My Thoughts Alone on a Wednesday Morning
*sigh* Love is what I want. What I want most in the world, so much that I fall in love with every endearing couple I see in television and video games and whatnot.
Is it so strange for a man to feel this way? To want to be able to hold something and to feel secure about its place in your world.
Maybe if I hadn't messed up the first time or the second time or the third time or the fifth time....maybe without the APD I would've found love....
Maybe if I had messed up still I could've found a way to fix it...Maybe...
But I still mess up every single time.
I will not accept my fate, even though I have already been resigned to a life bereft of meaningful companionship.
No one has ever been there for me, and no one will ever be there for me.
It's just me, whoever I can find on the Internet, and all the booze and weed I can get my hands on.
To drink it all away...
Could we have found love that time? Was it really so much to ask?
I suppose it is for a sick stalker...
I want to love someone and to be loved by someone.
I'm tired of being alone and can't imagine such feelings any longer.
I just hope that love finds me someday soon.
And so I turn to another Jalex fic because there are so many Seddie fics out there now.
I won't be here again tomorrow or the next day...
But maybe after that I'll be here again.
To think about all the crazy things I'd do for any girl who came my way...
(at least 16, preferably 18 or older, and somewhat/moderately attractive anyways)
Maybe Sam...Maybe if I hadn't messed up so many times we would be.....