Author: Just a note, if any of you flame me on this, I WILL post your comment up for all to see, with me making fun of you immediately afterwards, in the follow-up fic to this. And I'll laugh maniacally the whole time. Constructive Criticism is welcome though.

Oh, and none of these characters belong to me, they're all Masashi Kishimoto's.

Tsunade couldn't help but twitch when she read the newest mission request she'd been sent. "S-Rank Mission: Assemble the entire Naruto Cast, yourself included, and comment on the fandom."

Shizune looked over the 5th Hokage's Shoulder. "This is…."

"Not going to end well", Tsunade finished, cutting her off.

---------------------------------

SEVERAL DAYS LATER

---------------------------------

"Bit of a Reunion, isn't it?" Jiraiya joked.

The Long and Straight-haired Pain was less enthusiastic. "What are you doing here, I killed you…"

Orochimaru just sighed, sagging his shoulders. "I am NOT a Pedophile!"

"And I'm not his 'Man-Bitch'!" Added Kabuto, exasperatedly, having been accused of this more times then he could count.

Tsunade Tried to call everyone to attention, but failed. In hindsight, it was a bad idea to let everyone socialize in the same room, and Itachi was having difficulty fighting off nearly everyone at the same time. "HEY! EVERYONE SETTLE…Oh it's no use. Shizune, any ideas?"

"No Idea, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade beat her head on the table she was seated at. "What was I thinking…"

Jiraiya was still upbeat about the whole thing, on the other hand. "We get to clear things up, don't we? Let's just have everyone come over one-bye-one, or in small groups."

Tsunade lifted her head off the table, grateful Jiraiya hadn't been told about the fact that fan-pairings would also be Addressed. "That may work…Alright, UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

….

….

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

Shizune made her practically-trademarked squeak of discontent, alarmed that the usually enthusiastic Naruto wasn't running up to the main table. What she didn't know was that he was occupied with chasing Sasuke around the room.

"SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Dammit Naruto, this is NOT the time! I'm killing Itachi, and that's IT! I LEFT OF MY OWN FREE WILL, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!" Sasuke yelled back at Naruto, not in the mood to waste any Chakra on Naruto while Itachi was within 30 feet. "And Besides, Tsunade called you up."

Naruto tried to stop his mad dash towards Sasuke by steering off course, but wound up running right into, of all people, Poor Hinata. "WHOA!" "N-NARUTO-KUN!"

SMASH

Dazed, Naruto picked himself up off the floor, and reached a hand out to help Hinata up. He may be a growing-pervert, but helping a girl up after that sort of thing was just common courtesy. Hinata, however, viewed it as something else. "N-Naruto-Kun…he got so close…and now he's offering to help..." Turning red and passing out, Hinata would be unconscious for quite a while. Conveniently until she was called, because in a fan-fic, things just have to sync up like that. Naruto just sweatdropped, and went over to the main Table at last.

"Oh good, you're here," Tsunade breathed a sigh of relief. "Anyway, take the microphone, and say what you want."

Naruto grinned, happy to finally be able to say what he wanted, all eyes turned on him. "Test? Test? Okay good, can all of you hear me?" A resounding chorus of "Yeah" "yes" "Hmph" and other affirmatives went through the room. "Okay good, because I want to make this straight. Ahem…

I!

AM!

NOT!

GAY!

Seriously! I Like Sakura!" The other male cast members cheered, the female cast was just grateful that Hinata was unconscious. "I Don't like Sasuke THAT way!" Sasuke called up his agreement from the crowd. "AND THAT'S MUTUAL!" Naruto grinned, continuing his speech. "I think I speak for every guy here! WE'RE STRAIGHT! You think an anime would get so popular if there was actually any gay characters here?! Look what happened to J.K Rowling! And just to make a point, there's nothing WRONG with being gay, unless you're ACTUALLY NOT!" Cheers from pretty much everyone came up, until Itachi shoved Naruto off the podium.

"Ahem. I would like to speak as well."

The crowd was silenced. Or rather, most of it was. "ITACHI! I'LL KILL HIM! LEMME GO!" "STAY THERE, BRAT, I WANT TO AS WELL, UN!"

Tsunade Beat her head on her desk once again, now actually starting to dent the thing. This would be a loooooong night…