This is a fic loosely based on spoilers from Episode 5.13, Wedding Bell Blues.
Random thoughts that go through Luke's mind as he watches Emily and Richard renew their vows.
Luke's thoughts are in italics.
If you wish to remain spoiler free, this fic is not for you.
For the fifty-third time in the last fifteen minutes, Luke desperately wished he were somewhere else. His shoes were too tight, his tie was choking him and he felt ridiculous sitting by himself in a crowd full of Hartfordites (Hartfordians? Hartfordans? Hartforders? Whatever, he thought). He'd been counting on Lorelai's presence to get him through the event unscathed, but she was up front at the altar with her mother. Something about being the maid of honour, he remembered.
I shouldn't have let her talk me into coming, he grumbled mentally. Sure, he gets that along with the many, many benefits of dating a Gilmore come many, many responsibilities, but being forced to watch rich, self-indulgent Hartford snobs renew their wedding vows should be where he draws the line.
It's not as if her parents appreciated his presence. The only time he had met either of Lorelai's parents as the boyfriend had been a disaster. Her mother had been so subtly rude that it had been impossible to take offence until the evening had ended and the undercover nastiness had sunk in. Her father had been disapproving and downright scary in his attempts to take over all aspects of his life. Both events had culminated in Luke swearing to himself that, unless Lorelai pouted, did the hair twirl, wheedled and promised an appearance in her little black dress, he would have nothing to do with the elder Gilmores. Luckily, Lorelai was far from close to them. Or at least, she said she was. Luke was willing to bet his blue cap that the smile on her face as she stood with her parents at the front of the room was a lot more real than she would like to admit.
Regardless, a renewal of wedding vows was an occasion that demanded her presence, and unless he wanted to be ostracized (Jeez, I'm so bored that I'm using big words. Bring me a crossword puzzle, I'm a step away from counting the ceiling tiles) from the family forever and forced to endure both Lorelai and Rory begging with him to come, he knew he had better put on his only suit and make with the fake smiles.
What is it about rich people that they feel the need to renew their vows? He was sure it was just another mystery of the upper class he was destined to never solve. He didn't get it. He was admittedly a very private guy who still cringed at the memory of the tackiness of marrying a woman he didn't love on a cruise ship, but still. Any excuse to throw an elaborate party, he guessed.
If ever he did get married again, he would insist on a simple affair where he could wear whatever he liked and have the reception at the diner. Yeah, somehow I can't picture Lorelai going along with that idea…
Luke vigorously shook his head, drawing the attention of the people seated to his right. Where did that come from? Sure, he cared about Lorelai, probably more than about any other woman, but his divorce wasn't even a year old yet and, if he was honest with himself, he wasn't sure how committed she was to the relationship.
Luke winced, took a deep breath to try to pull himself together and made an effort to push the thought out of his mind. He didn't want to think about the off-ness of Lorelai's attitude in the last couple of weeks. In most ways, her knew her as well as he knew himself, but there were still some instances where she was a total mystery to him. He could always tell when she was being deliberately evasive or outright untruthful, but he couldn't figure out what was bothering her this time and lacked the guts to come out and ask her. Too afraid of what I'll find out, I guess, he thought.
He let his gaze wander around the room, taking in the workmanship in the mouldings and the elaborate clock on the wall. He absently noticed that he hadn't been paying attention to anything the judge who was performing the ceremony had said in the past five minutes. He toyed with the idea of faking an elaborate yawn, complete with obscenely obvious arm movements, just to see how many stern glances he could attract his way. His lips curved into a smirk as he imagined Emily's horrified expression. He glanced at the back of her head and considered glaring at her until she felt the weight of this stare and was forced to turn around. Yeah, real mature. What am I, five?
He shook himself slightly to clear his mind of his childish thoughts and glanced to the left of Emily, where Lorelai stood. God, she looks amazing. She was mesmerizing, even from the back. Even from halfway across the room, he could tell that she was wearing a thong under her clingy dress. He felt his mind go blank and the heat set in as he imagined what he hoped would happen after this god-awful ceremony was over. He was a little fuzzy on the details for the moment, what with the blood slowly draining out of this head, but he was hoping it would involve him slowly sliding his hands up her thighs and lightly grazing her butt before ripping the dress off and plunging hot into her.
His thoughts were quickly escalating to indecent levels when a movement out of the corner of this eye distracted him and brought him crashing back down to Earth. He focused and noticed the man in front of him shifting suspiciously in his seat. He followed the direction of his gaze and noticed that it was focused on…Lorelai. Ah, jeez!
Enough with the dirty thoughts about his girlfriend, they were apparently contagious. Could this stupid ceremony be any longer? This isn't an actual wedding! He wondered if anyone would notice if he nodded off right then and there. He could just close his eyes, take deep breaths and use the monotonous tone of the judge to lull himself off to sleep. Or, better yet, he could fake a coughing fit and leave the room so as not to bother anyone. How considerate…It was fortunate that he chose that exact moment to look back towards the front of the room; Lorelai had turned around and was looking at him with a half-smile on her face and a knowing look in her eyes. I'm sure she knows what's going through my mind…I wonder if she knew what was going on in it about 30 seconds ago?
He returned her smile and not-so-subtly raked his eyes up and down her body. She knew what he was doing and a change came over her…her smile became more intimate, her pose more seductive. The heat rose again, because he knew that it was just for him; this time he didn't care if anyone else was staring. Let them look, for all I care. Tonight she's going home with me.
Or so he thought.