I do not own Jacob Black, sadly enough. If I owned Twilight... Breaking Dawn wouldn't exist.
Seriously. Why did I imprint on Bella's lochness monster spawn? Are you attempting to tell me that all this time I was not attracted to Bella but the egg inside of her?!
So, what if Bella had chosen me over Edward and we had kids? I'd leave her for my own daughter?! That's just so sick in multiple different ways. Imagine, if you will, me attempting to tell the demon spawn the fantasies I had about her mother. I'm prepared to tell her 'Oh, I totally dreamed about your mom being with me, but hey. I guess you'll have to do!'.
I am now a pedophile. Someone point me towards the police station in which I will register as a sex offender. Ha, imagine Charlie's face if I did that!
The thing that irritates me most about this is the 'You weren't attracted to Bell,a you loved her egg!' thing, but I've already said that.
So... I have nothing else to rant about on this topic unless you want to see me foaming at the mouth.