Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
CHAPTER ONE
If anyone would have told me that at one point during my life I would become one of the most feared Dark witches this world has ever seen, I would have laughed and told them what a nice, but completely unrealistic story that makes. The truth is, my whole life I lived a sheltered, extremely good life. When I say good I mean I never stepped out of line unless it was for a good cause, a good cause that defeated "evil." Well, now I'm kind of the definition of evil. How's that for interesting.
If you've never heard the whole story, from the beginning of my descent into darkness, you wouldn't understand a word I'm saying. If you saw me on the street, and you hadn't seen me in a few years, you'd probably smile and wave at me, ask me how my summer's going. You'd expect me to smile back and start up a nice conversation about all the little vacations I've gone on, all the good things I've done. You'd expect me to just gush about all the interesting things I'd accomplished.
Truth is, right about now if someone smiled at me on the street, I'd give him or her a glare so full of hatred they'd wished they'd never been born. Truth is, if someone tried to conversationally ask me how great my summer's going, I'd probably throw a couple hexes on them and just saunter nonchalantly on my way, as if nothing had happened, as if we'd never even taken one look at each other's faces our entire lives. Truth is, if you saw me on the street you probably wouldn't even recognize me, but that's beside the point, isn't it?
So if you're having trouble understanding all of this, if you're having a bit of an issue comprehending why Hermione Granger would be explaining just how dark and evil she's become, let me start from the beginning of the Dark Lady and the end of Little Miss Goody Two Shoes. I promise, it's a story you'll never forget, and chances are, you'll find it a little unbelievable, but I promise, every last bit of it, every single word is true.
Basically, at this point we're rewinding two or so years into the past. At this point, just imagine me, as you would remember me: a sweet, innocent, bushy haired little genius. In order to get you to understand exactly where everything went "wrong," or in my opinion right, I have to backtrack to my sixth year.
"It's beautiful," Ginny Weasley said, admiringly, her eyes never leaving the little opened box sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch we sat on. Inside that box, nestled inside a little silk handkerchief sat a silver necklace. It was more of a locket, but not even really that, for in my opinion a locket opens to reveal a picture. This necklace was more of a tiny box shaped like a heart. It was inlaid with little designs of vines and blooming roses. The top opened to reveal a small compartment, capable of hiding any sort of small items.
The box had come wrapped in silver, shining paper without a note and only my name scrawled on the top in black ink. I'd found it on my bedside table upon waking up and the surprise caught me off guard. It wasn't my birthday and no holidays were sneaking up on me without my noticing. It was just a random, unexpected gift from an anonymous source. "I wonder who would send me this…and why." I thought out loud.
Ginny snuck a quick glance at me before looking at the clock on the wall. "Well, my bet is you have a secret admirer or something of the sort, but regardless we should be getting ready for class." I smiled at the younger girl, reaching out for the little black box.
My hand stopped before touching it and I just stared at it for a second as a tiny voice inside of my head whispered, 'Discard this.'
I shook my head thinking how ridiculous that thought was. This necklace was beautiful and it hardly seemed threatening. What harm could a little heart shaped box do? Still, the warning stuck with me as I closed the top and stood from the couch. Ginny followed my action and we both turned toward the stairs. We went our separate ways at the top, exchanging small talk and goodbyes at the end. I couldn't get rid of that nagging little voice.
Once inside my room, I put the box inside a drawer of mine, exchanging the gift for clothes. The necklace slipped from my mind and I didn't give it or the warning a second thought as I slipped into my robes. The girls I shared my dormitory with began to emerge from their beds and the bathroom all talking sporadically to one another as they combed their hair, clothed themselves or just lazily sat around doing nothing. I didn't speak a word to any of them. I merely straightened my clothes and walked silently from the room.
This behavior wasn't odd to them, nor to myself. In the mornings I just didn't feel much like talking until after I had gone through at least one class and had a good breakfast. It was something about the food and knowledge acquired during that time that opened my mind and made it hungry for socialization. I was never rude in my lack of conversation to the other girls in the morning, just politely silent. They all understood and none held it against me. They knew I was good for talking later after I'd successfully settled into the routine of the day.
Once I was again in the common room I saw my two closest friends sitting in chairs near the empty fireplace waiting for me. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley both smiled warmly as I neared them. My smile was just as warm when I reached the beautiful gold and red chairs they occupied. Instead of sitting I merely nodded toward the portrait door and took a step towards it. They understood my meaning and rose from their seats. Without talking we walked towards the door.
"I'm not looking forward to Potions today." Ron said once we were in the hall, with a bit of irritation in his voice. Earlier that week he had misread the instructions during class and one of his potions had turned out terribly wrong. What should have been a potion to change ones appearance on command had merely made his partner and him turn a vile color and sprout boils on their noses. Ron had been humiliated and Snape had been ungraciously rude, along with the majority of the Slytherins they shared their class with.
"Oh, just ignore them and it'll be easier to bear. It's only two hours out of the day that you have to deal with all of that nonsense." I said with an encouraging smile. Harry merely smiled and Ron gave a feeble attempt to copy him. "Really though, you would think that a teacher would be more professional in a situation like that. Anyone could have read those instructions wrong…it's hardly your fault." I tried to comfort him. I could see that my words were helping a little as Ron's smile became less forced.
"Let's just hope that today's assignment is a little easier." Harry put in and we all agreed.
Breakfast in the Great Hall went by without any major events occurring and the rest of the day slipped by with a boring lull to it. By the time night fell and our classes were all finished with I was exceedingly exhausted of the monotony of it all. It wasn't as if I exactly liked excitement, but today had just been without any flavor whatsoever. In order to quell my restlessness I set my mind on the library after dinner.
If there was one thing that could cure both my boredom and tiredness it was a good book. I usually made it a habit to stop by the library and get a few new ones at least three times a week. I always finished every book but when I got tired of the same story I'd simply set one book down and start another, just to go back to the first one when I was tiring of that story line as well. It was a great way to keep yourself from getting bored with one extremely long book, unless of course that book was just so riveting that you couldn't set it down.
That night however, once inside the library I found that I couldn't locate a single book that held my interest for longer than a few minutes. My mind kept wandering to other things, things I hadn't thought of in a long time, since school had started. I kept thinking about my family back home in the muggle world, where I would soon be now that school was near to ending. I kept thinking about the problems my parents were facing.
My father had stumbled into a gambling addiction. How and where he acquired this little habit neither my mother nor I knew. He kept taking all his paycheck and blowing it at various gambling excursions. My mother didn't really mind so long as he never touched her paychecks, her monthly earnings. My father so far had never even attempted to use her money. And the money I earned from my summer jobs was kept safely in a savings account that no one dared touch.
I was saving up for a trip to America to visit a cousin of mine this coming summer, and I had just about enough to go. I only needed a few more weeks worth of paychecks and I would have two tickets, to and from my home, to see her. I was more than a little excited to be seeing the cousin I'd been closest to my whole life. She was like my sister, and I was very interested in seeing how she'd changed.
Her letters kept telling me about how she'd changed, became more rebellious. These were things I'd always had a secret longing to do, and perhaps while I stayed with her I could indulge a little, and then come back to the life I knew. What fun was living if you couldn't experiment a little? The thought of dabbling in the things my cousin spoke of excited me, but also made me embarrassed to acknowledge that I felt that way. If I did test out rebellion, none of my friends here would ever know about it.
But that really wasn't one of the things that were keeping me from finding an interesting book. I hardly even really thought about visiting her, except during the times that I was exceedingly frustrated with being called a know-it-all or being made fun of by several of the arrogant pure-blooded Slytherins who it seemed lived to make my life a hell. The biggest problem that kept swimming in my head was the fact that my mother was facing losing her well paying job.
With my father blowing all his hard-earned money on his addiction, if my mother lost her job we would be facing living with no money. I had tried to intervene and send my father to an intervention program to help kick his gambling addiction but so far none of my efforts seemed to be working. And he seemed to be getting worse and worse every day.
My mother was distraught over the questioning of her ability to hold a job. The reason for her possible termination from the company was for a simple slip up on the job, or not so simple. During a time when my grandmother was ill and hospitalized my mother was a complete mess. She had accidentally mixed up two patients at the office and had done the wrong surgery to one. This had cost the dentistry a fair amount of money. My mother had been mortified, and the company was reviewing her for termination.
The company understand what had made her mix up the patients and had excused it for a while until it was brought up that perhaps my mother needed some time to become mentally and emotionally stable. It seemed the company felt that my mother could not handle herself under crisis and that she would be better suited working elsewhere until the time came that she was able to fully handle emotionally and mentally wearing situations.
Meaning, they thought my mother might break under pressure again if something like what happened to my grandmother happened, and they were not willing to risk another mix up like the previous.
I was so busy thinking and mulling over these problems that I hardly noticed how many hours had managed to slip by until the librarian came and lightly touched my arm. Apparently she had said my name several times and when I had not answered felt the need to try a different tactic at grabbing my attention. I smiled apologetically and rose to my feet. I gathered the several books beside me and began to put them away hurriedly; I felt terrible for having been here so long after I should have been.
"Everything alright dear?" she asked curiously. "You seemed a little troubled…"
"Oh, no, everything's fine. I was just thinking about class work and wondering if I could finish a rather nastily long essay on time." It truly surprised me how easily that lie had just rolled off my tongue. She smiled at me and let out a soft chuckle.
"Dear, I hardly doubt you would have any trouble finishing an essay, no matter how long it may be." And I smiled in return. My reputation was widely known at the school. Everyone knew that I always finished my work, and long before it was needed to be finished. It was just something my parents had always taught me. If you left something until the end, if you procrastinated, you might not get it finished in time and then what would you have? You would have a fairly large, or small, mess to clean up. And that was never fun.
I didn't think very much as I exited the library and made my way to the Gryffindor common room. I had done enough traipsing through my thoughts at the library and now I was ready to just fall into a sense of blankness. I had become accustomed to doing this the past year or so. When I began to think about the problems waiting for me at home I just sometimes turned my mind off. It had been hard to learn how at first, but after a while you learn to just become void of thought.
There wasn't anyone in the common room when I entered through the portrait with a hushed muttering of the password to the Fat Lady. She frowned at my coming at such an hour. I really hadn't realized just how late it was until I entered the dark room. I made my way silently to the stairs and paused slightly before ascending. I looked towards the fireplace when I thought I saw a shimmering light in the corner of my eye. However, when I turned to look no such light was there.
I shook my head wondering if I was more tired than I thought and was beginning to hallucinate due to exhaustion. I lightly stepped my way up the circling staircase until I reached my dormitory door. It was slightly ajar, something the girls usually did when I was late at studying. I pushed the door lightly and it swung open. The room was dark but I knew it well enough to maneuver easily through the shadows.
When I reached my bed I sat down with a sigh. I wasn't really all that tired now that I thought about it but I needed my sleep. My hands found my drawer that held my night dresses and I rummaged aimlessly inside. My fingertips touched the small box with the necklace inside and I quickly pulled my hand back as though I'd been burned. A small shock of pain raced up my arm and I flinched. Moments later I didn't even remember that the box was there as I pulled a night dress out.
I undressed and slipped the gown over my head. My mind was peacefully blank and with another sigh I climbed into my blankets. The moment my head hit the pillow my eyes closed and I fell into a tranquil sleep devoid of dreams.
Two weeks passed without any real excitement or notable occurrences. The time for school to end was only days away and I was both excited and apprehensive. Within two weeks I would be in America but for the time until then I would be at home with an excessive gambler and a struggling depressed mother. My parents had both decided they would give me however much money I was lacking so I could see my cousin. I was deeply appreciative but at the same time felt slightly guilty.
I however felt that I deserved this vacation and so pushed whatever guilt I felt from my mind. It was surprisingly easy to do. But I'd noticed lately that lying about my true feelings and learning to shut off said feelings was becoming increasingly simple to do.
We had received our final grades in our classes the day before and I was very pleased to see that I had received top marks, yet again. This was no surprise to my classmates, or to myself. I received praised and plenty of acknowledgement for my intelligence and excellent marks. I was positively beaming the entire day. I loved to be in the spotlight for my intelligence. I worked very hard to receive those grades in class and felt that it should be noticed and pointed out.
Today I was still basking in my pride but my smile was a little lessened due to the fact that I was beginning to realize I would be leaving this little safe haven of sorts. I would miss all of my friends; even my teachers and most especially I would miss the library. If that sounds a little nerdy and ridiculous, I know, and for some reason I'm a little proud of that. I think it shows I'm more mature and intelligent than all the rest. Or maybe I'm not all too proud of that. Sometimes I wish I could just be more like everyone else, less concerned with school and learning.
Then I remember that I want to actually have a mind and get somewhere in life. That's when I stop wishing I didn't study so much or ignore social activities. I'm content with being the nerd that I am, for the most part.
Everyone in my dormitory was gushing about how excited they were to go home, and when people tried to include me in the conversation I just gushed along with them. Yes, my excitement was a little forced, and yes, I felt sick to my stomach slightly at the thought of going home, but that didn't really matter. I was glad I would get to see both my parents soon.
In order to keep myself from being trapped into talking too often, I focused my energy on packing. I pulled clothes out from drawers, folded them and placed them in my bags. I was just doing this automatically and without thought when my hand landed on a tiny box. I had forgotten about the box, about the necklace. I picked up the box from the remaining few articles of clothing and opened it.
I fingered the silver necklace lightly before picking it up gently. The chain was long enough to fit neatly over my head without the clasp being undone and before I realized I was doing it, I let the heart fall onto my chest. It wasn't heavy in the least and it rested just between my breasts. My hand cupped the little present and I slipped it beneath my shirt, where it lay nestled warmly against my skin. It was only cold for a second before the metal warmed and mimicked my body temperature. Without another thought I placed the box back in my drawer and continued to pack.
"Hey, do you want to come with us to get some lunch? We're going to take it out by the lake for a picnic." Lavender Brown's voice broke through my blank mind. I looked up startled; dropping the pair of jeans I was folding. She was smiling at me and I just stared for a moment before returning the gesture.
"Of course, that sounds like fun. Do you mind if I invite Ginny?" I asked, folding the jeans as I spoke.
"She was already invited." Lavender said still smiling. I nodded and put the jeans away. Lavender was a very nice girl, not one that I had become extremely close with on account of her obsession with fashion and beauty, but I liked her company for the most part. She waited for me while the other girls in the room piled out of the door talking amongst them. "So do you have any big plans for the summer?"
"I'm going to America." I supplied without much explanation as to why. I knew the prompting question would come, so I waited. My plans to visit my cousin had not been openly shared with anyone but Harry, Ron and Ginny.
"Oh! That sounds like fun! What's there?" Lavender said her eyes lighting up. You could tell it was one of her wishes to visit the country. Hermione laughed lightly and started walking toward the door.
"I have family that lives there. I thought it would be good to take a vacation. They moved there only a few years ago. I haven't been to see their new home yet." I said with a shrug. Our conversation remained on the subject until we reached the lake where five girls waited for us. They were all talking and smiled at us, saying hello briefly before returning to the conversation at hand. Lavender and I just settled down and continued to discuss America and my upcoming trip.
A short while later the whole group was engaged in a discussion about relationships and boys. It seemed several of the girls were very distressed to be separated from their boyfriends over the summer. I hardly had anything to contribute to the conversation. I had very little experience with boys. They just seemed uninterested in me, and I had very little interest myself.
Don't get me wrong; I had that small romantic streak that every girl has. I secretly wished to fall madly and head over heels in love with some perfect boy. Of course I thought about boys, but I just never let them cloud my judgment or remain too long within my thoughts. It just seemed pointless at such a young age. It was during these conversations or time when i was completely alone that I let my thoughts wander to such silly romantic things. I just listened to them gush about their boyfriends and talk about how they would miss them so much. I felt an ache inside of me in the part of my heart that wanted romance.
After several hours of just gossiping and talking only the way girls can all of the food we had brought was gone and the sun was beginning to set. I was the first to stand and excuse myself back to the dormitory. I really did have quite a bit more packing to do and I wanted to finish that as soon as I could. There was only one more day after this before we were sent home for the summer. I smiled apologetically at the girls for my leaving and then leisurely walked back towards Gryffindor tower. I felt somewhat empty.
Once back inside the dormitory I settled back into my automatic and thoughtless packing. All images and ideas of love and romance were swept away. All my excitement of going to America faded. And all of my fears I had concerning facing the problems at home seemed to not exist. I continued to pack right through dinner and fell asleep before any of the other girls came back.
I woke up sweating. My dreams had been filled with blood. I woke up feeling dirty. My body was sore. I groaned as I rose to a sitting position. Darkness surrounded me so I knew that it was still extremely early, but I had fallen asleep early in the evening, so I wasn't surprised. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath and gasped sharply.
I heard screams; terrible screams and I felt a searing pain shoot through my chest. My necklace burned with heat against my skin and I cried out. My eyes flew open and the screaming ceased but the heat remained. It wasn't unbearably hot but it was uncomfortable and I yanked at the chain until the heart pulled up and out from beneath my shirt. I released it immediately and it bounced against my chest once before remaining still.
I was glad that my cry hadn't been loud enough to wake anyone around me. I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and placed them firmly against the thick-carpeted floor. I was shaking. I calmed my breathing and pushed myself up. I quickly made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I didn't lock the door, but put a silencing charm on it. I let out a sob and fell to my knees.
I wasn't sure why I was crying, it had been a dream. But I could hear the memory of those screams and I felt a sense of recognition in the tone. I thought I knew those voices that were screaming so horribly, but I didn't know whom they belonged to or where they came from. I wondered if this dream was a premonition of something that would occur. I wondered if my future would hold death and pain. Not once did my thoughts stray to the necklace I wore. Not once did I even recall the burning, the heat and the pain that had rushed through me.
Once again I forced myself to calm down. I rose to my feet and stared at myself in the mirror. I wiped the tears from my face. Without another glance at my reflection I shed my clothes and showered. Once clean and able to breathe normally I turned off the shower, stepping out and wrapping a towel around myself. Almost without thinking I let the silencing spell fall. Outside I could hear my classmates waking up and talking softly.
I wouldn't remember that dream for a very long time after that. And when I did finally remember it, I wouldn't fear it.
At the end of the final day everyone boarded the Hogwart's express and said their goodbyes on the long train ride back to Platform 9 ¾. I didn't say much at all to anyone, and found myself retreating into isolation. It was odd for me and I didn't fully understand why I was doing it. A part of me thinks that I was trying to prepare myself for what I would face at home. And I knew once I was faced with that I would isolate myself until I left for America. I hardly said goodbye to anyone when the train stopped. I gave brief hugs and hurried promises to write.
Then I was walking quickly away from everyone without a backwards glance. I couldn't look back or else I would cry. I was going to miss everyone and the comfort they gave me. Now it was time to face the reality of my problems and if possible, try to help fix them. Or just wait out the time until I would be gone and safely with my cousin.
My mother was waiting for me in her car. I didn't even ask where my father was. A part of me knew he was either sitting home itching to continue gambling, or that he was gambling and effectively still losing everything he had. My mother gave me a shaky smile and when I sat down she started the car and slowly began to drive.
We said our "hello"'s and then we didn't speak the rest of the ride home and for the next two weeks I hardly was ever in her presence or my father's. My mother stayed hidden in her room for the most part, reading or stayed late at work so she wouldn't see the shambled mess my father had become. And when my father wasn't out losing all of our money he remained silent and unmoving in front of the television. I felt alone.
The day that I was supposed to leave, I called a taxi to take me to the airport. I said my goodbyes just as shortly and without emotion as I had when leaving Hogwart's, only this time there were no promises to write. I wanted to leave and forget that this was my home for as long as I could. I just wanted to find a new life, no matter how temporary that life may be. I just wanted to forget the pain this home was bringing me. I wanted to fill that emptiness.
The airport was busy but the wait to board wasn't long. I ended up sitting between a kid about my age listening to headphones and an older man who read a magazine the whole flight. Somewhere after a mumbled hello from one and an irritated glance from the other I fell into a silent stupor that I was roused from when one of my flight partners started a quiet conversation with me. It was the boy sitting to my left. He wasn't looking at me when he started talking; he was staring out the window. At first I thought he was talking to himself, then realized it was my attention he was trying to grasp.
"You look like you're not overly enjoying this." He said it simply. I looked at him, and really looked at him for the first time since I'd sat down. His eyes were a peircing blue and his hair was jet black, hanging into his eyes. He had a peircing on the left side of his bottom lip and as my eyes traveled down him, I noticed his right arm was covered in tattoos. I couldn't really make out what they were supposed to be, but he was so different looking than the boys I was used to that instantly I was intrigued. You just didn't see boys like him at Hogwart's. "Afraid of flying?"
"No, just a little nervous to see my cousin. It's been a few years since I saw her last." I told him. He nodded in understanding. "Are you visiting somewhere too?" I asked. He looked me in the eye and smiled.
"I'm going home." He said it with a slight laugh to his voice that I didn't understand, but I guess that's the fun of talking to strangers isn't it? You really never know what's going on behind their eyes. We ended up talking about all sorts of things the entire flight, until both of us became tired and first he drifted into sleep and then I. We both woke when stewardess' voice came over the loud speaker telling us we were landing.
Once we were off the plane he walked me to where the baggage claim was. He helped me carry all of my luggage to the waiting area and then sat down beside me. I was confused. "Don't you need to get your bags too?" I asked. He laughed.
"I don't have any." He didn't elaborate and my curiosity as to why made me ask. "I left my whole life behind when I came here." And again, he didn't elaborate. This time I didn't ask him why he had left it all behind, because I guess I sort of understood. When I had been packing I had wanted to just leave everything I owned behind and buy new things once I arrived in America. But the reality of my monetary situation had caused me to be sensible.
We sat there for a moment, him watching me silently, and me trying not to look at him. He seemed very interested in me, and I wasn't to that kind of attention. "I never did introduce myself" I said suddenly. He smiled at me. It was an amazing smile.
"Neither did I, so there's no harm done in that." He said. "I'm Max."
"Hermione." He smiled at me again and then stood.
"Well, that is a lovely name, but I'm afraid I have to go. If you get bored, or just feel like finding me, don't hesitate." He said staring at me with such intensity in his eyes that I found it hard to breathe. He held out his hand and I saw a peice of paper was resting in his palm. I grabbed it and saw his name written with a number beneath it. "Until we meet again, Hermione." He winked once before turning and walking away. It took me several minutes to recover from my shock that someone that beautiful could be interested in me.
A familiar laugh broke my thoughts and I turned to see my cousin Kaitlin watching me with a beautiful smile on her face. Her eyes twinkled and I rushed to give her a hug. She embraced me warmly and I pulled back looking her over fully. She looked so different! Her long blonde hair had been dyed black, a vibrant black with a tint of blue.
"I see you're already having an interesting time." Kaitlin grinned. I just blushed. Katie grabbed my hand, and one of my bags, and pulled me through the airport to her car. We spent the entire drive to her house talking about her new life here, and mine back home. I was beginning to learn just what kind of changes had been made within my cousin. And these changes both frightened me and deeply intrigued me.