Disclaimer: I could never produce characters as wonderful as those JK produced. No I don't own.
AN: This was created as a response to Umbridge's Comeuppance Prompts by Blackwolf-20. Enjoy.
There was a creak on the floor and Umbridge woke suddenly with a start. Still half-asleep, she scanned the room, wand in hand.
"Who's there?" she demanded squeakily. "Be warned that I am a Ministry official and have the full protection of the Ministry and the backing of the Minister himself!"
A dark-cloaked dementor-like figure emerged from the darkness and with a wave, Umbridge's wand was sent flying away to clatter to a halt in the corner.
"I do not fear the Ministry or the Minister. Such trivial people do not concern me," the figure said in an eerie voice that sent shivers down Umbridge's spine. "I am only interested in fairness."
"I am a loyal and law-abiding member of the min-"
"You illegally sent two dementors to attack Harry Potter. Your cruel and unpleasant punishments were both excessive and wrong. Do not pretend to be a good person Miss Umbridge," the figure interrupted and it waved a hand. "Now for your punishment."
"PUNISHMENT!" Umbridge shrieked. "I was working for the Ministries be-" the rest of her sentence vanished as she suddenly began to change shape.
"This should be fun," the figure said with a chuckle. "A lot of fun indeed."
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
"Where AM I?" Umbridge asked as she landed with a thump.
"At Hogwarts of course," answered a voice she didn't recognise. "A better question would be WHAT are you?"
"What do you mean, what am I? I am Delores Umbridge, Secretary to the Minister for ma-"
"Not at the moment you're not," the voice cut in. Umbridge looked around at the slightly wet floor and the closed cubicle door.
"WHAT DID HE TURN ME INTO!" she screeched.
"You, my dear Delores Umbridge, are currently residing as a toilet of Hogwarts in both the boys and girls bathrooms. The students know where to find you, so what they do next should prove to be interesting," the voice said with a chuckle. "Bye-bye my dear."
"Don't you dare wa-" Umbridge suddenly paused as a shadow fell across her face as someone entered the cubicle.
"Well, well, Professor Umbridge. Revenge IS sweet," said Harry as he sat down with a clunk. Umbridge could feel his weight as it slammed onto her head. But what followed was even worse. A solid lump splashed into her head (or should it be bowl, she wondered to herself) and suddenly she could taste exactly what Harry had done. Harry stood up and although she couldn't see him, she could feel him surveying the results with some glee.
"That's for sending the dementors after me. And what I thought of your lessons. And your stupid blood quill," he said with a smile in his tone. "Enjoy being a toilet."
And with that last statement, he flushed and Umbridge could feel herself swallowing the contents. Silly boy, she had been an excellent teacher, following the Ministry curriculum. She only wanted what was best for them, surely most people saw that?
Unfortunately it seemed that most of the students agreed with him. There was a never-ending queue (or so it seemed) of students who came to express their…opinion of her. Some of them were definitely unexpected, like Theodore Nott (who kicked the bowl after using her. Apparently he hated seeing really stupid tactics like hers.) Others, like Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were very much expected.
"When I get out of here I'll make EACH and EVERY one of you pay," she growled. Nobody heard her of course, her voice was completely inaudible. In fact it seemed to encourage them. By the end of the day, Umbridge was very relieved that the day was over. At least, with curfew in effect, she wouldn't have any visitors. Or so she thought.
"Hello Delores," the familiar voice of Professor McGonagol said and the tone made Umbridge feel distinctly worried. Suddenly a foul mixture of used cat litter and mouldy cat food splashed into her bowl.
"I do so hope you enjoy my thoughts about your teaching," McGonagol added. "Really I do."
Umbridge was given an even worse concoction by Professor Snape (who used her to dispose of possibly the foulest tasting potion she'd ever known.
"I don't know what it is, but I'm fairly sure it isn't poisonous. More or less," he said as he stood over her. "It's something one of my third-year students made by mistake and I thought it might…suit you."
The rest of the Professors staff seem to take great pleasure in taking their revenge on Umbridge (she was sure that Hagrid almost broke her), but there was one notable exception.
"I reckon you were the greatest thing to 'appen ter this school," Filch said as he cleaned her bowl with gentle affection. "Now yer gone, I'm back ter having to give out detentions, instead of being able ter whip 'em."
In spite of everything, Umbridge almost smiled. Or rather, she would have done if she could. At least someone appreciated what she had done!
As the sun rose, she was suddenly enveloped by a grey cloud and suddenly she was face to face with the mysterious figure once more.
"Did you enjoy being a toilet Delores Umbridge?" the figure asked in what should have been a sarcastic voice, but sounded rather flat.
"It was horrible! All the good I tried to do and hardly anyone app-"
"It's time for your next transformation Delores Umbridge," the figure interrupted and it waved its hand once more. And once more, Delores Umbridge changed shape.
AN: Okay, not an easy one to write. Not one of my better ones either. Hopefully the next chapter will be an improvement.