Ganon's Day Off

Chapter 1

Ganon was chillin' in his castle, watching soap operas. "No, Daniel, don't do it!" Ganon shouted, "She's a conniving fool!"

Ganon was a laid-back guy, who just wanted one simple thing. It was to rule the world. Is that really too much to ask?

"Hmmmmm... what's in my Easy-Bake Oven?...," he checked his oven. "Just a dancing cupcake with jimmies." He called sprinkles 'jimmies' for some odd reason. He, then, closed his door and put his earphones for his mp3 player on.

Ganon decided to walk to Hyrule, singing to his music. "Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!"

He arrived to Hyrule, stopped singing, and walked into the bizarre bazaar. "I'll take a bag of coconuts. EVIL coconuts!!!!"

The shop owner didn't change his expression to what Ganon said, he just answer calmly. "We don't have any 'EVIL coconuts' just the normal kind."

In a dramatic voice, Ganon said, "That will have to do!" He pulled out his wallet. "How much are they?"

Shoppy McShopperson, the bazaar owner, said, "5 rupees per bag, sir."

"Curses! That fairy kid stoled my moneys!"

"You mean the Hero of Time, right?"

"...Perhaps..."

"Ok, you'll just have to pay interest."

Ganon took the bag and laughed evilly, "Hahahaha! I am Ganon, Ruler of Evil, Destroyer of Good, and Lover of Facon, soy protein bacon for those not in the known, and lover of fruit that produces milk!"

"You still have to pay interest on those."

"Ganon does not approve!" He, then, punched Shoppy in the face. Shoppy collapsed on the floor.

Ganon has a mean right-handed left hook, in case you didn't know.

"Ganon approves!" he walked off, like he accomplished something, back to his castle.

"Wait a minute! Who sells coconuts in a bag?!" he threw the bag on his couch, "Hahahahaha... now what?... I know! I'll invite some o' my old pals over!"

Ganon picked up his evil, fancy telephone and dialed a number, "Hey, OAK, you wanna come over?... sure... yeah... oh, yeah..." he hung up. "Quick Mr. Fluffers!" Ganon's cat walked up to him, "I need 383 copies of 'Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.'

He then picked his phone back up, dialed a number, "Hey, Chuck, you wanna come to my place?... yeps... ok, sure... uh-huh..." Ganon put his phone down. "Mr. Fluffers! Bring me the games!"

His cat carried a big bag to him. "Yes! I'll show those losers what-for for not putting me in this game!"

Ganon's doorbell rang, he ran to his door and opened it. Chuck Norris was there. "Hahaha! Glad you could make it!"

Norris said, "I never miss a party... ever... oh, and I brought a guest." Count Dooku was behind Chuck.

"Hello, Ganon. Do you have any Cocoa Puffs?" Dooku said.

"Yeah. Why?"

"'Cause I'm 'Dooku' for Cocoa Puffs."

There was a big pause. "Go away." Ganon said.

Count Dooku jumped into the sky, without a word.

Norris said, "...Wow...that was random..."

"Yes, but randomness is great...and EVIL!!! Hahahaha!!"

Prof. OAK walked up to the castle. "Hey, Ganon, I made it."

Ganon answered sarcastically, "Did you really make it? Wow."

Norris said, "It's not fair that your name gets all caps..."

Ganon said, "It would be CHUCK NORRIS. It just looks like I'm shouting your name..."

"True."

"I, Ganon, have proven Chuck Norris wrong!"

"..."

"... Who wants tater wedges?!", They all raised their hands, including Ganon, "Rightio, then. Tater wedges it is!"

They walked into Ganon's castle. Ganon shouted, "This one looks like Thomas Jefferson!" he held up a normal-looking tater wedge. "Ooh! And this one looks like Cookie Monster" He held up one that looked like Thomas Jefferson.

After they all finished their wedges, Ganon saw someone walking by the castle and asked, "Who wants to throw the Majora's Mask cartridges at the passer-by?" They all raised their hands, including Ganon, "Rightio, then. Throwing cartridges it is!" He notices it's Link. "Ahaha! Perfect, it's that fairy kid!" Ganon threw a cartridge out his window and nailed Link straight in the head and he collapsed. "Hahaha! Bulls-eye!"

Chuck Norris said, "What do we do with the other 382 games?"

Ganon says, "I know! Wait here!" Ganon ran off into his room. Several seconds later, he came out in a Santa outfit. "Just call me Ganny Claus!" He got a sleigh in the mail that he purchased from eBay just seconds ago, then he grabbed the bag, walked up to his window and threw the bag at Link. "Problem solved! Ganon approves!

"What's the sleigh for then?" OAK asked.

"Oh. That." He picked up the sleigh and threw at OAK. "That's what it's for. Don't question me ever again.

"Alright." OAK said in a muffled voice from under the sleigh.

"Anyone for Connect Four?" Norris asked.

"Ooh! Ganon! Ganon!" Ganon shouted, still in his 'Ganny Claus' outfit.

"Alright, Ganon." They sat down at a table and in 3 moves Chuck won. "Ha! I win!"

"How can you win Connect Four in 3 moves?"

"...'Cause I'm Chuck Norris. How 'bout you OAK? Do you want to play"

"No, thanks, I don't play football."

"What?"

"You said 'contact sports' right?

"No, I said, Connect Four."

"Oh, that's completely different. I'm fine, I can just STAY HERE UNDER THIS SLEIGH!1!!1!"

"Ok, that's good 'cause I was gonna get that offa you, but I'm glad you're alright."

"Yeah, you better stay under there," Ganon said, "I payed good money for that sleigh."

"Really?" Chuck asked.
Ganon snickered, "No."

"How much was it?"

"Around 4 million rupees."

"I thought you said you didn't pay a lot."

"I never said that. What gives you that idea?"

"You said, 'I payed good money for that sleigh', then you denied doing that."

"I know. I payed EVIL money for it. Hahahahahahahahaaa!"

"..."

"Sleigh here!" OAK shouted.

Chuck Norris answered, "Chuck Norris here."

Ganon questioned, "Wait, did that sleigh just talk?"

"..."

"Ganon does not approve!" He pulled out his sword. "I am Ganon, Ruler of Evil, Destroyer of Good, and Lover of Facon, soy protein bacon for those not in the known, and Slayer of Sleighs!" He thrusted his sword at the sleigh, and the sleigh flew into the air.

Link shoved the bag off of himself and looked up at the incoming sleigh. "This has not been my lucky day..." It smooshes him.

Link hears a loud "Ganon approves!" and falls unconcious.

"Thanks, Ganon." OAK said.

"Ganon does not approve!" He punches OAK in the face. "I pity the foo!" Ganon shouted with a terrible Mr. T impersonation. "Does your face hurt?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Good. 'Cause it's killing me. Ahaha! Ganon loves a good laugh!"

OAK falls unconcious.

"Wow, Ganon, is this a daily thing for you?"

"...Maybe...No...Yes..."

"Why did you do that exactly?"

"...'Cause Ganon approves..."

"Alright, good enough for me."

"Naptime!" Ganon shouted at the top of his lungs, and less than a second after that he fell asleep.

Chuck Norris was confused about what had happened so he opened Ganon's Easy-Bake Oven and noticed a cupcake with sprinkles dancing around. Chuck stared blankly in confusion at the cupcake as it danced out of the oven and on to the floor. He kicked the cupcake and it hit the door and left a splattered mess on it. "Alright, I guess I have nothing to do..." Chuck Norris, then decided to go to sleep.