I somehow made it better yay! So yeah, I decided to iron this story out. There were some stupidly written sentences with stupid tenses so I figured since I have nothing better to do, I rewrite it.
I rewrote it too because of the new found information about our dear Lizzy. And that it's spelled Lizzy and not Lizzie)
Honestly, though, I forgot about this story. I was only reminded of it when I opened my neglected email and there were about fifty emails about this one. So here it is, brand new. I hope you like it. Leave me something to let me know how I did and if there was another stupid tense that I didn't see.
"Lady Elizabeth," Paula said, trying to snap her master out of her deep thoughts. She had been quiet throughout the carriage ride. Lizzy was staring out the window as green trees blur in the carriage's movement.
They were nearly very close to the Middleford estate.
That's good, Lizzy thought. She needed time to think, a sanctuary that was quiet, and comforting. She needed an escape what had happened earlier... God, how she needed to forget that.
And their carriage was doing everything except give her what she needed. The old thing rattled and jumped and creaked as it sped toward Lizzy's home. The driver seemed intent on driving through the bumpiest routes.
Lizzy sighed dejectedly. How much longer could she stay nonchalant before she explodes from depression? She was supposed to be happy that day.
Except that she wasn't.
Sighing again (she noticed that she had been doing that more often these days), she looked looked at her servant. Paula had her hair down, flowing at both sides of her pretty frame. Her warm chestnut eyes had a worried expression.
Lizzy hated it when people worried about her. It wasn't like she could not defend herself. She fenced, for God's sake!
When her mother brought home a new servant when she was just ten years old, Lizzy couldn't be more happy. Finally, she had thought, someone who would never leave my side!
And Paula never did. That was why Lizzy was so kind to her. She gave her servant glamorous gifts, invited her to sit when she was eating— she did every last thing that her father did to her.
Lizzy's father spoiled her, you see, though he never let his wife know it.
Paula, at first, was appalled. She was shocked that her master, daughter of the leader of the British knights, was giving her brand new clothes and sweet pastries. She thought she was a slave.
But Lizzy treated her with love and not with authority. She treated Paula as her friend because she was.
Sometimes though, Lizzy grew jealous of sweet Paula.
It was just that her servant always seemed so vibrant and happy and carefree. It wasn't like Lizzy wasn't vibrant or happy or carefree, it was just that... Ciel was not.
Whenever she visited, Lizzy saw to it that she was wearing the most beautiful dresses and that it had pretty and cheerful colors. The reason being: to bring back Ciel's smile, and finally make him happy.
But what good did her pretty colored-dresses do? Did it even make a difference? Sure, Ciel smiled.
But she knew, oh, how she knew those sweet smiles—that she assumed was for her—were fake.
Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Middleford was trained to be a lady, and ladies weren't dumb. Ladies weren't stupid.
Lizzy knew that whenever she came by, Ciel became irritated. She saw it in the way he flinched in the sight of her, and how he struggled under her embrace.
But she kept coming, because she still hoped that if she stayed with Ciel long enough, he would find the courage to open up to her.
And when he does, she'd feel less alone; lied to. She figured that she'd know what to say when he tells her his problems, and that she'd make him happy, like a wife makes her husband happy.
But, she had gone through so much.
She was almost eaten by a bear; she almost drowned, all for the sake of seeing Ciel Phantomhive smile.
Oh, that smile of his, how she missed it so much.
Ciel's smile was none like she ever seen. His smile was… contagious. It's the kind that when you see it, the sadness, the pain, the exhaustion in your heart, they all suddenly fade away… in that single moment you see Ciel Phantomhive smile.
Somehow, a part of her still hoped to see that smile that seemed brighter than any star.
But at the same time, a part of her wanted to just give up— to accept those fake smiles that she receives as response to her cheerful ones— to cope with the truth that Ciel's smile has burned into ashes along with his parents…
...with everything he held dear.
Lizzy looked at everything except Paula's unnerving, worried gaze. She muttered, annoyed: "What is it Paula?"
If Paula noticed the irritation in her master's voice, she didn't show it. "Uh, it's just that… you're too… quiet, Uh, today. Is it because of what happened a while ago?"
Something cold dropped in her stomach and tears prickled her eyes. She took a sharp breath and for once in her life, Lizzy wanted to order her servant to shut the hell up.
Why did she have to remind me of that?
"Uh, yeah, sort of, I guess."
It was a pain. And no one wanted to be reminded of pain.
"Ciel! I'm here! Do you know what day it is today?" Elizabeth bounded to the big wooded doors, with Paula trailing slowly after her. She was running to Ciel, who was busy writing something on a paper on his desk.
Giddiness bubbled in her chest and it was making it hard to breathe. But Lizzy did not mind. In every skipping step she radiated pure, unadulterated happiness.
She pulled Ciel up and hugged him ever so tight, suffocating him in the process. As always. "E-Elizabeth… I-I can't b-breathe!"
"Oh, I'm sorry!" She let go of him and studied his face. Noticing the purple circle around his eye, she raised a delicate eyebrow her happiness toned down because of sudden worry.
"Ciel, have you been sleeping late again?"
"No, and if I were, it's none of your business," Ciel snapped, rolling his eye at her.
Lizzy was hurt by what seemed to be an insult on her being left out of everything, but she remained smiling.
"Oh, okay, then." She said, trying so hard to keep the tear gates closed. "But I think, you should get more sleep, look at you, you're—"
Ciel slapped her hand away coldly as she was about to touch the purple circle by his eye.
"Don't ever touch me so freely again," he spat tersely, venom dripping from every word. He walked back up to his chair and sat down.
An awkward silence passed between the three, for Paula was left shocked, too.
Lizzy stood there and stared blankly at Ciel. Her fiancée didn't even acknowledge her anymore. He kept scribbling away on his desk, but it seemed to Lizzy that he wasn't writing any coherent word at all. She could tell from where she was that Ciel was only pretending to be busy.
He was dressed up, too. He wore something regal and formal and it looked like he was going somewhere important.
Ciel wore a suit that was like any other he had worn, but there was something different about it. Like it was meant to be worn on a very important cause. It was dark blue and it showcased his porcelain skin. His hair, though bluish, contrasted with the apparel. His pants were cut just above his knee, as usual. His hair shone because of the sunlight flitting through the window.
To cut it short, Ciel looked downright gorgeous.
He was gorgeous that day because he was going somewhere. Some place that Lizzy had no business in.
She realized then and there that it was a mistake coming there at the Phantomhive Estate after all.
"I-I'm—" she started to say, but as if on cue, Sebastian stepped inside with a cart filled with pastries and tea.
"Oh, good morning, Lady Elizabeth, would you like some tea?" he asked cheerfully, an effervescent smile plastered on his beautiful face. He was already pouring jasmine tea onto a blue porcelain cup.
Sebastian was dressed up, too. He wore his usual butler uniform, it seemed, but it was a different color that time. Usually, the color of his suit was midnight black, now, it looked like black that was tinted majestically with the most stunning shade of blue.
It looked like Ciel and Sebastian were going to a party of some sort.
The tea and the pastries looked hastily set up, like he had done it just a second ago. Like they were not expecting her at all when she sent a telegram three days before that she would be coming.
Where are the other servants anyway? she thought. Finny wasn't there to welcome her in the gardens. Maylene wasn't there to receive them by the door. And she could not hear Bard breaking every single expensive plate in the kitchen.
Where was everyone?
"Are you going somewhere?" she wanted to ask, but could not say the words. She was afraid of the answer and the words itself tasted bitter on her tongue.
"Uh, good morning to you, too, Sebastian, well I was just—"
"…she's just leaving," Ciel stated monotonously.
"Ciel—"
"Young master, it's very rude to talk to a lady like that," Sebastian scolded lightly, smiling uneasily at Lizzy.
"Well, she was the one running in my house with no permission and—"
"Young master!" Sebastian's voice almost sounded angry.
"Uh, Sebastian, it's alright, I was just leaving, I just want to give this to Ciel," Lizzie went up to the desk cautiously. Every step felt like torture. It was as if she was walking across a mixture of oil and water. She had a hard time staying upright.
Ciel looked at it briefly and asked, "What is it?"
"They're movie tickets, eight of them."
"For what?" he asked with all the feigned interest in the world.
Lizzy gulped audibly. She did not want to speak. A lump formed in her throat and it was beginning to itch.
She struggled with herself for a moment before finally saying: "Well, uh, it's kind of my birthday today, and I wanted all of us to watch a movie together…one for you, one for me, one for Sebastian, one for Paula, and the rest for the other servants…don't you remember? I included that in the telegram."
It was the hardest words she ever had to say. It felt like rocks in her mouth mixed with pieces of metal and sand.
She could not continue like this. She needed to get home.
She needed to get away from here. Heck, she'd pick hell over this painfully awkward and seemingly infinite predicament.
Sebastian looked at both Lizzy and Ciel with a questioning look.
Ciel looked at the movie tickets, guilt building up in his eye. His face was red from embarrassment. "Lizzy, I—"
I'm sorry? Was he going to say he was sorry?
Anger, that was the last thing she thought she'd be able to feel for Ciel. But there it was, eating her up inside, chewing on everything she thought they both shared.
Was she really going to get married with this... this jerk?
"Elizabeth," she stated, feigning indifference, "I am too old for silly pet names."
Ciel looked at her as if he wasn't fooled, but he relented to her request anyway. "Elizabeth, I'm sorry I forgot, I—"
He forgot? He for—got? Lizzy was practically screaming in her mind. What kind of excuse was that? You've known me for years and you forgot my birthday? I never forgot yours! Not when you left! Not when you refuse to celebrate it!
She never thought she would be this humiliated. She felt like Ciel had just stripped her of her clothes and forced her to walk in the streets naked.
Actually, she wanted Ciel to do just that instead of humiliating her like he had.
She felt like bursting into ashes; disintergrating.
"No," Lizzy shook her head, "I'm the one who's supposed to be sorry, I was the one running in your house with no permission and disturbing your work… So, I'm really really sorry." Lizzy bowed apologetically, which was probably a bad idea because she felt like throwing up yesterday's breakfast.
She turned to her servant who was so pale she would've laughed it weren't for the situation. She fought to let her voice shake as she said: "Well, we should be going now, right, Paula?"
She heard Ciel stood from his chair, but Lizzy was already walking out the door.
She never thought she'd turn her back to Ciel— ever. But there she was, walking away from the most important person in her life.
"Lizz—Elizabeth!"
She felt hurt. Like, really, really hurt. It was that kind of pain that kept people up at night, made them skip meals and urged them to commit suicide.
It was that kind of pain that ate your soul up alive.
She knew there were more people on earth that were experiencing worse pain that her patty heartbreak but this was her problem.
And it hurt. Like. Hell.
Lizzy turned around and smiled (it was the hardest thing she ever had to do, smile when she felt like crumbling to dust), "It's okay, really. You can do anything you want with the tickets, burn them if you want to…"
And then she was off, tears flowing uncontrollably from her eyes.
"No," Lizzy lied, "I'm just… tired."
"Oh," was all that Paula could say. Lizzy didn't hear anything else from her servant.
Well, what the hell do you say?
Silence hung the air and Lizzy swore that if silence like that was a physical thing, it would have suffocated them both.
But before they knew it, they were already home.
Stepping out of the carriage, Elizabeth said: "Do you think Ciel would be happy if I, you know, disappear?"
Paula shot her master a panicked look. "Of course not, Earl Phantomhive isn't like that."
Lizzy smiled at Paula's attempt to hide the hesitation in her answer and replied: "Because I think it'll be better for him if I were… gone."
"What makes you say that?"
"I… I just know."
The two of them walked up to the mansion, barely noticing the noise coming from the inside… and when they entered...
"Happy Birthday!" voices greeted.
Everyone was there, Lizzy's parents, Edward, Soma, Agni, Finny, Bard, Maylene, Mr. Tanaka, Sebastian, and even Ciel.
Lizzy's jaw dropped at the sight of everyone. The mansion was filled with cute decorations and everyone was wearing cute outfits, pastries of every kind on a table by the staircase.
Is this a dream? Lizzy asked herself.
And before she knew it, Ciel was in front of her. He tapped her forehead lightly.
"Hey," He smiled that bright smile. Her heart burst with joy and tears streamed her cheeks again.
And somehow, Elizabeth Middleford knew that that smile of him was for her and her only.
"H-Hi," she stammered clumsily.
They threw me a surprise party? So that's why Ciel and Sebastian were all dressed up!
She couldn't take it. Even though Ciel forbid her to touch him again without permission, she slammed herself into his chest. Ciel laughed softly.
"Why are you crying? You should be happy. It's your birthday, after all." Ciel held her shoulders and positioned her upright so they were face to face.
"I-I am happy," she whispered, "I'm happy that you didn't really forget."
Ciel smiled again and said, "How could I forget?" He wiped her tears away, looped hir arms with hers and escorted her to everyone.
"Everyone, thank you!" Lizzy said, bowing. Everyone then proceeded into eating and conversing after greeting her their individual "Happy Birthday!"s.
Throughout all that, Ciel never left her side.
After a few moments, the Phantomhive servants approached her.
"You shouldn't be thanking us, Lady Elizabeth, thank the young master, he was the one who planned this!" Finny said cheerfully, raising his arms and gesturing wildly in the air.
Lizzy turned to Ciel abruptly, "Planned?"
He just shrugged.
"Yep! He told us to wake up early and head to your house to decorate it after you leave," Bard said, a yawn slipping between his words. "You see, he knew you were coming to the Phantomhive estate so early. But... I think he forgot something."
Lizzy tilted her head slightly. "Forgot what?"
Sebastian coughed into his fist, "He forgot that you were coming because you wanted to watch a movie. That was why Young master panicked a while ago."
"Shut up!" Ciel barked at his butler, who, in turn, just smiled at him.
"So... so that's why!" She caught herself practically drowning in relief.
Thank God he didn't really forget. But there's something I need to say...
"Ciel, I'm sorry I doubted y—"
Ciel shook his head, "It's fine Lizzy. It's part of the surprise, I guess."
"I'm sorry too," he said after a while, "that I acted like that. I was just surprised that you came earlier than I expected and that thing with the movie tickets."
Lizzy smiled brightly up at him.
"It's fine, Ciel. I can't stay mad at you for anything."
Ciel smiled at her knowingly. She could tell that he was pleased by what she said.
Oh, how she wanted to kiss him at that moment.
But that would have been highly inappropriate. A lady should not be that reckless.
So she decided that she would wait— wait for the time that Ciel kisses her in his own accord.
"I actually thought you forgot!" she exclaimed when they were finally alone, standing beside each other on the Middleford estate's wide balcony with the red and the white roses.
"Of course, I couldn't possibly forget my fiancée's birthday, now could I?" With those words did Ciel manage to lift up her mood even more. It made her heart flutter in happiness when he called her his fiancée.
He looked directly at her eyes as he scooped her hand and kissed it lightly. "Happy Birthday, Lizzy."
Yes, maybe that wasn't the kiss she was hoping for, but it was great, too. That simple gesture was enough to send her heart into beating madly right out of her chest cavity.
Honestly, Ciel is going to be the death of me.
The whole party went fine, there were a couple of food fights here and there, Ciel screaming for Sebastian… (because he was playing with Lizzy's pet cat and was completely ignoring his master) it was mediocre for anyone, but for Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Middleford, it was the greatest.
But not as great as Ciel's gift. It was Bitter rabbit, the Funtom Company's bestselling toy … but with a twist. It had a little eye patch on his right eye.