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We found her in the Land of the Sea, kept in a cellar with nothing to eat and even less to drink, unconscious, her hair soaked in blood, body in cold sweat, and hands still with tears. We assumed her death from the very beginning when reports of Orochimaru's flee and his student's disappearance arrived within minutes of each other.
Certainly, she was dead. He killed her, he lost her, he raped her, maybe she ran away. The story didn't need to be clear. We received our mission with explicit orders to find her body, so that's what we did. We came looking for a dead little girl.
Instead we found a girl who was better off dead.
I knew her. Hell, I was the one who put her in this position. She caught my eye at the Academy, the youngest and best genin of her age, a bright pupil with potential that came only once in a generation. Sensei wanted each of us to take on students. I left with Shizune, Jiraiya chose his three, and Orochimaru took no one. It wasn't a choice, Hokage-sama said. It was a requirement, and until we each had at least one student to mentor, he'd limit our duties and restrict our privileges.
At the time I didn't see a reason for those rules, but now, as Hokage myself, I understand what he tried to do. A society can't improve if youth learn from anyone but the best, and we undoubtedly were the best. We were the Legendary Sannin, and Sarutobi-sensei wanted to ensure that Konoha would still have legends long after our deaths.
I didn't realize that back then. My biggest worry at the time was my life as a ninja, and if Orochimaru couldn't find a student, I'd find one for him. I staked out the Academy, sat in each class, and followed each student, all for no reason other than to see if anyone was better than her.
She had raven-colored hair, tinted dark blue in the sunlight, with a small frame and a big personality. Her name was Anko, and she was perfect. A prodigy, ambitious, and hungry for knowledge, an outsider with no guidance and no friends, she was absolutely perfect for Orochimaru.
I asked him to observe her with me, and I wasn't surprised when he affirmed my pick.
I should have known. I should have known he'd lose his mind and take Anko with him. I should have known not to leave her alone with a man like him. I should have known she'd never know anyone else. I should have known.
But I didn't, and see what happened. I kneeled down to check her vital signs, purely out of habit because I already knew the outcome, and that's when I felt it. The faint pulse, a ripple in her skin. Just one. I didn't wait to make sure if it was a fluke. Any reason she could live, I'd take.
We revived her from death, gave her fresh air to inhale and a shoulder to cry on, but she had no tears left to cry. She lost her will to breathe, and even though her heart pumped blood, it didn't do much else. So yes. We brought Anko back to life, but the world was dead to her. She was alive, but she wasn't.
This is the image of Anko I've carried with me ever since, though much has changed over the years- her appearance, my appearance; her attitude, my attitude; her skills, my skills. But even with all those changes, the changes in our relationship and the way we treat each other, I can't help but see the body I found in the Land of the Sea. I can't help but see the girl I handed over to death.
Anko, I'm sorry.