He didn't want for it to end this way. He didn't want to see everybody's anguished faces staring down at him. Luffy's hard expression while biting his lip, Nami's teary eyes, Chopper's shocked face, Usopp's horror, Robin's concern and Franky's eyes hidden but tears streaking down from beneath the dark glasses. That wuss.
And Zoro. Sanji wanted to give him a good kick. He shouldn't be looking so… so… lost. He should be nudging the body with his foot, punching him, telling him to get back on his feet. Not this.
"Sanji." So it took this to elicit his name from those lips. Sanji couldn't bear to hear the raw agony in that low voice.
Sanji knew something was terribly wrong. His eyes were closed but he could see everything. Did that mean he was dead? No, he couldn't leave his body, but he couldn't do anything with it either. It was as if he was still linked to his body with a thread, half of him writhing to leave, but half desperately clinging on.
Was this what it was like to be hanging between life and death?
If it was, he wanted to live.
He still had not accomplished his dream of seeing All Blue, and he definitely didn't want to go down like this. Fighting some no-name Marines, even if they did have a Vice Admiral at the helm of the ship. If he had to go, he should at least die elegantly, saving Nami-san's or Robin-chan's lives. Even Usopp's or Chopper's would suffice.
Not like this; stabbed in the back with a sword held (not wielded, he wasn't even that skilled) by a random, burly Marine. For once, Sanji felt naked without any weapons to defend himself except his legs. He supposed death could do that to him.
Sanji could feel the blood seeping out of the wound, staining his new shirt. He could even feel his uncomfortable position, lying on his front with uneven floorboards poking his ribs.
He watched as Zoro gingerly lifted his body and pull out the sword. He flung the weapon aside – unlike him to mistreat a sword – and Sanji could see the helplessness in his eyes.
"We've got to get off this ship." Nami said, her voice wavering and distant.
Chopper tied a strip of cloth around his midriff to halt any more blood loss but was unable to do much more because the fighting was still going on. Luffy had disappeared, probably to attack the Vice Admiral to temporarily incapacitate the Marines. Franky had left to fetch the Sunny.
Zoro hefted Sanji's body very carefully – Sanji frowned mentally – over his shoulder and headed for their ship. Strange, Sanji couldn't feel those calloused hands or the heat emanating from Zoro's body. Was he losing his senses?
Nami electrocuted the Marines ahead and Usopp fired a few well-aimed shots with his Kabuto, giving Zoro a path in all the mess. Sanji could hear Chopper's faraway voice asking Zoro to hurry and meet him in the infirmary.
A few Marines blocked the route and Zoro snarled, using his free hand and one of his swords to slash them away with a bladeless cut. It looked so much cooler from afar, Sanji mused. He could see the fury in Zoro's eyes; fury that would have intimidated him had it been directed at him.
Zoro leapt from the ship and onto the approaching Sunny. Sanji half-expected to feel the jolt when they landed, but remembered he couldn't feel anything except the sensation of the floor against his front. He was scared, he admitted. His immaterial stomach sank with dread.
A terrific explosion sounded form the ship behind them, and Sanji supposed it would have been deafening had he been able to hear properly. Zoro was totally unfazed and ran straight to the infirmary.
"Even you can't get lost on the Sunny." Sanji remarked cleverly in his head.
He lay Sanji down tenderly on the bed. Sanji would have blanched but something in Zoro's eyes stopped him.
"How is he? Is he…" Zoro's voice trailed off. Odd, his voice sounded close to Sanji.
Chopper's eyes were brimming with tears as he felt for a pulse. "I can't feel anything…" His voice was almost a whisper. Zoro's eyes steeled. "Check again." Sanji wanted to move his hand to take Chopper's, to reassure him he was okay, but he couldn't feel anything any longer.
Another distant explosion rocked the ship, and the next thing he knew the Sunny was flying away with the last of Franky's Coup De Burst.
(((()))))
Sanji was tired.
He desperately wanted to sleep. He had been awake for two days straight, except nobody knew. He had a feeling that if he did sleep, he wouldn't be seeing the infirmary or anything worldly anymore. And he wasn't ready to die; not with so many things unsaid to his nakama.
He wanted to reaffirm his undying devotion to the two ladies, tell Franky that although they hadn't known each other for very long, he was an invaluable addition to the crew, and tell Usopp and Chopper how much he had enjoyed joking around with them. He wanted to tell Luffy that he had never regretted choosing to follow him as a captain, and how much he loved cooking for him.
Maybe if he pulled through, he'd even tell Zoro about the silly little crush he had harboured for him. That's it! If he made it, he would tell him. So, Kami, let me live, he thought fervently.
The first day since they escaped, Luffy had tried to feed the lifeless body with clumsily made food (Sanji wondered who had made it), but was chased away by a rabid Chopper.
The two ladies had stayed by his bedside for several hours during the day, reading or chatting in soft, soothing voices. They looked up from time to time at the body in front of them, Nami giving little sighs. Oh, how Sanji wanted to swoon at their worried yet beautiful faces! But the whole unable-to-move thing inconvenienced him. Immaterial Sanji sulked.
Usopp and Franky visited him too, Usopp's head bowed and tears trickling down the long nose, while Franky strummed the guitar but was (thankfully) stopped from singing.
"Stop acting like I'm already dead!" Sanji yelled silently, but nobody could hear him.
It was lonely during meal times, and ever lonelier after Chopper left to go to bed. He wondered in the back of his mind where a certain stupid green-haired man was.
Zoro entered when it was way past midnight – Sanji could see the clock on the wall. Did the idiot marimo come to stare at his defenseless, pathetic body? No, he didn't even switch on the lights.
He sat down by the bed, face lit up by the moonlight. He was haggard, hair unkempt and eyes weary. Sanji snorted.
"Did you bathe, marimo? I can smell you from here and I don't even have a functional nose."
No reply. Just a sigh.
"Stupid cook." Zoro whispered. His voice sounded so real, not like the rest of his nakama whose voices sounded far away.
"Idiot dartbrow ero-cook." But there was no menace in his tone.
"Damn muscle-head, stop it!" Sanji snapped. He didn't like this Zoro. There was no fire in his eyes, no spite in his voice…
"Don't run away from your job. Who's going to feed us now? I don't miss your food but you know Luffy." Zoro growled. Ah, there was the marimo he knew. Sanji smiled in spite of the situation.
His eyes widened when Zoro took Sanji's hand.
"You're cold." Zoro muttered. Sanji looked at his own body. It was paler than ever in the moonlight, almost waxen, as though he was already… Zoro pulled the blanket over Sanji's body.
There was a long silence as Zoro stared at the wall.
"You know, it's my fault you're like this." Zoro finally spoke. His eyes wandered to Sanji's face.
"I saw the Marine sneaking up on you." Zoro continued. His expression lightened with a smirk, but Sanji saw it was forced. "I just didn't think you would be such a wimp and get hurt."
The smirk faltered, then disappeared.
"I saw you get stabbed." Zoro's voice caught, and Sanji reached out a ghostly hand to touch the man's shoulder.
"I could have stopped him." Zoro put his head in his hands. "But I didn't. I should have known you couldn't have handled it." He sounded accusing but it was directed at himself.
"I could have – " Zoro choked, and Sanji felt a lump rise in his throat (if he had one).
Another long silence, as Sanji looked away to let Zoro wipe away his tears.
"Chopper says he doesn't know if you'll survive. The sword struck an important vein or whatever." Zoro mumbled.
Sanji wanted to kick him, punch him, throw him against the wall and kiss him senseless; anything to let Zoro know he was alive. And most of all, give Zoro a good ass-whooping for not thinking Sanji was strong enough to pull through. After all, Zoro was the one who was usually near death after their battles.
The swordsman sat there for almost the whole night, staring unseeingly at the body, lost in his thoughts. He was mostly frowning the entire time, his eyes dark. Sanji couldn't do anything except talk to him, though he didn't get any reply.
"You should get some sleep, baka. Without me, Luffy's lost one of the stronger men." Sanji said to the air.
Zoro scratched his head.
"And you better take care of Nami-swan and Robin-chwan." Sanji chided.
Zoro sighed.
"I always liked you." Sanji said stupidly, feeling brave enough to say it aloud since Zoro couldn't hear him. "I don't know why or how, because you're a dumb muscled bull with a cursed sense of direction."
The swordsman dozed off against the bed, and Sanji wished he could feel the soft green hair against his ear, but he couldn't feel anything, and he could have sworn the connection to his body was getting weaker.
The second day, Zoro left before dawn, features contorted in what looked like frustration, and Chopper came in some time later. The little reindeer bustled around, spending a lot of time flipping through his medical books.
The rest of the crew visited him again, one after another, but no marimo again. Sanji convinced himself Zoro was wasting his time napping on the deck or engaging in his daily, mindless training. He huffed, contenting himself with listening to Usopp narrating to his body an exciting tall tale about his adventures at sea.
Zoro didn't even come that night, and Sanji spent an excruciatingly lonely night in the infirmary, unable to leave his body and watch his nakama sleeping.
He was getting tired, too. It took effort to stay awake even though he wasn't actually alive. He was just an apparition hovering above his body, half-connected to it by an invisible line. He wasn't ready to sever it, no matter what Kami had planned for him, so he spent his time thinking about what to do when, not if, he regained consciousness.
Sanji felt his mind becoming dizzy, and when he gazed out the porthole, he started to see stars that weren't there. Staying alive was much harder then he thought it would be…
Maybe if he just took a small nap…
Sub-consciously he imagined hearing the snip of a pair of scissors as it began cutting away his connection to his body. In his confused stupor he closed his eyes and everything went black.
You'll be free, finally…
And suddenly there was a huge jolt to his mind and all he could feel were lips kissing him desperately. It took a world of effort but he opened his eyes – they felt like they hadn't done that in a long time – and a head of green hair was blocking his field of vision.
Zoro? …Kissing him?
If he was a girl he'd melt and accept it.
But he wasn't. So he did the only thing he wanted to do.
He kissed back, hard.
The moment he did, Zoro sprang back, eyes wildly confused. "Sanji?"
"Ugh…" Sanji had a massive headache, and blinking hurt. He tried to sit up, but a searing pain shot through his upper torso. "Damn it." He cursed.
"You're…" Zoro's eyes were impossibly wide. He swiftly regained composure and displayed an impressively disdainful expression. "You're still hurt, idiot cook, don't move."
He froze for while, as if doubtful if he was dreaming or not.
"I'm alive, marimo." The insult was a trigger and Zoro snapped to attention. "I'll get Chopper." He sidled out the door, albeit clumsily, and returned with the entire crew.
"You're alive!" Chopper flung his small body against Sanji, who winced heavily.
"Doctor!" Usopp chastised. Chopper promptly got to work giving Sanji restoratives and Luffy returned with a large bento and an even larger grin.
"Robin and Franky took over the cooking." Nami smiled. "But Zoro made you the first bento." Sanji recalled the unappealing plate of food Luffy had tried to force-feed him. Sanji smirked. "I can believe that."
He looked around for Zoro, but the green-haired man was nowhere to be found. Trust him to run away like that. He made a mental note to give that man a good kick to the head once he got out of bed.
After much fussing over him, Chopper firmly forced them all out of the infirmary.
"You're still badly hurt." Chopper said, replacing his bandages. "But looks like you managed to overcome the worst. Now you just need a lot of rest and nourishment." Sanji thought professional Chopper was oddly cute.
"Baka! I won't be happy if you say something like that!" Chopper wiggled. Sanji must have said what he was thinking aloud.
Zoro entered, not meeting anyone's eyes. Chopper eyed him, but approved his presence, and left the two of them alone. Sanji sat up and let his legs hang down from the bedside and brush against the floor. His wound didn't hurt him much now since Chopper had given him some painkillers.
"Thanks for the bento. I didn't get to eat it though." Sanji said. "I think I would have really died if I did." He smirked.
Zoro just stared at the floor. "You scared me." He muttered. "I was actually scared."
"Normal people have emotions, yes." Sanji told him.
"This was different." The swordsman came closer.
"You didn't visit me much." Sanji remarked, and Zoro's head jerked upwards. "How did you…?"
"I was awake the whole time. I heard and saw everything." Sanji stated simply. "And I don't blame you for what happened to me. I was just not strong enough."
Zoro's eyes widened, then narrowed. "You mean you were that close to dying?"
"It was better than actually dying." Sanji snorted. "It's like I had a choice, and too much time to reflect on my life. It flashed before my eyes a couple of times." He joked.
Zoro's expression was one of utmost seriousness. "I'm glad you didn't, though."
Sanji shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I gathered. From what I woke up to." He wanted to add that Zoro's kiss had probably saved him from being pulled into the darkness forever. Zoro seemed to understand, and smiled. Sanji stared; it wasn't often the other man smiled.
"I spent the day reading Nami's bookshelf. I wanted to find a way to help you." Zoro continued.
Sanji chuckled. "I doubt you could do anything Chopper couldn't."
"But I did, didn't I?" Zoro retorted. His words sank in and Sanji's smile widened into a smirk. An evil grin.
"You read those fairy tales?" Sanji asked.
"It worked." Zoro replied, deadly serious.
They sat together in companionable silence for a while, Zoro sitting at the edge of the bed. Sanji recalled his promise to Kami and mulled over his thoughts.
"You know, I've always liked you." He repeated, but this time Zoro could hear him. He expected some surprise, or even disgust, but he just got a snigger.
"I know, love cook. I'm not blind or dumb." Zoro said, eyes boring into his.
Sanji frowned. "Could have fooled me." He grumbled, looking away from those bright eyes that were studying him.
He suddenly remembered that he had a lot of other things to say to the rest of the Strawhat crew, but before he could utter another word Zoro leaned in and kissed him hungrily.
And as Sanji lay back on the bed, kissing back, he thought he could leave all those words for later.
After all, he thought with a rush of relief and smiled into Zoro's mouth, the rest would be there waiting when they were done.
Eh I don't fancy the ending, and I have no idea how I got the idea for this fic. o.o All I've been doing this weekend is admin work for my mom's office. Anyway, I don't usually do angst, if ever, so please spare me.
Comments and concrit are always loved. :3 But thanks for the faves too! (: Hope you enjoyed reading.