The Discovery
Title: The Discovery
Author: jamie55
Rating: PG, to be safe.
Spoiler: post season 3
Characters: Barney, Robin, Ted with Stella mentioned, Marshall and Lily too, of course, and future Ted and his kids too (it's narrated).
Summary: Apparently episode 1 of season 4 of "How I met your Mother" is described as: "Stella has to give Ted an answer. Barney wants to say something to Robin"; here's one (one of my) interpretation.
Author's note: I FINALLY edited () and am now somewhat sick of it after re-reading it 50 times over but yaaayy! Also this will be continued, and I've had a lot of complaints, from the patient people who beta'ed this, about transition so I hope it's clear. Thank you hyanthian, loveableme87, and cinaed, who are on lj, and Haley's Comet. Also this is going be continued, already got chapter 2. Did I mention how happy I am that I finished editing.
"Now kids, as I was saying, your uncle Barney and I were both in the hospital. I had been in a cab which got hit by a car, but was miraculously unharmed; while Barney was in a full body cast. We made up and became friends again, well brothers actually, and then I went to see Stella."
"Will you marry me?" Ted asked Stella.
"Your uncle Barney wasn't as lucky in his accident, but he survived. And, nine days later, he made an interesting discovery."
Barney awoke in his hospital bed. It was pretty late in the afternoon -though he had a hard time knowing that since the blinds were closed and the lights had been turned off. But Marshall and Lily had just walked in and switched the lights on so he didn't have much of a choice other than to wake up.
"Ughh..."
"Afternoon Mr. Stinson." Marshall said in his giddy (and totally masculine) lawyer voice. Barney blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the new light, while Lily opened the blinds letting even more light in.
"What time is it?" he said, still half asleep and kind of grumpy.
"It's five o'clock, you know what that mean?" Lily was just as cheerful as her husband.
"Quitting time?" Barney asked slightly curious at their good mood.
"Well yeah that too... But I meant that the news is on." She said pointing to the TV. She walked onto the other side of his bed to get the remote before returning to her seat next to Marshall.
"So Barney," Marshall said to his friend who instinctively turned his head away from the television, "How've you been?"
"Are you kidding, I get all the drugs I want and sponge baths. It's awesome. News's on." He ended as the typical theme music played and introduced Robin, her co-anchor, the sports guy and the weather girl.
"In today's news a dog rescues his neighbour and her feline companion from a house fire." Scherbatsky's voice came out confidently from the old television set on the hanging on the wall across from Barney's bed. He couldn't help but grin at her ability to make even the most ridiculous news sound important.
And so the three of them, Marshall, Lily and Barney, watched the news of the day; after which they did the same thing they would have done at the bar (minus the beer and alcohol). They talked about their day, shared jokes, stories and whatnot.
"So what's new with you guys?"
"Oh you know the usual-- Marshall got a job!" Lily joyfully released the news, she and Marshall had decided not to tell anyone until they were sure but then again, who were they kidding? They couldn't keep a secret.
"Congratulations, employment-five!" Barney said excitedly, he felt his hand tremor after the high-five but maintained his composure, most of it at least.
"Oh sorry." Marshall said seeing he hit his friend a little too hard.
"Worth it." he said with a wince, "So where's the job?"
"Well technically they didn't hire me yet."
"What? I let you employment-high-five me! Do you not realize the value of that? Marshall a high five is sacred."
"Well... It's a job interview, but I am going to get it."
"Really?"
"Yes. Maybe. Absolutely, and when I do get the job, 'cause I will, I'll be working for a manufacturing company."
"What do they manufacture?"
"...stuff..."
"You don't know do you?"
"They make plenty of things." Lily jumped in to try and defend her husband. "And besides you never tell us what you do for a living."
Barney laughed "Please, you might not know what I do, but I do, which is more than you can say." He was right, and as great a lawyer Marshall was and as much as they argued about, he couldn't find a good argument against that (except that he will find out and that, more importantly, it is a job), so they changed the topic.
Lily explained to him a hilarious (or what she, and Marshall, thought was hilarious) story about a kindergartener's misadventures with a permanent marker, that's when her cell phone rang.
"Hello? Hy Ted! No we're visiting Barney, didn't you check the new schedule I made? Yeah I put it on the fridge. Oh you're at Stella's..." she stopped looking at Barney strangely before telling them both she would take the call outside so that Marshall could finish telling Barney the story and that she'd be right back. Marshall watched Lily leave the room then, eyes wide, looked back at Barney and nervously chuckled before he fell silent for a second too long.
"Marshall?"
"What? Oh right so uhmm Jerry had the cap off and he decided that it smelled good really good so he-"
"Marshall that story stopped being interesting the minute Lily said 'A kindergartener learned the difference between coloring inside and outside the line.'" After a slight hesitation Marshall replied.
"Okay but don't tell Lily; she thinks it's a really cute story."
"Yeah it's adorable. Why did Lily run out?"
"She didn't run out."
"Dude she ran."
"Did not." He murmured.
"Tell me what you know." Barney said using his interrogation techniques.
"You'll never get me to talk!" He said suddenly jumping from his seat, while keeping his voice as steady and calm as Barney's.
"I have my ways. Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Start talking." They had a stare off until Lily came back in. He and Lily held a speedy silent conversation full of head tilting and a multicolor of facial expressions ending with a gasp from Lily's mouth. She turned back to Barney told him quite sternly, as if he were 5 years old:
"No no, Barney. You can't know, so don't even ask because the answer is NO."
"Why not?" He pouted, "I'm stuck here all day with nothing to do. Worse than that I... It's really starting to get to me, that's right I admit it. The barnacle has finally met his match; I'm incapable of doing anything."
"Ohh it's ok." She tried to comfort him.
"No it's not, I almost died Lily. I could have... But I was lucky. It'll take months of physical therapy just so I'll be able to walk and write normally." After a pause for emphasis and to make sure his speech was taking its full effect on Lily, it was; he turned his puppy dog stare onto Marshall.
"Marshall, you and Ted, and James, you're my brothers. And I'm honored to be yours." His voice cracked and he even sniffles a bit.
"No Barney, I'm honored. You're so brave." Marshall said while giving him another hug.
"Aww..."
"So Lily... as my sister-in-law... tell me, why did you run out of the room."
"No Barney."
"Why not!" He snapped back to his regular self suspiciously quickly.
"It's bad for your health."
"Lily I'm already in a full body cast. How much more damage could you possibly do?"
"No." Lily and Marshall stood a solid front determine to ward off any attempt he made to discover what would probably cause him great mental distress, that is until Marshall cracked.
"Ted asked Stella to marry him"
"Marshall!"
"I'm sorry baby, it just came out. I couldn't help it. He's my brother." They turned from one another to Barney who remained perfectly calm.
"Is that all?" The couple quickly held a telepathic conversation and turned back to Barney, they didn't want to miss what he would do.
Maybe he didn't correctly hear what you said, Lily thought to Marshall.
"Did you hear what I just said?"
"Yeah, Ted popped the question."
Maybe it was a delayed reaction.
"He told me about earlier." He had lost almost all sense of time, almost... there was after all a clock in his room, that plus there was one visitor whose schedule he had basically memorized.
"Maybe it's the drugs." Lily said to Marshall.
"How many drugs did they give you?" Lily perplex repeated her question to Barney.
"Not enough Lily, not enough. Anyway she hasn't even answered him yet. Which is partially why he told me."
--
Earlier when Ted was visiting Barney...
Ted was sitting next to Barney's bed telling him his day and as they laughed together about something his cell phone rang. He took a look at the number and told Barney he had to take it.
"I've been waiting for this call." Barney nodded still giggling about their joke about the something.
"Hey. No I'm just visiting Barney. So uhmm did you? No it's cool. Right. Sure. No I know, it's a big decision, I just thought you might have- but no pressure. Test run? Okay sure we'll talk about it over dinner. Tonight? Great! I'll be over at 7. Alright. Love you too. Bye." click Of course Barney couldn't help but listen in despite Ted attempt to whisper and to muffle his voice.
"Was that Stella?"
"Humm?" Ted distractedly said. "Why would you think it was Stella?"
"You said 'love you too' and 'see you at 7'. It was either Stella, or you and Lily and Marshall have been spending way too much uncensored time together." When Ted tried to but couldn't answer he knew he was right.
"So it was Stella. What's the big news?"
"What do you mean?"
"'No I know it's a big decision I just thought you might have.'" Barney said mimicking Ted's tone and voice, with added emphasis.
"I don't sound like that." But Barney ignored his response and continued.
"Ted come on, I might be in the hospital but I'm not stupid. And don't think I haven't figured out your 'codes', if you can even call them that." If Barney had used such awful codes at work the Chinese would never have been able to hold the 2008 Olympics.
"Codes?" Ted wanted to sound confident that he didn't know what Barney was talking about, but he did.
--
Back to Lily and Marshall's visit to Barney
"You know about our codes?"
scoff/laugh "please, Lily, your 'codes'; yeah, they suck." Marshall and Lily looked at each other remembering the codes they came up with the night Ted proposed to Stella.
--
The night Ted proposed to Stella...
The gang, with the exception of the hospitalized Barney, were taking in everything that had happened today. Ted had just explained how Stella wanted to think about everything before she gave him and answer, which was a perfectly reasonable request.
His friends seemed divided on their opinions.
Lily was excited, nervous and a bit confused, so she said: "Oh my god Ted. You two just broke up and now, but wow. Marriage? I... Baby what do you think?"
"Well baby I think it's great", he started off, "it's great Ted if you really do love her, that's great. But-"
"But come on Ted marriage!" Lily cut him off, "You two just broke up! She has a kid! You've only been dating for what two and half months? What'll happen if things don't work out or if-"
"Lily.." Marshall gently pulled her back down to her seat, she was starting to get out of control and Ted was starting to feel its effect. Robin however hadn't said a word and seemed to be distracted by something else but snapped back into the conversation when Lily had begun her mini-rampage.
She should have some sort of reaction to this, after all she and Ted had dated, he was even the first person she'd ever said 'I love you' to. But she didn't really feel anything that was more then what a friend would feel, their relationship had ended over a year ago and they had both moved on. She was glad he thought he found 'the one' but...
"Look I know it's not the brightest thing I've done, but I do love her and Lucy, and she loves me. Besides she hasn't even given me an answer so... it might not happen..." He said the last more quietly and pondered on the subject as the room grew quiet. Lily was about to say something to try and make him feel better when Robin spoke first.
"We can't tell Barney." Robin said, it was the first thing she said since they got kicked out of his hospital room.
"Barney?" The thought hadn't occurred to Ted. Barney his friend, well best friend (no that's right his brother), would hate the idea of him getting married and of losing his wing-man, again.
"He almost died today, and hearing 'that' might push him over the edge."
"He would be really upset but I don't think-" Marshall started to talk however Robin cut him off before he could finish.
"The doctor said not to stress him out, she said that that could severely affect his recovery and it might even throw him into depression."
"Yeah but-" Again Marshall got cut off, this time Robin scared him a bit and he kept quiet longer.
"No buts, he's gonna be stuck in that bed for a long time and he doesn't need any more bad news."
"Bad news?"
"You know what I mean Ted."
"Alright Robin what do you suggest we do. What happens if Stella calls me while I'm there or if she visits him with me? We can't hide it forever, especially not these two." He said pointing towards Lily and Marshall.
"We can so." One look from Robin though destroyed that defense and Marshall went back to shutting up.
"Well maybe we can't." Lily finished for him, "So what do we do? Not visit him?"
"No you have to visit him; he'd be suspicious if you didn't..." Robin trailed of thinking of poor Barney alone; he'd be crushed if his friends abandoned him, again.
"We'll use codes" She said decidedly.
"Codes?"
--
Forward to Ted's visit with Barney...
"Codes." Barney said, "I know that you all have been using codes. Really crappy codes."
"Well we had to." Ted said defensively.
"Why you think I'm too weak to handle the 'big news'. laughs lightly please Ted. I am Barney Stinson. I am legendary."
"Now what's so important?"
--
In 2030...
"Hold on dad." Ted's Future son said. "What were they?"
"I'm getting to the news."
"No not that. What were the codes you used?"
"The codes? Oh those, I don't know what they are anymore. You can't actually expect me to remember some silly code we used for a week and a half over twenty years ago. I do remember that, whatever it was your Aunt Robin had thought them all up herself, and even she later admitted that they were awful. She was really upset over the whole thing though, which at the time I thought was weird but it made sense in the end, besides I was slightly distracted by a possible wedding.
"Anyway where was I?"
--
Late May 2008 when Ted visited Barney...
"Now what's so important" Barney asked.
"I can't tell you."
"Ted come on! I'm stuck here all day. In this little room, in pain. I'm in pain Ted. You're brother's in pain-"
"So we're really brothers now, aren't we?"
"Yes Ted we're brothers- now what could you possibly tell me that would hurt more than this."
"More than you being hit by a bus?"
"No. Than my best brother is shutting me out."
"Barney I'm not shutting you out."
"Then why don't you tell me?"
--
Back with Lily and Marshall and Barney...
"Hey you told us the same thing." Lily said.
"Yeah I didn't think it would work twice."
"Well it's not working again!" Marshall said determined not to let Barney guilt him into anything again.
"Marshall I didn't say it wasn't true. I mean I'm stuck in a cast all day unable to even scratch my own nose."
"Well you still got Barnacle Jr." He said, now he felt a little bad.
"And what good is he now?" The couple looked pitifully onto their disabled friend.
"I'm sorry man." Marshall said after some hesitation and before a hug.
"Ugh." Barney said as his large hugged him. "That's okay. We're cool." Marshall nodded solemnly and turned to his wife who he also hugged in this burst of emotion.
"I can't believe that worked a third time." Barney thought rolling his eyes as Lily comforted the guilt ridden Marshall.
"Back to my story, Ted felt bed for me so he told me that he proposed to Stella"
--
Back to when Barney was visited by Ted...
"So that's what happened."
"You proposed?"
"Yeah."
"To Stella?"
"Yup."
"For real?"
"Yes Barney I did, for real. I asked Stella to marry me."
"Teeeeeeeed! Why? Why would you do that? Did you get a concussion?"
"Nooo. No I did not. I really love her Barney."
"Yeah I've heard that before. Remember you told Robin you loved her, on your first date. But you don't anymore, right?"
"What? Robin, no I love Stella. Robin and I are friends remember? Maybe you're the one with the concussion."
"Maybe. I mean, yeah, well ... uhmmm... where were we? Oh that's right, you making a huge mistake! First James, now you. I'm losing my wingmen, and my brothers."
"Barney give me a break, she hasn't even said yes yet."
"Oh really? Alright then. So is that what the 'test run' is for?" He said curiously,
"I don't know. We're going to talk about it tonight."
--
Now that Barney's story of how Ted told him he was engaged to Stella is finished (for now) we're back to Lily and Marshall visiting Barney...
"Wow Barney, you were very mature about that." Lily said
"Yeah I know. I don't know why you all thought I couldn't handle it. I can handle it. So another of my best friends may be getting married." He said his confidence beginning to crumble. "Whatever."
Marshall and Lily glanced at each other, knowing to well that he wasn't completely alright, before he changed subject to something less complicated by simply saying: "Your codes suck."
The rest of their visit went by quickly enough and finally Robin arrived to relieve their shift.
"So Lily told me that you found out." Robin said eyeing him carefully, it didn't look like he was panicking but he had a pretty good poker face.
"Well yeah, I mean your 'codes'." scoff
"I thought they were pretty good."
"Yeah well Ted wasn't at his best when he thought of them. I mean they are so obvious a 5 year old could have figured it out. In fact, did you guys ask Lily's kindergarten class to come up with them?"
"Actually I came up with them."
"Oh. Not your best work Scherbatsky." Ignoring his remark, which she had to admit was true, she explain why she did it.
"The doctor said not to bring anything up if we thought it could cause a ... breakdown."
"Robin give me some credit, I can handle anything. I took on a speeding bus and survived. I'm invincible."
"Well Mr. Invincible, the doctor knows best."
"Says you."
"Besides the calmer your recovery the sooner you can get out of here."
"Right. So what'd you bring me?"
"Star Wars."
"Ohhhh which one?"
"All of them, of course. And just in case that TV wasn't DVD compatible, which it isn't... I also got... a dvd player" She said searching for the portable DVD player in her bag, just missing the smile which filled his face.
He watched her, smiling softly, until he became aware of what that feeling was. His smile disappeared, not because it was a bad or sad feeling, although those did follow last time he felt this particular sentiment. He was just surprised, pleasantly surprised actually.
"I'm gonna get something at the vending machine before it starts, you want anything?" She said snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah thanks." He mumbled nodding the best he could with his neck brace still on.
"Now when your Uncle Barney first told me the story he said that that was when something in his brain just clicked. The second time he told me the story he said he'd always know, the only reason he involved that moment was that the Star Wars part would help ease me into the very notion. The third time he said he'd always had a hint in the back of his mind but since she didn't seem interested and since I was the one after her ever since the moment I saw her, he ignored it. Be that as it may, for some reason it was that moment in his hospital bed with your Aunt Robin preparing to watch Star Wars that your Uncle Barney Stinson realized he was in love with Robin Scherbatsky. Or at least that's how he told me the story. And that's why when she came back in the room the only thing he was able to say (after such a shock) was":
"Scherbatsky..." He said it so softly at first that he wasn't even sure he said it.
"I got you a coke and no there's no whisky in it."
"Scherbatsky..." A little louder but she was fixing a tray so that he had somewhere to put his coke near enough to sip without having to hurt himself.
"..With a straw, bendy of course, they're the best kind."
"Robin!" with this he got her attention, for once he wasn't sure what to do with it. Then he realized he was lying helplessly in a hospital bed. This is not the way you tell someone that you're in love with them. Who did he think he was, Ted? No way. Robin and Ted didn't work and Barney as Ted with Robin wouldn't either. Robin and Barney though, they could...
"Barney did you want to say something?" He had called her name out then just looked at her hesitantly for what seemed like forever, it was beginning to get uncomfortable.
"It can wait."
A/N : I forgot to say that Chapter two was beta'ed by loveableme87.