Yet another sleep deprived night filled with conferences and board meetings. The four layers of clothing I'm wearing have begun to take its toll-especially on a planet known for it's desert heat. Keeping my royal posture perfect hasn't exactly helped the situation either. I suppose the slight suffering is worth it for my people in the long run, though.

General Solo has been droning on and on about our, "Need to take immediate action against the empire." For the past 6 hours and his rant doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon.. Though I applaud his attempts at persuading my court, he will not attain my people's lives for the sake of his unrealistic cause. Tatooine will never go back to the way it was before; filled with gangsters, murderers and traitors living in chaotic hell. My mother and I had worked too hard for too long only to simply hand our people over… My people, rather.

"We cannot keep going on in this war without more soldiers, and yous are the best." Spat Solo. I roll my eyes, "You forget, dear General, that my people are only the 'best' because of my families work for the past forty years to make them so. And even so, they we are far from soldiers, we are the protectors and the keepers of the force." I remark coldly, eyes now narrow.

Another huff from Solo makes this one number sixty-four since this seemingly endless meeting.

He looks at me eagerly, "My lady I do not wish to pry, but your people used to believe tha-"

"The Jedi may be protectors first and foremost, but not when they know many to all will die only to lose. Believe me, General, if I had the numbers and the equipment, not to mention positive odds towards the Senate, I would not hesitate to follow your suit. I however do not, and quite frankly have more important things to attend to at the moment." And with that, I stand and bow. Out of tradition, everyone in the room must do the same as I exit.

Finally, I reach my hall where I immediately remove the awful dress that had been suffocating me to near death. My handmaidens hand me my usual tan night robe and I already feel as if I was light as a feather.

As I sit in bed I hear a faint voice, "Will there be anything else, milady?" my assistant, Austa, asks me. I look at her and give a blissful smile, "No, Austra, that won't be necessary. I am content for the night and shall not need for any company until the morning, if you catch my meaning." I close my eyes and sink into my light blue sheets, already falling asleep more and more with every passing moment.

Austra says something in return, but by then I'm too far gone.

Over the past year, sleep had quickly become more of an indulging treat than any food or person could ever replace. Being a queen, I have trained myself to be content with four hours of sleep at the most. I honestly don't know how my mother tolerated royal duties for forty years without even slightly complaining. Then again, I've never really attempted to tell anyone of my suffering either.

My thoughts start to wonder from narration to action in slumber as my mind takes me to a grave place.

My breath quickens. I can't reach her. I run faster and faster as she gets further and further away. I can't give up, giving up means failure of the worst kind. She's fighting for her life and losing. I can hear her pleading; screams of hurt and guilt uttered as if they were directed at me.

I stop running. A sharp pain strikes my stomach, making vomit seem to be the only source of release.

The guilt and memory flashes as I see her dying face in front of me again. Her eyes look so distant as she tries to speak to me.

I push harder and harder onto her stomach, trying to keep the blood inside until she vomits. I start to shake as she collects herself and looks at me, this time smiling, "This isn't your fault, Brin." She whispers. "Nor is it Jacon, he is only lost. Just as his grandfather was. Never forget that, my dear." I nod as to say that I understand, but inside we both know I blame myself an unfathomable amount.

With one last gaze into my eyes, she's gone. I scoop her up in my quivering arms and return her now lifeless body to the ship. As I gently set her down on the table, I mumble my last words to her. "I will never forget you, mother."

As I awaken, I'm reminded of yet another reason to my lack of sleep. The heart aching nightmares that always occur.

To be continued...