License #1

"From Dryvelearnya with love"

Boring. Repetitive. Below one's level. Waste of time.

Walking 'home' the green skinned boy was already thinking of a new plan to enslave mankind...something involving earthean insects and...

... green skinned?!

Well, this kid wasn't a human at all. No.
This child was an alien; while most people on earth were ignorant fools only one bright member of their species was able to see through the disguise of the space invader.
Zim. Two arch-enemies who...

"Dib-stink, I already know you're following me so stop this 'hiding-behind-bushes', it's embarrassing!", the mighty defective exile called out. He was already near his base. From behind a small bush in a neighbouring garden a large headed...

"My head isn't big!"

Uh...okay, maybe his head wasn't that big...anyways, the child named Dib left his hideout and walked challenging towards his nemesis who had crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Zim, I know you're up to something and-", a squirrel jumped out of Dib's dishevelled black scythe like hair and ran to the next tree. "What the..?! That was odd... Okay, this time I'm going to ruin your entire existence once and for all! You'll see Zim, when you're lying opening your eyes and you'll be strapped to an operation table and scientists will cut you open-!", Dib rambled on and on wiggling his hands in the air to emphasize the upcoming horror. Zim yawned,
"You don't have any other ideas, do you? This is getting boring...and tiresome."
"Irksome, you IRKEN!", Dib shrieked pointing dramatically at Zim. Passersby flinched afraid that his 'insanity' was contagious to everyone near him.
"Are you done now?"; Zim asked annoyed turning his back to the boy to walk the last steps to his home, "Go and wash yourself Dib-worm!"

Next to the sidewalk, in front of the house firing laser beams at every intruder was a mailbox...which should make the house look more 'normal'. And it was 'normal' for humans that the tiny red flag was standing up there...a mail?!
What foolish hyuuuman would send the amazing Zim any pitiful hyuuuman mail, huh? Except for fan mail of course.
Ignoring the one behind him Zim went to the mailbox to take the content out of it. The lonely white envelope was grabbed instantly and opened harshly by a sharp claw. Glancing over Zim's shoulder Dib waited for Zim to take out the paper and grasped it as fast as he could for himself.

Damnit!

Dib stared at the sheet; the letters on it were Irken ones, and although he was able to decipher some of them the content kept being a mystery to him. Zim shot a hateful glare at him and got hold of his property again.
"That's nothing of your business Dib-thing!", he snarled at the human having a look at the letter for the first time himself.

"Dear Zim (PAK-ID 037912; rank ?),

Within the scope of our annual check of all existing files we came to the conclusion that your spaceship license is expired for nealy two months now.

To avoid any unpleasant consequences we would appreciate your participation in both theoretical and practical lessons which will be held on and around Dryvelearnya.

As always, please contact the Office for temporary Permissions to receive an allowance to fly there.

For now, thank you very much for reading our note; we look forward to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Goba

Office for official Mails, No. 43 East Fly

P.S.: Any attempt to avoid our friendly service will lead to a permanent ban for any travels in a spacecraft no matter whether you are piloting it or not, and the destruction of any spacecraft in your possession.

~ Have a nice day ~"

...wonderful! How could Zim forget to get an extension of his license, especially since Zim never forgets anything?!
"- Zim?"
All those battles were probably the cause of all this mess; thousands of plans he had to come up every earthean night. Why did the Dib-meat need to struggle that much against the inevitably doom? ...or it was all a foul trick to -
"Zim!"
"What??", Zim turned to Dib holding the now ball-shaped paper in his hand, "Can't you just shut up your noise tube and leave me alone?! ZIM is busy now!", he hissed storming towards entrance which he opened quickly and closed with a loud *Bang* sound to let the neighbours know that their demise was at 'home' now.

Dib just stood there staring silently for some minutes until he trudged home as well - he had to invite himself to Zim's base later.

...

Putting off his fake hair and contacts Zim headed straight for the trashcan in the kitchen ignoring the giggling sounds in the living room. The trashcan was the most advanced one on the whole planet. Because it wasn't a trashcan but an elevator. Said elevator took Zim to the lower levels of his base, in the deepest grounds to the main lab and communication room. Geesh, if two antennae and ruby pupil-less eyes weren't enough proof that this was an alien then this'd be the final evidence.
"Computer! Tell Zim, have there been any letters from...", he unscrambled the paper the best he could, "...the 'Office for official Mails' considering my spaceship license?" The computer hummed as it was looking through his files then eventually said,
"No...I can't remember anything."

Angry about this information...non-information Zim stomped his foot on the ground.
"But- there'd been this accident when your advanced SIR unit tried to clean me with soap for 'Computer's Day', perhaps the deleted something by chance."
"Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!!!!", Zim roared in the cubicle, "Take me to him!"
"We're almost at the lab- do you still want to?", the computer asked at first but let the elevator sped up to the first floor then. Gir was still in the living room watching his favourite TV show in glee. Zim rushed out of the cubicle and into the living room planting himself in front of his robotic servant.

"Yeeeaaaahhh..?", Gir squeaked fidgeting about trying to get a look at the telly again.
"Gir, did you throw away any mails from the...", Zim stopped to think about this stupid name when the computer interrupted him,
"The 'Office for official Mails'? Maybe you deleted something in my files. It's important for masters spacecraft license."

Gir took his time to think long and hard about all this, the screaming monkey behind Zim didn't make the decision easier for him.
"Gir?!", Zim fidgeted with his fingers in despair; perhaps the robot hadn't realized the importance of this!
"Uhhh...dunno.", Gir shrugged getting jelly beans out of his head, "Wanna have some mastah?" Zim sighed; now everything was going to be doomed!
"Computer, contact that office...I need to prepare some things in order to my departure."
"As you wish, sir", it replied. This way Zim would never find out its real opinion on him. As Gir got sight of the screen again his insane giggle accompanied Zim who was heading for the lab once more.

...

Somewhere else a boy was rummaging through the drawers of his cupboard and his wardrobe looking for everything that might be useful to defeat his enemy.
"Gaz? Where did you lay down my water gun?"
"The people of the refuse disposal have taken it with them this morning.", the purple haired girl snorted back from her room. Since there'd been a great mess in the living room they weren't allowed to go there in the afternoon unless they would clean it up.
"Oww- Gaz! How shall I defeat Zim and save mankind when you keep hiding my stuff- throwing it away? HOW?", Dib groaned.
"You shan't. Just get lost or die somewhere far away from me.", she replied completely absorbed in her videogame.

*beep*

"Did you hear this?", Dib asked his eyes behind the glasses shining brightly. He jumped in front of his computer staring at the screen.
"Oh brother...spare me from whatever is going to happen now if you want to stay alive.", she commented annoyed.
"Zim did something stupid! You probably want to know what happened-"

"NO."

"Alright- so, you know I'd installed a lot of cameras in Zim's base... unfortunately he found most of them, but lucky me he overlooked that one I'm speaking of right now-"

Gaz left eye opened in annoyance.

"So...he's loading up his spaceship, huh? At least I don't have to hack into his system now.", Dib chuckled darkly grabbing the last few things that'd survived Gaz' wrath and ran down to the garage where his own spaceship - taken from an Irken named Tak - awaited him. He threw the stuff inside and opened the door to pull the ship in the backyard. Gaz was watching him silently as he pulled the ship slowly out; Dib didn't notice her until he was done.
"You can tell me when you want to come with me Gaz, I don't mind anything-", Dib laughed awkwardly as she approached him with a monstrous speed.
"I'm here to keep my promise.", Gaz said punching her brother in the stomach. As Dib cringed she got hold of his hair and threw him against the spaceship.
"What the...Gaz?!", Dib panted barely able to avoid her next attack. It was a wonder to him that he managed somehow to get into the ship where he was safe for now...but he had to fly off nevertheless as fast as he could. Gaz was scary. She had been scary her whole life. Her powers were a mystery to Dib. She wouldn't show any mercy now.
"Go up-", he said as he was starting the ship and it flew off. "I don't understand you...Gaz- Why don't you help me and our people?", Dib whispered beginning to recover from her assaults.

...

"Doughnuts?"
- "Okay."
"Nachos?"
- "Okay."
"Soda?"
- "Okay. ...do you really want to waste any more important time than necessary with rather unimportant things?", the computer asked. How could it?
"Snacks are never ever unimportant! You just envy Zim...that you can't eat at all!", Zim pointed accusingly at the ceiling...or wherever he thought the computer might be located.

"Since everything's alright now and I won't run out of food I can leave now! Gir, take care of the the base while I'll be absent - Zim doesn't want any inquisitive big headed hyuuuman in here!", he ordered his servant who was playing with a rubber piggy behind him. It'd been a wonder that Zim had been able to get that robot away from that horrible television thingy - in the end he had to blow that thing up so Gir would pay attention to the orders even after he was gone for awhile. What Zim didn't know yet was that the computer had already ordered a new TV to distract the SIR unit from any stupid ideas...even if it didn't work 24h a day when he had a telly.

"I didn't receive an answer yet.", the computer said bored.
"What kind of 'answer'?", Zim asked stubbornly.
"Will you bring sou...wenir with you for piggy and me?", Gir asked shoving the rubber piggy towards Zim. He shoved it away and entered the spaceship,
"Maybe- Waiting doesn't do anything good, it has never done! Shall Zim wait till this license has expired 3 months? NO, he shall not! Open the roof!", Zim ordered before he closed the windshield. The computer obeyed to have Zim far away for some time. When Zim was out of sight it had the chance to speak freely.

"Everything sucks."

"What now?", Gir asked hugging his piggy friend since Zim had rejected it. The computer closed the roof again without replying to the robot.

*ring*

"Pizza!", Gir ran down to the door Zim already forgotten for this moment. The computer sighed happily. Those online shops were really very fast-

...

"Fine, fine...so this planet is located in 539°81'-", Zim thought studying his map. Finally he was out of the dirtballs atmosphere - now everything was going to be alright!

After awhile of flying around aimlessly Dib had found Zim and was following him in some distance, hoping the Irken wouldn't notice him.
"Whatever it is Zim, whatever it is..."

Annotation:

Yaaaaaaay ^___________^

Finally I finished it (and typed it into the computer), duh! Thanks to the people who have been waiting patiently for me to write this. Thanks to the people who are borrowing me their OCs! Let's find out...guess we'll meet the first of them next time =3 Feel free to review me (I'm afraid that I suck at writing this kind of comedy T__T) Any further explanation or rambling to this fic (and my other stories) will be in my journal on LJ. Go there if you want to know more. Just click the link "My homepage" on my profile and you're there...it's all about "Erläuterungen zu..." Good. *cookies* for the reviewers :D