Super Happy Phun Thyme
"Butters, you are not to let go of Eric's hand until you get back on that bus, do you understand!" Mr. Garrison shouted
The little blonde boy grabbed Cartman's hand with a determined look in his eyes, "I understand."
Garrison nodded and sent the class out into the Pioneer Village, "Now you kids keep track of your partners, and make sure you learn stuff."
Butters smiled at Cartman as they trudged around the muddy ground, hand in hand. The little blonde's face was blushing deep pink and he wondered if Cartman even noticed. In fact, if the smaller boy squinted, he could see red pinching Eric's cheeks too.
"Well heya, Eric, where'dya wanna go to?" Butters stuttered and looked at his feet
Cartman grumbled something, then looked Butters in the eye and said, "Does it really matter? This whole place is a crap hole."
The town's gunsmith, just a man in costume teaching students about how Indians were shot, pointed to holes in the high log fence lining the camp. "We made those holes so we could shoot the darned nabbed Indians that kept attacking us."
"Oh sweet," Cartman laughed, "I wanna shoot some Indians!"
The bigger boy dragged Butters to the fence and peeked through one of the holes.
"Do you see anything? There any Indians?" Butters chuckled
"Nah. Just the city and- Oh my Jesus Christ monkey balls!" Cartman exclaimed suddenly
"What is it! Are there Indians!"
"No, Butters, it's a Happy Phun Thyme!" Cartman jumped up and down in glee, "We're only two blocks away! That place has video games and rides and everything! Come on, dude, let's go!"
"No! Cartman!" Butters pulled against the bigger boy, "I don't wanna get in trouble!"
"Dude, screw this place! You pussy," Cartman said with a glint in his eyes
"Let's go catch up with the rest of the group," Butters said, about to turn away when Cartman grabbed the smaller boy's chin with his free hand and pulled their lips dangerously close together
"Butters, we won't get in trouble. We'll be back before they even know we're gone."
The young blonde was in a daze. Cartman's breath was hot against his cheeks. His lips were as soft as his words when they brushed lightly against the lips of the younger. His hands were loose and gentle, cupping Butters' chin and caressing it with his thumb. "Now will you come with me or not?"
"S-sure Eric," the dazed Butters stammered, "Just m-make sure we don't get in t-trouble… And I ain't letting go of your hand."
Cartman smiled, "I wasn't going to make you."
The two boys dodged out of the encampment quickly and got to the Happy Phun Thyme unnoticed.
At the counter to buy tickets, the old woman smiled. "Awww, look at you two holding hands. Are you special little buddies?"
"Well, you could say that." Cartman remarked at the same time Butters said, "Well, gosh, I guess so."
The woman smiled and took their money, giving them each a ticket in return.
The two boys dashed down the hall. Well, Cartman did, dragging a very dazed and confused Butters with him.
The pair walked in the doors and sounds from everywhere rushed to them. Sounds of kids screaming with joy, popcorn popping, bumper cars bumping, and video games blasting were all around them.
"Dude, this place shreds!" Cartman gushed as he looked around in absolute excitement, "What should we do first?"
"Well Cartman I think we should be going back to Pioneer Village," Butters stammered, very determined.
Cartman rolled his eyes, "Butters, we're going to be back before anyone even notices we're gone."
"But Eric-"
"Come on! Let's go hit the bumper cars!" The older boy shouted, dragging his smaller friend in the direction of his desired ride
…0o0o…
"Alright Eric," Butters groaned, "We've been on the bumper cars 5 times, the rocket ship 3 times, we played every video game in the arcade at least once. Can we go now?"
"No way! There's still so much more to do! Like look over there!" the brunette points in front of him, "There's lazer tag! We haven't done that yet!"
"Eric," Butters pouted and pulled his friend to a stop, "There's no way we can be here much longer. Let's get an ice cream and play lazer tag, then let's go back to Pioneer Village. Okay?"
Cartman glared at the younger boy, "Why the hell are you so eager to get back to that place? That place is fucking boring!"
"Because I don't want to get in trouble!" Butters shouted
"Dude I already told you, we aren't going to-"
"But you don't know that Cartman!" Butters said in a very upset voice
"You know what," Cartman said, then he saw something behind Butters that caught his attention, "Hey! Do you see that motorcycle? We haven't gone on that yet! Let's go!"
Butters sighed as he was dragged to the motorcycle ride and Cartman tried to climb on it.
"How are we both going to get on this thing?"
"Well, you're going to have to let go of my hand," Cartman said, hopeful. All other attempts at getting Butters to let go of his hand had failed.
"No way, Eric," Butters glared, "I broke one rule by coming here, no way am I breaking another one!"
"Fine," the bigger boy huffed and hoisted himself onto the motorcycle before pulling Butters up behind him
"You ready?" Cartman asked
"No, not yet, I'm not sitting right," Butters grunted as he tried to adjust himself on the seat.
Cartman ignored the shoving and put a quarter in the slot on the ride, starting it.
"Eric!" Butters shouted in surprise, "Whoa whoa!"
The little blonde boy flipped in front of the brunette and his legs wrapped instinctively around the bigger boy's middle as he tried to stay on the ride.
"Butters, what the fuck?" Cartman blushed furiously as the ride tossed the two at each other in a rocking motion.
"I'm sorry; I'm just trying not to fall off!" Butters screamed and the ride ended abruptly
"Oh what the hell!" Cartman ranted at the machine, "That was way too fucking short. Goddamnit."
Butters sighed relief
"Come on, dude," Cartman growled and jumped off the ride, "Let's go get ice cream."
"Eric! Stop dragging me!" Butters whined as he was pulled to the food court
"Well maybe you should walk faster," Eric remarked
"Hey kids," the young woman at the counter smiled and winked at the two, "What can I get for you?"
"One ice cream sundae," Cartman smiled, "Two straws please."
"Why don't you two have a seat and I'll bring it right over," the lady said, accepting money from the brunette
"Come on Butters," Cartman pulled his friend over to the nearest table and sat down across from him, their hands still connected above the table
"Cartman…" Butters glared at the table in front of him and blushed, "Why, uhh… Never mind."
"Butters, you're acting really weird." Cartman spat
"Well you're the one who was all holdin' and breathin' on me and you almost kissed me so-"
The lady came over with their ice cream right then and set it on the table, "Here you boys go. And here are your two straws. You boys have a good day."
"You too," Eric glared at her as she walked away
"So don't say I'm acting weird," Butters said, opening his straw and sticking it in his ice cream. He angrily took sips from it as he watched Cartman across the table slowly unwrap his straw and stab it into his side of the ice cream.
"I don't know what you're talking about." The brunette glared and sucked up his ice cream.
"Before when you told me we were coming here," Butters said in utter disbelief, "You pulled me up to you and you put your lips right up to mine-"
A man and a woman holding hands walked by the two boys and stared at them. They must have been a strange sight. Two fourth grade boys holding hands and sharing ice cream.
"What are you lookin' at!" Butters snapped at them and they walked away quickly, taking glances behind at the boys
"Mother fuckers," Cartman mumbled
"Eric, you know exactly what I'm talking about!" Butters snapped
The older boy stared at the empty ice cream bowl in front of him. "Yeah, whatever," he grumbled, "Let's go do lazer tag."
"No, Eric, we need to head back now! If we don't leave right now we are gunna miss the bus and they'll know we left!"
"Fine, Butters, I guess you're right. Come on." Cartman sighed
The two boys walked hand in hand out of the Happy Phun Thyme and out onto the sidewalk leading them back to the Pioneer Village.
"Oh man!" Cartman exclaimed, "I can't wait to see the look on Kyle's face when I tell him we ditched Pioneer Village and went to Happy Phun Thyme!"
"We're not telling anybody!" Butter's growled, "I don't wanna get in trouble!"
"Butters, you gotta chill. Life goes by pretty fast and if you don't slow down once in awhile and do whatever you want all the time, you're going to miss it." Cartman said softly but surely
Butters stared at the ground, "Yeah I guess that's true."
Cartman came to an abrupt halt, yanking Butters back. "Uh-oh."
"Huh?" Butters looked up
"Crap, they called the cops on us," Cartman said, contemplating a means of escape
"What!" Butters shouted in new-found panic
"They must have realized we left. Damn."
"Holy crap, the cops are looking for us!" Butters continued shouting
"Shhhhhh! Butters!" Cartman whisper shouted and shoved the boy behind a big blue mailbox
"We're gunna get it now!" The blonde said in hysteria
Cartman put a gentle hand over his mouth in an attempt to quiet him, "Calm down, calm down! I know a way out of this!"
"You just got me busted forever!" the little boy cried
"Butters, Butters, listen to me," Cartman ordered
"No"
"All we have to do is sneak back inside without the cops seeing us. We can say we were inside all along."
"You said they wouldn't notice we were gone!" Butters sobbed and wiped tears from his eyes, "You promised!"
Cartman stared at his small friend thinking, Crap. I didn't want to make him cry. We were supposed to have fun.
Butters cried and threw a weak punch at his friend's stomach. His eyes were closed so he was satisfied that he hit him at all.
The bigger brunette boy stared in disbelief at his young blonde friend. "Butters," he said, "Butters, come here."
The blonde continued crying, his eyes closed and his free hand constantly swiping the tears, but he walked into Cartman's open arms.
They were still holding hands, which Cartman found utterly adorable. How even though he had gotten Butters 'busted forever', the boy hadn't let go of his hand.
"It's going to be okay, we'll get out of this scotch free," Cartman whispered and pulled the blonde's chin up for the second time that day.
"Eric, wha-"
"Shut up," Cartman growled as he pulled their lips together
Pure electricity shot through Butters at the contact. Something deep in his mind told him he shouldn't be letting Cartman do this, but it was fuzzy and the rest of his body and heart told him this was perfectly okay and it as absolutely what he has been searching for his whole life.
The blush on Butters' face was so bright red and so hot that Eric could feel it radiating onto his own. His mind told him exactly what he had aid to Butters earlier, Do whatever you want, all the time. And that's exactly what he had just done.
When their lips broke, Butters was left gasping for air.
"Eric, why," He asked breathlessly
"You should know Butters," the brunette grinned, "I do whatever I want, when I want to do it. And you looked adorably irresistible in that moment."
Butters smiled and looked at the ground, knocking his knuckles together and kicking the sidewalk, "Well, gosh," he mumbled
"Now we still need to get into the Village," Cartman said, changing the subject before he said anymore romantic mushy crap. "Come on."
The boys walked around to the rear of the Village and found cops.
"Well, Jesus! They're looking for us everywhere!" Butters exclaimed
"Don't worry," Cartman said in a low voice, "They won't find us until we're safely back in the Village."
Cartman turned around and pointed just down the road, "Look. Do you see that traffic signal down there? If we can climb across that, we can jump across onto the tree branch and then we're home free."
"That looks really dangerous," Butters said in a worried tone
"Not getting busted always is, Butters. Come on."
Without much thought, Butters followed Cartman over to the traffic signal. The two boys climbed it with incredible difficulty, but they made it to the top and began balancing across the top.
"Oh shit!" Cartman shouted as he began losing his balance
"I'm gunna fall!" Butters screamed
The boys fell on opposite sides of the post, their connected hands saving them from a nasty fall. But hanging that way, it was impossible for one or the other to climb back up without letting go of the other and having him fall to his death.
"Oh, dude, lame," Cartman stated the obvious as they hung there.
"What do we do now?" Butters whimpered
"Look! Look, Butters, there's a truck! This is our chance!" Cartman shouted, "Swing over Butters, let's go!"
The blonde swung himself and the boys landed on the truck as it went by.
"Alright, quick, we gotta jump!"
"Let's do it!" Butters shouted over the rushing wind
"You ready?"
Blondie nodded
"Alright let's go!"
The boys backed up as much as possible and then ran and jumped over the heads of police and the high log fence, landing on the rooftop of one of the village buildings, rolling off into a cart, then rolling off the cart and onto the ground with a grunt.
"Jesus Christ!" Cartman laughed, "I can't believe that fucking worked!"
"Oh hamburgers," Butters mumbled and brushed himself off with his free hand, his other hand still had a death grip on Cartman's
But Cartman was holding Butter's other hand in an instant, kissing it, then kissing the blonde's cheeks and his forehead and ending on his lips.
"Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah…" Butters whispered
"Alright, good, let's go."
Cartman peeked around a building and saw a man wearing an ear piece and holding a big gun.
"Shit, there are still cops in here looking for us… Alright, follow my lead Butters."
The boys walked out from behind the building and towards the 'cop'.
"Oh man!" Cartman laughed, "Hasn't this place been fascinating Butters?"
The man whipped around and cocked his gun, pointing it right at the two boys
"Yeah," Butters replied to Cartman, "It sure has."
The boys stopped and conversed with each other in front of the man with the gun, not noticing it was pointed at them.
"I just can't decide what I've liked better, the historical buildings and artifacts or the… Or the uhhh…"
"Or the witty towns people antics," Butters finished for him
"Yeah that's… That's been awesome."
"It was a hoot!"
"Get your hands behind your head," the man wearing all black ordered them, pointing his gun in their faces
"What did we do?" Cartman asked innocently, "We've been here the whole time!"
"Shut up!" The man said, waving his gun, "Put your hands behind your head, do it now!"
The boys glanced at each other, then slowly raised their free hands behind their heads. The hands they had together stayed together.
"Let go of each other!" The man yelled
"Uh-uh," Butters growled
"Do what I tell you!" the man shouted
"Our teacher said we have to hold hands the whole time we're here and we can't let go until we get back on the bus!" Butters shouted
"Let go or I'll put a bullet through both your heads!"
"Butters!" Cartman warned, trying to shake off the younger boy's hand, but that grip was not going to be shaken off easily
"No!" Butters screamed and ran, dragging Cartman away from the man
Immediately the man opened fire on the boys as they ran away
"Jesus Christ!" Cartman shouted
A rocket exploded into the house next to the boys and blew them away
"Eric!" Butters screamed, but didn't let go of his friend's hand as they went flying, "We need to get out of here!"
Cartman struggled to his feet, "Ow, monkey balls!"
"Come on! Let's go!"
Cops were pouring over the fence as Butters led a stumbling Eric to the bus. The two were cut and bleeding, leaning heavily on each other as they limped their way to the bus. All their classmates and Mr. Garrison stared at them, even a couple uniformed police officers did as the boys dragged themselves up the steps on the bus.
"Mr. Garrison, my partner and I have made it on the bus." Butters groaned and he dropped Cartman's hand and followed his friend to the back of the bus, where the two sat next to each other.
"Hey Butters," Cartman breathed
"Yeah?"
"Today was-," the older boy coughed, and then continued weakly, "Today was fun."
A small smile formed on Butters' lips before he leaned down and shared one last kiss with the heavy brunette boy leaning on his shoulder