Glimpse
Glimpse glimps noun, verb, glimpsed, glimps-ing.
-noun
1. a very brief, passing look, sight, or view
2. a momentary or slight appearance.
3. a vague idea; inkling
-verb
4. to catch or take a glimpse of
5. to look briefly; glance
6. to come into view; appear faintly
&&
Some people get the chance to glimpse a lifetime in one moment; others are less fortunate. Some can see the future, remember the past, and live in the present, another gift. If you only see the future yet forget the past, what is the point? You are not living; you are simply looking. A glimpse offers you a bite, a morsel of what is yet to come, or what has already passed. The glimpsing that happened is to the future. The morsel that you see in your glimpse may be delicate, tender, sweet. It also may be bitter, tough, and nasty. You cannot choose the glimpse you see; you may only receive it. It is not a coincidence that both glimpse and gift start with g. Whatever glimpse you are awarded, it is a gift, no matter how trifle or horrible it is. It is always a gift to see the future. Savor the glimpse; seeing is believing. Glimpse.
&&
She's tiny, you think when you first see her. You are eleven, too young to analyze deeply, so your first thought is her size and flames. Her hair is like flames, dancing and reflecting light. She smiles at you when you walk past, and you introduce yourself. You can see her tucking this knowledge away for later.
I'm Lily Evans, she tells you.
Someone brushes past you, laughing and calling to someone else. You glimpse his face; he has hazel bespectacled eyes and black hair that sticks up in all directions. The boy he is talking to is the same age, with longer black hair and grey eyes. He runs past the flame haired girl, not even noticing her. She ignores him as well, boarding the train.
Lily gets sorted into Gryffindor; you, Ravenclaw. The bespectacled boy and his friend you saw a glimpse of are also in Gryffindor, and they cheer loudly with pride. You see her sitting with one other girl, a brunette with chestnut hair. You watch them quietly from your table.
You learn the boys' names in your first class with the Gryffindor lions.
Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, why are you late?
They come up with a ridiculous excuse, and lose Gryffindor five points each.
Lily glares at them; that is her only acknowledgment of their existence all year. They don't notice her either. If you had a glimpse of the future, you would not have believed it.
&&
The next year, you see Lily again, and greet her on the train. She is sitting with the girl with chestnut hair, whose name, you learn, is Brenna Hodgson. They invite you to sit with them, and you accept.
When you arrive at Hogwarts, you bid farewell and head to the Ravenclaw table, azure and ebony. They head to the Gryffindor table, maroon and gold. You wish you sat with them.
Potter and Black arrive with two other boys, a sandy haired one and a pale, blonde one. They are whispering as they find seats at their table.
I wonder what's going to happen.
Halfway through the meal, there is a shriek. Lily and Brenna are standing; Brenna is desperately trying to keep her dimples from showing, and Lily is screaming. Her beautiful flame hair, the one that reflects light, is blue. Neon blue. Not the beautiful azure blue, nor the turquoise, but bright, ugly, neon blue. You glimpse four guilty looking faces who are smirking at her reaction. You feel anger rising in you, but you sit back and let the scenes unfold.
Lily now holds a permanent grudge against Potter, Black, and the two other boys. They are Lupin and Pettigrew. She ignores them in all the classes you have with her.
When they pass her in the halls, and you are with her, you glimpse a hurt look on her face. She can't stand them.
The year plays out, and the relationships unfold. Pranks are continuous…and there are two groups of people who are at the receiving end of the pranks: Slytherins of all shapes and sizes, and Lily. She reacts too well, you think. If she'd stop reacting, they'd leave her alone. You don't say a word.
&&
There is a rumour going around in third year that Potter likes Lily.
You catch a glimpse of her in the halls; she ignores everybody but Brenna now, including you. You see her face for a fleeting moment; she looks like she was carved out of stone. You feel a bubble of jealousy. Why can't Potter like me? Why her? He is popular. You love going to his quidditch games, and you join in with the chanting, even when it is Gryffindor verses Ravenclaw.
Potter! Potter!
Over the holidays you return home. It is there that a tragedy unfolds; a fatal Christmas fire puts your house up in flames. You are standing outside, not saying a word, as you watch the orange, red, and yellow flames lick at your beautiful home.
Your mother is trapped inside with your older sister. Your father and younger brother have made it out.
Red.
Orange.
Yellow.
Red…maroon.
Orange.
Yellow…gold.
Gryffindor.
You catch a fleeting glimpse of your mother in the upstairs window, screaming, as the house comes down.
Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Red. Gold.
A solid chant forms inside your head.
The house is gone.
Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Red. Gold.
You blame it on Gryffindor. It is there house colours, is it not? The lovely, brilliant, well loved Gryffindors. Popular, beautiful, brave, glorious…and wear the colour of fire. A murder weapon.
You have not made a sound.
Happy Christmas.
&&
Fourth year starts off with a bang…literally. The four boys have set of Fillibuster's Fireworks in the Great Hall. Some are amused, some are not.
You are not. They are red, gold.
Red. Gold. Red. Gold.
House pride, bullocks. It's to remind you that red and gold are the colour of death.
Then you see her. Her with the flame-coloured hair. Lily.
Lily.
Flames.
Flames licking the house—glimpse of Mother in the upstairs window—Happy Christmas.
All of a sudden, you get up and run from the hall.
Her hair is a sign of danger. How could you not have seen it before? Wherever she goes, danger will follow. Gryffindors….red & gold…how appropriate. They lead dangerous lives. Brave, yet dangerous.
Potter is still pursuing Lily. She still won't give him the time of day.
You still watch, recording these glimpses to memory; you wish for a camera, so you could record these memories forever.
&&
I would rather date the Giant Squid. Those are Lily's words to Potter, one day by the lake in fifth year.
You smirk. He really did deserve it this time.
You have gotten your camera, so you snap a picture. It shows Lily, hands on hips, yelling at an amused Potter. In the background is Black, wand pointed at Snape, and Lupin and Pettigrew underneath a tree by the Great Lake.
You save the photo. You don't know why, but it's like there is this tug saying no. Don't burn it or throw it away. You wonder why. It's like someone is denying you a glimpse of the future, but wanting you to hold onto the past.
For that's what photographs really are. A glimpse of the past.
Lily is a prefect, as are you, so you see her more often. You still are jealous of her, but you avoid her. Her hair drives you crazy. It's flames. And flames are danger.
&&
Sixth year.
You are all older. You look older, act older, talk older, dress older.
Where has all the time gone?
You were angry all this time. You haven't dated, haven't made friends. You feel cheated out of your rights.
But…It's my fault. I was bitter. You realize that Gryffindors can't help it that they live lives of danger.
One night, you happen to look outside your window. It is a full moon, white and round, and you see four shadowy shapes. One wolf, one dog, a stag, and a rat. The rat is so tiny you can barely see it there. The dog is black, and shaggy, and reminds you of Black. The stag is strange…how come it feels so comfortable around the wolf? The wolf is it's predator! The rat looks oddly out of place as well. It's so tiny it could be trampled. You get out your camera, and snap a memory. Another glimpse of the past, that you will look at in the future.
&&
The Head Boy & Girl are Potter and Lily. Or James and Lily, as you now call them. James still likes Lily. You are still a prefect.
Funny, isn't it, how prefect rearranged is perfect? You are far from perfect.
You resolve to forgive the Gryffindors in you heart; they have no idea why you despise them. After all, they didn't cause the flames.
You talk to Lily afterwards, and she smiles at you and converses with you. James comes up behind her and slips an arm around her waist. You wait for the slap, the rebuttal, but it doesn't come.
Instead, she leans into his embrace and plants a kiss on his cheek.
You are startled, and they see it. They laugh.
Lily agreed to be my girlfriend this summer, James explains.
He's matured, don't you think? Lily asks me, her eyes sparkling.
I nod yes, and snap another glimpse of the past.
Lily & James.
One evening, you are on your prefect rounds. You are up in the Astronomy tower, and for once, there are no couples in it. You take the time to gaze out the windows at the clear, crisp sky, filled with jewels in the heavens.
You sense a movement down by the lake, and glance down.
You glimpse two shadowing figures strolling hand in hand past the black waters.
They are laughing quietly together, whispering tidbits in each other's ear.
As the come into the light of the quarter moon, you see a flash of red. Flames.
It's them.
It's Lily & James.
You watch them embrace; then James bends down and plants a kiss on Lily's lips. She leans into his kiss, surrendering herself. Her arms twine around his neck; his arms wind around her small waist. They fit together perfectly.
Her flaming hair is dancing around her head, hanging loose in the moonlight.
You wonder if you will ever have a love like that, a love so strong it can overcome major barriers. An unconditional love.
You snap a picture. It is a private moment, but you have a promotion that it will someday need to be shared.
Again, you have a glimpse of the future without actually seeing.
You just…know.
Graduation is beautiful.
After you have received your diploma, you search in the crowd for yes…red.
When you glimpse the flames, you quietly walk over to wear Lily and James are standing with Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, and Brenna.
You hold up your camera and gesture towards them all.
They smile and move together into a formation.
A formation of friendship that will never be broken.
Yet it will someday betray them all.
You shiver as you feel a voice whisper to you. You push it to the back of your mind, denying it. Denial is your greatest friend.
You hold up your camera and press the button, feeling the imprint of the circle in your finger.
As it clicks, it's as if time as stopped. You feel yourself freeze, and know you are not the only one to feel it. The other six have odd looks on their faces, as if they've glimpsed something they wished they hadn't.
You slowly walk up to Lily and whisper in her ear.
Thank you.
Then you disappear.
&&
You see the news in the Daily Prophet.
Lily Evans & James Potter: Married at Last.
You feel a smile come on your face.
You read the entire article and glimpse all the pictures.
Lily is beautiful. James is handsome. The wedding party consists of Brenna as the maid of honour, and two cousins as the other two bridesmaids. Black, or Sirius—is best man, and Lupin (Remus) and Pettigrew (Peter) are best men. It is roughly the same as the picture you took at graduation a year before; they are just older, wiser, and more mature.
You take out your box of photographs. People wave at you from every picture, every memory.
There are many of Lily and James, most taken unawares. They are spontaneous, alive.
One particular picture is important, for it shows you the milestones you've overcome. It is after a quidditch game, the quidditch final—Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, and James is lifting Lily and spinning her around. The team is gathered around them, some with significant others, some random other Lions there to celebrate. There are the seven dressed in scarlet, and then there are the fans…decked out in red and gold.
Red.
Gold.
Lily's hair is flaming in the picture, spinning around her head like a ring of fire.
It shows you the prejudices, all on colour, which you have stepped over.
You wink back at the photographed images and gently repackage them away.
&&
Next, you see a birth announcement.
Harry James Potter was born to proud parents Lily & James Potter on July 31st, 1980. Also celebrating his birth were godparents Brenna Hodgson and Sirius Black, and friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.
There is a picture as well. A smiling chubby baby with almond eyes and messy hair. Lots of hair. Newborns generally don't have that much hair, but this one is special.
This one is special.
Those words are strong, creating a burning imprint in your mind. At the same time, you see flames.
Danger. Danger. Danger will follow.
You know in an instant that wherever these Gryffindors go, danger will be at their heels.
Those eyes on Harry, those eyes…they must be green. They are Lily's. Though the picture is in black and white, you know with a certainty that they are green. You glimpse a hand lovingly holding the baby's small fingers. It is slender and has a diamond on one finger. It is Lily's.
Nothing surpasses a mother's love for her child.
&&
What you see next confirms your fears.
Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Red. Gold. Danger. Danger. Danger. Gryffindor. Danger. Gryffindor. Danger.
It echoes in your mind as you gaze at the picture covering the front of the Prophet.
No. No. No.
They are dead.
Lily & James.
Unconditional love. Unsurpassed love. Never-ending love.
Lily & James.
But yet somehow, Harry is alive.
You knew. You knew that danger would follow them. For they are Gryffindors. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, their pride as their coats, and bravery is their best friend. They are red and gold, scarlet and sunshine. They live for the moment.
And for Lily & James, that moment is over.
And Harry's is just beginning.
And you know.
You know why you have to keep those pictures.
You know why you were given the chance to glimpse in on their lives. You were placed near Lily & James for a reason. To preserve their memory for their son, as their best friends will not be able to.
Those pictures, those memories, they are for Harry.
Lily & James kissing, running the Prefects meetings, fighting, laughing.
Forever preserved in film.
They are for Harry to glimpse his past.
But for now, they are yours.
And you have not a glimpse, but a glimmer of hope.
&&
Glim-mer glim-er
-noun
1. a faint or unsteady light; gleam.
2. a dim perception; inkling
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Thank you for reading 'Glimpse'. Please review and let me know what you think. If you want to know who is telling the story, please contact me.
Cheers
Charlotte Donahue
December 31, 2006
Happy New Year