Masks
My lover... is my world. He's just perfect. Although some might not agree, what with his past, I think that he was simply confused. Sasuke is perfect.
Who couldn't think that as they lie beside him in bed, looking so angelic? So what if he disappeared for a few years, locked away in a mental hospital? So what if he's mentally screwed up by his pedophile of an Uncle? So what if he's a cold, rude bastard? The point is that his mean demeanor is a mask, as is my happy attitude. A simple mask, whisked away so easily by something that goes by the name love. He's laughed uncontrollably with me, and I've cried uncontrollably with him.
It was these masks that drew us to one another. Because when you've worn one for so long, it gets easier and easier to pick out people who are the same as you- who understand the unbearable loneliness, the empty space in your heart and the hot licks of fire that scorch your throat.
And so what if I've not worn short sleeved shirts for over two years? So what if I hit a vein once? So what if I hid my pain for so long? The point is that it's over now, because I've found a relief that works so much better than the numbness of a sliced wrist.
And I guess I've got a lot of points in this little passage right here, because another one is that holding in those terrible feelings only amplifies the pain. So much that it gets to the point... to where the only thing you can hear is nothing. The silence speaks louder than any bustling of the city. It's so loud, in fact, that the only way you think you can stop it is with death. Because it is constantly there, never pleased, never gentle with its words.
But I think I'm lucky. I'm lucky because I found an alternative to death- life. Not the simple beating of a heart, or thump of a pulse, but the feeling of love coursing thickly through your body, so strongly that you don't ever want to die. The source of my love is Sasuke. And I'm his.
So masks are okay every now and then. But like soda, or cake, or ramen, it is better to take a break from it for a while and settle on something better for you. Talking it out, water, an apple.
Everyone has a mask. And you have to find the courage to remove it when you need to.
Fin