Gibbs
By Bong & Schoolgirl Studly
Sponsored by the Logic Stream Network
Mark Harmon gazed upon himself in the mirror of his trailer. He had died years ago, but Dan McGill and Donald Bellisario had sacrificed a few temps to Satan and got his soul brought back in exchange for theirs. Now, his soul was property of the producers of the hit show NCIS, and they had no intention of letting him rest in peace.
It wasn't that he was unhappy; nay, that wasn't the case. He didn't want to go when he died, and fought so hard to stay alive. But, now that he could not die, all he wanted to do was just that. Being undead was just no fun.
He couldn't get an erection. He couldn't get drunk anymore, as his body didn't absorb alcohol the same way. Worse yet, he couldn't sleep, so any form of escape from his everlasting torment was impossible.
Impervious to injury, suicide wasn't an option. His only hope was that when Dan and Donald died, somehow his soul would go free. He didn't know why, but he felt as if he just waited for the two of them to die, instead of killing them himself, his soul might go to Heaven, and escape returning to the torturous fiery pits of Hell he was in previously.
The years piled on, and so did the new stars to replace the old ones. Whether the actors found better gigs or just grew tired of the same thing week in and week out, years turned to decades as Mark just stayed. He wished he could leave, and as great as a character as Gibbs is, he wished he could do something else, if not just be given the peace of eternal slumber. It was sometime around the season where the South American chick who played the Israeli chick character's son was on the show as Ziva and Tony's legitimate son when the amazing happened and Dan died.
Mark couldn't have been happier when the producer choked on a submarine sandwich from a sandwich shop run by immigrants but secretly owned by ISIS and Jeff Goldblum, and knew the time of his freedom was halfway there. All he needed now was Donald to die, from anything but his own hands.
A few years later, Mark was filming some episodes back to back, guest starring on NCIS: Reno, and he was just exhausted. While driving home, he was distracted by the talk radio (it was a Phil Hendrie Jr. segment and Mark always got fooled by those) and crashed his car. When he got out, he noticed he had killed Donald. Jesus Christ came down from Heaven and told Mark "Nice try buddy, now you're cursed to Earth for all eternity you fucking cunt!"
Mark eventually nuked the entire planet's core, exploding the entire globe into dust, but Mark just floated around space, alone, unable to die.