AN: This is my first purely dialogue fanfiction. I'm not yet entirely sure how much I like it. I like the idea of the story itself, and I think the dialogue is pretty strong in some parts, but I think it can definately use support in others. However, who cares about my opinion? (Well, I do- but I don't expect you to). How about you tell me what you think! (After you read it of course).
I know this story is called one hundred one reasons- but it worked out better for there to not actually be 101 reasons. Plus, I couldn't think of that many. I'm proud of myself for thinking of as many as I did...
Edited as of 4/16 because it somehow got centered halfway through, no clue how. And, for the record, this really isn't as long as it seems. It only has a little over 3,300 words. I swear.
Disclaimer: If I ever say I own Harry Potter, call the police- someone is posing as me.
"C'mon Lily- just go out with me."
"For the millionth time- no! And stop whining!"
"Give me one reason why not."
"James, I could give you one hundred and one reasons why not."
"Literally or figuratively?"
"Literally. Figuratively I could give you a million….Oh don't pout"
"We're supposed to be friends, so why won't you give me a chance?"
"We're supposed to be friends, so why won't you stop asking me out?"
"I did stop asking you out."
"Well what is this?"
"This is me starting again."
"James."
"Lily."
"I'm warning you."
"I'm begging you."
"This is why I won't go out with you."
"Finally, a reason!"
"You want reasons, I'll give you reasons."
"Please do."
"Fine… Well, that was reason number one."
"So what's number two?"
"Your annoying persistence."
"One could argue that it's endearing."
"It's not."
"But one could argue-"
"James- it's not endearing. It's bloody annoying."
"Some girls think it's cute."
"Well then why don't you go ask them out???"
"Because they think it's cute!"
"So if I thought it was cute, you would stop asking me out?"
"Nope."
"UGH!!!! How am I supposed to get rid of you?!?!?"
"You can't. You're stuck with me."
"Well, that's number three. You won't go away."
"Isn't that really the same thing as my persistence?"
"No, your persistence is your habit of asking me out. Your refusal to go away is that you're always there even when you don't ask me out."
"So you admit that I don't always ask you out."
"Stop twisting my words!"
"I'm just saying…."
"Well stop."
"Fine…reason number four?"
"Are you really going to make me list one hundred and one reasons why I won't go out with you?"
"Yep. Although if you're willing to concede…"
"Never."
"Then carry on."
"Fine. Reason number five-"
"Four."
"What?"
"It's reason number four, not five."
"No it's not."
"Then why has that Quick Notes Quill only written down three reasons?"
"Fine! Reason number four…"
"Thank you."
"Your constant belief that you're always right."
"I do not always think I'm right."
"Yes- you do."
"Nope. I know I'm not right when I tell you you're a pain. And when I say I can't stand you."
"You only say that when we're fighting."
"So?"
"…."
"Exactly. My point being that I don't always think I'm right."
"But you think you're right in saying that, that there's nothing wrong with it. And you think you're right when you say don't think you're always right."
"Lily, I don't think I'm right in saying you're a pain, or that I can't stand you, or the other things I've said- I know I shouldn't say it. And I didn't say I was always right, I said I wasn't always right."
"Yes, but-"
"Reason number five…don't glare at me."
"Reason number five. Your hair."
"My hair?...You won't go out with me because of my hair."
"It's messy."
"I brush it."
"James, it looks like a bird's nest."
"Not my fault! I try!"
"Doesn't help."
"Someone's hair is not a good reason to not go out with a person."
"Well yeah, not when it's the only reason. Or when it isn't as messy as yours."
"Lily, that's ridiculous."
"No it's not."
"Well, it's at least superficial."
"Maybe. But I'm okay with that."
"Ugh...fine…number six?"
"Your obsession with Quidditch."
"I'm not obsessed with Quidditch."
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!"
"You won't stop talking about the games you've been in-"
"It's exciting to play in the games! And half the fun is retelling the events of the game later."
"Well it's annoying."
"Is there anything about me that doesn't annoy you?"
"…"
"Unbelievable."
"Well did you want me to lie?"
"I'd rather you have lied than have gotten that answer."
"You're unbelievable."
"Number seven?"
"Your desperate desire for approval."
"I don't even know what to say to that."
"That brings me to reason number eight- you won't shut up."
"I'm quiet sometimes."
"Not around me."
"Sometimes I am."
"Like when?"
"During class. Here in the Head's Common Room when we're working on homework-"
"We were working on homework before you started begging me to go out with you- again."
"I wasn't begging. And I didn't say I was always quiet- I said sometimes."
"Your technicality."
"Huh?"
"That's number nine. Your technicality- how everything has to be precisely correct. It's one of the most annoying traits a person can have."
"What's wrong with wanting perfection?"
"Plenty."
"Says the biggest perfectionist Hogwarts has yet to house."
"Not true!"
"So true."
"That's number ten. You lie."
"Lily, I'm an honest person. I can't believe you would call me a liar."
"You're always fibbing. Like about what you've been up to when teachers ask. And when I ask you whether or not you've done your homework. And when I ask you where you've been when you've snuck out again."
"The teachers haven't been asking me what I've been up to lately because I've been behaving. I always have my homework done when you ask. And I haven't lied when you asked me where I keep going- I've only told you I can't tell you."
"A lie by omission."
"It'd only be omission if the subject never came up."
"That's…."
"Nothing to say to that- huh?"
"Number eleven. You gloat."
"I don't gloat!"
"Whenever I concede, you brag and make some "witty" comment."
"I don't gloat, I show my excitement."
"That's gloating."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is. Number twelve-you're Head Boy."
"So? Isn't that a good thing?"
"No, we have to work together. We wouldn't be able to focus if we went out."
"Who cares? Why would we want to focus?"
"Because our duties are important!"
"Not that important."
"And that's number thirteen. You don't take your responsibilities seriously."
"How can you have been working with me for three months now and still say I don't take my responsibilities seriously? You've told me I needed to jump and I've asked what you needed me to do while I was in the air. You've said we need to meet weekly to get everything done, I asked for a set time so I could schedule Quidditch practices accordingly. You were sick, I took care of everything. I set up for someone to replace me on patrol duty when I can't make it and make sure to tell you in advance."
"…."
"Nothing to say?"
"Gloating James, this is you gloating."
"And this is you, Lily Evans, conceding."
"Next reason-"
"Fourteen."
"Fourteen- you've put me on this ridiculously high pedestal. I'm not the person you make me out to be James. I could never be that person."
"Lily, you are that person. I recognize your flaws. I know you have a wicked temper- as I well should, I've been on the wrong end of it far too many times. I know you're too absorbed in your responsibilities to have as much fun as you should-"
"I have fun!"
"Not enough."
"I do fine."
"You need to lighten up."
"Yes, well you take everything too lightly. That's number fifteen by the way."
"It's bad that I take the time to enjoy life?"
"Well, no…it's just…."
"Just what?"
"You need to be more serious…Don't you dare make a stupid "Serious/Sirius" pun- that got old in first year- which I do believe makes reason number sixteen."
"That my joke got old in first year?"
"That you still use said old joke in seventh year."
"It's funny!"
"It really isn't."
"Well, I think it's funny."
"I think you're mental."
"That's reason number seventeen, isn't it?"
"Yep."
"I can be sane…"
"But you never are."
"I like to act crazy sometimes, there's nothing wrong with that."
"Oh but there is."
"…Reason number eighteen?"
"Your insistence on pranking the younger years."
"We don't hurt them."
"Maybe not physically- but psychologically and emotionally..."
"Lily, they're fine."
"Says you. You never see how upset they get."
"Well, if they're going to get so upset at our harmless pranks- they needed it."
"They needed to be tortured?"
"It's not torture. And I meant they needed some toughening up."
"Oh, so you were doing them a favor."
"Yes!"
"Bullshit. And that makes reason number nineteen."
"Bullshit? What kind of reason is that?"
"That's not the reason. The reason is you keep finding some way to justify your actions."
"I can stick up for myself! Isn't that a good thing?"
"Not when you're wrong."
"You're unbelievable."
"Now you're just repeating yourself."
"And that probably makes number twenty."
"Correct."
"…."
"…."
"C'mon then Lily, give me another reason."
"You never pay attention in class."
"I don't need to! I read the books and do the homework! I get great grades!"
"That's the thing!"
"Lily, you do realize that half your reasons haven't made any sense, right?"
"They've made perfect sense to me."
"Well, you're crazy."
"But still saner than you."
"Well, I'm still saner than Sirius."
"How hard is that?"
"Good point…"
"And see? No loyalty. You didn't even stick up for him- he's your best friend!"
"NO LOYALTY?!?!"
"Erm, yes?"
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?"
"Well…"
"Stop! Let me stop seething before you, or I, say anything else."
"..."
"…"
"..."
"Lily, I am a loyal friend. I am. I care about my friends a lot and I'd do anything to protect them. And more than anything else you've ever said, it hurts me that of all things you'd say I'm not loyal."
"I…I'm sorry."
"…Ok."
"Really."
"Ok."
"I-"
"How about we just drop it and you give me the next reason?"
"You don't yell at me."
"I just yelled at you! And wouldn't my not yelling at you be a good thing anyways?"
"No, because then I feel like I'm the only guilty one."
"Because I didn't yell."
"Yeah."
"So what- you want me to start yelling at you?"
"Yes James- that'll help your case."
"Hey, I'm desperate. At this point I'll try anything."
"That's number twenty-four. You'll give up your dignity to get me. I don't want a guy who will sacrifice so much for me."
"Since when do girls not like a guy who'll give them anything they ask for?"
"I'm not sure about other girls- but I've never liked that."
"It doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't you like getting what you want?"
"What's the fun in getting everything you want?"
"Well…"
"Exactly. It loses it's meaning."
"So it doesn't mean anything that someone loves you enough to give you everything you want?"
"…"
"…How about the next reason?"
"I can't trust you."
"You can't trust me."
"No, I can't."
"Why?"
"Because…"
"Because why?"
"Because you're James Potter."
"I didn't know my name meant that much."
"It doesn't- it's the reputation with it…and your reputation is a big enough problem to be a reason of it's own."
"So we now have twenty-six reasons. Only seventy-five left."
"Are you really going to make me go to one hundred and one?"
"Nope, I know you won't be able to come up with enough reasons to go that far."
"Yes I can."
"Prove it."
"…Twenty-seven, your pitiful excuse for reverse psychology."
"It worked didn't it?"
"Reason number twenty-eight. Your confidence."
"How the hell can my confidence be a bad thing?"
"You make me feel so unconfident."
"You're anything but unconfident."
"There you go again, putting me on that pedestal."
"I'm not putting you on anything…although I'd put you in my lap- or my arms- if I wasn't afraid you would hex me."
"Comments like that. That's number twenty nine."
"They're funny."
"They're annoying."
"They can't be that bad."
"Oh, and number thirty: you're a Marauder."
"What's wrong with being a Marauder?"
"Everything."
"We're just normal guys Lily."
"But people don't treat you like normal guys."
"Not my fault."
"Speaking of how people treat you…number thirty one: you always have girls hanging all over you."
"I don't ask them to. I do everything I can to get them to bug off. It's not my fault they're smitten. Or that they all think they can be the girl to make me forget about you. Or that no girl could make me forget about you."
"James."
"Lily."
"Stop saying things like that."
"Why?"
"Because it's making it harder to come up with reasons.
"I don't want you to get one hundred and one reasons- remember?"
"Still, it's cheating."
"I don't remember setting up any rules."
"It's breaking the rules that apply to fair conduct in every day life."
"I've never heard of such a thing."
"Would you follow them if you had?"
"Probably not."
"And that's number thirty two: you don't follow the rules."
"Maybe, but I follow the important ones. And at least I don't lie and say I follow the rules."
"All rules are important."
"Nonsense, some are just stupid."
"…Hey kitty!"
"Stupid cat."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"I heard you mutter something."
"…"
"I know you hate cats James. That's why it's number thirty-three."
"I like dogs. I like rats. I like snakes. Hell, I don't even mind wolves. It's just, cats…"
"Are way better than any other animal you could name."
"I'd never keep you from having a cat."
"Like you could.
"True, but I'd never even try- or even think about it."
"Will you please stop giving a rebuttal to all my reasons?"
"Nope."
"But how am I supposed to get one hundred and one reasons if you argue with me after every one of them?"
"You're not."
"You're not playing fair."
"I never play fair."
"Reason number thirty-four."
"See, you can still think of reasons with me arguing."
"Yes, but…"
"But what?"
"Oh you're bloody impossible!"
"So you've told me."
"…"
"Lily, doesn't it say something that I've easily come up with a sound argument to every one of your thirty-four reasons."
"…Maybe…"
"Clearly, I'm determined."
"Clearly."
"Clearly, I love you."
"Clearly- wait, what?"
"Cleary, I love you."
"James, you don't love me."
"How do you know?"
"I just do."
"How?"
"You barely know me."
"I know you better than you think."
"Yes, but..."
"But what?"
"You're James Potter and I'm Lily Evans."
"Lily, that only means something because you want to make it mean something."
"But you admit that it means something."
"All it means is that that's your very last reason as to why you won't go out with me."
"…"
"Well?"
"I suppose it might be."
"That's what I thought."
"Look, Lily there are a lot of things I want in this world. And several things I want from you. But they're all very simple. I want a date. I want a fair chance. I want your affection. But most of all- I just want you."
"But…"
"Yes?"
"…."
"Lily?"
"I've run out of reasons…"
"Then give me a chance."
"But…"
"If you have no more reasons not to go out with me, you have no excuse not to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend."
"Sadly, I suppose you're right."
"Is that a yes?"
"I guess so….but this is your only chance. So if you screw this up, I will have at least one more reason."
"Trust me. After all this- there's no way I'm screwing this up."
"I hope so."
"…I'm so glad you said yes."
"I can't believe I did."
"You won't regret it."
"I better not."
- - - - -
"Say James- do you still have that list?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Can I see it?"
"Uh sure….here."
"Thanks."
"Why do you want it?"
"So I can do this."
"You just ripped it up!"
"That I did."
"But why?"
"Because today, in Hogsmeade, you proved all my reasons wrong."
"Told you so."
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