I was destined to be a great warrior. I was sure of it. Or, at least, my mother, Doestep, thought so.
Every night, she pulled me close, her warmth comforting and soothing. "One day, my dearest Maplekit, you'll be an even better warrior than your father."
That night, I slept well, dreaming of fighting off trespassers and hunting plenty of prey for my Clan. It felt amazing in itself to hear compliments from a cat you love. What made it even sweeter was that fact that she compared me to my father.
He was a hero. Crackleleaf died before I was born, fighting a fox that ventured into camp. He fought bravely, and when he was done, he singlehandedly killed it. For most of my kithood, Doestep kept telling me stories about just how amazing he was. To be like him was my dream, and my whole heart was dead-set on becoming the best warrior I could be.
Days passed by like leaves falling in leaf-fall, and yet, I became impatient. Impatient to become an apprentice. To become a warrior. So I decided; I'm five moons old now. I won't be able to become an apprentice just yet. But if I do something really good for the Clan, I'd be an apprentice sooner!
So I snuck out of camp as quietly as I possibly could. I glanced around, making sure no one was watching as I passed through the dirtplace tunnel, and out into ThunderClan territory. It was huge. Even larger than the hollow that kept me safe for my whole life. The sky was sunny, and the wind buffeted my fur.
Trees…they're everywhere! I walked through the forest happily, bouncing with each step. It was so hard to believe that I was finally out here. I felt like a warrior already, with all the wind rushing into my lungs and ruffling my fur. I'm going to defend this forest with my life, for it belongs to ThunderClan!
After walking a while longer, I found myself on top of the hollow. Looking down at the camp from above… it truly was a spectacle to see all the Clan from way up here. Everything. Patrols being organized, cats eating and sharing tongues and my nurserymates playing a game of mossball. I'll be a warrior before all of you, I thought smugly, you'll see.
A weird scent hit me like a swipe to the muzzle. Looking around, I noticed two WindClan cats walking along the edge of the stone hollow, one much larger than the other one. Trespassers!
I didn't think. I didn't give them time to explain. I just jumped on the larger one. I figured that if I managed to scare off an intruder, Ivystar would just have to make me an apprentice! I jumped, and I barreled into his side. He lost his balance, and fell down the tall cliffs, down into the camp.
He lay motionless in the middle of the clearing. My heart dropped as I just realized what I did, with the whole of ThunderClan staring up at me, horror clear in their expressions. It made me feel sick. I turned to the other WindClan cat, and I realized he was backing away, brown tabby coat spiked in fear and anger. He tore his glare away, and leapt back to WindClan territory.
Looking to the ground, I noticed a bundle of herbs, dropped by the cat I killed. They were medicine cats.
It was too much for me to take. I collapsed, with the sun's heat singing my pelt. It was like it was angry at me as well.
What have I done?!
. . .
"Maplekit."
The voice woke me up from my unconsciousness. My eyes flitted open. As soon as they did, I regretted it.
All around me were the sounds of yowling cats, and strong scents. I realized we were at the WindClan border. Here, there were less trees, for this was just the border into the moors. Raising my head a little, I realized that a line of ThunderClan cats were separating…no, protecting me from WindClan, in a line of their own just within their borders.
Just in front of me was my mother, fur raised and growling. She was in the line of cats. As I struggled to get back on my paws, I could feel the tension.
"Thrushfeather was a kind and loyal medicine cat to the end!" A cat yowled accusingly, power in the exclamation, shaky with emotion. This cat was obviously close to Thrushfeather. "This will not go unpunished!"
I managed to stand, but I was still a little wobbly. "Well…well…well!" The cat noticed that I was awake, and so did all the cats in the standoff. "If it isn't the little murderer himself! We were just talking about you!" My mother hissed as she tried getting closer.
"Enough, Tanglevine!" A small apricot tom warned the white cat named Tanglevine. I realized that it was the great leader of WindClan, Gorsestar, the one who could trace his ancestry all the way back to Crowfeather of WindClan long ago. I swallowed.
"I agree with her sentiments," he said menacingly to our cats, "Exile the kit, or you face war."
Exile? It felt like my heart broke. I remembered all my dreams and hopes to be a great warrior of ThunderClan. It'll be all over. I'll never be like my father. I'm a disgrace.
"I'll go!" The yowl came from Doestep.
"Doestep." Ivystar began, but my mother would hear none of it.
"I will take Maplekit's place!"
The cats in WindClan smirked. "We accept. You go, and the kit can stay." Tanglevine's tone was mocking. I found myself shaking in rage. What kind of cats are these, who laugh at other cats suffering?
Doestep turned to me and licked my head. I had never felt so bad in my life. When she lifted her gaze, she had a broken look in her eyes. "I don't want to leave you, but if this is what it will take to keep you safe, I…"
"You're really going to leave?!" I couldn't help but yowl in anguish. Despair, fear and anger; all of them surged up within me. Please don't leave.
"Keep your dreams. You're still young. I stand firm on my belief that you will be a great warrior, and that StarClan watches you." She didn't say anymore before turning back to Gorsestar. "I'm ready."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Tanglevine called, "Get going!"
Doestep nodded at all the ThunderClan cats present. When she reached Ivystar, she whispered something in her ear. Ivystar whispered back, looking worried. When my mother whispered again, ThunderClan's leader was mute. She took off, following the WindClan and ThunderClan border, before she was gone from my sight, lost in the horizon.
My heart felt like it was shattered in pieces.
Afterwards, I became an apprentice, like I had always wanted. But it felt empty somehow. I watched Moonpaw and Yellowpaw beside me, their parents behind them, watching with proud looks. I would never have that. I'd never have the warm comfort of Doestep for the rest of my life. I worked hard, with Ivystar as my mentor. It would be for my family. The family I lost.
I made a vow to myself. I'd stay loyal to the warrior code forever now that I know how much it hurts to break it. And if not…well, that's another question. All code-breakers should be punished, and it should hurt just as much as it hurt me. If not, it would be unfair. Unfair to me and unfair to Doestep.
But I'd remember the time when I was just an innocent kit, basking in the newleaf sun, full of dreams, with the warmth and security of a family next to me.
I want the sun back.