What really happened to Addison and Mark when Derek found them in bed together…

This story deals with rape (no, Mark does not rape Addison), which I know is a touchy subject for some people. That's why it's rated M, and if you don't like, I'm not forcing you to read it.

Disclaimer: not mine…kind of wish I owned mcdreamy though ;-)

Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd sank back onto the bed at her and Derek's brownstone and sighed. She'd just gotten off the phone with her ever absent husband only to learn that he would be coming home late from work again. Big surprise there. It seemed he spent more time at the hospital than he did at his own house. She mechanically picked up the phone and dialed Mark's number. It rang twice before she heard the gruff voice of the plastic surgeon.

"Hello?"

"Hey…hey it's me…"

"Addison? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's just…um…could you come over for a while?"

"What, Derek not home again?" Mark tried to joke. When he received silence on the other end, he voice grew soft.

"Yeah, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Hang in there Addie," he added then hung up.

Addison could feel the tears well up in her eyes. At what point in her life had she relied on Mark more than her own husband? She fiercely wiped the tears from her face and willed herself not to cry. She pulled her long crimson hair into a loose ponytail and sighed for the umpteenth time that night. She looked at the clock: 9:00 pm. Mark would be there by 9:15. She was just about to head downstairs to fix herself and Mark something to eat when she heard it. The sound of breaking glass…a window perhaps…and then the sound of two men's voices in the front hall. Addison froze. She could hear the two men downstairs, rummaging through everything. As quietly as she could, Addison tip-toed back into the master bedroom she shared with Derek and shut the door, locking it behind her. She picked up the phone: dead. She opened her purse lying on the bed in desperate search of her cell phone, only to remember she had left it in the kitchen. She silently cursed herself as she heard a pair of footsteps coming up the stairs and approaching the door. Addison quickly ducked into the walk-in closet and closed the door only seconds before a very large man broke the door clear off the hinges. The man looked around the room greedily and began rummaging through drawers in search of valuables. Addison could do nothing but watch as the contents of her and her husband's drawers were spilled out onto the floor. The man picked up Derek's favorite watch and Addison's diamond necklace from the newly formed mess on the floor. He looked around the room for his next destination: the large closet. Addison felt herself shake as the man approached the closet and flung open the doors. A tiny gasp escaped her lips as she came face to face with her intruder who seemed just as surprised as she did. However, his surprise quickly turned into anger. Out of the corner of her eye, Addison could see the clock on her bureau: 9:05. The man grabbed Addison by her hair and threw her roughly on the ground. A sickening crack came from her wrist as it hit the floor.

"Hey Mike! We're not alone, look what I found in the closet!"

The other man dashed up the stairs and into the room and leered at Addison who hadn't moved from her spot on the floor. She then began to cry.

"Please, take what you want, take everything, just…please…don't hurt me." Addison sobbed.

"I don't know Jake. What do you think we should do with her?" Mike asked maliciously. The two men had begun to circle the now trembling Addison.

"I don't know. I mean, she's seen us and everything…all she would have to do is call the police and give them a description and we'd be busted. We'd better do something to ensure the fact that she remains silent," Jake answered. That's when Addison saw the gleaming silver knife Jake held in his right hand.

"Oh God, no," Addison cried.

"Shut up!" Jake cried and slapped her hard across the face. Addison grabbed her stinging cheek as silent tears continued to flow from her fearful eyes.

"Jake, come on now, that's no way to treat a lady. You go downstairs and get everything packed up, and I'll deal with Red over here," Mike sneered menacingly. Jake just nodded and headed downstairs, not before passing off the knife to Mike. Mike just stared at Addison. His eyes were full of lust and desire. He reached out his hand and grabbed Addison's wrist, dragging her over to the bed.

"No, please, stop!" Addison cried with more fury as the realization of what may happen to her finally hit. Mike violently threw Addison on the bed. He then climbed on top of her and began kissing her. Addison fought and tried to push him off of her. Mike hit her again.

"Lay down and stop moving bitch! You are in no situation to negotiate right now," he growled. Addison cowered and began kissing him back only when she saw the glint of the knife. She felt Mike's tongue explore her mouth. She wanted to gag. She could feel Mike's dirty hands roaming her body freely. She felt disgusted, humiliated, and ashamed all at the same time. She felt him rip her white tank top off her torso, closely followed by her pajama pants and underwear. Addison lay there, exposed and vulnerable, and unable to do anything to help herself except cooperate. She let herself be numb and immune to this monster's touches. Mike stood up for a short while and unbuckled his pants. They fell to the floor with Addison's now ripped pajamas. Addison cried harder. She knew what was about to happen next. Mike entered her with a loud grunt. Addison yelped in pain and looked over at the clock: 9:10. She closed her eyes as he began thrusting in and out of her. She tried to imagine herself anywhere but where she was now. She tried to imagine herself walking along side the beach with Derek on their first wedding anniversary, when she remembered truly being happy. The warm sun was beating down on her face as Derek looked her in the eyes and told her how beautiful she was. She was jerked out of her reverie by the sound of a knock at her front door. Addison looked at the clock: 9:15. Mark. Jake came sprinting up the stairs and barged into the bedroom.

"Mike, there's a really big guy outside. I think we'd better go."

Mike turned to look at Addison, who still had her eyes tightly shut. He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him.

"WHO DID YOU CALL?!" he roared. "WHO?!"

Addison trembled as she was quickly brought back to reality.

"No one! No one, I swear!" Addison cried in between sobs. Mike gave one last thrust before he came inside of her. Addison visibly paled. He wasn't wearing a condom.

The pounding on the door grew more frantic and Addison could hear Mark calling her name. Mike gave her one last kiss and pulled out of her. He stood up and threw on his pants. Once he was dressed, he leaned down to Addison's ear.

"If you tell anyone about this, I swear to God, I'll come back here and do it again. And next time, I'll kill you," he sneered.

"Come on, I found a door leading to the outside from the kitchen," Jake urged. Mike nodded and the two of them fled from the bedroom. Addison lay there, still undressed and unable to move. She waited until she heard the kitchen door close and then screamed. Her cry was blood curdling and quickly caught Mark's attention. Mark grabbed the hidden spare key and threw open the door to the brownstone. He ran, heart pounding, as fast as he could up to the master bedroom. When he entered the room, he gasped. It was a mess. But what caught his eye immediately, was a naked, bruised, and battered Addison, lying sprawled out on the bed sobbing uncontrollably. Mark immediately ran over to her and tried to cover her up with something. He grabbed the sheet and quickly wrapped it around her.

"Oh my God, Addison. What happened?" Mark asked soothingly. Addison tried to answer, but couldn't control her crying. She found it hard to breath, so she just cried. Mark lay down next to her and tried to hold her to calm her down. Addison squirmed out of his grasp and curled herself up into a ball at the other end of the bed.

"Addison, listen to me, hold still and tell me what happened," Mark tried to reason with her, raising his voice a little to get the point across but not too much so as to scare the already terrified red head. Addison wrapped the sheet tighter around herself and pushed Mark away from her.

"Stay back, leave me alone!" she shrieked in between sobs. Mark took this opportunity to look at her bruised and swollen wrist. He gently slid himself closer to her.

"Addison, we need to call you an ambulance." No response. "Addie, baby, it's just me," Mark offered again. Addison stared at him for a while before surrendering her body into Mark's protective arms. Mark lay her back on the bed gently covering her with more blankets before lying down next to her and taking her back into his arms. He brushed the hair from her face and rubbed her back. After a few minutes, Addison's breathing regulated and only silent tears continued to fall from her face. Just as Mark was about to press the issue of what happened, Derek Shepherd walked in the bedroom door.

"What the hell is going on here?!" he yelled. Derek then focused on his wife and best friend. He could only see the back of her head, but he could see that she was only wrapped in a bed sheet. Mark had a guilty, unsure expression on his face. Derek's blood began to boil.

"Son of a…" Derek trailed off as he stormed back through the door, down the stairs, and out into the cold New York air. Mark's eyes grew wide as Addison began to sob uncontrollably once again.

A/N: so there ya go. Chapter one of Why Can't You Just Hold Me. Please review! The more reviews I get, the more ambition I have to get the next chapter up faster! –hint hint-