Nobody in his class had a beard.
Ray glanced around at the other students, frowning at their distinct lack of facial hair. Earlier his friend, Gavin, had claimed that every class had that one kid with a wispy beard. But there was no kid. Was he that kid? He admittedly had a bit of stubble. Would he become the wispy beard kid? He should shave soon. He wouldn't want to be like that dude in his first period with the weird patches of beard. Couldn't he tell his beard looked awful? Why didn't HE shave? Did Ray's stubble look that bad? Just before his thoughts could lead him into a miniature existential crisis, a note was was dropped onto his desk.
"Pssst." He heard from his side and turned to Jack, grinning at him. Jack, the ginger-haired heartthrob of the school and one of Ray's best friends. Jack, the secret and unknown keeper of Ray's heart. Jack, the guy that was now prodding him to open the note he'd slipped to him unbeknownst to the teacher. Ray held back a snort as he unfolded the paper, rolling his eyes.
Mind if I come over after school today?
His first reaction, of course, was to scream a resounding yes to the sky. His second was to answer with his trademark word, 'superfluous!'. However, his third reaction, caused by his memory that he had a family dinner, was disappointment. He cursed internally as he picked up his own pencil, scrawling a reply.
Can't. Goin To Dinner With Papa Brownman.
He then doodled a small rose, his trademark signature, before handing it back stealthily.
Apparently not as stealthily as he thought, however, because the teacher was walking in their direction with that look that teachers have when they've caught a student in the act of wrong-doing. "Note." She said simply, snatching the small paper up and unfolding it. Her eyes skimmed over it before she scowled in disappointment, no doubt hoping it contained incriminating evidence of Ray, the most troublesome student in the class.
"Terribly sorry your plans fell through, Mr. Pattillo." The teacher drawled lazily, tossing the note back onto Jack's desk. "However, if I catch you passing notes again, you both will be sent to lunch detention."
Ray shrugged, mouthing a sorry to Jack, but the other boy was looking down at his paper now, biting his lower lip with a furrowed brow.
When the class finally ended Ray trotted over to Jack, nudging his shoulder gently. "You okay, dude?" Jack adjusted his glasses, nodding at him wordlessly. "You sure?"
"Yeah, man. I'm just tired, is all."
"Good. I thought you were getting all pussy and emotional on me for a second there." He snickered; after all, he had a reputation as the class asshole to uphold. Jack laughed back, though halfheartedly, and Ray wanted to hug him and see what was REALLY wrong. He wanted to, but instead he kept silent.
"Hi, guys!" Gavin came rushing towards them, a goofy grin on his face and long golden-brown hair flowing behind him. His fucking hair, clear down past his shoulders, was ridiculous, in Ray's opinion. He leaned in conspiratorially, whispering as he pointed. "Look at those bloody lesbians. How hot is that?" His hazel eyes darted to the two girls holding hands and he waved at them as they walked past.
"Dude, I've never seen someone with two boyfriends be more incredibly un-gay." Ray snorted as Michael finally caught up with them, scowling at the Brit. Gavin flung an arm around the freckle-faced boy, ruffling his auburn curls.
"Excuse you, I'm bisexual. I just appreciate some hot, lesbian action is all."
"Yeah, I know, asshole. I can't fuck you in your fucking room without seeing all your weird lesbian posters." Michael groaned, but he was grinning. "Where's our little Ryan, anyways?" Usually the boy met them before they reached the lunch table, but he was nowhere in sight.
"Probably still practicing in the theater with Joel. They have that big play coming up." Geoff interrupted as he joined them and took a seat, lazy blue eyes scanning the table. "Hi, by the way. Fucking Spanish sucks dick."
"Geoff, please. That's racist to the Brownman." Ray made a face and they laughed.
"I just can't understand what that bitch is saying. It doesn't help that she refuses to repeat anything!" Geoff groused, rummaging in his bag for the packed lunch he no doubt brought.
"I'm sure you didn't have trouble hearing it the first time with those huge ears, Geoffrey." Gavin teased.
"Fucking GOT 'EM!" Ray hooted as the others snickered at Geoff's glare.
"They're almost half the size of your huge nose." He retorted without skipping a beat and the table erupted once more as Ryan approached, smirking as he ran fingers through his hair, an odd mix between sandy blond and ginger.
"What did I miss?" He asked, delivering a quick kiss to both Michael and Gavin.
"Y'know, bullying." Ray retorted as Ryan squeezed between his two boyfriends, accepting Gavin's hand in his.
"So, I didn't miss anything out of the ordinary, then?"
"Hey, is anyone doing anything after school?" Jack suddenly piped up, smiling softly at them.
"Michael and I are having a little date night." Gavin said, winking at the curly-haired boy.
"Anime club meeting." Ryan offered, ignoring Geoff's laughter.
"Holy fuck, Ryan. You're such a fucking loser. I've got a dentist appointment for that tooth I chipped Saturday."
"Yeah, because that's so much cooler. You chipped it trying to open a beer bottle with your mouth." Ryan cocked an eyebrow, chuckling at him.
"What about Ray?" Gavin suggested and Jack shook his head.
"Brownman has plans with the family." Ray supplied helpfully.
"Don't refer to yourself in third person, oh my God. Honestly, I'm just surprised you're not playing video games."
"Trust me, Geoff, it's eating away at me as we speak." Ray pretended to faint, falling into Jack playfully. He scowled when the boy didn't fight back as usual; Jack must be in one of his moods. "You can come over and play games tomorrow, though, Jack." He offered in a subtle attempt to brighten his mood.
Jack just shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "Maybe. I think I might be busy, though." Was all he said and Ray could've screamed.
"Superfluous." He said instead, gaining a scowl from Michael.
"Dude, why the fuck do you use that word constantly? It's so dumb!"
"The Brownman always feels superfluous!" Ray chanted, grinning at Michael's annoyed look.
"Let's see if you feel superfluous when I punch you in the dick."
"C'mon now, he needs that for the ladies!" Geoff defended mockingly. "God knows he goes through a new one every week." It was true; Ray had a LOT of girlfriends that hardly lasted more than a few weeks, not that he really cared. Not with the one person he truly wanted sitting right beside him, unknowingly mocking him with how close he was, and yet so untouchable.
"No lady can handle the Brownman. What about you, Jack?" Ray winked at him, nudging him playfully, and was pleased to see the ginger boy grin.
"I definitely could. It's a shame you couldn't handle me."
"Oh yeah?" Ray's eyes narrowed as he leaned a bit closer, testing the other. "Wanna bet?"
"Maybe I do." Jack hissed back and Ray felt a shiver go down his spine.
"Oh my God, just make out already." Michael interrupted, and the two boys looked away, blushing furiously.
"Relax, we were just fucking around." Jack chuckled. "You know I love joke-flirting with Ray." He ruffled Ray's dark hair and the latter laughed bitterly.
"Yeah. Unlike you ladies, the Brownman is all about the superfluous ladies!" He covered, feeling as if he could break everything in sight and still be angry with himself.
"RAY IF YOU SAY SUPERFLUOUS ONE MORE FUCKING TIME!"
Jack wasn't there.
Fucking. Dammit. The most annoying thing about Jack not coming to school is that Ray had put ACTUAL effort into looking nice. He'd worn his favourite shirt and pants and was feeling, well... Superfluous! But it was fucking pointless, he grumbled to himself, when Jack wasn't there in the morning. He had hopelessly clung to the idea maybe Jack would come in late, as he sometimes did, but Jack missed a lot of school because he was a lazy asshole, so Ray went home empty-handed and bitter over every compliment he'd been given that day.
He was in a hardcore gaming session (what gaming session of his WASN'T hardcore?) when the ringtone he knew to be Jack's made his phone buzz. He paused the game, breathing a sigh of relief that he wasn't on Live, and his heart fluttered when he saw he'd received a text.
hey. parents arent here. wanna come over?
On My Way Dude. Got Any Snacks?
lol. yeah, we got plenty. the doors unlocked so just come in. ill be in my room.
Sweet. Ray saved his progress and properly shut down his equipment before rushing out the door, yelling something to his mom about Jack before he slammed the door behind him.
It wasn't that far of a walk between the two boys' houses, which probably accounted for why they were such close friends in the first place, and Ray was entering the nice house in no time, admiring the decor; Jack's parents put a lot of work into making the house look beautiful, and they'd certainly succeeded.
"I'M HERE!" He yelled up the stairs to where Jack's bedroom was. "GONNA GET FOOD!"
"OKAY, FUCKING NERD!" He heard called back and laughed freely as he began to scavenge through the cupboards. He made his way to Jack's room, the ginger-haired boy sitting stiffly on the edge of his bed. He smiled at Ray when he entered.
"The Brownman has brought food!" He announced, dumping a small load of snacks beside them before sitting down beside Jack. "How come you didn't come to school today?" He asked, reaching for a snack cake.
"Oh, y'know, I really love sleeping in." He laughed dismissively before trailing off. "You look nice, by the way."
Ray mentally patted himself on the back, grinning at the compliment. "I'd say the same, but you always look nice so..." He smiled and looked up, surprised to see Jack's brown eyes on him, staring intensely. "Uh... you oka-" He was cut off when Jack plunged forward, slamming their lips together in a rather unorthodox manner and pushing Ray back. Ray froze as Jack pushed into it before pulling back, looking mildly horrified with himself.
"I'm sorry. I just.. I'm so sorry!" He started to explain but Ray was already wrapping his arms around him, bringing his face closer.
"Shh. I want to do that again. Can I?" Ray asked; it was probably silly to ask, considering Jack had just kissed him, but he never did anything without the other person's permission.
"Y-yes." Jack stuttered out and Ray hated how watery it sounded. So he gently cupped Jack's smooth cheek, pressing their lips together much softer than before, moving ever-so-sweetly against him. Jack kissed back, deepened it even, and pulled Ray onto him until the scrawny boy was on top of him, their torsos pressed together. Ray's free hand moved to rest on Jack's hip and Jack wrapped his arms around Ray's neck.
His cheeks were wet, Ray noted, pulling away to see Jack was crying. "Jack, are you okay? Is it... Is it me?" He went to sit up but Jack held him there, shaking his head.
"No, no. Please, please don't stop kissing me." And his voice was so pleading and sad that Ray wouldn't dream of disobeying it, ducking back down and putting as much of his love that he could into it.
And they just kissed. Ray would lessen when he felt Jack sob against his lips, but he didn't stop kissing him through the tears, not until Jack pulled back and lead Ray to his side, wrapping strong arms around him. Ray ran his fingers through the other boy's hair, a frown plastered on his face as he felt Jack's body tremble with each cry that left him. It subsided, slowly, as Jack fell asleep, and a confused Ray soon followed.
When Ray opened his eyes again, it was dark out. He supposed it was around three in the morning, and blinked blearily at the body he held in his arms. Jack began to stir as well, squinting up at his best friend.
"Hey, Ray." He said and his voice was crackly with sleep and post-crying vocals.
"Hi, Jack." Ray whispered back, smiling warmly.
"I, um, I'm sorry."
"No, no, don't be. I've wanted to do that for a while." He began carding his hands through Jack's hair once again and the latter leaned into the touch. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Let's just sleep." Jack responded shortly, snuggling back into Ray's chest, leaving the other hungry for answers but content.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
There was a fucking alarm going off. Ray felt Jack groan against him and giggled as the other boy reached out an arm to blindly fumble for his phone and shut it off. Ray sighed in relief when the noise was no longer assaulting his ears and sat up, rubbing at his eyes. Jack handed him his glasses and he hummed his thanks, messily shoving them onto his face.
"Good morning." Jack muttered, placing a chaste kiss to Ray's lips, and Ray could have sang with how happy he was; that kiss meant that it wasn't just a one-night thing, that there would be more, and the worry that he'd never be able to kiss Jack again (and hopefully on better terms) disappeared easily.
"Jack, are you okay?" Jack tossed him a shirt and the dark haired boy peeled his own off before slipping into it, enjoying how much bigger it was on him.
"The world would be a weird place if everyone answered that question honestly, you know?"
"Pfft, you're starting to talk like Gavin." He tried to joke, but Jack looked up at him with serious eyes.
"How long do you think it'd be before people stopped asking?" The question sobered Ray and they sat their in silence for several moments.
"The bus will be coming soon. You should go." Jack finally spoke up and Ray turned to him, confused.
"Aren't you coming?" He took Jack's hand in his own, squeezing it gently.
"Nah. I've got some things to do." He gestured around the room vaguely and Ray's brow furrowed.
"Please, Jack. You never answered my question. Do you not want to talk to me?"
"I... I can't, okay?"
"If you're afraid I'll tell your parents, I won't. Heck, maybe you could even talk to them-"
"You should leave now, Ray." Jack's soft voice suddenly became stern, throwing him off. "You need to go." He demanded and Ray stood, fixing him with eyes full of pain and confusion.
"Okay, Jack. I guess I'll see you around." He bit back the lump in his throat as he silently left the house, leaving Jack behind.
Had he been hoping Ray would stay? That Ray would stomp and say 'No, tell me what's wrong!'? That Ray would demand something, anything? Maybe.
But Ray hadn't, and he knew Ray wouldn't because Ray wouldn't want to push him. So Jack sat there for a moment. When he was absolutely certain Ray wasn't coming back, he tried to stand.
Try being the key word because he crumpled back onto the bed, tears welling up in his eyes at the pain in his chest. He groaned quietly, gripping the headboard of the bed as he once again pushed himself up. It was incredibly painful, but he was standing, and he limped towards his mirror slowly.
Taking off his shirt was probably a mistake, because the bruises that littered his chest and stomache made him sick. How could he let Ray know? How could he let ANYONE know?
He ran his fingers ever-so-gently over a particularly nasty bruise on his ribs and winced. He had likely fractured a rib, he was fairly certain, if not broken it. He grimaced at the spot deciding to leave his shirt off because even the faint brush of fabric over it was absolutely killing him.
Ray would forgive him, he was sure, if the previous night spoke any volumes for Ray's care. He managed to crack a smile at that, touching his lips as if it would bring back the taste of the other boy on him. He wished more than anything he could have gone to school with him, could have held his hand and announced to their friends that Ray and Jack, the two ladies' men of the school, were a thing, could have relished in the playful teasing that would ensue.
But he couldn't. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and rushed, painfully, to slip his shirt back on, quietly hoping it was Ray.
He was disappointed when his father opened the door, his smile turning to a grimace at the snacks that littered Jack's bed and floor; fuck, Jack had forgotten about the snacks Ray had brought up.
"What the fuck is all this?" Jack's father asked; he was clean-cut, already in his suit for the day, and the normalcy of his appearance only frightened Jack more.
"Oh, um, I just got hungry. I'll clean it up, I swear." Jack kept his voice calm but pleading as he began bunching up the food on his bed.
"You think you can just fucking take all this shit from the kitchen? I work hard to buy this food, and you're just wasting it!" His father yelled and Jack flinched away.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I swear I won't do it again." Jack bit his lower lip as he avoided his father's gaze, still picking up the items he could reach. It was too late, he noted bitterly as the man came closer. He cowered immediately, clutching his rib cage in a desperate hope to shield his most injured areas. He felt his father's strong arms pull him off the bed and onto the floor where he tried to curl in on himself.
"You fucking... wasteful... useless... bastard!" His father gritted, accenting each word with a firm kick to Jack's legs and torso. He knew where to attack to not leave showing marks, and he did it well. "You can't do anything right, I swear to God! Why do you do this to me, Jack? Do you ENJOY throwing away the food I work to get you?" He pulled Jack to his feet, digging his fingers into the boy's shoulders and shaking him violently. "Do you like hurting me like this?" He yelled in Jack's face, sneering at him.
"N-no, I'm sorry dad! I didn't mean to upset you, I swear!" His father delivered one final, strong punch to Jack and a loud crack sounded in his ears. Jack screamed out in pain and his father dropped him to the floor, apparently deciding he'd had enough.
"You're such a disappointment. Clean up this mess." He demanded before leaving Jack alone.
Jack couldn't breathe. He gasped and gasped for air but was rewarded only with white-hot pain. He managed to flop onto his side as he coughed violently, blood spraying onto the carpet. He tried to sit up but fell immediately, his vision blurring as the lack of oxygen became much more urgent. So much pain, so much fucking pain was the last thing he remembered before he was unconscious.
"Y'now what? Fuck this!" Ray was sitting on the bus, waiting for it to leave when he stood suddenly, surprising his other friends.
"What's up, X-Ray?" Gavin asked, tilting his head to the side curiously.
"I'm going to go be a hero, Vav." He said before making to leave.
"You can't leave!" The bus driver called, but Ray ignored him, stomping to the front. He stopped at the unopened doors, frowning. What now?
"I need to get off this bus." He turned to the driver calmly and the man shook his head.
"I can't let ya leave. School policy." He grunted and Ray cursed under his breath.
"Gavin, I really have to leave this bus!" He yelled and the Brit stood immediately, rushing towards the front.
"Can't stop the bus!" He yelled, before plunging towards the shift to open the door, wrestling slightly with the driver. Ray slid out of the half-open space, laughing when the last thing he heard was Michael screaming 'GOD DAMMIT, GAVIN!'
"Thanks, Vav!" He called, running towards Jack's house; by the time he got there, both cars were already gone, so it was safe to assume his parents were at work.
"I'M HERE, JACK! I'M COMING UP!" He shouted, frowning when there was no reply; had Jack gone back to sleep? He trotted up the stairs and flung open Jack's door, nearly screaming at what sight awaited him. Jack was on the floor, surrounded by a puddle of blood and not moving. "JACK!" He fell to his knees, pulling the other boy onto his lap. "Jack? Jack!" He quickly dialed his mom's number, practically screeching what was happening.
"I'm on my way!" She assured him and Ray's only comfort was that it would take her less than five minutes to get there with the car. He pressed a finger to Jack's neck, feeling for a pulse and letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding when he found one, though weak as it felt. Blood was dribbling out of Jack's mouth, and any movie Ray ever had seen with that involved the person being dead.
"Jack, please be okay. Fucking please be okay!" He chanted over and over, his mind racing and failing to come up with something he could do to help. He could hear Jack's every gasp for air, a low, wet rattling gargle that pierced through him.
He heard footsteps that he assumed were his mother, an assumption that proved right when she DID scream at Jack's condition. "We need to get him to the car!" He yelled at her and she assisted hoisting him up, taking careful steps down the stairs and placing him in the back with Ray.
"You're gonna be okay, Jack. You have to be okay."
Ray wasn't there when Jack woke up. In fact, he didn't get to see Jack in the hospital at all except for when he was admitted, and it was more than a little stressful for him. Like, extremely fucking pissed off kind of stressful. His parents were refusing to let anyone talk to Jack for the moment, and apparently there was some kind of mess going on that Ray had no idea over.
It was two weeks after the incident when Ray finally got to see Jack.
He wasn't in the hospital anymore, but he wasn't with his parents either. When Ray finally saw Jack, he was at his grandma's, only like fifteen minutes away from his old house thankfully.
Jack was laying down in a bed, his shirt off but covered in bandages and bruises. Ray sat beside him quietly, his heart melting and breaking at the same time when Jack smiled at him. "I missed you." He whispered, voice raspy, and Ray took his hand gently.
"I missed you, too, Jack." He tried to blink back tears, but the stinging was too much for him.
"I'm, uh, I'm sure you've got your speculations. I just... Well, I think I should explain." Ray nodded encouragingly, choosing to remain silent as Jack took a deep breath, wincing at the pain it caused.
"Everyone loves my parents. They're neat, friendly, and respected members of the community. Hell, they love EACH OTHER to death, and they're just so perfect. And I thought 'Well, it must be me then', so I just put in this mindset that if they're so perfect, and they beat me, then I must be the disappointment. Have you seen Tangled? Oh wait, we watched that together, didn't we? This is a really shitty comparison, but my parents are like Mother Gothel. I thought that I was doing the bad things. I thought... It doesn't matter." He choked over a sob, taking a moment before continuing. "I couldn't do anything about it. It'd been so many years.
"So many years." He repeated sadly and Ray wanted to scream, thinking of all the times Jack had asked to come over, how many days of school he'd missed, and how many opportunities he missed to help.
"I thought that there was no way it could get better, and I couldn't just say I was getting beaten because, well, everyone just loves my parents so much. They're good people besides... me. I was confused, and I'd try to escape, but I couldn't always. I've, um, I've talked to some people, y'know? And they say that it's okay. They keep telling me it's not my fault, and I'm starting to really believe it." He paused, squeezing Ray's hand. "I'm so sorry I was rude to you. I needed..." Another sob stopped him as he met Ray's eyes, now fully crying. "I needed to feel loved. I felt so useless, so hated and disgusting that I was ready to end it all, y'know? But then you kissed back, and you were so comforting and everything I've ever wanted because dammit I'm so stupidly in love with you." He admitted, tears streaming down his face, and Ray let out a watery chuckle.
"Look at you, apologizing. I should be apologizing! You're all bandaged and broken, and I feel so dumb because do you even know how long I've loved you? Since... well, probably since middle school, honestly. That probably sounds fucking stupid, actually, but I don't care." He knelt closer to Jack, his grip tightening. "You're the world and more to me, and I hate so much that you went through this. Look, your parents are bad people. I'm sorry, but they are, because you are anything but useless and you deserve all the love in the world. I can't make any of it better, and I'm not expecting you to just forget this and be happy, but I'll fucking be there from now on, and I'll kiss you when you're sad and never stop loving you, do you hear me?" Jack nodded, pulling Ray closer until their noses were bumping together lazily. "I'll always be here, Jack. You deserve all of the love in the world." Their lips connected softly, sweetly, and Jack sighed into it, his eyelids fluttering closed.
"I love you, Ray. I'm an idiot, but I want to be your idiot." They giggled, foreheads pressed together as their breath mingled.
"After you're better, the guys all want to throw a little party. Is that okay?" Ray suddenly recalled, smiling when he felt Jack nod.
"As long as you get to be my date."
"The Brownman humbly accepts your superfluous invitation."
Jack swatted him, grinning playfully. "If you don't stop talking in third person, this relationship is never going to work."