Yeah. This is my first Grey's fic. Enjoy.
And yeah, Derek is a bit more of a jerk in this fic than originally expected.
Disclaimer: I'm just a fan, I swear.
She doesn't know why it got so hard all of a sudden. Life, heartbreak, medicine--it's like overnight, God decided that the game that was the life of Meredith Grey should be upped a few more difficulty levels.
First, she falls for her gorgeous attending. Then, they start dating, and it's great. But of course, it turns out that he's married, and at this time, they have been dating for two months. Now, she's not too sure what to do with herself.
So she drowns herself in tequila. That's fine, she thinks, because it makes her numb. It makes her numb and happy and maybe a little out of control, but that's okay. Because that way, she doesn't have to think about Derek Shepard.
And of course, she's having a little sex. A little sex is good. It's her reminder that she's still hot, still wantable.
But in the morning, aching of hangover and heartbreak, she remembers that he's not Derek, and he's just a replacement.
She's not really sure what she's replacing. She's not replacing Derek--if she wanted someone permanent, she'd be more opt to date than sleep around. She's not sure, but she supposes that it's filling up the holes. The holes where he used it fill.
But it seems that "nose-piercing guy" and "tighty-whitey guy" as her roommate Izzie, the blond one, gleefully describes two of them, aren't filling up much of anything.
And what's worse is the stares she gets. They talk about her and she knows it. She'll walk into the locker room with a brand new hickey, and the room will go quiet, with the exception of a few whispers and giggles. She hates the stares, but she has more to worry about than that.
Derek looks at her differently too. At first, he ignored them, as if they didn't exist, just like he didn't screw up. But now he stares at her, his eyes shooting invisible lasers through her body. He looks at her like she's a slut. He looks like her likes she's a whore.
He doesn't have the right. He doesn't have the right to look at her like that. He had a wife, and he didn't even tell her. It took until Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepard strutted her fabulous legs up and introduced herself that Meredith knew that there even was someone else. They'd been dating for two months--two months and he hadn't even had the sense to warn her. And of course, he had the nerve to take said wife back. Didn't she have the right to fix what he broke? If too much alcohol and some sex made her feel better, it made her feel better.
And that's whay brings her every night to Joe's bar. To ask some guy to buy her a drink. She'll bring him home; she always does.
But when she wakes up, aching of hangover and heartbreak, she'll remember that he's just a replacement, and the holes remain.