The Ballad of Iroh and Jun!
For RedNovember, an amazing author who is a model of good authorship. A big thanks to everyone who reviews my work. This is not my best work but it's fun. I had a choice of three endings for this poem, but this one just came to me. Sorry Zuko, I know what you wanted to do!
General Iroh and the Gothic Miss Jun
Went strolling on deck under the moon
Prince Zuko barely could cope
And fervently did he hope
That a cousin was not coming soon
"Oh Jun, I know I'm a bit old
But I'm really quite handsome I'm told
I love whips, belts and chain
And I know you like the same
And long nights alone are too cold
Marry me and you'll be set for life
Being the Fire general's lady wife
We'll have plenty of money
You'll be my sweet honey
And never a moment of strife! "
"Oh Iroh, I don't know about that
For one, you travel with a brat!
There's the age difference, which me wary
And your brother, who is extremely scary
Besides that, you are really too fat!"
"Oh, Jun you don't have to be coy
I can recognize such a ploy
Don't look at it as excess weight
Just think of how it's great
There's more of me to enjoy
As for my family, what can you do?
Ozai a nightmare, that's true
But we'll live mighty fine at home
Once my boy Zuko's on the throne
And I'll lay a kingdom before you "
"Actually, I have an idea that's so keen
You'll be the Fire-Lord and I'll be the queen
I'll tell you how it's so easily done
Just kill off your brother and his son
Ah, isn't it good to be very mean! "
"So you think I should be Fire-Lord"
"Yes, my general so adored"
Iroh smiled and took Jun's hand
As the ship pulled away from the land
And pushed that evil wench overboard!
I want IrJun as much as the next but the ending just needed to be told and anyway, the mental trauma to Zuko getting a cousin (and hearing the process, small ship) would be too great. All that whips and chains would just make him sad and angsty. Well, more sad and angsty then usual. So tell me what you think?