Title: Animal I have become.
Number of parts: 1/3.
Pairing: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler/Martha Jones.
Synopsis: It was a bad move and yet, she was willing to to do it, to know the man behind the monster.
A/N: The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination. The original idea is from (dxctors).(queen) on Instagram.
Rose knew it had been a bad move to be with that man. The Doctor was known for building up a woman's trust just to tear her down with the next girl. Something about him was so compelling and she couldn't stop herself. She had to get close to him. She had to know him and to love him as long as she could. That's how she ended up in his estate as a maid. His most common affair was with his maids because they could never run away from him. One evening, Rose was in the Doctor's room, tidying up his sheets when she heard him come in. She tried to stay calm. The Doctor was a very intimidating man full of darkness and secrets and all the people living in his estate had learnt it was better to fear him than to provoke him. Rose was one of them but there was something in the Doctor that was intriguing her.
"I was just cleaning up, Sir." She said to him.
The Doctor didn't answer. He just watched her as she was cleaning up. Rose was the last maid he had taken at his service. He hadn't needed her at first but there was something about her that was intriguing him. He needed to know more about her and that's why he had taken her away from her family. He got close to her, so close that their skins were brushing past each others. He still didn't say a thing but slowly traced her arm with his finger. He then slowly stroked the skin of her neck. She shut her eyes, her breath hitching in her throat. She couldn't even begin to think about anything but him being so close of her.
"Sir?" She swallowed softly.
"Shh." He said as his hand went under her shirt. "I know you've been waiting for me to do that." He kissed her neck, his other hand slowly slidding on her ribs. "You won't disappoint me, right?"
She groaned softly, instinctively pressing her body to his chest. He had a smile of contentment because of her reaction. Usually the women were too afraid of him to come into his game.
"No, sir."
She was reacting exactly like he wanted her to. He kept on kissing her neck as his hands stroked every bit of her delicate and pale skin.
"Good girl."
"This isn't right..." She managed to whisper, trembling happily.
"I'm the one telling if something is right or wrong, and this feels very right to me."
"I…" She said glancing at him weakly.
"You've got something to say, Rose Tyler?" He asked quietly.
He bit her skin, just under her ear. He didn't like when his apes were protesting. She should obey him and he'd do whatever it took to force her to do as she was told. She shook her head weakly, biting down her lip.
"No, sir. I… I have nothing to say, sir."
"That's what I thought."
And he made her his, enjoying her lack of resistance. A new victim on his long list, but that one was special. He had to find out why he was so attracted by her. He had to keep her as close as he could.
"From now on, you'll be at my very own service. Night and day. Whenever I'll need it. And beware of the others, they might get jealous." He said as he left the room.
Rose slumped on the floor, a mix of terror and admiration making her knees weak. The Doctor was whistling while going to the kitchen. He was happy and hungry. He played with some of his women and ordered them to feed him. That was a good night. Everything was just as he expected it to be. While he was eating and enjoying the presence of his women, Rose went to her room biting her lip. Soon as he finished eating, he went to his basement. He spent most of his time there, working on his medical experiments. He was essentially working on the human brain. All of his women had come there so he could work on them. And now that was Rose's turn.
"Bring me Rose." He quietly said to the two women who were with him.
The two women nodded and left the basement. They went to Rose's room and told her the Doctor wanted to see her and that he wouldn't wait. Rose reluctantly followed them down, nervously biting her lip. The Doctor welcomed her with a smile. She was so obedient.
"Good to see you again, Rose. You have now two choices: you cooperate and everything's gonna be fine, or you don't and then, it's gonna be painful. So, what do you choose?"
"I… I'll be good." She replied, swallowing thickly.
"You really are a good girl. I like that." He ordered the two women to leave. "See Rose, I really am a doctor, and I work on the human brain. This thing is fantastic! I take women to work on their brain. It's way more fascinating than a man's brain. They stay at my service because I control them with a simple RFID. And you will too."
He led her to an operation table where he asked her to lay down. Rose swallowed and laid down. She was trembling nervously. She didn't like the situation she was in. She didn't like the atmosphere of the room, the tone of the Doctor's voice, his words.
"Sir, I… I do not like it."
He placed electrodes on her forehead and on her chest. He was taking all his time, enjoying the contact of her soft skin under his fingers.
"Your mom did such an amazing job creating you." He murmured as his lips kissed the pale skin of her chest. "You are a clever girl, Rose Tyler, how come you fell into my trap?" He asked her quietly, taking a scalpel.
She looked up at him. She was clearly afraid of what he was about to do and he was too busy playing with the light on his scalpel to notice it. A nasty smile crossed his lips. She looked at him, weakly struggling to get away from the table, from him.
"To get close to you." She whispered. "No matter the monster."
"You knew what I've done and, yet, you're here." He placed a hand on her cheek and forced her to turn her head. "Don't move little girl. You promised to be good."
The Doctor created a small cut just behind her right ear, causing her to cry out in pain but he didn't care. He had a work to do on her and she had to obey. Final point.
"Sir… Please."
He carefully put the scalpel out of her reach to be sure she wouldn't have the bad idea of catching it to harm him. He watched a drop of her very red blood running on her pale skin. He was truly fascinated.
"Tell me, why should I spare you? All the women here have that little thing behind their ear. You came here on your own. You should have known."
He took a drop of her blood on his finger. He look at it a few seconds and sucked it. He was waiting for her answer to come.
"I'll do anything you'll ask." She whispered wincing as she moved her head. "Anything, sir."
He put his hand in a pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a black little devise that looked like a grain of rice. He showed it to her. He decided to tell her a little her story.
"I was only six yearls old when my dad took me here and put this little thing into my wrist. Just right here." He pointed a little white scar on his wrist. "He told me that he would forever be able to control me, that I would never be able to run away from him. This little chip sends messages to the nerves and brain. No matter what you're doing, if the controller of this little thing programs an order, you will obey. My father used me. For ten long years, he forced me to obey him. And when I tried to resist…"
He didn't end his sentence. His look was now lost in the past, lost in the pain of his father's actions. Rose swallowed and closed her eyes weakly. He was scaring her more and more but she wouldn't move. She wouldn't run away.
"I can't make you stop sir, but I will say this to you: this is no way to make up for what happened."
"He should have known that I was cleverer than him!" He yelled, suddenly really angry. "He should have known I would find a way to hack his precious chip! But it took me too much time."
She whimpered weakly, panicking a little. He wasn't paying attention to her anymore. He was too busy looking into his past.
"Sir, I'm begging you…"
"THAT SON OF A BITCH BROKE ME DOWN AND JUST LEFT!"
He didn't even know why he was telling all of that to Rose. She was the only one to ever hear his story. He hadn't cared about the other women but Rose had something special and he didn't know what. He put the chip back into his pocket, cleaned her cut with cotton wool and put a band-aid on it.
"Go home, Rose Tyler. Run for your life and never come back here."
He was speaking quietly but he was still boiling with rage inside down. Rose carefully sat up. She tried to keep her vocie steady, not to show him she was scared.
"I'm yours, sir. I have nowhere else to go."
"You're not mine anymore. I'm repudiating you. You're free. Your mother's waiting for you. Go back home. Forget everything I've told you."
"You don't understand, sir." She said, shaking her head a little. "I… I don't want to go home."
"I SAID GO HOME!" He yelled.
He violently punched a wall and had a small smile with no joy when he heard the bones crack and felt the pain going from his hand to his shoulder. Rose Tyler was the only one who wanted to stay while she knew everything he had done. He was a monster. He knew it and he accepted it, but she didn't have to be a witness of his darkness. He would break her as sure as his father had broken him, as sure as he had broken all those women. Rose shook her head weakly, tears falling down her cheeks.
"I want to be with you."
He pulled the electrodes off one by one with his left hand. The right was becoming blue and was swelling. He knew it was broken but didn't care. That was less painful than the memories of his father Rose had unintentionally woken up.
"No. No, that's not what you want. You don't want to spend your life with me. You don't want me to put that chip in your head. You don't want me to control you. You don't want all of this. You don't want to be a toy in my collection. You've said it: it's not right. And now, you're gonna leave. If you don't, I'll throw you outside by myself."
She sat up on the edge of the operation table and slowly placed her hand on his cheek. The touch surprised him. No one had ever touched him that way. He stepped back from her.
"I want you to be with you because I love your darkness, sir. I know exactly what I was getting myself into."
"I can't keep you." He whispered.
He went away, unable to stay in the same room as her. As he didn't know where to go – though his estate was enormous – he hit a wall again and again. He needed to feel the pain to stop thinking. When it finally replaced his anger, his hands were covered with his own blood and the right one was definitely broken but he still didn't care. He went to his personal library and drank an entire bottle of the strongest alcohol he had. He was so drunk after that that he felt asleep in his chair. He spent the night sleeping in his library, far away from Rose, far away from the weird effects she had on him. He didn't want to be near her anymore. And that night, because of her, he had a nightmare he hadn't had in a very long time: he dreamt about his father.
In the meantime, Rose swallowed weakly, quietly going and sitting in her room in the maids' quarter. She curled up and went to sleep, hurt that he wouldn't see she really wanted him. When she woke up the next morning and went to clean his room, she noticed he hadn't slept there at all. Actually, he never came out of the library. He spent the whole day waking up from his nightmare and immediately going back to it. He spent the day fighting his own demons No one in that house would find him to see of he was alright after all. Every single person in that estate was hating on him and that was for the best. He could disappear in his darkness and never be saved by anyone. Except Rose did come in the library to find him. She was nervous but had to see him. She found him sleeping in his chair and came closer to him.
"Sir?" She whispered.
The Doctor groaned and hardly made a move. He was still in the haze of alcohol, still fighting against a dream he didn't seem to be able to wake up from. Rose swallowed nervously and shook him gently.
"Sir?"
He groaned again and slowly opened his eyes. His vision was all blurry. All he could see was a blonde figure but he couldn't make out the face that was facing him. He had a smile.
"Mummy? You came back?"
"Sir, are you alright?" She asked, frowning deeply.
"Daddy said you were gone. He said that you left me, that you left us. You came back to save me from him?"
"Sir, I… It's me. It's Rose." She swallowed and gently cupped his cheek.
He put his hand on hers, surprised. He blinked a few times. His vision finally became clear. He saw Rose, very close to him. He suddenly moved backwards.
"Go away." He muttered.
She shook her head, refusing to obey him, and slowly brushed her fingers over his cheek. She couldn't help but touch him. She understood why he had moved backwards. He wasn't used to a soft touch.
"I don't think you really want to be alone, sir."
"I don't want you near me. That's pretty different than being alone." He got up, stumbled but managed to reach the door. "JONES!" He yelled, hoping the woman would come quickly. His hand was painful and he needed someone to get Rose away from him. His head was pounding. He drank too much. As he felt dizzy, he went back to his chair. "I told you to go home, Rose Tyler. Why are you still in my estate?"
"I don't have a home." She said quietly. "My family died two weeks ago."
"I don't care." He sighed.
"Sir, you're all I have left. I came to you because there's nothing else."
"And I don't want you. I have everything I need." He looked at the door. "JONES!" He yelled again. "Where is that damn woman-doc when I need her?"
"No, you don't." She said sadly. "You've got yourself and that will never be enough. I'm sorry I could not convince you."
She truly was sorry for him because he didn't realise how lonely he was. He didn't realise what she could bring to him. So she slowly started to walk away.
"I would never let anyone have power on me anymore, Rose. Be happy, everyone here would want to be in your place." He said as the woman he called "Jones" came in and took care of his wounded hands. "I do that for your own good. And for mine."
"I can never be happy. You were my last shot."
The Doctor stood up so suddenly that Jones stepped back absolutely terrified about what he was about to do. He went to Rose before she came out and took her chin in his hand. He looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Listen to me, there is a lot of people out there just waiting for you to come around. You can't stay with me. You'd never be happy if I lock you down here and use you like I'm using all those women. You're not like them and I don't want to be the one who'll break you. You understand? I'm a bad guy. A very bad guy. I don't deserve someone as pure as you around me."
Especially when that woman forced him to remember the things his father had done to him, to remember that his mother had left him with that monster, to remember, though he had tried with all his heart and soul not to become like him, he was just the same.
"Run away, Rose. Please."
That was the first time he ever begged someone to do something. The only person he had begged in his entire life was his father and that's when he learnt that it didn't work. Jones was looking at him strangely. Rose shook her head quietly. Of course, she would refuse.
"I won't run. I'm not afraid of the man I see in front of me. I'm scared what he'll be without at least that chance." She sighed and turned away. "I reckon this is the last time you'll ever hear of me alive, sir."
He let her go, knowing that if something ever happened to her he'd regret it. He went back to his chair and let Jones finish to fix his hands. His thoughts were all about Rose and how he would protect her at all costs. He didn't even noticed the strange look Jones was giving him. As soon as his hands were fixed, the Doctor went out. He couldn't stay in his house. He needed to take some fresh air. He just walked here and there, didn't notice people running away from him. He found himself in the train station. He didn't even know why he was there. He never took the train. Why would he when he had a car and a driver?
Rose was at the train station, staring blankly at everything. She had tried so hard and lost so much. She couldn't deal with her pain. She sat at the edge of the tracks and stared down at them. She didn't know what she was doing. She only knew that she was in a lot of pain. The Doctor looked around. The train station was full of people. He walked among them. A strange feeling clutched his chest. Someone asked a girl to step back from the tracks. He got close as if he had known. His eyes fell on her. He felt his heart fall into his chest and froze. Had she even been serious with her last words? Would she really…?
Rose quietly told the people around her to back off. Her heart was breaking as she was sat there. Finally, she noticed him and her resolve hardened. She slipped down on the tracks to wait. She could hear a train coming. She wouldn't have to wait much longer. The Doctor saw the train coming and her slipping down on the tracks. He took no time to think. He didn't have any time to. He came out of the crowd, pushing everyone out of his way, jumped on the rails and caught her. He only had the time to reach the other side of the platform when the train passed right where they were standing a few seconds earlier. He was now laying above her. The move had been so quick, so violent that he hadn't been able to stay on his feet. He had just caught her and then threw themselves on the platform, protecting her head from the fall but hurting himself in the process.
"Why would you do that to me?"
Rose was looking at him with wide eyes as tears were pouring down her cheeks. The Doctor let out a gasp as the pain of the shock rushed through his whole body but looked at her in the eyes.
"I… I couldn't let you do that. I don't even know why I'm here. I just…"
He was losing his composure and didn't like that. Why was he acting so strange around her? People were coming to see if they were fine but he didn't move though she was trying to move him off.
"You don't want me, so let me go. Let me make the choice that's been so long in the making."
"I can't let you do that, Rose. I…"
He couldn't end his sentence because people were yelling at him. Hands forced him to get up and to stepped away from Rose. He stumbled back and looked at people helping her to get up and asking her if she was alright. The others were looking at him with hate. Two of them were even pointing guns at him. They all knew who he was. Rose pushed away from the crowd, desperate to get right back on that track.
"I loved you." She managed to whisper, struggling to move forward.
The words hit him as if someone had shot him. That wouldn't be true. No one could love the man he was. He didn't even know what love was. His mother was the only one who had ever loved him but she left. If she had really loved him, she wouldn't have left him with his father, right? She would have taken him with her to protect him. He looked at Rose as she was struggling to get back on the track. She'd rather die than being away from him. People were saying she was crazy but were still holding her, protecting her from him, from the danger he represented. He took a step forward her without leaving her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes.
"Sir, one more step and I shoot you."
Rose was still struggling against the crowd but they were holding her to tight. The Doctor could see how desperate she was to get where she wanted to be and he didn't like it.
"Let me go!"
"Whatever she'll do, don't let her go, okay? Just don't." He said to the people holding her.
He had a bad feeling about what was going to happen and he was right because she suddenly broke free and made a run for it. Forgetting the man's threat, the Doctor ran to catch her before she got hurt or worse. He had almost grabbed her hand when the first shot resounded. The pain exploded in his thigh as he fell to his knees. A second shot hit him in the chest. He fell onto the cold ground as blood was flowing out of his body. He had a small laugh.
"Don't let the monster come near the delicate girl." He whispered for himself. "Had what I deserved. Don't let my beautiful pink and yellow girl fade." He added, not talking to anyone in particular.
The shots resounded to her ears and she turned around to see what was going on. She screamed in panic when she saw him falling and the blood flowing out of his body. She raced to him and craddled him weakly.
"N-No. Please."
Rose was begging him. She didn't want him to die, not that way, not because of her. The Doctor raised a hand covered with his own blood and cupped her cheek.
"Looks like you won in the end." He managed to say.
He was very aware of the blood flowing out of his body. He felt the darkness of the death coming really close to him, enfolding him as life was quickly leaving his body.
"It's better that way. You get to live and the monster I am dies." He whispered so low it was hard to know if anyone had heard him.
"If you die, I die too." She whimpered softly, shutting her eyes. "That's how it works."
"I don't want you to die. You don't have to."
The Doctor was using his last strengths to talk to her. His hand fell down on his chest. He heard sirens. Or was it just his imagination? He couldn't think of someone calling for an ambulance to save him.
"I'm not worth saving. You are. If I had been a good man, I would have been worth your love."
"The minute your heart stops beating, I jump off that ledge. I… I can't lose you." She said, shaking her head.
The Doctor weakly took Rose's hand and slightly pressed it on his heart. It was still beating but he could feel it slowing down. He was dying. He knew it. He was cold. His eyes were slowly shutting down. He had a small smile.
"Rose Tyler…"
He couldn't end his sentence. The emergency services were there. He felt them taking Rose away from him and taking care of his wounds. He felt their hands on his body. They were trying to keep him alive. Someone shouted that they should let him die and everything went black. Rose slumped there, weakly sitting on the edge again.
"He's still alive. He'll survive if we take him to the hospital. Let's go now! No time to waste!" Said a first-aider while everyone was screaming for them to let the Doctor die.
"Please. Save him. Please." Rose sobbed weakly, her heart breaking.
They asked her to come with them as they rushed to the hospital. They took him to the surgical unit and tried to keep him alive for hours, giving him blood as they removed the bullets and stitched up his wounds. Then, they put him in a room in the intensive care service. Rose was waiting in the waiting room. She was covered with his blood. She was trembling. She didn't want to stay there. She wanted everything to end.
"Are you the woman who came with that man at the train station?" The surgeon asked her.
"I didn't come with him. He ruined everything." She sniffled. "He doesn't care for me."
"Everyone here knows who he is and what he's doing but everyone is afraid of him. Did he hurt you in any way?" Asked the surgeon noticing the band-aid behind her ear. "You could file a complaint against him. We'd call the police to arrest him."
"He's a good man deep down." She replied, shaking her head.
"I can't judge. The only thing I can tell you is he survived to his wounds. He's still unconscious but we're optimistic. If he wakes up in the next few hours, he'll be fine."
Rose almost sighed in relief when she was told the news. She nodded weakly instead and smiled a bit. He was alive. That's all she wanted.
"Can I go see him?"
"Sure. Follow me." He said.
The surgeon led her to a room in the intensive care service. He tried to warn her about what she was going to see but she wasn't listening. She just followed him, shaking.
"I just need to see him."
The surgeon was curious to know how such a young and beautiful woman got involved with such a man but he didn't ask. It wasn't his business.
"Call if you need help."
Those were the only words he said before leaving her in front of the Doctor's room door. Rose came in as soon as the surgeon left and went directly to the Doctor's side.
"Please, live." She whispered.
The Doctor was just a little boy, four or five years old, running into the darkness of his house. Outside, a storm was raging. Thunder and rain were attacking the town. He was afraid.
"Mummy?" He called out, looking for his mother to come and comfort him. "Mummy?"
He found her in the kitchen. She grounded gently because he wasn't sleeping yet and then hugged him, whispering in his ear not to be afraid, that the storm would go, that she would always protect him. The memory made the old him smile in his coma. Meanwhile, Rose was gripping his hand and tears were running down her face. She didn't understand while he was smiling and just assumed he was having a good dream.
They were hugging and the boy he was couldn't feel more loved and protected. He clung onto his mother when he heard his father. Soon he got separated from her. His father was furious for some reason. He yelled at him and raised his hand but his mother didn't let him hit her son. The little boy stayed there, watching his father beat his mother to death. When he tried to do something, his father caught his throat and pressed it. The Doctor's heart started to race and his breathe became laborious. The memory was interfering with his present life. Rose whimpered, gently kissing his knuckles.
"Please…"
Everything went so fast after that scene that he wasn't able to say what had really happened that night. He remembered his mother knocking his father out, taking his hand and both of them running under the rain. The thunder. A thunderbolt. A scream. His father bringing him back home. Locking him in the basement. Him hitting the door to go out.
"Please, daddy, please!"
Another voice was joining his. A woman voice. When he figured out it who it was, everything faded away and the Doctor found himself in a room totally white.
"Rose?"
He knew that was her voice but he couldn't see her. Where was she? Why was he hearing her voice? He needed to see her, to see if he had really saved her, but he didn't manage to wake up and Rose, sat next to him, shut her eyes, letting the tears fall on her cheeks.
"Please, come back to me, my love."
He heard her voice again. He heard the sadness in it. He could almost see the tears falling down on her cheeks and crashing down on his skin.
"I'm not your…" He started.
Then, he remembered. The shots. Someone tried to kill him as he was trying to save her. Why would he do such a thing if he didn't actually like her? He tried his best to get back to her. He followed her voice. The white room faded away and he slowly opened his eyes. Rose was sobbing softly, her head resting on his chest.
"I can't do this without you. I'm yours."
He groaned. The pain was overwhelming his body and the light was burning his eyes. He weakly raised his hand and brushed Rose's cheek to wipe away her tears.
"I'm glad I saved you." He mumbled in a hoarse voice.
"S-sir?" She stuttered, looking up at him.
The Doctor had a small smile and closed his eyes to protect them from the burning light. His thumb was slowly stroking her cheek.
"Thank you." He whispered.
He wanted to say more but he couldn't. His throat was dry and painful but that was nothing compared to the burning pain in his chest ans in his thigh. Rose smiled sadly, leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. The initiative surprised him so much that he didn't react. The kiss was soft and pleasurable. No one ever kissed him that way.
"I love you, sir." She whispered, lightly stroking his cheek. "I will always be yours."
Once again, the words hit him. He wasn't a loveable man. He was a monster. And yet, she came there with him. She waited for him to wake up. She stayed with him no matter what he had done. She said she would die if he didn't survive. How was it possible that such a wonderful woman loved a man like him? "How…?" was the only thing he could ask.
"I see the man behind the beast." She said quietly. "And I love the beast even without the man."
He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was honest. No sign of lies in her eyes. She truly loved him and he couldn't understand how that could be possible.
"But… I never…"
And then, he remembered he had told her a part of his story. He had never forced her to have the little chip behind her ear. He had never wanted to use her. When he had met her, he had known she was special. He had let her into his life. He had allowed her to have some power on him. Maybe she was the one that would save him from his own darkness. All he wanted when he had been shot was to protect her. Was that some kind of love? She made him feel vulnerable and it hadn't happened in a very long time. He took her hand in his. He really didn't know what to do. A strange feeling appeared in his stomach and a single tear fell down on his cheek.
"And… And don't think you have to change. Be the man you've always been and I'll be happy."
That was the last straw. He couldn't bear more kindness from that amazing woman who reminded him so much of his lost mother. He held her hand tighter and broke down, tears falling down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Shh." She replied, rubbing his hand gently.
He didn't say anything more. He just cried out all the tears he had held back for too long now. Rose kissed his head gently. He let her do. In his situation, he wasn't able to do much so he left it up to her. He gave her the chance she wanted. He allowed her to take care of him.
"You were right." He said quietly. "Myself isn't enough. I need someone else." He hesitated. "And you might be the one I need. You might be the one who can and want to take care of a monster."
"I'm going to take care of you." She promised, smiling sadly.
"Be there when I'll wake up." He asked with a small smile.
It sounded too much like an order to him and he didn't like it. He couldn't talk to her thay way. He didn't want to treat her like he treated the other women.
"Please." He added as he slowly fell asleep.
Rose smiled at the effort he was making to be nice to her and gently squeezed his hand to reassure him. She whispered quietly to him.
"As you wish, sir."
The Doctor slept for hours, forgetting his nightmares about his father. He only dreamt about the life he wanted to have with Rose. A beautiful life. All he had ever wished for when his father controlled him. But inside down, he felt like he didn't deserve that life, that he had been too awful to people to be happy now. He was a broken man. He now knew it and needed someone to fix him. In his sleep, he kept Rose's hand in his. If she gave up on him, he would probably ask someone to shoot him a third time.
– To be continued –