Note: An alternate version of Tess and Johnny's conversation…with unexpected results. I've always found that to be in interesting scene, and I thought I would expand on the concept a bit. We'll see where it goes. Oh yes, and I've also borrowed a line from the comic since I love it so much…couldn't leave it out. Ah-hah. Also, I do not own Johnny, Dillon, Tess, etc…they are all property of Jhonen Vasquez. As if you did not already know that. With that out of the way…

Devil's Advocate

Chapter 1: The Deal

She could only remember a sharp jolt of pain followed by darkness. Darkness and the occasional splash of light as she blinked now and then, having been dragged for over a mile. She now awoke to a dank and rotting room, dim light playing off of the walls. Her neck and back ached miserably. When she tried to move forward, she found herself stopped short by chains that enclosed her hands and feet, holding her fast to the cold wall. Blinking, she could not bring the rest of the room into focus, as her glasses had slipped off of her nose and were lying just out of reach on the floor.

One thing was for sure: this was not turning out to be the evening that Tess had in mind. Resisting the urge to scream, she tried to think. She and Dillon were just walking back from the movies when—

"Ugh…wha…where are we…?" Dillon's voice cut into the silence abruptly, unnaturally. Tess swung her head to the right to see that her boyfriend was hanging from the wall in roughly the same fashion as she was, the only difference being that several wires extended from behind him, leading to what looked like an old-fashioned lever to Tess's left. Dillon continued to mumble, and Tess's remonstrations only served to bolster his confidence.

"Where…where are we, Tess? What the fuck am I doing in these chains? I want answers, dammit! WHO DID THIS?"

"Keep your voice down!" Tess whispered harshly. "Don't you see it's not helping?"

"I DON'T CARE! Someone's going to have to come down here eventually, and when they do, I'm going to kick their fuckin' ass!" Dillon struggled against his restraints once more, his only reward being the loud rattling of the chains. He settled back against the wall, uttering one last profanity for good measure. "Fuck…"

Tess sighed and leaned back, as best she could, against the wall. Dillon seemed to have quieted down for a bit, and she used this time to try to piece together what had happened prior to them being chained up in this unfamiliar room. They had been walking out of the movies when they had been jumped by someone following them…a thin, lanky man dressed all in black. Yet he wasn't entirely unfamiliar…

"It was that fucking goth kid!" Dillon yelled suddenly. "Now I remember! He followed us out of that Kafka flick and…" Ignoring his ironic labeling of their assaulter as "goth," Tess lashed out, exasperated.

"Just shut the hell UP, alright? We don't know that for sure…we don't even know where we ARE, Dillon."

"How can you be so calm right now? I tell you, as soon as I see that kid, I'm going to fuck him up beyond all recognition!"

"I heard that." Both Tess and Dillon jumped at this new voice, which seemed to be coming from somewhere to Tess's left. She squinted and saw that a pool of light now illuminated an open door and a staircase that led upwards. Standing in the light was an extraordinarily thin young man, his spiky dark hair swept precariously over his face. This did not obscure his eyes, however, which were narrowed menacingly in their direction. His dark clothing seemed to blend into the background, lending his appearance a terrifying, supernatural quality. He paced noiselessly over to Dillon, his cloak flaring out behind him. Dillon blinked in surprise at their captor's sudden appearance, rendering him silent only for a moment.

"It WAS you! Let me out of this thing, you fucking psycho!" Johnny stood within arm's reach of Dillon, but with his hands shackled against the wall, he could do little but strain.

"You aren't in any position to be making demands," Johnny said softly, striding back over to the entrance. He rested his hand lightly upon the lever that Tess had noticed earlier, flexing his fingers as if he hadn't used them in a while. "Looks like I will have to teach you." In one fluid motion, Johnny pulled the lever, and Dillon screamed and shook as if with an electrical shock and then slumped forward, his hair singed. Tess had remained speechless throughout this whole exchange for fear of what else this man could do, but she could hold her tongue no longer.

"You…you didn't kill him, did you? Wha-why…?"

With a look of extreme incredulity, Johnny sighed and swept his hair back. His hand rested on his neck, as if this was some daily occurrence that he was explaining to an ignorant child. "No. He's not dead. Yet."

"But why are you doing this? And only to him? What did we do?"

"You're telling me you don't remember this cretin laughing and carrying on in the theatre? I couldn't hear myself think, much less hear the movie that I was attempting to watch! Fucking people."

Tess shook her head, hardly believing her ears. Despite the absurdity of the situation, she couldn't shake the feeling that she knew him from somewhere, had seen him somewhere before. "This is why we're here? Because Dillon was…"

"Being an ass," Johnny offered. "You're catching on."

"Okay, yeah, maybe he was being an asshole. A real asshole." She paused. "But…but that's hardly a reason to torture someone!"

Johnny looked at her wryly. "I believe that is where we differ in opinion. You really should choose your friends more wisely…but he'll come in handy sooner or later." With another swift movement, he flicked on the wall light, illuminating the room in its entirety. Tess shut her eyes to the sudden brightness, opening them to see, however blurrily, the opposite wall of the room. To her disgust, it was covered in a shimmering red substance that could only be…blood.

"So it's you! You're the one who's been killing all of those people."

"Yes, yes…I've been doing all of that," replied Johnny nonchalantly. "But I'm also the creative force behind Happy Noodle Boy, so forgive me and shut up."

"Hmm, right. I couldn't help but notice that you only shocked Dillon, though…not that I'm complaining or anything."

"You're collateral damage, I'm afraid. Guilty by association, as it were."

"So…what? Am I just going to be carved up for display as well?"

Johnny scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Good question. I'm not exactly sure yet. I'm actually in quite a good mood right now. It's a beautiful night. Anything could happen! In fact, I think I'll spare you the humiliation of joining…Dillon as extra material for the wall. That doesn't entirely let you off the hook, though."

Oh joy, thought Tess.

"No, I won't need your friend for a while, seeing as I just painted it yesterday," he said rather cheerfully as Tess took in the sight of the crimson wall. "Good thing I passed those circus clowns on the way home." Walking forward, Johnny stopped a few paces from the wall itself. He appeared to be scrutinizing its surface, placing his hand against the plaster. When he spoke again, it wasn't to Tess, but to the room itself, and perhaps even to the wall in front of him.

"I've got to keep doing it, and I will…I've got to paint it with blood. If I don't, something terrible will happen. But…but who am I to believe that? What if I just left it? Fuck it! I'll kill someone because I want to, not because I'm subordinate to some higher force! …Shut the hell up, Eff! I know I fucked up!" Having been unnervingly calm and even somewhat amiable a moment earlier, he was now almost manic in his inner discourse, shrieking nonsensically at no one but the wall. He pounded it for effect, his other hand clasping his hair in barely contained rage. "I-I just want a Brainfreezie right now."

"Yes! That's where I know you!" Tess blurted. "Brainfreezies! I've seen you in the bookstore…the one near the 24/7. With a Brainfreezie…" She trailed off as he stalked over to her, his eyes wide.

"You've WHAT?"

"I-I…I've seen you!" she repeated. "The-the bookstore…talking to Devi, and--"

"Devi?" The name seemed to trigger a strange response in Johnny, and he stepped back from Tess, cocking an unsure eyebrow at her. He was almost talking to himself again. "No…no. This doesn't make sense. Not now, not now when I'm so close to obliterating emotion. You know Devi?" His hands now gripped her shoulders tightly

"Sort of…why does it matter?" Completely flabbergasted by her captor's fluctuating moods, Tess could only think to keep the conversation going, as she had recently noticed a rack further down the wall that held what looked suspiciously like butcher's knives. She didn't doubt that he knew how to use them.

"Why does it matter?" Johnny yelped, releasing her shoulders. "It was the only thing that mattered to me. I…I didn't immortalize the moment. They wanted me to. And now…she'll have nothing to do with me."

Immortalize the moment? They? Tess thought. I have no idea what he's talking about, but maybe I can get out of this yet.

"What if I said I could help you find her? Talk to her, even?"

For the first time since he could remember, Johnny was rooted to the spot. He blinked slowly, wrestling with his inner demons as they pondered this turn of events. Unknown to Tess, of course, Mr. Eff and Psycho Doughboy vied for Johnny's attention, altering his emotions accordingly with their constant salvo of comments.

Why not, my boy? snickered Mr. Eff. What better way to get the job finished? Wipe out that last hurdle! No more emotions to get attached to…admit it, they've been holding back your true potential!

Oh, you know better than to listen to his shit, Nny! What good will that do? You're better off killing both of them and ending it now! And after all that work on that gun contraption upstairs…you're going to just abandon it? Foolishness!

"Shut the hell up, both of you!" Johnny snarled. "I know what I'm doing."

A bit unnerved by this outburst, Tess nevertheless ventured her suggestion one last time. "Uhh…about letting me out of here and helping you, Mr…?"

Looking at her decisively, Johnny nodded. "Call me Nny."

Author Note: Well…I tried to keep in character for the most part, though Johnny may have been a bit shaky at times. I'm trying to take a different path from the "suicide" portion of issue #4, and I'm in the process of working it out. And yes, Dillon will get what's coming to him. Reviews/comments of any kind would be greatly appreciated! (And might speed up my writing of another chapter.)