Hey, I know I should really be updating my other story but I've kind of hit a dry patch with it. Don't worry I'll get around to it, hopefully sooner rather than later. I just felt like writing and since the site is not working right now, I thought I'd start a fresh. Hope you enjoy.

Summary: Haley and Nathan are dating; they are still in high school. They aren't married or pregnant. Actually, Nathan is still an ass, he knows he loves Haley but he can't help who he is. Haley loves him but she doesn't know how much more she can take.

"Bye Babe" Nathan slurred. He was drunk again, he was always drunk. It's something she should expect now, but there's always this small part were she thinks the sun shines through. She thinks that one day he will change, he will grow to be the man she knows he can be, be the amazing boyfriend she wants.

However, that day has yet to shine upon this couple. Haley sometimes doubts that it will ever happen, but she tells herself that it will happen, it has to, for the sake of him and her. She wants to spend the rest of her life with this guy, but she isn't sure if he could commit. She needed more from him; she needed him to step up for her. Deep down, she knew it was never going to happen.

"Bye Nathan" she gave him a sad smile and a pack on the cheek as she made her way up to her front door. How many times had she done this? Come home from a bad date with Nathan or come back from a drunken party, you think she would be happy, but she wasn't.

Her life didn't feel right to her, she felt that she didn't belong, like she was out of place. Even though she was popular and she dated the star basketball player, that didn't make her life perfect and that was one thing that people often misperceived about Haley James. They all seemed to think that she was PERFECT, in fact they were all pretty sure that she was. They had no doubt about it. By "they" I mean the rest of her student body, the ones who watched her day-in and day-out. They looked on and saw her smile, but they never did see the sadness in her eyes. They looked but they never really saw. They assumed but they never really knew.

Haley climbed the stairs up to her room, it was another lonely night in her parent's big mansion alone. They were never home, they just threw money at her and expected her to be happy. In some way they thought they were giving her the perfect life but one key ingredient was missing: love from her parents. Yeah, sometimes it was good for Haley, she got to stay out late and got to come home drunk from parties and no one would know. She could even throw parties in her house whenever she wanted and the next day the maid service would clean up the mess. You may call this luck. She thought otherwise, she would rather sit at home with her parents playing scrabble. She didn't like going to endless parties with her drunk, ass of a boyfriend.

When Nathan and Haley had started going out, yeah he was great but then he got more into his basketball and then he got invited to more parties; obviously she had to go with him. That's the point in her life when it all changed, her boyfriend changed and because of that everything changed, he is her everything. She knows it's weak to have someone mean your world, but she had nobody else. Yes she had close friends but Nathan is hers.

Tonight was the same as any other night. Nathan comes to get me, he says we are going to the "biggest party of the year," but that's what every party seems to be. So we arrive, we hold hands walking in, I don't know what it is but when we are in public I feel the need to play the great girlfriend and as if we as a couple have no flaws – people do buy it. But when we're alone, it's totally different – he's totally different. He goes from the charming guy, to the drunk ass. He shouts a lot when he's drunk. Anyway back to the story, he drank a lot tonight, a little more than usual but it didn't really bother him, he didn't care. Maybe some day he'll realise what he was doing to himself all those years ago.

So we had a drink, then we talked to some of our friends. We danced. Had "fun." Then I wanted to go home, he kind of went a bit angry because we hadn't stayed long enough. He didn't want to go. So we argued a little – eventually he gave in and took me home. We didn't exactly make up – I know he'll go back to the party and probably sleep with some random girl.

It's got to the stage were it doesn't hurt when he sleeps with random girls anymore, he's done it so many times – it just doesn't effect me. You think he'd try and keep it a secret but he doesn't, it's as if he tries to brag about it in front of me just to annoy and tease me. He only does it in the hope that I cave in to him. We haven't exactly done it, you know? I'm not ready and well he doesn't have enough respect for me so why should I? It's not a small thing to me, it's actually quite a big thing. I want it to be special and great.

Someday, perhaps Nathan Scott will understand everything. Maybe he'll understand that he was an ass and that he should've tried harder in life. But for me well I won't be there for that day. Because tonight was the icing on the cake for me, the final straw, it was over, I've had enough. Tonight I finally built up enough courage to do what I want to do and well I guess you know by now don't you.

Tonight, I went to my cupboard in my toilet and I picked out a few bottles and then I got a glass of water. I emptied the pills out on the table. I took one at a time, they were all different colours – yellows, blues, reds, greens. These colours are to take my pain away. Take it all away. The last one just slid down my throat. I need to lie down now. So I'm going to finish this now. I tried to beat life, you said when the worlds fighting against you, you need to fight back – I tried. I really did but I'm just not strong enough. I will always love you, you were my first and true love – you don't even realise you are my reason, my one and only reason.

Yours Sincerely

Haley James

P.s – Nathan please try to be the man I know you can be. Maybe you couldn't be that guy for me, but you'll make some girl very happy.

You guys may be a bit confused, wasn't my best work but it all came out at once. I was in writing mode. It was a kind of suicide note from Haley to Nathan. Not sure what to think of it, but may be nice to hear what you think. Thanks for reading guys. It was a one shot only!