((Disclaimer: I don't own GinTama, however the heck you spell it. However, I do own this random bracelet with a purple frog on it. ... Yah.))
Author's Note: I only read the English version of the manga, and the humor is much more slapstick and everyone is a lot more coarse (Is that spelled right?) than what I've seen of the fantranslated Japanese version. I'm not sure if this'll make much of a difference, but I'm just putting it out there. Eh, plus this goes a bit too fast in my opinion.
Puppy Love
"Gin! Take Sadaharu for a walk, uh-huh! If you don't, I'll make sure to let Sadaharu use your Shonen Jumps for messes, yup!"
Kagura grinned as she left, and Gin watched her go, blood dripping down his face: Sadaharu was clamped onto his head. Shinpachi then jogged past him, depositing a bag in the older man's hands.
"Take that to Big Sister, please! I have to go to a, er, meeting!"
The sound of his footsteps slowly receded, and Gin sighed, spitting out a little bit of blood and proceeding to ramble nonsensically.
"No parfait all week… Stupid doctor saying that I'm pre-diabetic… I'm perfectly fine you sonuva gun! So what if my blood sugar's high! It just means I'm sweet! … Girls like that, don't they?"
"Shut up, you lowlife! I have customers!"
Gin leaned down, looking through the small hole in his floor. His landlord (the old hag, he thought) was looking up at him, screaming through the roof/floor. He simply stomped on the hole and half-considered mooning her.
Nah, too much effort.
Shaking his head, which only resulted in more blood, Gin looked around, finally deciding to go ahead and walk Sadaharu. Today is gonna suck, was his last thought before he headed out the door, Sadaharu still gnawing on his incredibly hard head.
"Hiiiyaaah!"
"Whoa-oh!"
Gin flew backwards, landing heavily in a wooden fruit stand. Clutching his sore arm, he stood up, bringing out his wooden sword and scowling at the person who had thrown him; she was now beating off Sadaharu. The … oversized-dog (yeah, let's say that) was trying to bite down on a new chew toy.
The person struck Sadaharu harshly, and the dog whimpered, his tail between his legs. However, Gin was far from giving in.
"What the heck was that for? All I wanted was that apple in your bag, and you're just freaking out! Some of us are down on our luck, buddy!"
"Yeah, and some of us aren't so hot, either!"
Gin gulped, it was her. The fire-breathing dragon/serial killer. Okay, just kidding. She was worse. Much worse.
She was Shinpachi's sister.
"Er, I think you just insulted yourself."
"Moron."
Otae walked over to Gin and elbowed him in the stomach, before stomping as hard as she could on his instep as he doubled over. Then she grinned at him while he slowly unkinked his now-throbbing body. It was just like his Shonen Jump comics. Women always hit hard. Much harder than the man deserved.
"Anyways," began Otae, smiling over her shoulder at Gin as she rocked back and forth on her feet, "today's the Fireworks Festival. Wanna come watch it with me?"
"Urg… Sure, but right now I think my liver's about to come out my mouth. That hurt." Otae grinned wickedly at him, her pretty features suddenly turning dark and deadly.
"You big baby. How are you ever going to find a wife, you foolish man, if you can't even handle that?"
Gin couldn't help it; he shivered.
An hour later, around dusk, Gin was sitting next to Otae on a grassy hill overlooking the large river running through town. Sadaharu was lying nearby, keeping a fearful eye on Otae. Gin had finally remembered to give Otae the package that Shinpachi told him to. It was a package of low-sugar treats, that, surprisingly, the naturally-permed man didn't mind when he tried one.
He had to have planned this… Sadaharu isn't bothering me, I have treats that taste sweet but aren't, and then Otae is sitting next to me… Okay, maybe that last part isn't great…
The fireworks suddenly began, shooting high into the darkening sky, the bright lights illuminating everything in bright flashes. Otae laughed and clapped, and Gin couldn't help but think that she looked innocent and sweet… Until she shot such a wicked look at someone walking in front of them that he felt like he had been whipped.
More time passed, and finally, the show was over. Gin had long since fallen asleep, but a punch from Otae in a very uncomfortable place woke him up. Rubbing his diaphragm gingerly, Gin sneered at her and stood up after she had done the same.
"Thank you for accompanying me, Gin-san."
"… Yeah…"
She waited for him to say something more, but he didn't elaborate.
Of course, Sadaharu wasn't going to have any of that.
The ginormous dog butted his head into Gin's back, and the silver-haired man stumbled forward, running into Otae…
… With his lips.
Gin insanely thought about how this was a completely classic situation in his weekly issue of Shonen Jump.
Otae wondered how she'd kill him for this.
Sadaharu suddenly made a strange noise between a wheeze and what sounded almost like a… a… a giggle.
That stupid dog planned this.
The two broke away. So much had happened in those two seconds. It was one of those times that you didn't know whether to laugh at the embarrassment and awkwardness or cry about them. Instead, the two young adults just stood there, too stunned to do much, though Otae was wondering vaguely why she even wanted to kill him in the first place.
She had to admit… She kind of liked him. And he was a good kisser. He got major bonus points for that.
Of course, that didn't stop her big mouth from beginning to run.
"You bastard! I'll kill you! I'll kill you within an inch of your life for that! And then I'll start on the dog!"
"Hey! Hey! How do you kill me within an inch of my life?! That'd be like keeping me alive! And why does the dog get to go second, huh!?"
"Would you rather me kill you all the way?!"