Mikau: Hello there! I'm guessing none of you know me. Nice to meet you! I'm Mikau! I usually write over in the Detective Conan section, but I just discovered that there's a Magic Kaito section as well, so you'll be hearing from me. Yep, that's a threat. Hopefully it'll end up being a good thing. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, the henchmen would get a wardrobe makeover. The guys in trench coats that back up Snake have it especially rough. It must be hard to go to work every day and be enthusiastic about doing evil in such horrendous uniforms. I bet you five dollars that productivity would increase were the henchmen allowed to wear zoot suits. Just sayin'.

…

The Charges

Kaito came to to the sound of hospital machines beeping softly and the drumming of impatient fingers on his bed-railing...

The bed-railing that he was currently handcuffed to.

Suddenly Kaito was wide awake.

The drumming stopped.

"Kuroba Kaito, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you…. Just kidding," a rather smug voice to his right chuckled.

Kaito slowly turned his head to look at the blonde git sitting at his bedside.

Hakuba smiled sadly. "I'm not an officer, therefore, I'm not qualified to read you your rights, but you are under arrest, Kuroba."

Kaito gulped. This was a nightmare. Just a nightmare. It had to be. He gave the handcuffs chaining him to the railings on either side a tentative tug. They were pretty secure. He was trapped.

And his left side hurt like none other.

"You were shot," his rival explained. "I found you face down in the dirt on the edge of the forest. I…I t-thought you were…I would have treated your injuries myself, but…you needed an ambulance, Kuroba, and there was no time to hide the incriminating evidence. You would have bleed out, and I was more concerned with putting pressure on the wound and saving your life than worrying about you going to jail, so…so you're under arrest." Hakuba averted his golden eyes, too ashamed to face the thief.

"You're saying that you would have covered up for me, if you'd had time?" Kaito finally spoke in a tone of utter astonishment. "Why?"

Hakuba's eyes went wide, his brows rising to his hairline, as he gazed at his classmate in perplexity. He contemplated the other teen for a moment before he finally answered. "Yes, Kuroba, I believe I would have. My first thought after I had ascertained that you were yet living was how I was to save your life without blowing your cover. I myself do not know why, but…I have a feeling that it may have something to do with my sense of sportsmanship.

"This isn't fair. I didn't capture you. I didn't outwit you or outrun you. You were injured. This should have been a timeout, but… I didn't beat you, Kuroba. This isn't my win," the detective muttered ruefully.

"This is a game for you, too, isn't it?" Kaito snorted in amusement. "I thought you were only chasing me so that you could bring me to justice, Tantei-san."

A light blush lit up the blonde's cheeks. "No, actually. I might put on a good show of being righteous, but I'm just as bored as you are, Kuroba…. If I were being honest, I'd have to admit that, of the two of us, you are the nobler. I mean, I'm not the one on a secret mission to save the world from an evil crime syndicate."

"You knew about that, huh?" Kaito let out a long sigh as he settled down into his bed. It didn't look like he'd be permitted to leave any time soon, so he'd might as well get comfortable. "Do you know what they did with my tux and hat and stuff?"

"I believe your trousers and hat are around here somewhere. The suit jacket you may be able to get back. I don't imagine any amount of dry cleaning will be able to get the blood out of it, though."

"You'd be surprised," Kaito quipped. "I've become a bit of a pro at getting bloodstains out of white."

Saguru didn't really want to think about that too much. He would much rather pretend that he didn't know how often his rival got injured. "Regardless, the dress shirt is ruined. They had to cut it off of you…but I did manage to save this." Hakuba reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a handkerchief stained rust red. Hakuba unfolded the cloth and produced Kid's monocle.

"I thought that it seemed precious, so…and I was careful not to get any blood on it. My hands were a little…dirty, so I wrapped it in the handkerchief to keep it clean." Hakuba leaned forward and tucked the monocle into the chest pocket of Kuroba's hospital shirt.

"Hakuba…" Kaito whispered in quiet awe and gratitude. "Thank you. For everything, Hakuba. I'm really in your debt."

The detective shook his head. "No. I'm in yours. I'm convinced that I would have slowly gone mad in England, chasing after the culprits of horrific crimes that just weren't quite…challenging enough for me. I would have lost my faith in humanity and utterly burnt myself out over there. Thank you for alleviating my boredom and restoring my faith."

"I think you're giving me too much credit, Tantei-san, but you're welcome." Kaito closed his eyes. "I guess that's all over now, though. You'll have to find someone else to amuse you…. May I suggest you take up mop-dodging? Aoko's gonna be lonely with her usual playmate in jail…or dead. Those trench-coats are gonna clip my wings for sure as soon as they hear I'm caught. I probably only have a few hours left," Kaito surmised, based on the night's sky outside of his window. It was an hour or two before dawn, judging by the lighting—just a few hours after his heist had come to an end.

He'd be dead by morning.

"No one knows that Kid has been arrested, Kuroba. Well, Nakamori-keibu, your lawyer Kisaki Eri, your mother, the judge and prosecuting attorney on your case, the medical personnel that brought you here, and me. But Nakamori-keibu and I are the only ones that know that you are present in this room at the moment. Even your doctor doesn't know who you are. She simply thinks she's treating some hooligan that got shot in the commission of a robbery. If anyone were coming for you, the both of us would have been dead a week ago when you were first brought in."

"…I've been out for a week?" Kaito managed to ask levelly. He probably looked like hell. Hakuba sure looked like hell. Why had Hakuba been watching over him for an entire week?

The blonde nodded.

"Then I guess I'm not getting assassinated any time soon," he hummed. "How many years in jail do you think I'll get?"

Hakuba smirked, and Kaito went back to hating the guy. Up until that moment, he'd slowly been warming up to the detective.

"You'll never guess what they're charging you with," Hakuba chuckled.

Kaito sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "I've never really thought about getting caught. I never considered the consequences... I'm such a cocky idiot."

"True as that may be…" Hakuba's smile widened. "Guess what you're being charged with."

Kaito's eyes slowly closed once more as the list scrolled like a Star Wars prologue on the insides of his eyelids. "Grand larceny, disturbing the peace, destruction of public property, destruction of private property, impersonating an officer, battery…lots of battery and maybe even some assault mixed in there…I don't know. They hardly ever see me coming, so more actual battery than assault…. Driving without a license…setting off pyrotechnics without a permit? What do they charge you with when you knock people out with sleeping gas? Geez, and I don't even know how many counts of each…. I'm going away for life, aren't I?

"Do you think they'll lower my sentence if I act like I'm sorry, or could I get off if I pled insanity? You'd testify that I'm nuts, right? Help a guy out? Or maybe they'd understand if I explained about the crazy crime syndicate…that or they'd think I was crazy, which works, really…. Did I get everything? I feel like I'm forgetting something. Jaywalking?"

Hakuba just laughed. "Kuroba, you're not even close."

"I'd deck you if I weren't chained to this bed," Kaito growled. "It's not funny, Hakuba! I'm going to jail for the rest of my life here!"

"No. You're not." Hakuba wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "That's what's so funny. You know what you're being charged with, Kuroba? Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Kaito blinked as his brain processed the words. They still didn't make any sense. "What?"

"No one's pressing charges, Kuroba," the detective tittered. "That's what's so funny. I go around chasing you like a total lunatic, you're finally caught, and you're charged with a grand total of nothing! Everyone you've stolen from loves you…except the ones in jail for whatever illegal thing you exposed them for. What's more, the princess of Sabrina along with the queen and crown prince of Ingram have all petitioned for your full and complete pardon. In fact, the only one who was even remotely upset with you was a one Suzuki Jirokichi. He was going to demand that you replace a certain motorcycle that you crashed and blew up, but his niece seems to have talked him out of it."

"What?" Kaito reiterated.

"You're getting off with a slap on the wrist, Kuroba," Hakuba summarized.

"What?" Kaito felt extremely stupid at the moment.

"There will still be paperwork, but you'll be free to go as soon as you're all better. Though, I'd take this opportunity to retire or find some other way to fight your trench-coat syndicate. I wouldn't push your luck, Kuroba. You never know if the individuals you steal from in the future will be as forgiving."

Kaito nodded, but his shocked expression quickly melted into an annoyed one. "Wait. If I'm not being charged with anything, why am I chained to the bed?"

Saguru shrugged. "So you don't squirm and hurt yourself. Wouldn't want you pulling your stitches out." "And…a bit for my amusement. I may be fond of the sight of you like this…now that you're conscious and looking so sullen, anyway."

"What's that smirk for?" Kaito hissed like a cat that had been poked one too many times.

"Smirk? What smirk?" The detective made a point of pretending to look up at the monitor showing Kuroba's vital signs. He hoped the dim lighting of the moon would hide his blush. He'd been caught rather red-handed there, hadn't he?

"Oi, Hakuba," Kaito spit. "Let me out of these things, would ya?"

"We should wait until Nakamori-keibu comes back, don't you agree?" Saguru wasn't sure he'd ever get the opportunity to ogle Kuroba in this state ever again.

"I do not," the thief snapped. "You're enjoying this, aren't you, you bastard?"

"Quite," Saguru snickered as his rival struggled against his bonds.

"Once I get out of here, I'm gonna prank you so hard," Kaito threatened.

"Does that really give me any incentive to release you, then?" The snickered turned into a bit of a dignified, manly giggle. Who was he kidding? A giggle was a giggle.

"Jerk," Kaito pouted, sticking out his lip and giving his opponent the puppy-dog eyes. "Please?"

"Let me think…no." Saguru may have been having a bit too much fun.

"My nose itches," Kuroba whined, looking like he wanted to cross his arms in annoyance.

With a smile, Saguru leaned in and scratched the tip of Kuroba's nose, causing the magician to blush and bristle like a spooked feline.

"Oi!" Kaito protested, eyes going wide.

"Sorry, Kuroba," Saguru finally called for a truce, pulling out the key to the handcuffs. "…I'm really glad that you're alright and that they're letting you off the hook. I'm looking forward to matching wits with you once again as soon as you're feeling better."

Kaito paused, gauging the other teen. He nodded, rubbing his newly freed wrists. "Thanks…. Me too, Hakuba."

…

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Mikau: How was it? Anybody see that coming? I'm planning on doing at least one more chapter with Nakamori-keibu and Kaito having a little chat, if you guys are interested. Please let me know what you think. I really take my readers' opinions into account when writing, so if you have any comments/praise/constructive criticism/requests, I'd love to hear it. Drop me a note on your way out, if you have a minute. It'd be most appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and I hope to see you again soon! Take care!