Lalli couldn't sleep. As a night scout he was pretty much nocturnal, but that wasn't the only reason he was unable to fall asleep this night. Tomorrow was yule and for the first time in years he would meet the people he had travelled into the Silent World with. He, Onni and Tuuri had arrived the day before, found their hotel and pretty much gone to sleep right away. Lalli could almost hear the two sleeping in the other room.

Lalli rolled onto his back, looked at the ceiling. The paint was exfoliating in places and the room looked pretty worn, but they hadn't had much to choose from. Everyone in the whole world seemed to have decided to celebrate yule in Mora this year.

Eight years, Lalli thought, so much has changed since then.

Lalli still worked as a night scout, his life hadn't changed much. He had let his hair grow out, kept it in a pony tail. Onni told him he looked more and more like their grandmother for every day, Lalli wasn't sure if it was good or bad.

Onni on the other hand, he had taken a more offensive role in the military, he had found a wife, he had gotten two kids. Twins. Lalli wrinkled his nose when he thought of them. He didn't like them. Tuuri told him he had to get used to it. She was expecting as well. Lalli didn't know who the father was and Tuuri didn't care to tell him.

Reynir still showed up in his sanctuary from time to time, but had learned to stay out until he was invited. In return Lalli had started inviting him more and more often. Reynir had told him about the academy in Iceland, had worked in the Norwegian army for a year and then moved back to the farm.

Lalli didn't know what Sigrun and Mikkel had been up to, he hadn't heard anything from them. Emil on the other hand... They had kept in touch a little, Emil had sent him so many letters, Lalli had answered a few of them. He had gone back to the cleansers, had gotten promoted, gotten fired, gotten hired again and gotten promoted once more. Then, three years ago, the letters had stopped coming. Lalli had sent almost a hundred letters the first few months, trying to get in touch with him again, and after a while gotten a single answer.

Forget me.

Lalli couldn't forget. Emil had been the first person who tried to befriend him on his terms, he couldn't just let that go. But there was little he could do from Finland and in the end they had fallen out of touch. And then, one month ago, Tuuri had told him they were going to Sweden for yule, to meet up with the old crew.

"Will Emil be there?"
"I... uh... I don't know. I guess so, since Torbjörn and Siv is arranging it."

Tuuri had showed him on a map where they were supposed to go the next day and he had memorized the map, just like he always did. He looked at the watch, kicked off his cover and sat up. Today was the first day since forever he'd get to see Emil.

He got dressed, Tuuri had picked out his clothes and he stared in disbelief at the antlers she wanted him to wear. He let out a sigh and put them on, before leaving the room. The receptionist wished him a merry yule and he muttered a thank you before heading out in the freezing air. It was snowing and he almost smiled, almost choked. Emil enjoyed snow, although he enjoyed building giant bonefires to melt it even more.

The walk was short and he quietly knocked on the door, not expecting anyone to open and was surprised when it did. Siv looked older, her hair graying, and she looked confused at him. After a couple of seconds her face lit up, Lalli noticed it being more relaxed than it had been eight years ago.

"Merry yule, Lalli. You're here early."

"I can go again."

"Where?"

Lalli shrugged and Siv smiled, stepped aside to let him in. He kicked off his shoes and she led him into the living room. She gestured towards the sofa, but he sank down in a corner instead, looked around the room. It was filled with decorations, some that seemed as old as time and some that seemed to have been made recently. Siv looked at him.

"The others won't be here for at least six hours, is that okay?"

Lalli nodded, blushed and looked at her.

"You don't mind?"

"I don't mind. I won't even ask why. Emil's not here though."

"He's coming?"

Hope flared up in Lalli's chest and he was certain Siv could see it in his face.

"He said he'd try."

The hope went out just as quick as it had flared up and Lalli nodded.

"Thanks."

Siv sat down in the sofa, picked up a book and Lalli looked at her, listened to the sounds of the building. It was calmer than the last time he had been there, somehow older. At seven people started moving in the house. Three people ran into the living room and Lalli straightened up, looked at the oldest of the three.

He looked just like Emil had done the last time Lalli saw him. Almost shoulder lenght, golden hair, well cared for. A little pudgy, but not in a bad way, more in a way that suited him. The person turned towards him and Lalli sank back down. The eyes weren't right. Emil's eyes were softer, a lighter shade of blue.

"I didn't think anyone would be here already. You're one of the Finns, right?"

Lalli nodded and the boy smiled.

"Lalli, right? Cousin Emil used to talk so much about you."

Used to. Lalli looked away. Maybe Emil had forgotten him, done what Lalli could not.

"No opening the gifts yet", Siv called from the kitchen and the the teenagers stopped, looked at each other and darted to the kitchen. Lalli stayed in the living room. At nine Siv came back out and put a bowl of porrige next to him, but he ignored it. She asked if he wanted something else, but he shook his head and she returned to her family. The Three Terrors, all a lot calmer now than they had been eight years ago, returned to the living room to play games while Siv and Torbjörn finished preparing for the party.

At eleven Tuuri and Onni arrived. Lalli listened as they talked with Siv and Torbjörn, listened as Onni and The Terrible Threesome teased each other, heard Onni telling the others that Reynir would be unable to come. Iceland had increased security again. Lalli didn't care, it wasn't Reynir he was hoping to meet. An hour later Sigrun and Mikkel arrived as well, both looking a lot older than Lalli thought they would.

Sigrun's red hair was starting to turn white, she had scars on her face and her legs from battles. Mikkel's face was wrinkly, tired, and he limped, supported himself with a cane as he walked. Both of them tried to talk to Lalli, but he couldn't focus on the the conversations, his eyes and ears constantly focusing on the door. The pile with presents grew beside him and Tuuri tried to get him to open them, but he couldn't.

"Are you in one of your moods again? I thought you had grown out of them."

Lalli couldn't answer. She left his side again, he heard her talk to Mikkel about the baby that was due in a month. She looked happy talking about it, pulled her fingers through her hair, patted her stomach. Mikkel smiled during the conversation, but his eyes clouded over slightly. Lalli looked curiously at the older man, but didn't move, didn't say anything. At six Mikkel and Sigrun left again, both invited to another party with some of Mikkel's old colleagues. Tuuri and Onni stayed, ate together with the others and Lalli clenched his hands, looked at the floor.

He wasn't coming. Maybe he had heard that Lalli would be there, maybe that's why he stayed away.

"Hey."

A bright red box came into Lalli's view and he looked up from the floor. He was thinner, his hair longer and half of his face was pink, wrinkled, damaged, and his eyes uncertain, soft. Lalli would recognise those eyes anywhere.

"Hey..."

He accepted the box, put it together with the other unopened gifts. Emil's hand was still stretched out towards him and Lalli noticed that it was as burned as his face. Lalli accepted the hand, saw Emil's face scrunch up as he pulled Lalli to his feet. Lalli felt the antlers slip off his head but didn't care since Emil's hand didn't let go of his, and he lifted his other hand, let it trace along Emil's damaged cheek.

"Your face..."

"I got caught in a fire."

Emil looked away and Lalli pulled his fingers through Emil's hair. Emil smiled sadly.

"It hides my face easier like this."

"I missed you. I couldn't forget you."

Emil's hand grabbed Lalli's, pulled it down, squeezed it.

"I didn't want anyone to see me like this."

"I don't care."

Emil looked towards the ceiling, at the wall above Lalli.

"Mistletoe", he whispered and Lalli smiled slightly.

"Yeah..."

Emil let go of Lalli's hands, took a step forward and Lalli instinctively took a step back but lifted his hands, rested them on Emil's back, pulled him closer. Emil's fingers buried into Lalli's hair and Lalli lifted one of his hands, buried it in Emil's golden locks, felt one of Emil's hands trace his back. Warm breath hit Lalli's lips, soft lips connected to his and Lalli's knees felt weak.

Too soon Emil pulled away, his face red. Lalli let go of him, looked at his feet, breathed heavily and then Emil pulled him closer again, leaned his forehead against Lalli's.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too. Did you really think I could forget?"

"I hoped you would. Can you forgive my selfishness?"

Lalli grabbed his cheek, placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"There's nothing to forgive. Just don't do it again."

"I won't."

Emil sat down on the floor and Lalli sank down next to him, picked up the red box and leaned against Emil's shoulder.

"I didn't get anything for you..."

Emil placed a kiss on Lalli's head, wrapped an arm around you.

"Seeing you was the only gift I wanted."