OVERTURE

A/N: This story is paired, in a way, with a previous story of mine, The Performance Anxiety. The idea is that the world begins more or less as in the previous story. But at a crucial point in the proceedings, the two worlds diverge, with powerful and important effects for all concerned. The remainder of the story will deal with their attempts to deal with the impact of this turn of events. I suppose that this is an exercise in tasting a bit of the many-worlds view of quantum mechanics.

The first four chapters are comparable to the first eight or nine chapters of The Performance Anxiety, with important and substantial differences. Even if you've read The Performance Anxiety (and remember it), you should start from the beginning.

And as an epigraph for this particular love story, I offer the lyrics to one of the more famous love songs of American musical theater:

If I loved you

Time and again I would try to say

All I'd want you to know

If I loved you

Words wouldn't come in an easy way

Round in circles I'd go

Longing to tell you but afraid and shy

I'd let my golden chances pass me by

Soon you'd leave me

Off you would go in the mist of day

Never, never to know

How I love you, if I loved you

"If I loved you," Carousel

ACT ONE

1. New beginnings

Penny cringed as she entered the doctor's office and noted that the waiting room was packed – even worse than the normal Friday afternoon rush. She approached the receptionist, gave her name, and settled in for a long wait. But only a few minutes later, she heard her name called. She approached the receptionist's window.

"Mrs. Hofstadter, Dr. Grossman apologizes. As you can see, we're very busy. She promises to see you when she can. Or you can reschedule, if you prefer."

"No, no," Penny said quickly. "I've come all this way, I might as well stay. I don't get over to the West Side that often. Traffic, you know."

The receptionist smiled warmly. "I sure do, I come in from Simi Valley. Can I get you something while you wait?"

"No, thanks, I'm good." Penny sat down again and looked around the room at all the pregnant women. Some were barely showing, others were apparently long overdue; some were alone, others with anxious-looking husbands or boyfriends.

Much as she had come to dislike her job, she had to admit that these past two weeks on the Ob-Gyn circuit had been fun. She'd had some really nice conversations with the women while she waited. And yet, the circuit was having another effect on her. She was feeling a strange and unaccustomed yearning. She kept trying to push it down, or away, but she knew what it was: she wanted to have a baby. Bernadette's pregnancy was part of it. Plus, with Amy and Sheldon finally getting into the sack, she felt it might be time to start thinking seriously about Leonard and her moving in together – and, more important, moving out and into a larger place. Maybe even a house. With a yard. …

The door of the office opened and a couple entered. Penny looked up, then did a double take. It was Diane Green and her husband, George Stein. She had read in the tabloids that they were expecting – this was, maybe, their third child. But here was Hollywood's most famous power couple in the same room as her. And, she noted with panic, headed toward her.

Green stopped in front of Penny, glancing at the empty seats on either side of the young blonde. "I'm really sorry, but do you think you could move over so that my husband can sit next to me? "

"Of course," Penny said hastily, moving herself and her things. Green sat down next to her, with Stein to her left, and flashed her trademark smile at Penny.

"Thanks. So, how far along are you?" she asked, and Penny marveled at how friendly and colloquial was her tone.

Penny laughed. "Oh, I'm not expecting. I'm just a pharmaceutical sales rep."

"Oh, sorry," Green laughed. "That's a relief. I was already hating you for looking so good. I feel like a whale. And not a pretty one, either."

Penny blushed a little. "You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, Ms. Green."

Before the woman could answer, her husband leaned over, eyeing Penny with a penetrating stare, and broke in. "Weren't you in Serial Apist 2?"

Green's eyes lit up with recognition, even as Penny felt herself blushing beet red. "Oh, God. I can't believe you saw that, Mr. Stein. It's so bad."

"No, no," Stein objected immediately, and Stone similarly shook her head. "Well, yes, it was awful. But Diane and I have watched it, and you."

"Really?" Penny was wide-eyed. The thought of the Green-Stein juggernaut seeing her in anything was overwhelming.

"Funny story," he continued. "One of our interns is obsessed with the movie – you know, in a cult-classic kind of way. He insisted I see it, so I did. It was everything he had said it was, so bad it was funny. I especially loved seeing Will Wheaton in an orangutan suit – and a bikini. But you know that we're always on the lookout for talent, and I liked what I saw from you. Not really in the role – everything about that movie was absurd – but there was something in your fresh-faced perkiness that really appealed to me. Sort of a "new raw talent from the sticks" look. So I had Diane see your scenes, too."

Green shook her head. "George can be a little blunt. I think what he'd like to say," she said, glaring at her husband, "is that we saw a new face in the film that we didn't know, and wanted to get to know. But there's only so much time in the day, so we haven't followed up. I'm glad we ran into you."

Penny was flabbergasted. "Oh, Ms. Green, Mr. Stein, I'm so flattered. You know, that film was the last straw for me; it was what led me to go into pharmaceutical sales. But I can't believe I made a positive impression on you. It's….it's overwhelming."

Green smiled kindly, as Stein shook his head. "Our job is to look for talent. Making it in this town involves a lot of luck. And I think maybe you and I being here today is one of those lucky coincidences." She looked quickly at Stein, who gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

"George and I are beginning work on a new project. Do you think you might want to read for us?"

Penny just stared at her, then came out of her daze with a start. "Of course! I'd be honored, Ms. Green. And Mr. Stein. Just tell me when and where."

"How about Monday afternoon, say 3?" Green said, looking at Stein. "Here's my card, the address is on the card. And it's Diane and George. And give me your coordinates," she added, pulling a pad from her purse. "It's not a cold read; we have a specific role in mind. We'll get you some scenes to work on for the reading."

"I'll be there!" Penny said, writing her data down quickly. "Thank you so much, Ms. – Diane; George," the young woman gushed, getting up.

Diane smiled warmly and stuck out her hand to shake. "Hope you don't mind if I don't get up," as George did rise to shake Penny's hand. "Until Monday," he said.

Penny walked quickly over to the receptionist and told her she'd see Dr. Grossman some other time, then waved to the couple as she left the doctor's office. Once out in the hallway, she leaned against the wall, breathless.

After she'd recovered, Penny walked slowly out of the building, and toward her car, then drove the two miles to the Third Street Promenade and parked there. She sat in her car for a few minutes, then called Leonard.

"Hey, beautiful," Leonard answered cheerily. "This is a pleasant surprise! To what do I owe it?"

"Hi, honey," Penny began. She took a deep breath. "I'm over in Santa Monica, near the beach. Let's have a nice dinner over here. It's been a long time since we've done something like that."

"Wow, what a romantic idea!" Leonard responded. "Am I dying?"

"Very funny. Seriously, can you make a reservation someplace nice? I have a couple of things I want to talk about with you."

"Uh, oh." Now Leonard sounded concerned.

"Will you relax? Just some ideas that I want to share with you," she said.

"Oh, OK. Maybe the Ivy? Let's see….it's now 4.30; I could be there by 7. Can you keep yourself busy until then? "

"I'll keep busy. Ivy at the Shore at 7 sounds perfect. See you then and there."

A few hours later, Leonard and Penny sat down at a corner table, the ivy of the restaurant's name wrapping itself around the trellis that surrounded them. It felt cozy, almost secluded.

Before they ordered, Penny took Leonard's hand in hers. "Sweetie, I really like the place we're in."

Leonard nodded, wondering what this was leading up to.

"I've been in Ob-Gyn offices for the last two weeks. And I spent the last couple of hours thinking about things. And if you're willing, I think it's time for us to start a family."

Penny saw the anticipated tears form in Leonard's eyes, and held his hand even tighter.

"You can't imagine how it makes me feel to know that you want to have children with me," he said through the tears. "I'm the luckiest man alive. I love you so much."

"I love you too, honey. Thanks for making me so happy."

After a few minutes, calmer now, they looked over the menu and ordered. A bottle of white wine arrived first and Leonard proposed a toast: "To our family. Soon may it grow."

"Hey!" he said. "The sooner you get pregnant, the sooner you can quit that job. I know you hate it."

Penny swallowed hard. "Funny you should mention that. I told you there were two things." And she told Leonard about the chance meeting in the doctor's office.

"Wow!" Leonard leaned back in his chair. "Congratulations! So now we have two things to celebrate! I should order a bottle of champagne," he said, picking up the wine list again. After an intent look, he put it back down. "I think we can probably do without the champagne at $150 a bottle. Jeez, I forgot how expensive this place was. After all, we have to start saving for college. Or maybe kindergarten."

Penny laughed, then became thoughtful. "Is that going to be an issue? I mean, especially with me stopping working. I've saved up a bunch, but do you think it will be enough? There's something else," and she told him how eager she was to have them live together – and to move out, maybe to a house.

"A house makes sense," Leonard agreed. "It does raise the question of how we're going to work things out with Sheldon. But I don't think money is a big problem. My job is secure these days, the guidance system looks very promising, and I have a couple of patents on the laser work that are starting to pay off. Plus if your acting career takes off, we'll be rich!"

"Don't count your chickens, Leonard. A part is still a long shot, and even if I got it, I doubt it would pay that much. It's probably a small part."

Leonard smiled. "Well, we can deal with that if it happens. Actually, we might want to think about whether doing both at the same time is such a great idea. After all, a baby is a lot of work, and a lot of stress; and a part would be, too. If you're on their radar screen, you'll stay on it."

He looked down at his plate and cleared his throat, and continued, a little fearfully. "You know, we could always wait to start trying to have a baby until after you're done with the film – I mean, if it comes through. We've waited a while, we can wait another little bit. A movie and a baby at the same time might be asking too much of you."

Penny shook her head vigorously. "I don't see a reason to postpone anything. After all, who knows how long it will take for me to get pregnant? And the reading Monday is only an opportunity."

Leonard nodded, uncertainly. "Well, if you think it makes sense to move forward on both fronts…."

Penny was a little annoyed at Leonard's caution. "I'm not pregnant, and it's only a reading. So why even worry about it?"

Leonard retreated, and they moved on to happy plans over dinner.

As they left the restaurant, Penny groaned. "After that romantic dinner, the last thing I want to do is get into my car and drive an hour back to Pasadena alone. Can we leave the car here and come back for it tomorrow?"

Leonard smiled. "This is your lucky night! I booked us a room at a little hotel down the road, right by the beach. I figured we could stay the night here. Maybe get started on our next project."

"What proj – oh, that one!" Penny said, her eyes widening. She hugged Leonard tight, yet again. "My romance ninja strikes again. Let's go to an inn by the sea and make a baby."

After retrieving their cars, Penny followed Leonard less than a mile down Ocean Avenue to a modest hotel called the Tides Inn, right on the beach. They checked in, got some travel toiletries from the front desk, and walked up to their room. It was a comfortable king on the second floor with a balcony facing the water.

Leonard settled in and texted Sheldon to tell him they wouldn't be home. As Leonard texted, Penny walked out onto the balcony. She saw her husband put his phone away, and called to him to join her. The couple stood holding hands, looking out on the beach.

"You can hear the waves break," Penny noted. "It's so peaceful. It's hard to believe we're in the city."

"I know. We should come to the beach more often."

"You? The beach? I thought you hated it."

Leonard raised his head and looked up at the moon. "Not any more. Now the beach will remind me of the woman I love telling me she wants to have my children."

"Oh, Leonard," Penny sighed, "you always know what to say."

They stood on the balcony for a while longer, the moonlight shimmering on the sea, the palm trees waving slightly in the breeze.

"How about we get started on that project?" Leonard suggested. And they headed inside.

When they got back home the next morning, they found that Green and Stein had sent some scenes from the script, which turned out to be based on a play that Leonard said was famous, After the Fall. This play, he explained, was seen as an autobiographical work by Arthur Miller, largely about his troubled marriage to Marilyn Monroe. The play was controversial in part because it was interpreted as a nasty attack on Miller's ex-wife, after they had divorced and she had committed suicide.

Penny had been reading the scenes, and she couldn't quite buy into this picture. Leonard had been working quietly in the bedroom, but now he came into the kitchen to get some coffee. He looked at her with some concern; she had been reading and pacing for two hours. Finally he had to ask.

"Everything all right?"

Penny nodded. "But this is going to be hard. I'm really not sure how I'm going to do it. So much emotion. But where is it coming from? How do I get to it?"

"What's the problem?" he asked, curious.

Penny shook her head. "I can't really figure it out. In these scenes, I guess I can see this as a really nasty attack on his ex-wife. But I'm not sure." She continued to pace.

"I would have to see the whole script, of course, but even here I get a different vibe. You could play her as an ignorant slut at first, and then as a whiny drug addict trying to nag him into coming back to her. But I don't think that's the only way of reading it. I think she's desperate for love at the beginning; and then, at the end, trying to get him to see why she's so damaged. I don't see her as pathetic, so much, more as love-starved. Tortured or tormented, especially toward the end. Right, that's it, tormented."

Leonard knew to keep quiet. She wasn't really talking to him, she was working things out to herself.

"Tormented because nobody really ever loved her for herself, not even her own mother. Because guys were only after her because she was, you know, Marilyn. But she was more than that, she was smart and ambitious and talented. But so damaged. And he saw the intelligence and the talent, but he didn't see the damage, he thought she was just taking things out on him. She was trying to get him to understand. Understand why she was drugged up all the time, why she couldn't face the crowds, why she needed him to take care of her. Right. Right. Get him to take care of her. There are times a girl just wants to be taken care of, even a big girl, even Marilyn. Wow."

Leonard could see the excitement on her face as she walked back and forth, gesturing. Suddenly she stopped.

"OK. Leonard, let's do this first scene." She sat down closer to him and put the first three or four pages on the coffee table where they could both see them. "You're Quentin. Now, this looks like it's where they first meet, at a bus stop." And they did the scene. Penny was a scatter-brained kid, trying hard to impress an older professional man. Leonard could sense the desperation beneath her breathless banter, the craving to connect. He was completely absorbed in her rendition.

"Yeah, I think that's the way to go," she said abruptly, as they came to the end of the scene. It pulled Leonard out of his trance. He had almost forgotten she was acting. But Penny seemed to be able to turn it on and off at will.

Penny looked back over the scene, took a pencil and made a few marks on the page, biting her lip as she went through it. She rifled through to the next scene and studied it for a while, as Leonard busied himself in the kitchen. Then she called Leonard over and put the pages on the coffee table.

"This must be a few years later. She's made it. In the play she's a singer – that's why Miller threw the references to music in up front, to foreshadow – and Quentin has been following her career, but they haven't been in touch. It's the first time they meet again."

This time, Penny was much more self-assured. But there was still a palpable desire to impress Quentin. There was a mix of a successful star and a young woman desperate to be with somebody. It was very touching. And again Penny brought the scene to an abrupt end even as Leonard was drowning in it. She marked up the pages a lot more this time, and sat deep in thought.

Penny shook her head. She had forgotten how exciting a new part could be, especially a good new part. Maybe, just maybe, this could be it?

"This is the third scene, Leonard. This is the hardest. It's really heart-breaking. You see how she's attacking him and pleading with him at the same time. I think it's clear to me. But it's so raw." She motioned to him to sit down and start the scene.

This time Penny was a blubbering mess, slurring her words. Then lashing out at him – rather, at Quentin – with some of the nastiest invective imaginable. Then back to a whimpering basket case. The remarkable thing, Leonard noted, was that it held together. You could see why a woman desperate to get her man back would shift back and forth between begging and berating. And how she tried so hard to get him to see how much she was suffering. It was painful to see how Quentin didn't get it.

The scene ended, and Penny leaned back on the couch, exhausted. Leonard looked at the clock. It was past 7; they'd spent the better part of six hours on the three scenes. He held her hand and rubbed her wrist gently.

"Maybe that's enough for today, Penny?"

She smiled at him and nodded. "Thanks for helping me, Leonard. You're so patient. Such a great husband." Her eyes lit up. "And you'll be such a great father."

Leonard's eyes immediately teared up, and Penny laughed. "You're such an easy cry. But I love you for it. How about we go out for a nice dinner and then start working on that other project of ours – starting a family?"