Quatre Goes Insane
By ArtemisFowlCM May/June 2000
Quatre: How are you all doing? Everyone in the Asylum: CRAZY! HE! HE! HE! (and other assorted maniacal laughing and such craziness.) Quatre: Why did you all go nuts all of the sudden? WuFei: Must Love Jackals! Must love jackals! (Still sitting dazed and Indian style, but now swaying back and forth because his thumbs are restrained.) Treize: Where's my cookie!? Une: No! Cotton Candy! Quatre: Okay that's nice. I think I'm gonna go talk to the few sane people we have left. (At this point that only leaves Heero, Noin, Zechs, Relena, and Dorothy. On the way he picked up cookies and cotton candy to give Treize and Une on his next vistit, then ate them when he remebered the 'Please don't feed the patients' sign. Then he knocked on the door of Heero & Relena's house.) Heero: Hello Quatre. Quatre: Don't eat the poles! Heero: (Thinkin: Not another one.) Please step away from the house. Quatre: May I pet your orange juice? Heero: Relena! Lock all of the doors and windows! Relena: Why? Heero: Quatre's outside and gone crazy too! Relena: Oh fine, another one! (She sighs. Heero wonders: Quatre too eh? I wonder who's next. Someone please gag me with a fork!.) Quatre: It's okay! All I do is eat houses! (He said this in the calmest and most sincere tone ever.) Heero: Relena, hurry it up! (Relena tosses a toy mouse out the window before she shuts it, figuring a neighborhood cat would take it. Quatre got down on his hands and knees and chased it over the yard. Somehow he pulled his violin out from under a rock and beat the **** out of the mouse.) Relena: (Peering out of the shut window.) What an unusually large cat, oh my gosh that's Quatre! Maybe he had too much non-alcoholic Champaign. (Heero shut the door and went inside. Then Quatre jumped into the sewer.) Quatre: Come out, come out wherever you are my sewer rat minions! (All the sewer rats come out.) Come my minions! I am the ruler, the king of the rats! Rats: Squeak! Squeak! Quatre: Come! We must raid Heero's house and the Insane Asylum! He he he! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Free them. all! (Quatre and the rats climb out of the sewer and went to Heero's house, attracting a few local cats.) Get the missiles! Trowa's flammable duck! (That doesn't really exist, or does it?) and a basketball hoop! Wait! I'm a house eater, I can get in there myself. (He accidentally lit the duck and threw it at the house. It burned a hole in the house's wall and luckily the duck landed in the sink and burned out. Trowa made a temporary escape from the asylum.) Trowa: Didn't yo Mama eva tell ya not ta burn otta yo's stuff? (Then he ran back to the asylum. Quatre saw Heero running away with Relena behind him, but one rat jumped up and hut her in the face causing her to faint.) Quatre: (With the rats playing triumphant music in the background.) To the Mental Institute! ~- Later -~ Guard: Sorry little boy but visiting hours are over, and the rats are a sanitation issue. Quatre: Number one, I'm not a little boy. Number two, this is important. We must free the Mental Cases! Guard: No! Ditch the rats and I might be nice. Quatre: (Putting his hand on the magically appearing V-Shape pin on his vest.) Beam me up Scottie! Guard: Wait a sec, you're a Vulcan alien! Your name isn't Quatre is it!? It' s Spok! I gotta throw you in the cell for that! (So he did, Now Quatre sat in his own cell sending the rats out to do more sinister deeds. Note: Relena, Dorothy, Zechs, and Heero are the only sane people left.) END Hope ya liked it! Note: NO DUCKS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FIC! Sorry, dun wanna get in trouble. I dun own these characters they are copyrighted 2 other ppl
Quatre: How are you all doing? Everyone in the Asylum: CRAZY! HE! HE! HE! (and other assorted maniacal laughing and such craziness.) Quatre: Why did you all go nuts all of the sudden? WuFei: Must Love Jackals! Must love jackals! (Still sitting dazed and Indian style, but now swaying back and forth because his thumbs are restrained.) Treize: Where's my cookie!? Une: No! Cotton Candy! Quatre: Okay that's nice. I think I'm gonna go talk to the few sane people we have left. (At this point that only leaves Heero, Noin, Zechs, Relena, and Dorothy. On the way he picked up cookies and cotton candy to give Treize and Une on his next vistit, then ate them when he remebered the 'Please don't feed the patients' sign. Then he knocked on the door of Heero & Relena's house.) Heero: Hello Quatre. Quatre: Don't eat the poles! Heero: (Thinkin: Not another one.) Please step away from the house. Quatre: May I pet your orange juice? Heero: Relena! Lock all of the doors and windows! Relena: Why? Heero: Quatre's outside and gone crazy too! Relena: Oh fine, another one! (She sighs. Heero wonders: Quatre too eh? I wonder who's next. Someone please gag me with a fork!.) Quatre: It's okay! All I do is eat houses! (He said this in the calmest and most sincere tone ever.) Heero: Relena, hurry it up! (Relena tosses a toy mouse out the window before she shuts it, figuring a neighborhood cat would take it. Quatre got down on his hands and knees and chased it over the yard. Somehow he pulled his violin out from under a rock and beat the **** out of the mouse.) Relena: (Peering out of the shut window.) What an unusually large cat, oh my gosh that's Quatre! Maybe he had too much non-alcoholic Champaign. (Heero shut the door and went inside. Then Quatre jumped into the sewer.) Quatre: Come out, come out wherever you are my sewer rat minions! (All the sewer rats come out.) Come my minions! I am the ruler, the king of the rats! Rats: Squeak! Squeak! Quatre: Come! We must raid Heero's house and the Insane Asylum! He he he! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Free them. all! (Quatre and the rats climb out of the sewer and went to Heero's house, attracting a few local cats.) Get the missiles! Trowa's flammable duck! (That doesn't really exist, or does it?) and a basketball hoop! Wait! I'm a house eater, I can get in there myself. (He accidentally lit the duck and threw it at the house. It burned a hole in the house's wall and luckily the duck landed in the sink and burned out. Trowa made a temporary escape from the asylum.) Trowa: Didn't yo Mama eva tell ya not ta burn otta yo's stuff? (Then he ran back to the asylum. Quatre saw Heero running away with Relena behind him, but one rat jumped up and hut her in the face causing her to faint.) Quatre: (With the rats playing triumphant music in the background.) To the Mental Institute! ~- Later -~ Guard: Sorry little boy but visiting hours are over, and the rats are a sanitation issue. Quatre: Number one, I'm not a little boy. Number two, this is important. We must free the Mental Cases! Guard: No! Ditch the rats and I might be nice. Quatre: (Putting his hand on the magically appearing V-Shape pin on his vest.) Beam me up Scottie! Guard: Wait a sec, you're a Vulcan alien! Your name isn't Quatre is it!? It' s Spok! I gotta throw you in the cell for that! (So he did, Now Quatre sat in his own cell sending the rats out to do more sinister deeds. Note: Relena, Dorothy, Zechs, and Heero are the only sane people left.) END Hope ya liked it! Note: NO DUCKS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FIC! Sorry, dun wanna get in trouble. I dun own these characters they are copyrighted 2 other ppl