Title : Blame
Author : Marie (Spacefille)
Author's Notes : Raph/Leo, can be seen as a continuation of my fic "Welcome Home (I hate you)" A shout out goes to Goblin Cat KC and her take on the Raph/Leo relationship and thoughtful consideration of Leo's control/weight issues.
Warnings : Slight Master Splinter bastardization.
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It felt so good that neither one of them was listening very well. They should have been, because then they might have heard the sound of their littlest brother approaching the room, no matter how sneaky he was being.
If they didn't hear the door being opened, which they did, it was really hard to miss the yell.
"NO WAY!"
They had jerked away like from each other the moment they heard the door move, but with an exclamation like that, they hadn't been nearly quick enough. They stared at each other briefly, then, horrified, turned to look at the door.
Michaelanglo stared back at them from the doorway, his mouth hanging open.
"Shit." Raphael remarked.
"What… but…" Michaelanglo babbled incoherently as both of his brothers swiftly readjusted body parts. He finally decided he couldn't deal with it and clamped his hands to the sides of his head. "AHHHHHHHH!!!" He said as he turned and ran from the room.
"Mikey wait! We can explain!" Leonardo said, even though he had no idea how to explain this at all. He looked at Raphael again, helplessly. Raph shook his head once sharply and ran out after Mike. Leo followed.
They found him up against the kitchen wall with his forehead pressed against the bricks, hyperventilating.
Raphael approached him cautiously. "Mike?" He asked. "Hey… Mikey?"
Mikey turned suddenly and pressed his back up against the bricks now. He looked wildly from one brother to the next. Finally he opened his month and said something… something that made Leonardo instantly wish he hadn't said anything. "Dude you let Raph," He began with wide eyes, staring at Leo. "Have SEX with you?" He asked incredulously, still not believing what he saw with his own two eyes.
Leo gave Raph a bit of a pleading look when the other looked back at him.
Okay, so that meant it was up to him to explain. Raphael heaved a sigh and spread his hands wide. "Mike, look," He tried. "It's, uh, complicated…"
"You're telling me!" Mikey babbled in reply. "I just walked in on you…" He pointed wildly at Leo, "and him…" He pointed at Raph then sputtered to a halt. "I thought you guys were sparring! How the hell did that turn into, you know… THAT?"
"What's going on here?" Apparently Mikey was making enough noise to bring Donny out of hiding. The purple clad turtle frowned at whatever it was that was in his hands and placed it down on the kitchen table before turning his attention to his three brothers.
"Leo and Raph were--!" Mike started.
Both of the other two tried to cut him off with "Mikey shut up!" and "No, don't!"
"… having sex..." Mike ended, eying Raphael who had leapt forwards to grab at him.
Donatello just stood there. He looked from Raph, who had stopped just short of tackling Mike and was now giving him a horrified look, and Leo who had his head in both his hands. And other circumstance he'd just laugh Mikey off, but the way those two looked…
His jaw fell open slowly as that processed. "Raph?" He questioned. "LEO?" He turned his gaze to his older brother.
Leo looked up from his hand and gave him a very sheepish look. "Uh, hey Don."
Donatello just stared and made vague hand motions between Raph and Leo in shock.
Raphael came unstuck. "Mikey I'm going to kill you!" He declared. He finished launching himself at his brother and both of them went tumbling to the floor.
Donatello's mouth worked for several seconds before he was able to say anything. "You," He said, pointing. "Had… SEX… with him?" He pointed to the Raph/Mike fight.
If it was possible Leo looked even more embarrassed. "Uh, well, you see, it's a funny thing Don…"
"YES!" Raph called out past the choke hold Mikey had put him in. He elbowed Mikey sharply so that he could turn around and went back to tussling. "We did. May as well - uhf! - tell them the -- ahh -- truth… Leo," Now he had Michaelanglo in a hold.
Leo's hand had returned to holding his head. "Yes." He muttered.
Donatello was still processing all this. "I can't believe…" He glanced down at the two on the floor, who had seemed to have stalemated and sat there panting a bit. He looked up again, completely confused. "I mean you two hate each other! You fight all the time!"
"Maybe all of that fighting is just foreplay!" Mikey quipped, obviously now recovered from his shock or at least dealing with it the best way he knew how. Raph launched at him again with a "MIKE, I swear to god--!"
Leonardo just looked up at Donatello and gave him a bit of a helpless look. "I don't know…" He said finally in a quiet voice. "It kind of just happened."
"Yeah, RAPH just happened… OW!" Mikey tried to fend off Raphael.
Donatello would have continued, but the sound of Master Splinter's voice interrupted. "What is this my sons?"
They all froze. Mike and Raph froze in mid punch/block, Leo raised his head and stood perfectly still with an expression of utter trepidation on his face, and Donatello turned a little bit to stare at their master.
Master Splinter didn't look too pleased. "Michaelanglo! Raphael!" He snapped.
They both scrambled to their feet. As soon as they were standing there obediently he turned his attention to his best/favorite/oldest student. "What is the meaning of this my son?" He asked sternly. "Is what Michaelanglo speaks of correct?"
Leo heaved a huge sigh and hung his head. "Father," He tried. "I can explain…" He trailed off, showing that no, he really couldn't.
"Hey…" Raph gulped and took a step forwards. "You gotta know… it's not his fault. It was my idea."
Leo raised his head ever so slightly and Donatello could see the flash of gratitude in his eyes.
"Raphael." Master Splinter raised a hand to stop Raph from moving any closer. "No matter what you may think, it is your brother's responsibility to look out for and take care of each and every one of you. If any of this is true, he has failed in his responsibly immensely."
Donatello winced slightly at the harsh words, and saw Leo do the same, flinching visibly under the steel glare of their father.
Raphael was the only one that was unconvinced. "HOW?" He replied, holding his arms wide, though he didn't take a step closer. "We were only having a little bit of fun! Why's that a crime?"
"It is a GROSS misstep in judgment my son." He glared before turning his attention back to Leo. "Come," He said abruptly. "Let us speak in private."
He started off towards his room, and Leonardo obediently followed, only glancing back at Raph once. He looked like he was being carted off to the guillotine. Donatello knew as well as Raph that there was nothing they could do to help him. He was on his own against whatever lecture Master Splinter was going to give him. They all watched as they disappeared into Master Splinter's room and the door slid shut behind them with an ominous thump.
They all stared at that closed door in silence for a while. That is, until Mikey decided to speak again. "Uh, hey…" He began in a nervous voice. "Raph?"
"I'm not in the mood Mike." Raphael growled at him as he turned and stomped into the kitchen.
"Raph, I'm sorry," Mikey said, sounding truly contrite as he tried to catch up with his brother. "I didn't know Splinter would react that way!"
Raph punched the counter. "Well you should have Mike!" He hissed, visibly upset. "How else was he going to react?"
"Um… 'hey guys, that's totally cool, free love and all that'?" Mike tried hopefully.
Raphael spun around. The look on his face said he was going to kill something. Donatello dodged forwards and grabbed onto Raphael arm before he could hurt Michaelanglo.
Raphael jerked his arm out of Donatello's grip and glared at him brief before turning and walking off towards Master Splinter's room. "I've gotta do something," He muttered as he went.
"Raph, no!" Donatello tried to call after him, but it was too late. Raph had already invited himself through the door and slammed it shut behind himself.
-
Both Leo and Splinter sat kneeling on either side of Master Splinter's tea table. It would have seemed like just any other conversation between the two of them, except he could see the tension in his brother's shoulders and how low his head was bowed compared to usual.
He had to help him.
"Look. It's not Leo. It never has been." Raphael said, without even apologizing for barging in. He walked over and sat down beside Leonardo. "It's not him. Father, I pushed Leo until he couldn't handle it anymore. I made him loose control."
Splinter frowned. "Leonardo has always had lack of control when it comes to you, Raphael," He said sternly, looking right at Leo as he said it.
"He is right," Leonardo muttered.
Raphael's mouth fell open slightly. Then he closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes. "So yer saying that if I make Leo have sex with me, it's his fault?" He asked. A couple months ago, this would have been awesome to have Leo blamed for something he did. … except a couple months ago he wouldn't be asking if it was Leo's fault if he had sex with him. Stupid.
"Yes." Both of them replied at the same time.
"You should have had more control my son," Master Splinter said in a somewhat kind voice. "Practiced more restraint..."
"Yes Father." Leonardo muttered. There was pain in his voice.
Raph felt beyond frustrated. "What? No!" He turned to Leo. "Screw control, I made you do whatever I WANTED you to do! I have no restraint, not you! Stop blaming yourself for things you're not responsible for!"
Leo's eyes were still closed, head bowed. "Drop it please, Raphael," He said quietly. "Master Splinter is right."
It took all of the will power he had to do it... and he knew he only had a brief shot at it. He lunged at Leo, knocked him over on his side. In less than a second flat he had him pinned, legs pinned, hands above his head, and nipping at his neck. He was hoping for Leo to freeze like he had before and he was glad when he did despite their audience. At the same time he shot his other hand down between Leo's legs, gripping the flesh at the top of his thigh, dangerously close to…
"RAPHAEL!" Splinter's voice interrupted him before he could get any further. "That is ENOUGH!" He froze and stopped. Now he could see that Leo was staring up at him with mild fear…. But that was okay, he wasn't planning to hurt him, only to prove a point… that he was in control. By not fighting him Leo had played a long exactly how he wanted him too, placing the blame directly where it belonged. On himself. He made a little "heh" noise and got to his feet, leaving Leo to lay there stunned on the floor.
He wasn't sure if he had EVER seen the look on his Master's face that he saw right then. Complete and utter contempt and something fairly close to rage.
"Leave." The master ordered quietly. "Now."
Raphael raised his head slightly, his smile growing bitter sweet. He glanced once more at Leo, who was looking at him with worry and what looked like a hint of longing in his eyes, then turned and left the room.
-
He knew it was over. Mikey and Don looked up from the table as Raph walked by them and headed for his room. He grabbed his trench coat and shrugged it on, then grabbed his hat. He looked around it and then decided there wasn't anything much he wanted… then caught sight of a picture of Leo April had drawn way back when. He smiled slightly and folded it, tucking in one of the trench coat pockets.
Mike and Don where still sitting there when he reemerged. They looked worried. Splinter and Leo were still behind the closed door.
Raph almost didn't stop. Almost. At the last second he changed his mind and turned back to Don. "Tell Leo." He said in a quiet voice so that only the two of them could hear. "Tell him I'm sorry I couldn't save him."
Donatello looked surprised for a moment, then nodded. Raphael even managed a slight smile at Mikey so he didn't beat him self up too terribly about this before turning and leaving their home.
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