Disclaimer: Pixie called for Humor. Lozie obliged. I'm probably going to update O-BB in the RENT section after this, but there's also the Novel that's been killing me, so I'm going to have to work on that, too. RENT's probably going to be looking pretty angsty, it's an angsty show. Wicked is not mine. And a note about Avaric, this is Musicalverse but Avaric is not a servant. So, yeah. Story Time! -LostOzian
"You ready?" he asked her.
"I think so," Elphaba said. "I mean… we've been planning this for a long time. I have to be ready." He placed a hand on her shoulder.
"If you're uncomfortable, you don't have to go through with this," he said. "I'd rather call this whole thing off than make you uncomfortable."
"No, I don't want to back out," Elphaba told him. "I think it'll be worth it in the end."
"Only if you're ready…" He waited for her to give the word.
"I'm ready," she said. He nodded.
"Only if you're sure."
Prince Fiyero Tiggular of the Vinkus woke up to a beautiful sunny morning. He sat up and stretched, checking his clock for the time. Wow, a whole forty-five minutes before class started. Perfect, he thought. I can arrive on time! That'll surprise Elphaba. With that happy prospect on his mind, he got up and started his morning routine.
Just as he was locking his door and about to leave for class, the door three down on the left slammed open with a loud bang. A girl with Boq's legs firmly locked around her waist stumbled out, trying not to fall over with the weight of the Munchkin kissing her. Fiyero stopped short. The girl had green skin.
The only way to describe what went on in Fiyero's usually underused mind is that it broke. Elphaba kissing anyone would have been enough, but Elphaba kissing Boq was enough to do some serious damage. She stumbled toward a wall, pinning Boq against it. They broke for air, continuing to look into each other's eyes. Boq let go of her with his legs, and his toes dangled a few inches above the floor. After another few seconds, Elphaba let him down so he was standing.
Fiyero's mind…
"We've lost everything!" Motor Functions said. "Movement, speech, I think the two cranial hemispheres aren't speaking to one another…"
"All right," Reason said. "Ego, get the misshapen halves of this kid's brain communicating. Motor, start working on getting speech online."
"This is bad," Attraction said. "Elphaba was the only think keeping him at Shiz, what is he going to do?!"
"Well, he'll have to find a replacement for the sexiest cucumber to walk the halls," Motor Functions, deftly reattaching various cords with a screwdriver.
The pair turned to look at Fiyero.
"Why, Boqie-boo, I do believe that's a pretty Yero," Elphaba said sweetly.
Motor Functions cursed as Attraction started bouncing off the walls. "Now we'll never get anything online, that one sentence fried just about every cable down here!"
"Missie Elphie, I do believe you're right," Boq said. "He appears to be standing there motionless."
"I do believe could draw a mustache on his face," Elphaba said.
"I do believe that would be rather humorous," Boq said.
"Well, the halves are talking to each other again, but they don't know what to say," Ego returned with a report. "But if he doesn't say something, those two are going to make him look like an idiot!"
"I got it!" Motor Functions crowed, waving chewing gum and chocolate in the air. "Speech is online!"
"Say something!" Ego pleaded.
"N-Nessa…?" Fiyero choked out. Boq and Elphaba looked at each other.
"Nessa," Elphaba repeated. "My dearest sister."
"He asks for her," Boq said. "I think that means he's in love with her."
"That's a perfectly rational assumption," Elphaba said. "We should go tell her."
"Now look what you've done!"Ego shouted at Reason. "I knew we should have said something about Elphaba!"
"Nessa was the logical one to worry about! She loves Boq!" Reason argued. "Anything about Elphaba wouldn't have made sense!"
"Shall we?" Boq offered his arm to Elphaba.
"Let's," Elphaba took his arm, and they started skipping off down the hall together.
"We're off to go find Nessa!" they started singing. "The governor's daughter at Shiz!" They reached the stairwell, and disappeared behind the door.
"Speech fully online!"Motor Functions shouted out.
"WHAT IN OZ WAS THAT!?" Fiyero's thoughts turned into rather loud words. "BOQ! ELPHABA!"
"Shut up, freak!" someone from another dorm shouted. "I don't have to be up 'til two this afternoon, I'd like to sleep until then!"
"No, but Boq! And Elphaba!" Fiyero continued. "And they were… They… he…"
"We've got logic!" Motor Functions announced.
Oh, dearest Oz. If Elphaba and Boq were in the same room this morning, they had probably been in the same room last night… And last night…
No. Oh, bad, nasty words, NO!
"And movement!" Motor Functions shouted. "Ooh yeah, who's good, I'm good, yeah…"
Fiyero barreled down the hallway at full speed, barely pausing to open the door to the stairwell, and even then running into the opposite wall before managing to turn and continue his mad rush down the stairs.
"Oh, what happened to the grace he was so famous for?!" Ego groaned.
"It's going to be months before we get that back online, my pretty," Motor Functions said. "Just be glad he's moving at all."
Fiyero shot out of the dorm complex into the beautiful sunshine, decidedly not enjoying this morning as much as he had about five minutes ago. Nessa, he had to get to Nessa before Boq and Elphaba did! Or if he just found those two, he could explain it all and maybe get some answers as to why they're suddenly making their lips work out. This is bad, this is bad, where are they, this is bad- WAIT! Further up the sidewalk, there was a person in a wheelchair being pushed by someone else.
"Nessa!" Fiyero shouted, running toward the younger Thropp. "NESSA!"
"That sounds like Fiyero," Nessa's chair-pusher said in a Gillkinese accent. Fiyero stopped short. The person pushing Nessa's chair had surgical gauze taped over her eyes, a pair of dark sunglasses to cover up the worst of it, and was wearing a navy blue skirt with a black-and-white striped blouse and a cheetah-print scarf. He almost convinced himself it wasn't her, but there was no mistaking the head full of blonde curls. Galinda.
"Yes, it is Fiyero," Nessa said. "He's a bit to our left, no, your other left, but he's off of the sidewalk, so it's best to keep moving and let him catch up with us."
"What does he look like?" Galinda asked, not having moved her head an inch to look for him.
"Well, he's standing really still, and breathing very hard, so he's been running. Attractive as he usually is, but his hair is messed up. It looks like he had put effort into it, though, so it's a shame that it got messed up." Nessa described, before instructing, "You're drifting right, Galinda, just a hair to the left and you'll be dead center."
"Got it," Galinda said, adjusting Nessa's chair.
"What's going on?" Fiyero said. Galinda made a face, still staring straight ahead. The two girls were passing him, Nessa waving a little hello-goodbye and Galinda continuing to walk as if he wasn't there.
"Well, it all started about a month ago when I couldn't find my favorite pink nail polish," Galinda began. "I asked Elphie where it was, and she had said she had given it to ShenShen as a peace offering, because ShenShen was always stealing her essays and changing the name to 'Lizard Face' with permanent marker. Of course, I got mad, so I sprayed Elphaba's clothes with the latest scent of Bubbly by Wiz-tine, she can't stand the stuff, it reminds her of soap. So then she got mad, and she flushed the toilet while I was showering." Fiyero only then realized that Galinda wasn't going to stop walking, and Nessa wasn't going to tell her to stop, so he jogged to catch up with the pair.
"So then I got really mad, so I hid a special memento of her mother, it took her hours to find it. So then she got really mad, and twisted ketchup packets so they would burst easily, and hid them beneath my sheets so when I lay down they would pop all over my nice sheets, and that made me really really mad, so I hid eggs in her boots, so when she put them on the eggs broke, and then she got really really mad, and put ink over the toes of all my shoes, even the designer ones. I'm probably wearing a pair now, look." Fiyero looked down to see Galinda was wearing a pair of yellow heels with big black ink stains over the toes. And all of this started over a bottle of nail polish?
"Well, I was so distraught at the sight of my shoes all smeared with black ink that I found Elphie's letter opener and I cut my eyes." Fiyero stopped short.
"You what?!" Galinda smiled.
"Oh, I had wondered if you were actually listening to me," she said brightly. "Anyway, it might not be so bad, I can still feel the eyeballs in my eyes, it's just I can't see out of them."
"You… you cut your eyes?!" Fiyero could barely believe it.
"Yeah, I'm starting to regret it now, but it was an impulse" Galinda said. "Well, I just sat there in agony, Elphie disappeared off to somewhere, leaving me to try not to bleed all over the place. I haven't seen, well, heard, her since. Nessa showed up in the morning, and we shared a tear, well, she was the only one crying, but we were both really sad about my shoes, so we decided we would be each other's caretaker. I'll push the chair, and she'll make sure we don't run into anything."
Oz, spite this situation until he died! This changed everything! Now if he broke up with Galinda, everyone would say it was because she was blind and they'd call him insensitive, and Elphaba would never let Fiyero pursue her!
Which brought him back to the original point, of discovering that Elphaba and Boq had spent the last night together.
"Wait, Nessa, there's something I need to tell you-"
"Boq already mentioned it," Nessa said, finding Fiyero's hand grabbing onto it. "Honestly, if that's how you feel, I'd say give up a Munchkin and take a prince." Fiyero struggled a little, finding out that Nessa had a surprisingly strong grip.
"Um… Nessa? Galinda, Nessa is holding my hand, and she happens to be holding it rather tightly…" Fiyero hoped that Galinda would fly into some jealous rage and maybe slap the crippled one.
"No, that's okay," Galinda said. "I'm blind for crying out loud. I don't need a handsome prince. I mean, there might be someone out there who's chiseled and strong but ugly as hell. He'd be perfect for me. I can't see him, but he'll probably have a huge-"
"Thanks for your blessing, Galinda," Nessa cut the blonde off, tightening her hold on Fiyero's hand, which the prince had thought wasn't possible.
"Um…Actually… Nessa…" Fiyero was about to protest when Avaric walked up.
"Hello, everyone," he said pleasantly. "Miss Galinda, I can take the chair?"
"Master Avaric, it's a part of an agreement," Galinda said. "I push and she guides."
"Well, she could still guide if I pushed," Avaric said, gently placing one of Galinda's hands on the armrest of Nessa's chair. "There, you can still feel where she's going, and I can push." Fiyero looked Avaric over. What's he up to? He wouldn't just offer to push Nessa's chair like that!"
"How is everyone this morning?" Avaric asked. And he wouldn't ask how we are!
"Pretty good, pretty good," Galinda said.
"Today just feels great," Nessa said, giving Fiyero's hand an extra squeeze. "Right?"
Fiyero was about to respond: No, Nessa, I do not think today is going to be great. I wake up to find that my luscious lime was swapping spit with Boq, and in my shock they assume I'm in love with you, and that the girl that calls herself my girlfriend blinded herself! There is no way in Quox this day is going to be a great day!
Unfortunately, Fiyero did not say this, because he tripped over a rather inconvenient caterpillar, and fell flat on his face. Somehow, Nessa still managed to hold onto his hand, which was probably why he fell so spectacularly. Everyone stopped, and Galinda asked, "What? What happened? Did someone die?"
"No, Fiyero tripped over a caterpillar, and he's lying sprawled on the ground right now. I'm not sure if his arm is bent quite right, I do hope it is, but he's not exactly moving. We've stopped so we can wait for him to get up." Nessa descirbed.
There is no way this morning can get any worse, Fiyero thought as he started peeling himself up from the pavement.
He had no idea.