saky-chan! Getting some spring cleaning done?" Naruto exuberantly shouted up to the top of the Hokage tower, ignoring the shattering glass and pools of alcohol littering the otherwise-empty streets.
"I'm just giving some genin a tedious but valuable mission." Sakura gestured towards the mess below.
"Granny there? I've got some visitors that will give her a headache."
Glancing over at Sasuke, Sakura giggled. "Sorry; Tsunade's to drunk to function. Looks like you'll be the one in charge of them until she wakes up."
"Can't you just wake her up?" Naruto whined.
"Nope."
Upon Naruto's puppy-dog face, Sakura sighed.
"I'll be there in a while to help out, okay? I'll even bring food. Just don't...don't kill anyone." Sakura let her eyes move to Sasuke, cringing at the way his dark eyes seemed to follow her. "Same goes to you guys. Otherwise..." Sakura held up a bottle of sale and made a swinging motion.
"Off with your heads!"
Really, she wasn't helping those pregnancy rumours with her cackling.
...
"This is your home?" Karin nearly gagged at the smell of Naruto's messy apartment.
Naruto rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I don't clean up very often."
"Have you ever cleaned up in your life?" Suigetsu studied the small light on the ceiling, which had various articles of clothing hanging precariously from the hooks.
The floor was littered with empty ramen cups and milk cartons, the chairs covered in books and magazines (Sasuke was sure he saw a few issues of Icha Icha), and the lone table piled with video games. Sensing an oppurtunity, Naruto grinned.
"Let's make a deal."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "What kind of deal?"
"The kind that will banish any other punishments."
"We'll do it!" Suigetsu jumped up, excited to get off scot-free.
"Fantastic!" Naruto felt a bit like a scam artist, but quickly pushed that feeling aside. After all, there was great benefit ahead if he played his cards right.
"What do we have to do, Naruto?" Sasuke growled, feeling as if he were treading in dangerous territory.
"You'll see."
Naruto was an evil, evil man.
...
After employing a cute little genin team to clean up the mess, Sakura decided to head to Naruto's.
"Ohayo, Teuchi-san! Ohayo, Ayame-san!" Sakura mentally calculated how many bowls she would need to bring.
"Hello, Sakura-san. Where's Naruto?" Ayame smiled innocently, before quietly adding "Are the rumours true?"
Sakura rolled her eyes. "No, Ayame. I don't know which version you've heard from the old ladies, but they just keep getting more and more absurd."
Ayame giggled. "Should have known. When I first heard, I thought that you would be the last person who would throw a shot-gun elopement to a tall, dark and handsome outlaw."
Sakura choked. "They have to stop watching those soap-operas."
"No kidding. What can I get for you?"
"15 bowls of miso ramen."
"Sure thing."
After a few more minutes of chatting with Ayame, Sakura's order was ready.
Take-out in hand, Sakura strolled down the streets humming. Suddenly, it occurred to her that she'd probably have to speak to Sasuke. Though she was able to pull of talking about him without any major hitches, he still was a sensitive subject for her. It sort of stung, she thought remorsefully, that he never seemed affected by anything. He still looked perfect as ever; as aloof, as detached, and as coldly perfect as the last time she had seen him. Naruto and Sakura could cry and sob and hurt, but Sasuke would always be on another level. She would never understand, and Sasuke would always find her problems trivial and childish compared to his own.
He made her feel like a child. He made her feel so foolish.
Earlier that day, as his inky-orbs followed her every action, Sakura had decided that she would not judge Sasuke. She would start fresh, as the little past they had shared wasn't worth keeping.
Plus, she was pretty sure she was still in love with him, and that really didn't help.
Climbing up the stairs, Sakura took a deep breathe before knocking on the door.
"She's here! Everybody take your places!"
Sakura's eyes narrowed suspiciously; Naruto was up to something.
The door opened slowly, halting at a sliver of an opening. "Oh, Sakura-chan! What a pleasant suprise!"
"I told you I was coming."
"Did you?" Naruto feigned innocence. "I must have forgotten. Did you guys remember hearing that?" Naruto opened the door wider to reveal Team Hebi, all sitting neatly in a row, a frightened air around them.
"No, sir." They spoke simultaneously, except of course for Sasuke, who merely grunted.
"Then you must have just imagined it." Naruto batted his eyelashes.
"Let me in." Sakura growled, pushing a yelping Naruto aside to enter his apartment.
She was amazed at what she saw; the floors were spotless, nothing was out of place, and the walls...sparkled.
That was her first hint that something was wrong.
The second was how Sasuke's Team seemed to be quivering.
"Naruto, what did you do?" Sakura spoke slowly, voice echoing through the home.
"Now, now, no need to jump to conclusions." Naruto tried to calm Sakura. "We, being consenting adults, made a deal."
"You made them clean. Your house." Sakura hissed.
In a flash, Sakura leaped and, with her iron fists, punched Naruto square in the jaw, sending him flying through the window.
Turning towards the trio quivering in the corner (and Sasuke), Sakura's large, green orbs were filled with concern.
"Tell me," Sakura kneeled in front of them. "What did you see?"
"I thought it was a dead plant, but it was a milk carton!" Suigetsu broke first, earning a hug from Sakura.
"Oh, baby, it's okay. It's gone now. It's not going to hurt you anymore."
Sasuke growled at Suigetsu's eyebrows, which wiggled suggestively as Sakura held him.
Karin drew her knees up to her chest. "I found a loaf of bread older than this building."
Sakura out a hand on her shoulder. "We have to stay strong. What you saw was horrible. But you have to stay strong."
Karin nodded, and Sakura's gaze went to Sasuke.
Sasuke couldn't help but smirk at the way Sakura couldn't hold her gaze for long. Finally, as her eyes filled with resolve, Sakura's voice sounded uncertain.
"What about you?"
Sasuke shrugged.
"I found a dead mouse."
Sakura and Karin shrieked. Composing herself, Sakura awkwardly wrapped her arms around him.
Sasuke's breathe hitched slightly at her warmth, ears turning red when he saw where the heat was coming from. Damn, Naruto was right. Uncomfortable, Sasuke grunted.
Offended and quickly pulling away, Sakura turned to Juugo, whose voice was shaky.
"I thought it was a cockroach or something, because it was moving, but it was jello. It was jello and it was walking around the fridge!"
Poor Juugo. You poor, poor thing.
...
"...and that is why the defendants, Team Taka, should not have to face any punishment and be let into this village with open arms."
Tsunade rubbed her temples; the elders scribbled down notes. After a few agonizingly quiet minutes, Homura spoke.
"We find that the community service Team Taka has already served is sufficient punishment, though they will still be under a five-month probation period."
Filing out of the courtroom, Naruto shouted-
"Yeah! We did it baby!"
-promptly earning him a smack on the head, via Sakura.
"Hey, Sasuke, now that you're free, where are you going to stay? You can't just crash at Naruto's forever, you know." Sakura bit her lip as Sasuke brushed her off. Sasuke, of course, was simply uncomfortable, as Suigetsu had proclaimed some suggestive things in the morning.
But Sakura didn't know that. Swallowing her pride, Sakura told herself not to let it get to her.
"Sakura-san!" A young woman rushed up, pearl earrings dangling at her movements. "Sakura-san, how is your fiance reacting to your first love coming back to the village?"
About to tell her off, Sakura was interrupted.
"Yes, Sakura-chan! Is your husband jealous of all the attention you've been giving Sasuke?"
Sasuke stiffened; though he still had not spoken to Sakura about her love life (not because he was nervous, he told himself, just because...aww, hell), or spoken to her much at all (she avoided talking to him, choosing to ask Karin or Juugo for information for the probation hearing), he was sure that she would have told him if she were married. If not her, then Naruto! But then again, at least they included him in the questions. After all, Sasuke thought with a smirk, who else had played such a large role in Sakura's love life?
"Sakura-san, please answer!"
"Sakura-san, what about the bab-"
"LISTEN UP PEOPLE!" Sakura's voice boomed, earning a hush from the people surrounding her. "IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE THESE RUMOURS WERE SPREAD, AND I'D LIKE TO SAY IT HAS GOTTEN WAY OUT OF HAND. ALL OF THOSE RUMOURS ARE FALSE."
Though she continued to speak, Sasuke had stopped listening. He came all the way back to Konoha, cleaned Naruto's house, all for nothing.
If he had kept listening, he would know it was not all for nothing.
"-AND, WELL, I LIKE SOMEBODY, BUT...it's not like he even likes me in a platonic way." Sakura glanced over at Sasuke, in hopes that he would have gotten the message, but Sasuke was busy glaring at his feet.
But Naruto got the message, and, using his brain, decided he had to do something. After all, he owed it to Sakura.
Pulling Sakura away from the dispersing crowd, Naruto sighed.
"Really?"
Sakura protested. "Well, it's not like I really...got over him." She sighed dejectedly.
"But it doesn't matter anyways. Whenever I'm near him, he looks away or just looks so uncomfortable! He wouldn't even answer my questions for the trial, Naruto. When I asked him why he came back, he just glared at me. He hadn't even told his team-they just came because they trusted him! He has them now, and he doesn't care about us."
"Did he tell you that?"
"No! Because he won't tell me anything! Damn it, Naruto, why do I pick the worst ones?"
Naruto paused, before answering.
"Go talk to him. Alone. And don't get deterred if he gets uncomfortable-trust me, that's not a bad thing."
Sakura raised her eyebrow, before hugging Naruto.
"Thanks."
...
"Hey, Sasuke."
Naruto had plucked Team Taka away, leaving Sakura alone with Sasuke.
"Hn."
"Sasuke, I have something to tell you."
Recieving no reply, Sakura continued.
"I still love you. I don't want to but I do and there's not really anything you, or I, can do about it. I'll always love you, and you'll never really care because I'm Sakura and you're Sasuke and that's how it goes, right?"
Sasuke grunted.
"We never had a past." Sakura spoke sadly, before turning to look at him.
"Why'd you come back? Please answer; I know there's a reason, because you don't do things on a whim."
Sasuke looked at her. Really looked at her, at the bags beneath her eyes, at her future smile-lines, at all her uncertainty and decided to tell the truth.
"I heard a rumour."
Sakura made a face. "What kind of rumour?"
"That...you had a boyfriend."
Sakura laughed sharply. "You came back because of that dumb rumour?"
Ouch, Sasuke thought. That stung.
His words sinking in, Sakura's eyes widened.
"You came back because...you thought I had a boyfriend...oh! Oh, Sasuke-kun, you care!"
Sakura leaped onto Sasuke, who felt his neck grow hot.
"Oh, Sasuke...I love you too!" Sakura squealed.
"I never said I loved you." Sasuke fought the smile creeping onto his face. Well, that was easier than he thought it would be.
"But you will!"
And with that, Sakura planted a big kiss onto Sasuke's lips.
Later in the evening, when Karin asks Naruto where Sasuke-kun is, he'll start to spout dirty things, but they won't be to far off.
(But Sasuke will find out, and he'll pummel the dobe.)
...
AN: I didn't really like this...please review!